Make up your own special editions

Make up your own special editions

Author
Discussion

Le-Mons

54 posts

48 months

Friday 8th November
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Thesprucegoose said:
The MX5 BGW edition

Comes from the factory already scraping its arse, paintwork finished with a brilo pad, and bolted on arches done by Stevie Wonder.

Then the BGW on the back.
Sounds like a variation on the Tesco!

PSRG

323 posts

73 months

Friday 8th November
quotequote all
Deep Thought said:
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -


One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
Like this...? This was a VW accessories graphic when bought a new Up! in 2012!!


csd19

886 posts

64 months

Friday 8th November
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TheDukeofBork said:
Deep Thought said:
There must be a range of Volkswagen Up! editions they could do -

The one that comes with a crate of beer in the boot - the Piss Up!

One with every panel a different colour - the Cock Up!

One marking the dieselgate scandal - the fk Up!

One for immature drivers - the Grow Up!

One for people who no longer care - the Give Up!

One celebrating 1980s pop musing - the Only Way is Up!

One for people who keep rolling their cars - This Way Up!
One endorsed by the host of a TV panel show - The Fry Up!
One for people who need a bit of blue-pill enhancement in the bedroom - The Can't Get It Up!

One for people who can't stop talking when in the car - The Shut The fk Up!

One celebrating a return to simpler mechanicals in a car - The Wind Up!

832ark

875 posts

103 months

Friday 8th November
quotequote all
EP3 Civic Type Retard

- Onboard vape juice burner - keeps the interior full of sickly smoke so thick you can barely see out of the windows.

- Driver’s window auto drops by 2 inches every 60 seconds to provide a taste of your aforementioned vape smoke to inferior cars behind.

- Broken eBay coilovers wound down for max lows.

- Engine pre run in on the rev limiter for the equivalent of 200k miles so it smokes like a bh in VTEC.

- All silencing removed from exhaust and 5 inch tailpipe fitted.

- Shod with the cheapest, hardest Chinese tyres money can buy.

- Massive track style tow hooks front and rear for recovery from the inevitable farmer’s field.


Edited by 832ark on Friday 8th November 20:12

cherryowen

9,158 posts

151 months

Friday 8th November
quotequote all
Rover 75 UX

Unexpectedly comes as standard with:

Jewish Racing Gold paintwork
Full leather upholstery
Walnut interior cappings
Rear folding picnic tables (with courtesy lighting)
335 section rear tyres
Dodge Hellcat V8
Top speed unlimited
4000W ICE system that only plays two tunes (Ride of the Valkyries / 1812 Overture) which also activate the auto-windows-open feature
Mini cannons in the front valance when playing the latter tune
Koni coilovers
SS Akrapovic exhaust system
Two Purdey shotguns with the toolkit
Silver plastic wheel covers




blade7

8,951 posts

163 months

Friday 8th November
quotequote all
The BMW 'M' badge edition.

A Winner Is You

20,880 posts

174 months

Friday 8th November
quotequote all
832ark said:
EP3 Civic Type Retard

- Onboard vape juice burner - keeps the interior full of sickly smoke so thick you can barely see out of the windows.

- Driver’s window auto drops by 2 inches every 60 seconds to provide a taste of your aforementioned vape smoke to inferior cars behind.

- Broken eBay coilovers wound down for max lows.

- Engine pre run in on the rev limiter for the equivalent of 200k miles so it smokes like a bh in VTEC.

- All silencing removed from exhaust and 5 inch tailpipe fitted.

- Shod with the cheapest, hardest Chinese tyres money can buy.

- Massive track style tow hooks front and rear for recovery from the inevitable farmer’s field.


Edited by 832ark on Friday 8th November 20:12
Also has special gearing where 30 mph is 8000rpm in 2nd gear, and a stereo that constantly plays tunes that Ali G would be embarrassed to listen to at full volume.

Coley88

2,839 posts

138 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
Honda Jazz Oap

With the unique driver aid option of opaque windows
which give the driver the ultimate ability to have no concept their surroundings.

hammo19

2,048 posts

143 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
Lada Riva Corbyn edition

Comrade red paint with CND vinyl decals
Hatton Garden pattern interior with ill fitting trimmed seats made from hand selected cuts of lecturers jackets with leather patches
Fixed 90 degree steering to enable constant circles and little progress
Digital speedo showing rate of borrowing increase and countdown to requiring a medical to continue driving
Diane Abbott air conditioning



Jim the Sunderer

2,174 posts

129 months

Saturday 9th November
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Jaguar Saloon UKIP limited edition;

12+ years old
Shiny st stuck on the wheel arches and doors, leaping cat eviscerater bolted to the bonnet and extra badges on the dash.

Bottle of Teacher's in the glovebox, the out of date sat nav won't show foreign restaurants except the local Chinese.

Extra shiny st available at no extra cost.

Two Slips and a Gully

687 posts

39 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
The Porsche 911 'Brain Wash' edition v911.3.8.4.5

Now as expensive as an Aston Martin.
But the same as the previous 911 but with slightly bigger wheels
which was the same as the one before but with worse steering
which was the same as the one before with the boxter headlights
that was still had the engine in the boot like one before in 90's that was like the ones before that and the one before that and the beetle.


S2r

206 posts

25 months

Saturday 9th November
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Coley88 said:
Honda Jazz Oap

With the unique driver aid option of opaque windows
which give the driver the ultimate ability to have no concept their surroundings.
Is this then one with the pre-wee-stained seats, tartan blanket and National Trust sticker pack?

thebigmacmoomin

2,279 posts

116 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
S2r said:
Coley88 said:
Honda Jazz Oap

With the unique driver aid option of opaque windows
which give the driver the ultimate ability to have no concept their surroundings.
Is this then one with the pre-wee-stained seats, tartan blanket and National Trust sticker pack?
That's a 5 shilling upgrade.

Jaguar steve

5,738 posts

157 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
Jaguar X Type UKIP 1959 Limited Edition.

Polished to death with chrome trims covering crusty arches and badly painted battle scars on the bumper corners. Illegal numberplate, interesting selection of Chinese tyres and a wonky second hand leaper from eBay nearly in the middle of the bonnet. Obligatory union jack cushions on the rear parcel shelf and the owners late dad's disabled driver permit upside down on the dash.

Usually spotted in the same local Toby Carvery car park in a tired seaside resort every lunchtime.


rallycross

10,393 posts

184 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
My Mrs (before we got married) thought my integra Dc2 was a Honda Imprezia

Justin Case

1,185 posts

81 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
S2r said:
Coley88 said:
Honda Jazz Oap

With the unique driver aid option of opaque windows
which give the driver the ultimate ability to have no concept their surroundings.
Is this then one with the pre-wee-stained seats, tartan blanket and National Trust sticker pack?
Or is it the one with the cruise control set at 41mph with no over-ride.

Also don't forget the small VW only sold in Yorkshire, the Ay-up!

Edited by Justin Case on Saturday 9th November 19:44

832ark

875 posts

103 months

Saturday 9th November
quotequote all
rallycross said:
My Mrs (before we got married) thought my integra Dc2 was a Honda Imprezia
Is that a blue DC2 with gold wheels, 4wd and a boosted 2 litre flat 4?