What's the best/worst car related fib you've ever heard?

[KieronGsi]

Colonial said:

sniff diesel said:

Colonial said:

Friends brother has an ealy 90s Nissan Pulsar (Almera) 1.6...

Wasn't the Pulsar called the Sunny over here not Almera?

Quite possibly.

Crap car either way.

Not that crap if you got the Pulsar GTi-R. 227bhp turbo charged 4wd with more power easily accessible they were quite good, and they would make a cjeap tracl sg these days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GTI-R

[Colonial]

Quite a few are on the market in Australia. Jap imports. Not a bad car to drive, but not particulary amazing. The Sr20 in that version can be an absolute dog, and the strength of the gearbox is only just above the Mazda Familia GTX

I was talking about 1.6l models only. Just a nothing fwd hatch.

[pits]

planetdave said:

minimatt1967 said:

crackthatoff said:

my mate insists he 'had the milk float sideways around the roundabout' he must have learned to drift in his 1.1 Ax

Perhaps he had a bomb on board in a speed stylee

That milk float one could be true - I drove electric tugs around an airport for years and the torque can make them tail happy in the wet (high pressure tyres and rubbish suspension 'helps' - that and trying really hard ).

I would hazard a guess you say airport and tugs, which would mean textron vehicles? like the cushman tugs and titans and the ezgo buggies, done alot of work with them and you cant get the back end out in the wet, hell i cant even get them to light up the rear wheels in the wet, they arent designed for it they spin that slowly with that much power its near on impossible to get them sideways. However ezgo buggy in the snow and ice, which only has rear brakes on the foot pedal, now them things will slide...but not tugs, yes they have a lot of low down grunt, but they set off far to slowly to spin the wheels.
Although my mate was on the build team for the worlds fastest milkfloat the VXL, used to work for the company that built it...now that would go sideways, would also go alot faster if built properly


Oh and can someone please put some info up for my mate, who has just fitted an electric supercharger to his XR3i and is convinced it works

Edited by pits on Friday 5th December 01:25

[iluvmercs]

Without flicking through 23 pages, I'll assume a remapped 335 diesel has already been mentioned!

Anyway, my story. I was introduced to this friend of a friend who claimed that by just purely chipping his Civic, he gained an extra 100bhp. He claims 0-60, for his 2-generation-old, normally aspirtated Civic, is something stupid like 3 secs.
He didn't realise I'm a bit of a car nut...I just bit my tongue and nodded politely, all the while thinking "What a dick"

Then there was a chap with a Mercedes 190E, who reckoned that by switching the gearbox from "Economy" to "Sport" gave him an extra 100bhp (I dunno what is it about 100bhp exaggerations!). He then preceeded to ask what car I drive. When I told him I drive a W124, with same style of 80s/90s 4-speed gearbox, he looked a little embarressed. I think he realised he'd been caught out.

Darren

[AL...Ease]

I used to work with someone who was convinced that his 2.2 Vauxhall Sintra would do 140... and keep on going!

This is after it'd easily beat my old Rover 600.

[GravelBen]

Colonial said:

I was talking about 1.6l models only. Just a nothing fwd hatch.

Some of the mid-late 90s Pulsar/Almera/Lucino/etc had the SR16VE in them which is a nice little motor - revvy wee 175bhp lump, or 200bhp (and 8600rpm) in Nismo N1 tune for the special editions

ETA: I realise thats not the one you're talking about, just thought I'd mention they're not all crap.

Edited by GravelBen on Friday 5th December 04:24

[Colonial]

GravelBen said:

Colonial said:

I was talking about 1.6l models only. Just a nothing fwd hatch.

Some of the mid-late 90s Pulsar/Almera/Lucino/etc had the SR16VE in them which is a nice little motor - revvy wee 175bhp lump, or 200bhp (and 8600rpm) in Nismo N1 tune for the special editions

ETA: I realise thats not the one you're talking about, just thought I'd mention they're not all crap.

Edited by GravelBen on Friday 5th December 04:24

In NZ maybe. We only ever got the boggo 1.6. I know the one you mean though. Tough little engine.

Damm you kiwis and your affordable jap imports.

[GravelBen]

Well AFAIK that motor was JDM only but yeah theres a few of them floating round. Any Pulsar/Lucino with a VZ-R badge on it is generally SR16VE, the GT version had an SR18DE which is torquier but without the same top end.


I saw a price list for imported jap engines in an aussie mag the other day actually and couldn't believe how much thye cost over there, something like $2-3k for a 1UZ iirc. Can get them here for more like $500-1k.

[Colonial]

GravelBen said:

Well AFAIK that motor was JDM only but yeah theres a few of them floating round. Any Pulsar/Lucino with a VZ-R badge on it is generally SR16VE, the GT version had an SR18DE which is torquier but without the same top end.


I saw a price list for imported jap engines in an aussie mag the other day actually and couldn't believe how much thye cost over there, something like $2-3k for a 1UZ iirc. Can get them here for more like $500-1k.

Even an SR20DET, which isn't an amazing engine by any means, goes for stupid money.

The government got so scared about the uncompetitive Australian car industry they had to stop the used japanese import market. Which really sucks.

[Jasandjules]

AdvocatusDiaboli said:

We all tell the odd white lie here and there! After all, one can't be seen to have a slower car than one's mate now can we?

It's accepted practice to exaggerate your bhp or other bits to those who aren't any the wiser, but sometimes you hear an absolute clanger.

