What has your "friend" been up to?

What has your "friend" been up to?

Author
Discussion

Daniel1

2,931 posts

197 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Locke said:
My friend on his bike raced an Audi RS6 on a section of a NSL that he was unfamiliar with and ended up in a holy bush (hallelujah!).

He needed a few parts to fix up his bike including a mud gaurd which he got sparayed at the local body shop, however the same day he got it, it got blown of a bench whilst he was trying to fit it and rolled down his drive about 5 metres and needed spraying again.
EFA tongue out

snowdude2910

754 posts

163 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My friend was too lazy to pull his car forwards properly to put the dog in the boot so deemed it a better option to just poke the starter button in 3rd for it to jump forwards a foot, not at all expecting for his car to start faster then it has ever started before and go off like a rocket through his neighbours 4ft wall doh!!!

simoid

19,772 posts

157 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Locke said:
...and ended up in a holy bush (thankfully).
Indeed, praise the Lord!

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Gosh, what naughty "friends" you all have.

My "friend" shrugged his shoulders when asked why his almost new Rover 216 Vitesse had popped a cylinder, and had it repaired under warranty, somehow omitting to mention the redlining the nuts off it when changing from fifth to second through incompetence whilst making forward progress on the unbecamera'd A9, at what passed in those far off days for a semi-leptonic velocity.

Gizmo!

18,150 posts

208 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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mike88 said:
Gizmo! said:
Your friend is clearly a tosser of the first order.
You bought it didnt you hehe
Mike. Michael. Mikey.

I'd already posted on the thread. Whether it was his friend or "his friend", the person in question is still a paid up subscriber to Onanism Daily.

Lefty

16,131 posts

201 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Locke said:
...and ended up in a holy bush (thankfully).
Nuns don't shave?


anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Depends on which websites you (sorry your "friend") look/s at.

hostyle

1,322 posts

215 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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A "friend" of mine got a € 125,- speeding ticket the first day he got his first car. He stupidly tried to follow a motorcylce of wich he wanted to know what bike it was.

Samen "friend" also ran a red light... by using the bus lane on the left and passing two lanes of stationary traffic because he had to hand in schoolwork at'a certain time. All within a city centre in his mums car. Oops. Said friend was shacking like a leaf for a long time afterwards. When doing it, he said it almost felt as a 'computer game'. Only when he pulled through and thought it through he realized what an ass he was. ...Especially since his teacher was his neighbour and he could have just popped his essay through his mailbox. rolleyes

StottyZr

6,860 posts

162 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My friend was once pratting around in the back of another friends car whilst he drove up an unlit dual carriageway. A 4x4 with nice bright xenon's sat on the rear bumper of said friends car (106 so low and the lights lit up the entire car) the 4x4 then flashed his lights. Friend in the back of the car got mad and spun around to show his distaste to the 4x4s actions by holding up his middle finger.

At the top of the dual carriageway street lights were present, and displayed in all its glory a fully marked up police Range Rover Sport. Needless to say said friend was pulled and the friend in the rear seat was hit with a £60 fine for no seatbelt. (apparently police flashed his lights to check if the "friend" was wearing a seatbelt.

carl carlson

786 posts

161 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My "friend" got a summer job at a car dealership as a valeter. On his first day he had to valet a 106. My friend jumped in this 106 and with no mechanical sympathy drove round to the wash bay only to find his work collegue had a volvo estate in there. It took 2days for the sales manager to clam down.

This same "friend" while working as a valeter at another dealership crashed a brand new 963 Turbo into the workshop door by jumping out of it to open workshop door and forgeting to put the handbrake on.

A "mate" had a 1.3 Nova SR and decided to race someone in a 205GTI 1.9 down roads I knew , i mean he knew reasonably well. Unfortuntaley he forgot about the 90 degree left hander that also rose and dipped. Said Nova 1.3 SR didn't make it. He was in front of the 205 though so this kind of counts as WIN.


I am sure my "friend" has done lots of other silly stuff.




Marlin45

1,327 posts

163 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My 'friend' used to regularly race side by side with other young chavs at 120mph on the local roads around Southampton.

Same mate tried jumping the local humpback bridges at 70mph. We had to kick the doors open after landing as the car was now more akin to a banana. PX'd it the next week (salesman must have been blind?).

Also 'know' another who drove an old Discovery through the door of garage after forgetting he had disabled the brakes (long story) whistle

Edited by Marlin45 on Wednesday 25th May 16:00

Silver

4,372 posts

225 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My friend was trying to reverse an unfamiliar car which she was only delivering to someone else into a parking space and bumped the wall fairly hard.

She has also used bathroom sealant in place of a rocker cover gasket after being unable to procure the real item. She also decided newspaper was an appropriate base for bodywork filler and Hammerite an appropriate paint for wheels. She has been known to visit the skip outside the local tyre and exhaust place to acquire new tyres rather than buy them.

She may have also let a scrapyard believe the car she dropped off was a runner to get more money for it.

She once got into a shouting match with a road worker holding a Stop/Go sign with the word Stop facing towards her because she was late for work. Oh, and she called a skip lorry driver a to his face because he didn't give way when he should have done.

She can be a bit dopey sometimes.

mk1matt

405 posts

164 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My "friend" has:

Despite having previously performed engine swaps and pretty major mechanical work, somehow managed to get confused doing an oil change on a Passat B5 1.8T. He drained the gearbox oil and added another 5 litres (ish) to the engine. He then drove it about 15 miles before hearing a whining noise from the gearbox. He then sorted the problem and filled the gearbox with really thick oil and sold the car to a Bulgarian who wanted it for export.

He also managed to tune out the (pretty loud) parking sensors on his wife's Galaxy and reverse (very slowly luckily) into the towbar of the car behind.

He recently reversed the same Galaxy with the driver's door open (in order to better see the kerb). Whilst he saw the kerb, he somehow missed the massive yellow painted concrete bollard just behind the lower corner of the driver's door. He's yet to bend that bit of the door straight.

My "friend" has no doubt lapsed into stupidity more times that he can immediately remember...the idiot.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My “friend” was driving down a lonely and narrow Scottish road in fog, at night, and decided that he was going the wrong way. In the course of turning around he got his rear wheels hopelessly stuck in a roadside ditch, leaving the car stuck at ninety degrees across the road. Luckily he was saved by two dudes in a camper van who turned up a little while later.

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My friend has been explaining to his OH why she is hopeless at reversing, as he scraped the rear wheel arch off a bollard he didn't see because he was a bit busy gloating (his OH had twice in the last week hit stationary ojects - a lamppost and a bollard)...

gtidriver

3,335 posts

186 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My"friend" reversed into a freshly built wall that wasn't there the previous week, the friend knocked about 3/4 of the wall.

Silver

4,372 posts

225 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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I think some of the 'friends' in this thread should be very wary of posting on the numerous threads about how rubbish their OHs are at driving. laugh

carlove

7,539 posts

166 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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A few years ago my "friend" crashed into his neighbours brand new BMW.

Angry Sheep

1,120 posts

209 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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Friend of mine managed to get his mum's Land Rover stuck a few days after passing his test after muttering "watch this" to his mates and driving down a muddy track. He had to be towed out by a tractor. He then limped to a car park where he scraped the mud off and phoned his parents to explain how the clutch had suddenly given up while driving along an A-road.

He also managed to balance said Land Rover on three wheels when accidentally backing up a very steep bank when getting out of someone's way on a single track road.

This friend is now a bit older and a bit more careful.

zollburgers

1,278 posts

182 months

Wednesday 25th May 2011
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My friend was always the sensible one and I was always the complete nob. Anyway we were in his car not long after he passed his test and came upon a supermarket trolley on a deserted road.

I was egging my friend on to push the trolley along with the car but my friend, being very sensible and mature for his age at the time, refused. We eventually agreed to a compromise of a fk off big handbrake turn at the next corner.

We arrived at the corner and my friend ripped the handbrake up at around 40mph. I think we were both expecting rally type things to happen and I must admit even I was surprised when we lurched violently to the left and then suddenly stopped with a very loud noise. And then there was complete silence. Once the dust had cleared we realised what had happened.

The car had mounted the kerb and smacked into a very substantial fence surrounding a petrol station, partly demolishing it, and had impaled itself on it, with both wheels about a metre up in the air.

My friend calmly decided to walk to my other friends house to persuade him to tow his car off the fence and he took along the (unopened) beer that was in the car as it would have looked a bit dodgy being at the scene. In hindsight, walking away from a crashed car with no obvious reason why it had crashed with 2 bags full of beer was probably not the smartest thing to do. Especially as a little audience had started to gather outside the pub that was just down the road. Apparently I had a bit of explaining to do to the people that did approach the car and accused my friend of being a drunk.

Anyway my other friend dragged my friends car off the fence and I got back in it and he nursed it back to his house. We weren't going to let this spoil our evening and so being responsible 17 year olds we all began to get wkered.

At around 10:30pm my friends brother rang to inform him that the police were at his parent's house looking for a suspected drink driver that had fled the scene. My friend decided to stay at my other friends house as he was quite drunk by that time.

The police again called at my friends house the next day at 6:00am and told his brother that my friend had to report to the police station the following week. My friend went to the police station that day luckily to officially report the accident as he did not fancy waiting the 5 days.

Anyway, long story...eeerm shortish is that my friend went back to the station when required and was up for leaving the scene, failure to report, suspected drink driving and driving without due care and attention but managed to explain things under a taped interview by a cat running out (causing the swerving). The car being up on the fence for an hour or so meant that it was not leaving the scene and the petrol station being closed meant that there was nobody to report the accident to and it was duly reported within 24 hours.

My friend did learn a lot that day thankfully.