Home Mechanic Cock-up
Discussion
All kind of amusing! I haven't posted for a while, but some time ago I posted a couple of idiocies of my own : changed a steering damper on my old 190e and because I'd hauled the wheels over a bit to get better access, when I got back in the car I almost went down my own inspection pit. On the same car, I burned out part of the wiring trying to trace a fault - I couldn't find my trusty fused test lead. Also years ago I ran over my foot with my old P4 Rover - thank goodness I had safety boots on! And yes, I have done an oil change and not put the sump plug back. Messy and depressing!
Oh yes, cock-ups happen, and I've had my fair share
...but you know the great thing 'bout being a Home Mechanic
....they're your cock-ups and you're not going to have to pay someone else's Labour rate twice
...or pay for some Garage's dis-honesty when they decide to tell you that something's knackered when it really isn't *
I've learnt the hard way over the years, that there comes a point when continuing to work when you're either dog-tired or bad-tempered is either very slow or counter-productive
...but you know the great thing 'bout being a Home Mechanic
....they're your cock-ups and you're not going to have to pay someone else's Labour rate twice
...or pay for some Garage's dis-honesty when they decide to tell you that something's knackered when it really isn't *
I've learnt the hard way over the years, that there comes a point when continuing to work when you're either dog-tired or bad-tempered is either very slow or counter-productive
- I saw an account on Youtube from a User I like "TwoStrokeTurbo", of a Toyota Corolla, where the local main dealer had said "Your power steering's knackered Sir, repair 'll be more than the car's worth"... only thing was, this 30 ish yr old Corolla wasn't fitted with PAS from new.
VanDiesel99 said:
Oh yes, cock-ups happen, and I've had my fair share
...but you know the great thing 'bout being a Home Mechanic
....they're your cock-ups and you're not going to have to pay someone else's Labour rate twice
...or pay for some Garage's dis-honesty when they decide to tell you that something's knackered when it really isn't *
I've learnt the hard way over the years, that there comes a point when continuing to work when you're either dog-tired or bad-tempered is either very slow or counter-productive
We are all humans, and we all make mistakes, even the most conscientious master mechanic. I`ve worked in the car repair business all my life, could write a book about the stuff I`ve seen happen....but you know the great thing 'bout being a Home Mechanic
....they're your cock-ups and you're not going to have to pay someone else's Labour rate twice
...or pay for some Garage's dis-honesty when they decide to tell you that something's knackered when it really isn't *
I've learnt the hard way over the years, that there comes a point when continuing to work when you're either dog-tired or bad-tempered is either very slow or counter-productive
- I saw an account on Youtube from a User I like "TwoStrokeTurbo", of a Toyota Corolla, where the local main dealer had said "Your power steering's knackered Sir, repair 'll be more than the car's worth"... only thing was, this 30 ish yr old Corolla wasn't fitted with PAS from new.
I`m now happily retired, gave my Mercedes a simple oil change service, no probs. Washed my hands and put my overalls in the washing machine. Went to move the Mercedes, where are the keys ?? they were being washed with my overalls in the machine !!! A new fob from Mercedes cost me £260.
I may have fitted a pad the wrong way around once, there was also the time I forgot to pump the pedal after changing the pads on a mates car then pulled off my driveway and promptly crashed into my own car...
I've left tools under the bonnet on plenty of occasions too, one of my old Mondeos developed quite an ominous rattle after I'd worked on it and the cause turned out to be a ratchet on top of the engine.
Then there was the time me and a mate changed the head gasket on a Rover;
My mate; 'This is the torque figure for the head bolts...'
Me; (whilst tightening the head bolts); 'Are you sure? I don't think they're supposed to be this tight'
.....SNAP.....
My mate; 'No, wait, that's the wrong torque figure!'
Me; 'b
ks'......
I've left tools under the bonnet on plenty of occasions too, one of my old Mondeos developed quite an ominous rattle after I'd worked on it and the cause turned out to be a ratchet on top of the engine.
Then there was the time me and a mate changed the head gasket on a Rover;
My mate; 'This is the torque figure for the head bolts...'