Something so ridiculous that it is only your manners that prevent you from laughing in the guy's face and then calling him a unconvincing t**t.

I invite your stories! Should make a good read.

Oddly, a now ex friend of mine (you can only take so much s****e) when he saw my Chimaera explained his mate had a ford escort with 600bhp and 0-60 in 4 seconds....

He never had anything flash himself, but always had a mate with something bigger and better (never worked out what that was all about).

[_g_]

Seen plenty of transit-based milk floats around here (haven't seen an electric one in ages).
On SWB TD transit I could do doughnuts in first and second gear in the dry and get it sideways on roundabouts a bit too easily in the damp if there was nothing in the back. Doughnuts did take a bit of trying as no LSD (or so I presume) meant you had to get both wheels spinning decently at the same time.

[pits]

_g_ said:

Seen plenty of transit-based milk floats around here (haven't seen an electric one in ages).
On SWB TD transit I could do doughnuts in first and second gear in the dry and get it sideways on roundabouts a bit too easily in the damp if there was nothing in the back. Doughnuts did take a bit of trying as no LSD (or so I presume) meant you had to get both wheels spinning decently at the same time.

I saw a transit milkfloat once up in the valleys, basically consisted of getting a swb transit and cutting the sides of, just behind door pillar, under the roof pillar, above the wheel arches, and then down infront of the rear pillar...so basically chopped the sides out, but wanted to keep the roof and rear doors for some unknown reason, I almost crashed when i saw it, it was also going sideways, not sliding but the frame work that was left, was

[Mr E]

Colonial said:

Quite a few are on the market in Australia. Jap imports. Not a bad car to drive, but not particulary amazing. The Sr20 in that version can be an absolute dog, and the strength of the gearbox is only just above the Mazda Familia GTX

Yah. GT-R is a great little rocket, but the stock gearbox and brakes just aren't up for the party.

[planetdave]

pits said:

planetdave said:

minimatt1967 said:

crackthatoff said:

my mate insists he 'had the milk float sideways around the roundabout' he must have learned to drift in his 1.1 Ax

Perhaps he had a bomb on board in a speed stylee

That milk float one could be true - I drove electric tugs around an airport for years and the torque can make them tail happy in the wet (high pressure tyres and rubbish suspension 'helps' - that and trying really hard ).

I would hazard a guess you say airport and tugs, which would mean textron vehicles? like the cushman tugs and titans and the ezgo buggies, done alot of work with them and you cant get the back end out in the wet, hell i cant even get them to light up the rear wheels in the wet, they arent designed for it they spin that slowly with that much power its near on impossible to get them sideways. However ezgo buggy in the snow and ice, which only has rear brakes on the foot pedal, now them things will slide...but not tugs, yes they have a lot of low down grunt, but they set off far to slowly to spin the wheels.
Although my mate was on the build team for the worlds fastest milkfloat the VXL, used to work for the company that built it...now that would go sideways, would also go alot faster if built properly


Oh and can someone please put some info up for my mate, who has just fitted an electric supercharger to his XR3i and is convinced it works

Edited by pits on Friday 5th December 01:25

Sorry to contradict your infinite knowledge...have had several manufacturers tugs oversteer (under severe provocation) eg Bradshaw and Lansing.

Thanks for doubting my word.

[Defcon5]

I was once informed that a 1.0 Micra could keep up with a friends Fez ST 'til 4th gear'.

We declined the offer to test it out.

[mybrainhurts]

Come and look at my Fiat 600...I've fitted a twin choke Weber and it goes like a bomb...

[Celt]

Not been told to me but was watching The Garage on Dicscovery Turbo and a guy brought in his M3 convertible only to find out that 1) it was a piece of st and 2) it was a 1.8!

Surely if you spend any decent amount of money on a car like an M3 you should have some knowledge of what to look for and be able to notice a 3 series with M3 bumpers and skirts.

[Mitch2.0]

I was chatting to a young lad about a nova redtop, who claimed he was doing 150mph and it didn't have any left, so he dropped it into 4th and 'went a bit faster' - I just shook my head and said the most I ever got out of my F20 box in 4th was 120mph, and 145 top end in 5th. I also felt like explaining 5th was actually a longer ratio than 4th, hence the number, and that other than mechanically over reving the engine to about 9,000rpm it would do little to increase your speed, it would in fact decrease it, but I thought best not.

I also remember chatting to a girl at my work - she had a Pug 206 GTi 180 a few years ago - honestly, one of these people who thought her car was the absolute cheese. I said my brother has the new Focus ST... bloody hell she nearly bit my head off - "Yeah I raced loads of those and always one" - hmm interesting - the Focus ST is pretty rare and came about right about the same time you sold your 180, so I doubt you raced 'loads' - and considering it's a faster car at any speed I also doubt you 'won'.

People - morons unless they prove themselves otherwise.

[Niffty951]

I recently heard a guy with a TVR Cerbera say it would do 0-60 in 2.5 secs. Now the Cerbera is a lovely car and there really was no need for a lie like that but since the majority of Cerb's I've been in would struggle to break the 5sec 0-60 barrier if timed (not tested but I'm confident of it) it wasn't the best aspect to choose!

[Stack]

The worst fib's I heard from a pub bore were as follows...

"Sebastien Loeb the Finnish Rally driver will be racing in F1 next year because his co-driver was recently killed in a rally & he cant get another one "

also

Velentino Rossi is only good because he used a different shaped brake lever to the other riders...!