DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
DaveGoddard said:
Yep, I'd forgotten to tighten the oil cap back up and it had fallen off. Looked for it in the hedge but never found it, had to tape a temporary replacement over the oil filler hole once I got to work and get another one from a scrapyard the next day.
Didn't someone on here a few years ago do that with a BMW M3?The rag he used got pulled into the engine and wrecked it!
My aux belt decided to disintegrate and get caught in the cambelt, causing it to jam and knock the fuel pump out of time.
Not a problem I thought after some considerable googling, I've done a cambelt before (on a totally different car), how hard can it be?
Day 1 on Saturday was spent taking it all apart, re-timing the engine, cleaning bits of shredded rubber off everything, and finished with the new cambelt on and tightened up, ready to check the following day.
Day 2 - Sunday. Go to turn the engine by the crank to align everything. quarter of a turn, donk...metallic wall. Mmmmm. Checked everything was fine, quarter of a turn, donk... f
k. After some frantic googling it should not happen, so I re-time everything (lunchtime now) and try again. Nothing. Everything span independently of each other (fuel pump, camshaft and crankshaft). Tried for a 3rd time, and it span! I think I had the camshaft half a tooth out. Happy days. Got everything back together by 3.30pm, and too kit out for a test drive, only around the estate, 20mph max. All worked!
Monday morning, off to work, fairly down on power. fk. Lots of engine vibrations too that wasn't there before. Drive it until wednesday gingerly before having a look at lunchtime, the slack was in the wrong place on the cambelt, so it wasn't properly tensioned. 240 miles later on Saturday, all off again, but done properly this time. I also had the fuel pump half a tooth retarded, hence the low power. Turns out citroen decided to have an M8 thread for the locking bars, but have bigger unthreaded holes on the pulleys, allowing for slop. So back together with cableties holding the belt to the pulleys with the right tension, and it ran alot better!
I'm now an expert at 1.9td cambelt changes after some forced learning.
On my old ZX, I replaced the rear calipers as they were seized. Mangled the brake pipe union a bit getting it off the drivers side. Upon reassembly it wouldn't tighten up fully, and dribbled brake fluid. So mole grips out, clamped on and gingerly turned it until no more fluid leaked. Left it alone after that and it was fine for the rest of the cars life!
Again on the ZX, it needed a new steering column (the UJ had gone stiff). Got a new column from a breaker. fk, from a different type of ZX, so would not fit. However, I took the rubber boot off the column that covers the hole in the floor it passes through and could not get it back on. So for 3 weeks until I got rid of it I had horrible road noise through the hole in the floor, unless I stood on the rubber boot to push it against the hole...
Used blue hylomar to seal the sump on the girlfriends Meriva... that lasted for about 8 miles... had to re-do it all with tigerseal which is still going strong!
Not a problem I thought after some considerable googling, I've done a cambelt before (on a totally different car), how hard can it be?
Day 1 on Saturday was spent taking it all apart, re-timing the engine, cleaning bits of shredded rubber off everything, and finished with the new cambelt on and tightened up, ready to check the following day.
Day 2 - Sunday. Go to turn the engine by the crank to align everything. quarter of a turn, donk...metallic wall. Mmmmm. Checked everything was fine, quarter of a turn, donk... f
k. After some frantic googling it should not happen, so I re-time everything (lunchtime now) and try again. Nothing. Everything span independently of each other (fuel pump, camshaft and crankshaft). Tried for a 3rd time, and it span! I think I had the camshaft half a tooth out. Happy days. Got everything back together by 3.30pm, and too kit out for a test drive, only around the estate, 20mph max. All worked!Monday morning, off to work, fairly down on power. f
k. Lots of engine vibrations too that wasn't there before. Drive it until wednesday gingerly before having a look at lunchtime, the slack was in the wrong place on the cambelt, so it wasn't properly tensioned. 240 miles later on Saturday, all off again, but done properly this time. I also had the fuel pump half a tooth retarded, hence the low power. Turns out citroen decided to have an M8 thread for the locking bars, but have bigger unthreaded holes on the pulleys, allowing for slop. So back together with cableties holding the belt to the pulleys with the right tension, and it ran alot better!I'm now an expert at 1.9td cambelt changes after some forced learning.
On my old ZX, I replaced the rear calipers as they were seized. Mangled the brake pipe union a bit getting it off the drivers side. Upon reassembly it wouldn't tighten up fully, and dribbled brake fluid. So mole grips out, clamped on and gingerly turned it until no more fluid leaked. Left it alone after that and it was fine for the rest of the cars life!
