Thrown out of pub - stories
Discussion
It seems to be a rite of passage in the UK. Either that or I hang out with particularly dysfunctional types. Somehow I managed to escape it last night. I was feeling merry, not drunk I should emphasise, but had a liquid lunch and feeling festive by evening time. My half pint was sitting there unattended as the staff had gone off to do something else and I thought I would assist in topping it up to the brim by dabbing the handle a few times. I don’t know why I did it - just thought of my student days pouring pints in the bar and naturally thought I was being helpful. The barman looked like he wanted to strangle me and luckily his colleague stepped in and I muttered sorry several times. Oops .. so what have you done to deserve ejection?
Edited by fido on Saturday 7th December 11:51
Only once in a club when 19. They have a VIP bit upstairs, I wasnt allowed up because I wore trainers... it was my birthday, and I was going up. After arguing, and a few more drinks I swapped shoes with a pal as a laugh, still being awkward the bouncer still said no. Gave no reason. So when he was chatting to someone, a few drinks more, I made a dash. Half way up, like spiderman, a hero of the club. The world cheering (4 drunken pals) grappled, and flung out the front door. Happy birthday haha. Dont know how I got home after still cant remember.
Three times, all a very long time ago.
1. Aged 14, I was the tallest of three young friends at a sporting event in a strange town so I was sent into a bar to try and procure some illicit alcohol.
" Three pints please?"
"What of"
"Beer"
"Out!"
2.Late teens, first time in a strange country (England) , working my way along a bar of drinks I'd never heard of.
"What's this one?"
"Bitter" he said just as I put it to my lips.
"f
king right it is" as I spat it out on the floor.
"Out"
3. Standing at a traditional bar in Edinburgh, slightly tiddly, when someone knocked over a pint "dimple" glass, I tried conscientiously to catch it with my foot from smashing on the floor. Slightly too enthusiastically, I managed to drop kick it over the barman's head to smash the full length antique decorative mirror behind his head.
"Out and don't come back"
1. Aged 14, I was the tallest of three young friends at a sporting event in a strange town so I was sent into a bar to try and procure some illicit alcohol.
" Three pints please?"
"What of"
"Beer"
"Out!"
2.Late teens, first time in a strange country (England) , working my way along a bar of drinks I'd never heard of.
"What's this one?"
"Bitter" he said just as I put it to my lips.
"f
king right it is" as I spat it out on the floor."Out"
3. Standing at a traditional bar in Edinburgh, slightly tiddly, when someone knocked over a pint "dimple" glass, I tried conscientiously to catch it with my foot from smashing on the floor. Slightly too enthusiastically, I managed to drop kick it over the barman's head to smash the full length antique decorative mirror behind his head.
"Out and don't come back"
I've been thrown out a club for dealing, when I wan't dealing. Mistaken identity I think, not that my protestations got anywhere.
I've also been thrown out a pub for singing football songs. Turns out Glasgow's non aligned family pubs don't want cultural tunes sung by steamers. Who knew?
I've also been thrown out a pub for singing football songs. Turns out Glasgow's non aligned family pubs don't want cultural tunes sung by steamers. Who knew?
I have no recollection and to this day no one will actually give me the whole story but somehow I (apparently) was ejected from the local rugby club bar and banned for a month.
Personally I think it was a windup as there is nothing I could have done worse than some of the normal late night antics!
Personally I think it was a windup as there is nothing I could have done worse than some of the normal late night antics!
Once got thrown out of a casino. Went there for a full English breakfast in their restaurant after a night of clubbing. My mate used his brother's name to get us in (his brother was a member - none of us were as we were all under 18)... then his brother turned up and we were duly rumbled! Wouldn't have minded but we hadn't had our food yet. 
?Finding breaker panel in an establishment and knocking out all power to the place.
Getting naked
trying to piss in a pint glass at a bar.
After a friend was sick in a jug, making him try and drink it, then pouring remnants over his head.
Helping ourselves to the taps at a party we organised........
Getting naked
trying to piss in a pint glass at a bar.
After a friend was sick in a jug, making him try and drink it, then pouring remnants over his head.
Helping ourselves to the taps at a party we organised........
We had our wedding reception at a very swanky local hotel.
There was a bit of an issue on the night with the room and as a sweetner, the hotel offered us a free dinner + drinks the following week for 4 people.
Which was nice.
Turned up the following week with my best man & partners, had the meal & got slightly carried away with the free booze.
At some point, me & my mate thought it would be a great idea to to take the swords & shields from the walls in the bar, don helmets from the suits of armour & have a Game of Thrones stylee combat session.
Out.
There was a bit of an issue on the night with the room and as a sweetner, the hotel offered us a free dinner + drinks the following week for 4 people.
Which was nice.
Turned up the following week with my best man & partners, had the meal & got slightly carried away with the free booze.
At some point, me & my mate thought it would be a great idea to to take the swords & shields from the walls in the bar, don helmets from the suits of armour & have a Game of Thrones stylee combat session.
Out.
Many years ago my departed dad told me a story about a Pub that used to be in Kidderminster town centre called The Green Man. Dads mate Dave Wright ran it and it was a proper spit and sawdust venue. It was the late 1960s and the local rag and bone man walked into the pub with his horse in tow. Dave hit the roof and said “ Get that filthy effer out of my pub now”, said Steptoe type took offence and said “ Don’t talk to my ‘orse like that”. Dave with his rapier wit replied “ The horse can stay but you can F off.”
At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
At the time Robert Plant was at the bar and made some comment on the proceedings and was advised he could join Steptoe if he liked.
HD Adam said:
We had our wedding reception at a very swanky local hotel.
There was a bit of an issue on the night with the room and as a sweetner, the hotel offered us a free dinner + drinks the following week for 4 people.
Which was nice.
Turned up the following week with my best man & partners, had the meal & got slightly carried away with the free booze.
At some point, me & my mate thought it would be a great idea to to take the swords & shields from the walls in the bar, don helmets from the suits of armour & have a Game of Thrones stylee combat session.
Out.
This may have been around since Tim Berners Lee 1st connected stuff but it was new to meThere was a bit of an issue on the night with the room and as a sweetner, the hotel offered us a free dinner + drinks the following week for 4 people.
Which was nice.
Turned up the following week with my best man & partners, had the meal & got slightly carried away with the free booze.
At some point, me & my mate thought it would be a great idea to to take the swords & shields from the walls in the bar, don helmets from the suits of armour & have a Game of Thrones stylee combat session.
Out.
As you were
Glasgow in the 80s. Mid afternoon on a week day and a few drinks with some friends from out of town.
We are going into a cellar bar which is understandably quiet given time of day, the bar is at the far end of the room.
I walk down towards the bar moving imaginary customers out of our way, saying, “let me fight my way through this heaving throng”.
Famed for my wit, I am.
When we got to the bar, the barman looked directly at me and said, “you can f*ck off now”
Cool story bro’
We are going into a cellar bar which is understandably quiet given time of day, the bar is at the far end of the room.
I walk down towards the bar moving imaginary customers out of our way, saying, “let me fight my way through this heaving throng”.
Famed for my wit, I am.
When we got to the bar, the barman looked directly at me and said, “you can f*ck off now”
Cool story bro’
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