The worst book you have ever read.

[captain_cynic]

1. Anything by Dan Brown. Utterly unconvincing claptrap designed for mass market appeal (and I like Tom Clancy, Dan Brown is just vomit on a typewriter).

2. Ancillary Justice by Anne Lecke. One of the few books I couldn't finish. I found the entire thing too contrived, the attempt to keep mystery in the novel just ended up annoying me. Put it down when a shipment of Neil Asher novels arrived and I haven't gone back.

3. Honor Harrington series by David Webber. Described as "C.S. Forester in space", reality is that the entire plot device is broken to make naval combat seem a good idea in space. It was a well written book (On Basilisk Station) but the idea of a space ship needing to do broadsides was far too convoluted and destroyed the suspension of disbelief for me.

Honourable mention, Zoe's Tale by John Scalzi. Loved the Old Mans War series, but John is a middle aged man and he tried writing a book from the perspective of a teenage girl... it got quite cringe worthy at parts. Remove that and it was a good novel.

[King Herald]

The Crack Fox said:

otherman said:

I think it's time we lowered the tone a bit, because there are some classics in this thread so far. Check this out;

Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs: (She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a wehouse) by Paul Carter

Widely well reviewed by reading age 4 amazon reviewers, but check the one star reviews to get the real situation. As one person put it; one star is too many.

I found it most entertaining, actually!

Having worked offshore for 23 years I found it hilariously familiar. I could relate to so many places and situations he wrote about, and it is not a work of fiction or exaggeration, by any means. He’s written a couple more books too.

[paua]

Maxwell by Joe Haines - endlessly fawning & sycophantic, an exercise in arse kissing.

[jjohnson23]

Most of the modern Haynes tomes,I find many of them very confusing and bear little relation to reality.
The older ones were a lot better read,simpler times perhaps!

[Voldemort]

captain_cynic said:

1. Anything by Dan Brown. Utterly unconvincing claptrap designed for mass market appeal (and I like Tom Clancy, Dan Brown is just vomit on a typewriter).

Why would you read all his books if they are 'claptrap'? And, if you haven't read all of his books, why would you condemn them all?

[King Herald]

Voldemort said:

captain_cynic said:

1. Anything by Dan Brown. Utterly unconvincing claptrap designed for mass market appeal (and I like Tom Clancy, Dan Brown is just vomit on a typewriter).

Why would you read all his books if they are 'claptrap'? And, if you haven't read all of his books, why would you condemn them all?

I do believe it was a Dan Brown book that I threw across the room in utter frustration because of a pish poor retarded ending. Think it was Da Vinci Code, such a promising book, loads of interesting stuff in the middle.......but the end was total garbage cop out.

Never picked one up since.

[tertius]

King Herald said:

Voldemort said:

captain_cynic said:

1. Anything by Dan Brown. Utterly unconvincing claptrap designed for mass market appeal (and I like Tom Clancy, Dan Brown is just vomit on a typewriter).

Why would you read all his books if they are 'claptrap'? And, if you haven't read all of his books, why would you condemn them all?

I do believe it was a Dan Brown book that I threw across the room in utter frustration because of a pish poor retarded ending. Think it was Da Vinci Code, such a promising book, loads of interesting stuff in the middle.......but the end was total garbage cop out.

Never picked one up since.

Also don't confuse Dan Brown with Daniel J Brown, author of Boys in the Boat (amongst others)

Boys in the Boat is fantastic.

[droopsnoot]

I've only read two Dan Brown books - Da Vinci Code was better than Digital Fortress, but that's because I worked in IT at the time and there was some of the usual pseudo-technical rubbish that made no sense in the latter.

[RHVW]

- The Bible.

[captain_cynic]

Voldemort said:

Why would you read all his books if they are 'claptrap'? And, if you haven't read all of his books, why would you condemn them all?

I've tried reading two. Digital Fortress back in the 90's and The Da Vinci code in 2012. Both were terrible, I couldn't even finish The Da Vinci Code because it was so bad.

At least Digital Fortress had the defence of being written in the 80's when the knowledge of computing wasn't common.

And I'm hardly elitist either, I liked Michael Crichton's novels (the Andromeda Strain, even though it was more fiction than science).

[NAS]

PurpleAki said:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

The hype would suggest it was the second coming, the reality is that I used it for kindling, because I refused to even have it on my bookshelf.

My first thought too. Bloody horrible.

Edit : second and third thought were On the Road and Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Both utter crap.

Edited by NAS on Friday 2nd February 11:01

[Nom de ploom]

I must admit as much as I love lord of the rings and the hobbit - The Silmarilian is garbage by comparison imho.

[ATG]

"Understanding the Present" by Brian Appleyard. I was given it in my teens. I don't think I have ever been reduced to shouting at a book before or since.

And as has already been said, Dan (F) Brown. Stupid plots aren't the end of the world. Ignorance and fking awful prose, however, are. His staggeringly crass portrayal of his European characters makes Woody Allen look like a social anthropologist. Which is an achievement, because Woody Allen's characterisation is mostly smug, lazy and staggeringly crass too.

[Europa1]

King Herald said:

I do believe it was a Dan Brown book that I threw across the room in utter frustration because of a pish poor retarded ending. Think it was Da Vinci Code, such a promising book, loads of interesting stuff in the middle.......but the end was total garbage cop out.

Never picked one up since.

Yep, the ending of The Da Vinci Code did feel like he'd run out of steam and was in a rush to finish it.

[King Herald]

Europa1 said:

Yep, the ending of The Da Vinci Code did feel like he'd run out of steam and was in a rush to finish it.

I remember some fascinating writing early in the book, about religion, history, numbers, something scientific in Paris...... then came that crappy stty ending......

[spikeyhead]

Nom de ploom said:

I must admit as much as I love lord of the rings and the hobbit - The Silmarilian is garbage by comparison imho.

The Silmarillian is a book for adults, LOTR for teenagers and the Hobbit for children. The Silmarillian is by far the best book, but also the most difficult to get through

[Roberty]

RHVW said:

- The Bible.

Amen to that!

[Einion Yrth]

spikeyhead said:

Nom de ploom said:

I must admit as much as I love lord of the rings and the hobbit - The Silmarilian is garbage by comparison imho.

The Silmarillian is a book for adults, LOTR for teenagers and the Hobbit for children. The Silmarillian is by far the best book, but also the most difficult to get through

Silmarillion. It's really just a load of Tolkien's world-building notes assembled into some sort of order by his son after John died. Interesting as a window into Tolkien's mythos, but hardly a work of literature, good or bad.

[Halmyre]

Einion Yrth said:

spikeyhead said:

Nom de ploom said:

I must admit as much as I love lord of the rings and the hobbit - The Silmarilian is garbage by comparison imho.

The Silmarillian is a book for adults, LOTR for teenagers and the Hobbit for children. The Silmarillian is by far the best book, but also the most difficult to get through

Silmarillion. It's really just a load of Tolkien's world-building notes assembled into some sort of order by his son after John died. Interesting as a window into Tolkien's mythos, but hardly a work of literature, good or bad.

Silmarillion is pretty grim; the Elves build up all these splendid kingdoms which over time are gradually worn down and wrecked by the bad guy. Although the Elves in question are renegades who've gone on a revenge mission. Ain't hubris a bh?

[bloomen]

The Last Ship by someone. The TV series was based on it. I've never read a professionally published book that was that excruciatingly overwritten. I gave up after a few hours of total befuddlement.