Me; (whilst tightening the head bolts); 'Are you sure? I don't think they're supposed to be this tight'
.....SNAP.....
My mate; 'No, wait, that's the wrong torque figure!'
Me; 'b
ks'......Changed all the brake pads on my Z4M coupe after a ring or spa (possibly both!) trip, left the locking wheel nut socket on the nut on the test drive.
Even worse, topping up the screen wash on the Type-R for the first time, didn't realise the bottle top didn't have a loop to stop it dropping into the crammed bay, flipped up and down she goes. A two minute job of perhaps the only car maintenance I'd trust the Mrs to do and I spent a whole Sunday stripping back wheel arch liners, under trays and god know's what else. I still couldn't find the fecker!
Even worse, topping up the screen wash on the Type-R for the first time, didn't realise the bottle top didn't have a loop to stop it dropping into the crammed bay, flipped up and down she goes. A two minute job of perhaps the only car maintenance I'd trust the Mrs to do and I spent a whole Sunday stripping back wheel arch liners, under trays and god know's what else. I still couldn't find the fecker!
njw1 said:
Then there was the time me and a mate changed the head gasket on a Rover;
My mate; 'This is the torque figure for the head bolts...'
Me; (whilst tightening the head bolts); 'Are you sure? I don't think they're supposed to be this tight'
.....SNAP.....
My mate; 'No, wait, that's the wrong torque figure!'
Me; 'bks'......
I torqued up the rear brake caliper carrier bolts on my Z4 to the front bolt torque (65 vs 110nm).My mate; 'This is the torque figure for the head bolts...'
Me; (whilst tightening the head bolts); 'Are you sure? I don't think they're supposed to be this tight'
.....SNAP.....
My mate; 'No, wait, that's the wrong torque figure!'
Me; 'b
ks'......I noticed it suddenly getting easier and had the fortune to stop. I think someone was watching over me that day!
In the same vein, stripped the thread on the top wishbone bush mounting bolt, so I did my first helicoil. Was very pleased with myself.
Notice how I said *top* bolt, not the bottom one.
On the plus side, the second time round I was well practiced.
Last one - couldn't work out why the headlight washers weren't working. Took the front bumper off before I realised they only worked with the ignition in position 2....
Loads more unfortunately.
I once thought it a good idea to paint my throttle body. Didn't use high temperature paint. After a couple of hundred miles, the car went into limp mode, turned out to be over boosting. Checked everything, after hours poking about i found the throttle body almost off. Bolts just finget tight. Paint had softened and vibration had done the rest.
I took off my coil pack to check something - not sure what - on the VX220. Coil pack back on, I drove into Marlow, grabbed some shopping then headed back home. About 1/2 a mile from home the car just died in the middle of a spirited drive; I managed to roll about 400 yards round a bend and into a bus stop on the other side of the road.
What the hell was it; couldn't be battery as the radio was still working and I could hear the starter spinning. What...what....what.....my shopping was getting warm in the boot....hold on, the plug into the coil pack looks like it's at a funny angle. You guessed it, hanging out. My mechanical skill didn't extend to pushing the plug home so it clicked....shat myself I must say.
What the hell was it; couldn't be battery as the radio was still working and I could hear the starter spinning. What...what....what.....my shopping was getting warm in the boot....hold on, the plug into the coil pack looks like it's at a funny angle. You guessed it, hanging out. My mechanical skill didn't extend to pushing the plug home so it clicked....shat myself I must say.
Removed the swirl flaps from an E60 BMW and attached the blanking plates. These are on the intake manifold, and whilst putting it back together my wife comes out to talk to me about something of absolutely no importance, as per usual. I then proceed to put the rest of the bits back on, take car for a quick test drive and relax with a beer.
The next day, I start my drive (on my own) down to Cornwall. About 70 miles into the journey I have the opportunity to overtake so floor the accelerator and away I go, however the engine management light comes on along with a warning on the idrive about the emissions..... I pull over, have a look at the engine, cannot see anything wrong and press on. Just before Cornwall I start to get a headache and notice a bit of a smell in the cabin. Drove home the following day with the windows down and have a poke around once home. Turns out that I didn't fully tighten the bolts on the intake manifold. Bloody wife!
The next day, I start my drive (on my own) down to Cornwall. About 70 miles into the journey I have the opportunity to overtake so floor the accelerator and away I go, however the engine management light comes on along with a warning on the idrive about the emissions..... I pull over, have a look at the engine, cannot see anything wrong and press on. Just before Cornwall I start to get a headache and notice a bit of a smell in the cabin. Drove home the following day with the windows down and have a poke around once home. Turns out that I didn't fully tighten the bolts on the intake manifold. Bloody wife!
Tony1963 said:
Not on a car, but...
I was once asked to ‘rob’ a part from one aircraft and to fit it to another. I robbed it from the wrong aircraft...
Mate of Mine (Yes it was my mate not me) sent a Herc flying with an engine Nacelle door only tacked in place with a few fasteners. He went out to do an inspection on an aircraft engine. Looked at the rects board for the spot number. Went out to the spot on the pan, got half way through and had to go back for a tool (mirror). When he got back to the slot the aircraft had just taken off. I was once asked to ‘rob’ a part from one aircraft and to fit it to another. I robbed it from the wrong aircraft...
Transpired the rects board had the wrong aircraft in the wrong slot. He never checked the a/c tail number. s
t happens. Rang the tower. Aircraft radioed and returned to base. Lots of human factors. Last couple of hours of day 7 of 12 hour shifts. Aircraft pan lighting off for nvg operations, etc etc etc.
Took my M5 in for an MOT. I sat in the waiting area.
The tester comes in and says "You've had a lot of work done on the suspension..."
"Yes!" I reply proudly. "I do all the work myself!"
He gestures me to follow him under the car and points out a retaining nut that I have clearly neglected to torque properly. He kindly offers to nip it up for me there and then and I skulk back to the waiting area. He was kind enough to Pass the car.
Edit: ...but the pro's are only human too. I found a magnetic torch stuck to the underside of my car and enjoyed returning that to the guy when I returned to his workshop the following Saturday.
The tester comes in and says "You've had a lot of work done on the suspension..."
"Yes!" I reply proudly. "I do all the work myself!"
He gestures me to follow him under the car and points out a retaining nut that I have clearly neglected to torque properly. He kindly offers to nip it up for me there and then and I skulk back to the waiting area. He was kind enough to Pass the car.
Edit: ...but the pro's are only human too. I found a magnetic torch stuck to the underside of my car and enjoyed returning that to the guy when I returned to his workshop the following Saturday.
Edited by Hereward on Monday 29th June 19:21
Night before going on a track day did my usual fluid check etc after packing the spare wheels & tools etc, all good, no issues.
Arrived at the day, changed to dry wheel/tyre set up, signed on, did sighting laps etc, went out on my first short set of laps & did my usual check all round the car...……. No oil filler cap!!!!!!
Arrived at the day, changed to dry wheel/tyre set up, signed on, did sighting laps etc, went out on my first short set of laps & did my usual check all round the car...……. No oil filler cap!!!!!!
Years back, took the front bumper off a MK1 Escort and removed the bumper hangers as they were dangerous projections. Was in process of putting back the bolts which held the bumper hangers and the anti roll bar mounts but house phone rang. Decided to call the bloke who was going to rechrome the bumpers while I was in there and forgot hadn't tightened things up.
Later driving it round numberless steering seemed off, anti roll bar mounts waving about in space. Grovelled down at the roadside didn't notice I'd trapped a bit of the loom.
Few days later, big electrical short, loom burnt out, paint job too.
Later driving it round numberless steering seemed off, anti roll bar mounts waving about in space. Grovelled down at the roadside didn't notice I'd trapped a bit of the loom.
Few days later, big electrical short, loom burnt out, paint job too.
I fitted new pads to my Subaru Legacy. I've fitted pads tens of times to many cars over the years but they never felt right. I assumed it was because they were harder than the standard ones. Fortunately I needed some more complicated work done by a dealer who noticed I'd put them in wrong. I still don't know what I'd done wrong but the pads were wearing in a wedge shape. Felt stupid.
I'm still gutted about the missing allen key from an otherwise perfect set I'd owned for years. I must have left in my engine bay once and deposited it on the M5.
Same for the 10mm socket I lost. Everytime I open my socket set case up, that little slot where the 10mm one should go winks at me.
What about an oil change where I didn't check either the oil capacity of the engine or the capacity of the drain pan I was using. It was probably only half the capacity I needed but it was OK because my driveway had plenty of capacity. Totally ruined the tarmac surface.
And, while building my Caterham I walked around the back of the car with the exhaust in hand, and dragged it across the paintwork leaving a short, thin but glaring scratch. I remember the fury I felt even now, over 20 years later.
Most recently, changed the air springs on my Merc GL. Bit of a faff pulling the damper/spring upright out and had to lean on the lower wishbone to afford the clearance. In the process the driveshaft popped out of the diff. I reinserted it but the day after I noticed a pool on the drive under that particular corner of the car and assumed I'd lost diff fluid, and had damaged a seal when reinstering the driveshaft. Took it to a garage but after an intense investigation they found no cause for alarm, and the pool of fluid dried up on its own. I am sure it had an oily feel to it but it must have just been trapped water in the bodywork (car isn't being used much in lockdown) that spilled out, and my hands were already oily. Felt stupid again.
I'm still gutted about the missing allen key from an otherwise perfect set I'd owned for years. I must have left in my engine bay once and deposited it on the M5.
Same for the 10mm socket I lost. Everytime I open my socket set case up, that little slot where the 10mm one should go winks at me.
What about an oil change where I didn't check either the oil capacity of the engine or the capacity of the drain pan I was using. It was probably only half the capacity I needed but it was OK because my driveway had plenty of capacity. Totally ruined the tarmac surface.
And, while building my Caterham I walked around the back of the car with the exhaust in hand, and dragged it across the paintwork leaving a short, thin but glaring scratch. I remember the fury I felt even now, over 20 years later.
Most recently, changed the air springs on my Merc GL. Bit of a faff pulling the damper/spring upright out and had to lean on the lower wishbone to afford the clearance. In the process the driveshaft popped out of the diff. I reinserted it but the day after I noticed a pool on the drive under that particular corner of the car and assumed I'd lost diff fluid, and had damaged a seal when reinstering the driveshaft. Took it to a garage but after an intense investigation they found no cause for alarm, and the pool of fluid dried up on its own. I am sure it had an oily feel to it but it must have just been trapped water in the bodywork (car isn't being used much in lockdown) that spilled out, and my hands were already oily. Felt stupid again.
A couple of years ago I had a BMW 645. Lovely car and a lovely, if a little muted, V8. The only problem was that the Sat Nav screen was FUBARed, it just showed static. I changed the screen for one off Ebay, which didn't improve things, then changed the cable from the head unit to the screen, which also didn't improve things. So I decided to change the head unit.
I got a guaranteed but 2nd hand head unit, correctly coded to the car and proceeded to fit it. After disconnecting the battery I stripped out the centre console only to find that the head unit wouldn't come out while the gearstick was in Park. I went to put the key in the ignition to realise they were in the boot, which was shut. The boot release in the cabin and the latch wouldn't work as there was no power to the central locking, and I only had one key, so couldnt use the manual lock on the bootlid. I proceeded to remove the back seat to get to the ski bag hole blanking plate in the hope I could get into the boot to find the keys and or reconnect the battery. How I was going to do this I do not know, being only an amateur mechanic my arms only have the standard shoulder, elbow and wrist joint but it was a Saturday afternoon, I had a hot date and I was desperate. After cracking my head on something for the third time and bits of rear seat all over the drive getting rained on I decided it was time to see what Google has to say. Fortunately I had a jump pack that wasn't in the boot so was able to power the car from the jump start points and enter the boot. Yes I didnt know that before but I do know and teh jump pack now lives under the drivers seat.
Fitting the head unit was a doddle after that, no different to fitting stereos back in the day. Reconnect battery, ignition on, gear stick into park, battery off, swop head unit, battery on, ignition on to confirm that it's fixed, FLASHING RED LIGHTS EVERYWHERE and gongs out of every speaker. The big red cog one and everything. Reader I thought I'd bricked the car and that what on Friday evening had been a five grand luxury V8 barge was now a lump of scrap, which I didn't have the cash to replace.
After another brew and a calm down, I disconnected the battery and put the gear stick back in park. Let the car settle down overnight and went back to it in the morning. It was happy as larry and started first time, no lights, bells or whistles, just a happy cold morning burble from the exhaust and a rattle of all the "spare" screws left over in the ash tray. Turns out it had shat itself because it the gear stick position didn't correlate with it's last known memory of the position. This wasn't the first or last time its behaviour was on a par with my ex wife, and I didn't really know what I was doing with her either.
None of this fixed the satnav screen problem. It turned out that the second screen was FUBARed as well. A third screen (£40 and 4, well, 3, screws) sorted that.
I got a guaranteed but 2nd hand head unit, correctly coded to the car and proceeded to fit it. After disconnecting the battery I stripped out the centre console only to find that the head unit wouldn't come out while the gearstick was in Park. I went to put the key in the ignition to realise they were in the boot, which was shut. The boot release in the cabin and the latch wouldn't work as there was no power to the central locking, and I only had one key, so couldnt use the manual lock on the bootlid. I proceeded to remove the back seat to get to the ski bag hole blanking plate in the hope I could get into the boot to find the keys and or reconnect the battery. How I was going to do this I do not know, being only an amateur mechanic my arms only have the standard shoulder, elbow and wrist joint but it was a Saturday afternoon, I had a hot date and I was desperate. After cracking my head on something for the third time and bits of rear seat all over the drive getting rained on I decided it was time to see what Google has to say. Fortunately I had a jump pack that wasn't in the boot so was able to power the car from the jump start points and enter the boot. Yes I didnt know that before but I do know and teh jump pack now lives under the drivers seat.
Fitting the head unit was a doddle after that, no different to fitting stereos back in the day. Reconnect battery, ignition on, gear stick into park, battery off, swop head unit, battery on, ignition on to confirm that it's fixed, FLASHING RED LIGHTS EVERYWHERE and gongs out of every speaker. The big red cog one and everything. Reader I thought I'd bricked the car and that what on Friday evening had been a five grand luxury V8 barge was now a lump of scrap, which I didn't have the cash to replace.
After another brew and a calm down, I disconnected the battery and put the gear stick back in park. Let the car settle down overnight and went back to it in the morning. It was happy as larry and started first time, no lights, bells or whistles, just a happy cold morning burble from the exhaust and a rattle of all the "spare" screws left over in the ash tray. Turns out it had shat itself because it the gear stick position didn't correlate with it's last known memory of the position. This wasn't the first or last time its behaviour was on a par with my ex wife, and I didn't really know what I was doing with her either.
None of this fixed the satnav screen problem. It turned out that the second screen was FUBARed as well. A third screen (£40 and 4, well, 3, screws) sorted that.
I had to rescue my wife with a flat and we swapped car at the road side. I left the locking wheel nut in place and drove away to get a new tyre. Much buggering about followed borrowing a set of keys from VW and then having to get some plain bolts.
I dropped a 8mm ring spanner down the central core of a Hawk engine. It was like Big Ben on a run up to the hour as it bounced of every ring on the way down. Luckily no damage as the fixed blades were out.
I dropped a 8mm ring spanner down the central core of a Hawk engine. It was like Big Ben on a run up to the hour as it bounced of every ring on the way down. Luckily no damage as the fixed blades were out.
BMW E30 central locking modules are prone to failing because they live in the DS foot well panel and water can get in from the dodgy door rubbers. Mine was knackerd so I bought a replacement and had just finished fitting it but hadn't refitted all rubbers and panels when the skies opened and a monsoon happened. I closed the door but could hear the central locking, now working at last, but on and off hundreds of times a second before it fried all the door locks. One step forwards (for a few seconds) several steps back.
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