Want to increase your bhp/ton

Want to increase your bhp/ton

Author
Discussion

225

Original Poster:

1,331 posts

225 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=714

Damn my lack of rear seats

PS
SORRY IF REPOST.

King Herald

23,501 posts

215 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
225 said:
www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=714

Damn my lack of rear seats

PS
SORRY IF REPOST.


Bwaaahaahaaaaa, Heeeheeheee


Tell me it was a wind up!!!!

"I agree with your point, but the car is a little quicker than the standard SXi and so I felt the SRi badges were appropriate. It only carries 1 person, Me. It has no extra weight in the car, all glove compartments, cubby holes and the boot is empty. The rear exhaust may or may not add power. It has only ever run on Optimax, I know you get more boost out if this fuel on bigger engined cars but every little helps. The tyres are always inflated to 38 PSI to give extra grip and less tyre slouch. Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice). I regularly drive with around £10 of fuel, again weight saving, and often I use engine cleaner in the fuel load to remove debris from the fuel injectors. The car is always clean improving aerodynamic progress. I have timed the 0 - 60 at 9.3 seconds, and this shaves a couple of seconds off the standard time. Hope this answers your question"

bob_defly

3,645 posts

230 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all


"The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared. "



>> Edited by bob_defly on Tuesday 23 May 23:07

Raify

6,552 posts

247 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
Oh dear God.

muppet said:
The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared.


I don't think this guy passed GCSE physics!

aeroluke

85 posts

218 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
on the pics... got his foglights on too... doesn't look very foggy!

groomi

9,317 posts

242 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
Raify said:
Oh dear God.

muppet said:
The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared.


I don't think this guy passed GCSE physics!


Probably couldn't get beyond the plane/conveyor belt module.

victormeldrew

8,293 posts

276 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
Oh jeez, I can't get my breath!

He forgot one vital mod though - tuck your socks in. Reduces wind resistance as the air moved from the front of the car to the rear under acceleration.

bermyandy

2,050 posts

217 months

Tuesday 23rd May 2006
quotequote all
muppet said:
My aim was to spruce up the car without making it look faster than it was, and also without losing its Vauxhall Heritage.



Vauxhall heritage!?!?!??!

Polarbert

17,923 posts

230 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
Thats soooo funny!

What an idiot.

Polarbert

17,923 posts

230 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
'Its not a VXR but its not far off.'

Nic Jones

7,045 posts

219 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
lmfao

You couldnt make it up could you?

King Herald

23,501 posts

215 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
Nic Jones said:
lmfao

You couldnt make it up could you?

I like the bit where you can reduce your weight if you spread yourself out like you do on thin ice. So folding the rear seats flat does the same

Where is that guy coming from? Mars??

orgasmicliving!!

5,964 posts

219 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
Hahahahah! Omfg, I just snorted coffee all over my keyboard. What a scream! And he's so earnest, too.

In tears.

puffpuff

20,915 posts

225 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
I think this proves something I've suspected for some time, the existence of a parallel universe inhabited by total tossers.

nightdriver

1,080 posts

225 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
Always wondered why the car went quicker driving back from the tip......

What a plank!

alexkp

16,484 posts

243 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
You simply wouldn't believe it unless you had read it would you?

My initial thoughts were that it was a wind-up, but clearly it is not.


Apart from all the utter idiocy he is spouting, I particularly enjoyed the assertion that emptying the glove box, clearing the boot, pumping up the tyres, putting an SRi badge on it and folding the rear seats flat could shave two whole seconds off the 0-60 time.

Right. I am going to clear out my boot of all the crap I cart about, empty the ashtray (sweet wrappers only, but they must addsome weight), reduce the amount of windscreen cleaner in the resovoir (again, unnescessary weight), pump up my tyres to the point of exploding, take the CD cartridge out of the Multiplayer (again, a costly extravagance weight wise), remove my sunglasses from their little overhead holder, and get rid of those incredibly substantial floor mats.

Oh, and to further save weight I shall now drive everywhere naked. Clothes are a heavy extravagance.

I confidently expect my S-Type R to now do the 0-60 sprint in around 3 seconds.

Saabyfox

2,220 posts

218 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
What a numpty.
All that effort into "improving" his car, or building from scratch as he puts it ( strange it looks like every other tossing corsa on the road ) and despite his weight saving ethics, it looks to me like he has steel wheels and hubcaps on the car...

Darwin is shuddering as we speak.

r5gttgaz

7,897 posts

219 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
On the M3 I have unbolted the rear seat and laid it flat, dropped the glove box down so its weight is spread out over a greater area, folded the passenger seat down and tipped the ashtrays horizontal. I now expect at least a 10 second reduction in lap times.

atl

76 posts

230 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
You just better hope you are never stopped by this complete half-wit, he's a police officer!

GTWayne

4,595 posts

216 months

Wednesday 24th May 2006
quotequote all
Figures.