Ex Footballer blog. Feedback and opinions appreciated.
Discussion
SpookiePookie said:
Mate, I can't express how much of a privilege it is that you've shared your deepest thoughts with us. Some of it really cuts close for me.
I always felt that I could've played to a decent level, but was badly bullied in my team. I was competing for a position with the manager's son and was either benched or played out of position. Inevitably, being played out of position means I was playing badly. I lost all confidence and quit at 14 years old when I felt I could've done much better.
I think a lot of the effects followed me into adulthood. I didn't kick a ball again until I was 18 and filling in for the "dads' team" at a tournament my younger brother was playing in. After that I didn't play again until I was 27 and I've been playing regular since. I was delighted to discover that I could still play at a good amateur level and it has been a massive confidence boost to actually win the league and make some new friends. I've come up against a few lads from the past who always looked down at me and I've taken great pleasure in giving them a good spanking!
Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. I suppose my point is have you considered playing at all? Sorry if I missed that - I've not managed to read everything yet. You might enjoy a game of 5-a-side with the pressure off. I've suffered a bit with anxiety but I've also coped with distractions. I only end up in a mess when I'm bored and can't get motivated to do anything.
I play a bit but I can't commit because of work. It's frustrating when your brain is sharp but your body is too old! Thank you for your kind words it means a lot.I always felt that I could've played to a decent level, but was badly bullied in my team. I was competing for a position with the manager's son and was either benched or played out of position. Inevitably, being played out of position means I was playing badly. I lost all confidence and quit at 14 years old when I felt I could've done much better.
I think a lot of the effects followed me into adulthood. I didn't kick a ball again until I was 18 and filling in for the "dads' team" at a tournament my younger brother was playing in. After that I didn't play again until I was 27 and I've been playing regular since. I was delighted to discover that I could still play at a good amateur level and it has been a massive confidence boost to actually win the league and make some new friends. I've come up against a few lads from the past who always looked down at me and I've taken great pleasure in giving them a good spanking!
Anyway, I'm rambling about myself. I suppose my point is have you considered playing at all? Sorry if I missed that - I've not managed to read everything yet. You might enjoy a game of 5-a-side with the pressure off. I've suffered a bit with anxiety but I've also coped with distractions. I only end up in a mess when I'm bored and can't get motivated to do anything.
Ruskie said:
It's tough breaking in anyway, but even harder as a keeper. I often wonder how the likes of Gerhard Tremmel, number 3 keeper at my club Swansea, cope with life which basically consists of turning up for training and turning out for the occasional youth team match.It must be fairly demoralising after a while.
Ruskie said:
Great post, an achievement most of us could barely even dream of. Genuinely glad to see you in a much better place and frame of mind. Hope you got my email Ruskie said:
Amazing. Well done Ruskie. I've just been through a rough patch and it's always a great feeling when you come out the other side. Really pleased things are looking up for you, despite the love life setback. You did right to tell her upfront, but to be fair to her, she did right to dump you if she didn't think it was something she wanted to deal with.
We all come with baggage of some form or another, be it kids, ex spouses, physical or mental health issues, debt, and loads of other stuff, and no one ones any of us a damn thing.
She didn't fancy it....then sod her.
As I always used to say when I got dumped, plenty of other desperate women with poor eyesight and low expectations out there!
We all come with baggage of some form or another, be it kids, ex spouses, physical or mental health issues, debt, and loads of other stuff, and no one ones any of us a damn thing.
She didn't fancy it....then sod her.
As I always used to say when I got dumped, plenty of other desperate women with poor eyesight and low expectations out there!
Hi Ruskie - firstly sorry to hear you are struggling and hope that you have someone to talk to in real life when get feelings of just ending it all (or living in the countryside on your own; I've felt that way before - as have others I've heard say similar things).
Anyway seems like you are very much in a dip again. Do you tend to post more when you are feeling at your lowest? It can be hard sometimes to remember how many good days you've had once the darkness sets in.
On a related note, presume you read this; thought it was interesting insight.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/11/c...
Anyway seems like you are very much in a dip again. Do you tend to post more when you are feeling at your lowest? It can be hard sometimes to remember how many good days you've had once the darkness sets in.
On a related note, presume you read this; thought it was interesting insight.
https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/oct/11/c...
anniesdad said:
I actually shed a small tear reading that a couple of nights ago. Gassing Station | Football | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff