Make up your own special editions
Discussion
Shakermaker said:
Tesla Model S "Greta" edition
- Fully powered by clean, green electricity from renewable sources
- Entirely tax free, won't pay any congestion charge, clean air charge
- Entitled to free parking
- But won't actually be able to drive into a city centre as the auto pilot expects there to be protestors blocking the roads
- includes an arm that pats you on the back along with messages on the touch screen such as "well done for saving the environment".- Fully powered by clean, green electricity from renewable sources
- Entirely tax free, won't pay any congestion charge, clean air charge
- Entitled to free parking
- But won't actually be able to drive into a city centre as the auto pilot expects there to be protestors blocking the roads
- includes tubing from the back of the seat connected to a mask for easy fart huffing.
GAjon said:
Baaaz said:
- includes an arm that pats you on the back along with messages on the touch screen such as "well done for saving the environment".
- includes tubing from the back of the seat connected to a mask for easy fart huffing.
If you hit the horn it bellows out- includes tubing from the back of the seat connected to a mask for easy fart huffing.
“How dare you”
Lotus Elise 250 Mug
2 seconds faster round Hethel than the 250 Cup...
...which was 2 seconds faster than the 220 Cup, which was 2 seconds faster than the 220 SC, which was 2 seconds faster than the 111R, which was 2 seconds faster than the 111S, which was 2 seconds faster than the 135, which was 2 seconds faster than the 1.8.... Making a cumulative improvement of just over 3 hours per lap!
Adjustable motorsport rear wing with rear-visibility delete as standard. (Adds 10% more downforce at unobtainable speeds).
Pre-kerbed carbon splitter
Lightweight forged laptimes
Metallic interior
AP Racing brake calipers in clashing colours (tasteful/neutral colours not available)
50% more stickers
Revalved Ohlins with 20% less ride comfort at no extra cost
Alcantara stage 3 exhaust as standard (not for road use, nor compliant with any UK track noise limits)
Emergency tyre foam canister can also be used to inflate balloon payments
Enquire now, and you too could be enjoying exactly the same pleasures as a base spec Elise for only 3 times the price. Or just buy a bloody Exige for heaven's sake. It's 2 seconds faster round Hethel.
2 seconds faster round Hethel than the 250 Cup...
...which was 2 seconds faster than the 220 Cup, which was 2 seconds faster than the 220 SC, which was 2 seconds faster than the 111R, which was 2 seconds faster than the 111S, which was 2 seconds faster than the 135, which was 2 seconds faster than the 1.8.... Making a cumulative improvement of just over 3 hours per lap!
Adjustable motorsport rear wing with rear-visibility delete as standard. (Adds 10% more downforce at unobtainable speeds).
Pre-kerbed carbon splitter
Lightweight forged laptimes
Metallic interior
AP Racing brake calipers in clashing colours (tasteful/neutral colours not available)
50% more stickers
Revalved Ohlins with 20% less ride comfort at no extra cost
Alcantara stage 3 exhaust as standard (not for road use, nor compliant with any UK track noise limits)
Emergency tyre foam canister can also be used to inflate balloon payments
Enquire now, and you too could be enjoying exactly the same pleasures as a base spec Elise for only 3 times the price. Or just buy a bloody Exige for heaven's sake. It's 2 seconds faster round Hethel.
The Ford Focus "Vast Majority" Edition
- A manual gearbox because that's what the vast majority of people say that they want
- Automatic lights, because that's what the vast majority of people need
- Fast enough not to be a dawdler but restrained enough to not lose your licence
- All the inputs for your phone to play music and make calls
- Looks good enough that your neighbours won't think you're a sexual deviant, but not so flash that they think you're a drug dealer, acceptable for both the office car park, golf club and parking on your driveway, because that's what the vast majority care about
- All service items are available immediately at your local Kwik Fit or other branded high street garage once the warranty has expired because that's all the vast majority are concerned with
- A manual gearbox because that's what the vast majority of people say that they want
- Automatic lights, because that's what the vast majority of people need
- Fast enough not to be a dawdler but restrained enough to not lose your licence
- All the inputs for your phone to play music and make calls
- Looks good enough that your neighbours won't think you're a sexual deviant, but not so flash that they think you're a drug dealer, acceptable for both the office car park, golf club and parking on your driveway, because that's what the vast majority care about
- All service items are available immediately at your local Kwik Fit or other branded high street garage once the warranty has expired because that's all the vast majority are concerned with
Lamborghini Aventador "My Daddy owns an Oil Field in the middle east edition"
Gold Plated , Speed limited to 40mph because you won't ever go over that in London traffic.
Sat Nav only contains maps of Knightsbridge because you aren't going to drive it anywhere else.
Special "Super Car Spotter" Detection 360 degree cameras , with live updates telling you how many Instagram feeds your car appears on.
Am i doing this right?
Gold Plated , Speed limited to 40mph because you won't ever go over that in London traffic.
Sat Nav only contains maps of Knightsbridge because you aren't going to drive it anywhere else.
Special "Super Car Spotter" Detection 360 degree cameras , with live updates telling you how many Instagram feeds your car appears on.
Am i doing this right?
Edited by FIREBIRDC9 on Friday 8th November 15:33
FIREBIRDC9 said:
Lamborghini Aventador "My Daddy owns an Oil Field in the middle east edition"
Gold Plated , Speed limited to 40mph because you won't ever go over that in London traffic.
Sat Nav only contains maps of Knightsbridge because your aren't going to drive it anywhere else.
Special "Super Car Spotter" Detection 360 degree cameras , with live updates telling you how many Instagram feeds your car appears on.
Am i doing this right?
I'd say you've done it Gold Plated , Speed limited to 40mph because you won't ever go over that in London traffic.
Sat Nav only contains maps of Knightsbridge because your aren't going to drive it anywhere else.
Special "Super Car Spotter" Detection 360 degree cameras , with live updates telling you how many Instagram feeds your car appears on.
Am i doing this right?
VW Golf R "Birmingham" Special Edition
Specification as standard "R" but with weight reduction measures, including removal of all "R" specification body panels, interior and drivetrain. Delivered directly to a recreation ground or country park 7 miles from your house, doused in 5 litres of Shell V-power and a lit match applied.
Also available, "Greater Manchester" edition - spec as above but with two bullet holes in driver's door.
Specification as standard "R" but with weight reduction measures, including removal of all "R" specification body panels, interior and drivetrain. Delivered directly to a recreation ground or country park 7 miles from your house, doused in 5 litres of Shell V-power and a lit match applied.
Also available, "Greater Manchester" edition - spec as above but with two bullet holes in driver's door.
Lamborghini Urus Anus edition
Available only in bright colours only - to stand out - but strangely, look all the same.
Wipe down seats for dribbling owners
'I'm not a WAG' sticker pre-affixed to rear window
25" rims featuring new Pirelli rubber-band XLs specials.
Badge extender pack
'VW Group' - reference delete. For £1,999, we can remove all VW and Audi logos from parts.
Factory KAHN body kit as standard. Fibre glass and chicken wire.
U R U S A N U S letters on bonnet standard ala Range Rover
BO55 - plate for only £299 as an optional extra.
Built in TV - 2 channels, Babestation and ITV2.
Sat nav only covers Cheshire and West Yorkshire
Available only in bright colours only - to stand out - but strangely, look all the same.
Wipe down seats for dribbling owners
'I'm not a WAG' sticker pre-affixed to rear window
25" rims featuring new Pirelli rubber-band XLs specials.
Badge extender pack
'VW Group' - reference delete. For £1,999, we can remove all VW and Audi logos from parts.
Factory KAHN body kit as standard. Fibre glass and chicken wire.
U R U S A N U S letters on bonnet standard ala Range Rover
BO55 - plate for only £299 as an optional extra.
Built in TV - 2 channels, Babestation and ITV2.
Sat nav only covers Cheshire and West Yorkshire
Chevrolet Camaro Freedom Edition
- 7.4 litre iron block LSX, 454ci just sounds the best and aloominum is for the damn commies in Chinastan.
- Big supercharger, force feed the freedom.
- 4 speed mansmission, you don't need some libtard telling you when to change gears.
- Return to a live axle, it's the way god intended, IRS is for soft skinned queers who've never looked at their sister with a hungry eye.
- Factory fit T-tops, because you need room for your stetson, and to feel the winds of freedom through your mullet.
- Stars and stripes paint scheme with a "these colors don't run" banner being towed behind a bald eagle airbrushed down the side.
- CB radio, keep the damn man from listening in on your conversations and ideal for flirting with truckers.
- 15 inch wide rear tyres, 1.5inch wide front tyres, when you're really free, you don't need to change direction. Chrome wheels. Naturally.
- All imperial gauges.
- Gun rack on the dashboard, for defending your freedom.
- Split fold trunklid, because every vehicle needs a tailgate for breeding and / or drinking Bud light on.
- 6 preset country music stations to cater to every scenario
MX-5 'Tesco Car Park' edition:
Available in mk1 and mk2 versions.
Factory fitted with ultra-low ebay suspension.
8-inch wide Rota wheels with foot-wide spacers.
Pre-rolled arches complete with cracking paint and rust, covered by stickers.
Hawaiian flower necklace hung from rearview mirror.
Banner sticker covering top half of windscreen.
Extended gearknob that would make the seasoned manager of an Ann Summers blush.
Supplied with a modified vape capable of doubling as a 90s nightclub smoke machine.
Plastidip. Everywhere.
Available in mk1 and mk2 versions.
Factory fitted with ultra-low ebay suspension.
8-inch wide Rota wheels with foot-wide spacers.
Pre-rolled arches complete with cracking paint and rust, covered by stickers.
Hawaiian flower necklace hung from rearview mirror.
Banner sticker covering top half of windscreen.
Extended gearknob that would make the seasoned manager of an Ann Summers blush.
Supplied with a modified vape capable of doubling as a 90s nightclub smoke machine.
Plastidip. Everywhere.
Land Rover R edition:
R stands for reliable
With the special reliable edition you can expect;
Electrics will actually work
Car won’t go into limp mode for no reason at 70mph on the motorway
The owner won’t need to put by £1-2k emergency fund for ‘just in case’
The engine/gearbox won’t eat itself with no warning
Any problems will be acknowledged and fixed- not just ignored but magically fixed/improved for the next model
Etc etc etc
Being Land Rover this special R edition will cost you £100k but will be very limited because they can’t have too many happy customers
R stands for reliable
With the special reliable edition you can expect;
Electrics will actually work
Car won’t go into limp mode for no reason at 70mph on the motorway
The owner won’t need to put by £1-2k emergency fund for ‘just in case’
The engine/gearbox won’t eat itself with no warning
Any problems will be acknowledged and fixed- not just ignored but magically fixed/improved for the next model
Etc etc etc
Being Land Rover this special R edition will cost you £100k but will be very limited because they can’t have too many happy customers
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -
The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the f
k Up!
One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the f
k Up!One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
Deep Thought said:
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -
The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the fk Up!
One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
The Rick Astley special edition - Never Gonna give you Up!The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the f
k Up!One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
Deep Thought said:
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -
The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the fk Up!
One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
One for 17 y.o's who've just passed their test & tried to impress their girlfriend with a tug of the handbrake ….. the wrong way Up!The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the f
k Up!One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
Deep Thought said:
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -
The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the fk Up!
One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
One endorsed by the host of a TV panel show - The Fry Up!The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!
One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!
One marking the dieselgate scandal - the f
k Up!One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!
One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!
One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!
One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
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