Again on the ZX, it needed a new steering column (the UJ had gone stiff). Got a new column from a breaker. f
k, from a different type of ZX, so would not fit. However, I took the rubber boot off the column that covers the hole in the floor it passes through and could not get it back on. So for 3 weeks until I got rid of it I had horrible road noise through the hole in the floor, unless I stood on the rubber boot to push it against the hole...Used blue hylomar to seal the sump on the girlfriends Meriva... that lasted for about 8 miles... had to re-do it all with tigerseal which is still going strong!
Ok, bit of a non car job but
About to put steam from a reactor into a vessel at work, about the size of a large double decker bus. Level instrument not working and needed priming.
Told the desk operator I needed to prime the head tank
Went to vessel, checked pressure gauge, zero bar.
Took filling point of head tank, meanwhile operator put steam into the vessel and pressurised it to 13 bar at 197 deg c
Got a surprise as the plug shot 100ft in the air
Had to crawl under the walkway to shut the first isolating valve. Problem was, rather than steam jetting out of the filling point, I now got boiling hot water cascading down on me as I shut the second valve.
Walked into the control room, dripping wet, scalded and grumpy.
Had a few choice words with the operator.
Fun days. Would need a risk assessment and an approved procedure to do that job now.
About to put steam from a reactor into a vessel at work, about the size of a large double decker bus. Level instrument not working and needed priming.
Told the desk operator I needed to prime the head tank
Went to vessel, checked pressure gauge, zero bar.
Took filling point of head tank, meanwhile operator put steam into the vessel and pressurised it to 13 bar at 197 deg c
Got a surprise as the plug shot 100ft in the air
Had to crawl under the walkway to shut the first isolating valve. Problem was, rather than steam jetting out of the filling point, I now got boiling hot water cascading down on me as I shut the second valve.
Walked into the control room, dripping wet, scalded and grumpy.
Had a few choice words with the operator.
Fun days. Would need a risk assessment and an approved procedure to do that job now.
Sierra cosworth , snapped an exhaust downpipe stud so turbo off to remove it but nuts rounding off so decide to take off manifold. 4 manifold studs snap in process flush with head so drill them out. Refit and find coolant pouring out as drill has gone into water jacket. So head off to get it repaired to discover a lovely line of cracks zigzagging down one side of block from head bolt to bore which at least explained why the oil consumption was starting to rise. Would have needed the new engine it ended up with anyway eventually but was not part of the plan at the time.
Edited by tin duck dave on Friday 25th November 21:12
I had a 200SX many years ago which needed new turbo gaskets.
Whilst we were doing it we decided to fit stainless manifold and downpipe.
We didn't have a garage so we used to do all the work on my mates driveway, that lovely driveway smattered with nice bits of gravel.
So anyway, turbo back on, looking sweet. Heading home I had an Impreza come alongside me on a nice straight bit of dual carriageway so I put my foot down. Off the car went. Boost at 14psi....
Then 10.
Then 6.
Then nothing, and the car felt like I'd hit a wall. I limped it home (no breakdown and it was dark)
When we took the turbo off the next day..
Hmmm, there should be blades there.
We did get a lovely smooth bit of gravel out of it, I've still got it around somewhere, it's like a small marble. No oocs though, soz!
Whilst we were doing it we decided to fit stainless manifold and downpipe.
We didn't have a garage so we used to do all the work on my mates driveway, that lovely driveway smattered with nice bits of gravel.
So anyway, turbo back on, looking sweet. Heading home I had an Impreza come alongside me on a nice straight bit of dual carriageway so I put my foot down. Off the car went. Boost at 14psi....
Then 10.
Then 6.
Then nothing, and the car felt like I'd hit a wall. I limped it home (no breakdown and it was dark)
When we took the turbo off the next day..
Hmmm, there should be blades there.
We did get a lovely smooth bit of gravel out of it, I've still got it around somewhere, it's like a small marble. No oocs though, soz!
beko1987 said:
Day 2 - Sunday. Go to turn the engine by the crank to align everything. quarter of a turn, donk...metallic wall. Mmmmm. Checked everything was fine, quarter of a turn, donk... fk. After some frantic googling it should not happen, so I re-time everything (lunchtime now) and try again. Nothing. Everything span independently of each other (fuel pump, camshaft and crankshaft). Tried for a 3rd time, and it span! I think I had the camshaft half a tooth out.
Half a tooth out would not cause that kind of problem. How did you manage to get it half a tooth out anyway, it's usually an integer number of teeth? k. After some frantic googling it should not happen, so I re-time everything (lunchtime now) and try again. Nothing. Everything span independently of each other (fuel pump, camshaft and crankshaft). Tried for a 3rd time, and it span! I think I had the camshaft half a tooth out. Replacing springs and shocks on my spitfire and removed the nuts that keep the spring under tension. Went off like an artillery piece. I felt the air move as it missed my head, took a chunk out of the car body and continued 50' over the road and into a neighbours drive.
I have no doubt that I was within a fraction of an inch of literally losing my head.
I have no doubt that I was within a fraction of an inch of literally losing my head.
Gary C said:
Ok, bit of a non car job but
About to put steam from a reactor into a vessel at work, about the size of a large double decker bus. Level instrument not working and needed priming.
Told the desk operator I needed to prime the head tank
Went to vessel, checked pressure gauge, zero bar.
Took filling point of head tank, meanwhile operator put steam into the vessel and pressurised it to 13 bar at 197 deg c
Got a surprise as the plug shot 100ft in the air
Had to crawl under the walkway to shut the first isolating valve. Problem was, rather than steam jetting out of the filling point, I now got boiling hot water cascading down on me as I shut the second valve.
Walked into the control room, dripping wet, scalded and grumpy.
Had a few choice words with the operator.
Fun days. Would need a risk assessment and an approved procedure to do that job now.
With good reason it would seem!About to put steam from a reactor into a vessel at work, about the size of a large double decker bus. Level instrument not working and needed priming.
Told the desk operator I needed to prime the head tank
Went to vessel, checked pressure gauge, zero bar.
Took filling point of head tank, meanwhile operator put steam into the vessel and pressurised it to 13 bar at 197 deg c
Got a surprise as the plug shot 100ft in the air
Had to crawl under the walkway to shut the first isolating valve. Problem was, rather than steam jetting out of the filling point, I now got boiling hot water cascading down on me as I shut the second valve.
Walked into the control room, dripping wet, scalded and grumpy.
Had a few choice words with the operator.
Fun days. Would need a risk assessment and an approved procedure to do that job now.
Just spent the last few days reading through this thread, very funny.
Thought I'd add one of my stories.
Changed the clutch on my Fiesta, my first clutch change but it mostly went to plan. Went to start it, and it wouldn't. Nothing. The dash lights came on, so we bumped it and away we went. Then the next issue presented itself. Clutch slip! Oh blast. Then having thought about it I remembered that I hadn't cleaned the pressure plate when I put it all back together! Cue a few miles with a clutch that slipped occasionally. It stopped soon enough after a few episodes and has been fine since
The issue with starting - I'd forgotten to fix the wires to the starter motor. Oddly, it was fine after that too.
Lesson learnt.
Thought I'd add one of my stories.
Changed the clutch on my Fiesta, my first clutch change but it mostly went to plan. Went to start it, and it wouldn't. Nothing. The dash lights came on, so we bumped it and away we went. Then the next issue presented itself. Clutch slip! Oh blast. Then having thought about it I remembered that I hadn't cleaned the pressure plate when I put it all back together! Cue a few miles with a clutch that slipped occasionally. It stopped soon enough after a few episodes and has been fine since
The issue with starting - I'd forgotten to fix the wires to the starter motor. Oddly, it was fine after that too.
Lesson learnt.
In the 1980's I had a Granada which had a water controlled cold start facility (auto choke) that wasn't working correctly. So I took it off and into the kitchen to have a look. The idea is that as the engine coolant gets hotter the valve opens.....but it wasn't. Cue me tipping the carb on its side and sticking my handover one end while pouring very hot water from the kettle in the other to see if the valve moved............... Ouch. Idiot
Only one that springs to mind, a friend just bought an absolutely mint Kawasaki Z1000. Had been asking me for a week or so to go round fit crash bungs for him, for non bike people these are basically a big cylindrical piece of nylon that attach via the engine mounts on either side.
I agreed to go round, said I'd be 10 mins, grabbed some tools and walked round the block. When I got there he was stood by his bike scratching his head with the engine half hanging out of the bike. The muppet had undone both mounting bolts at the same time and the engine just dropped. Luckily he found a jack in his garage and we managed to get it lined up and bolted back up but it made a 10 minute job take about 2 hours in the end.
I agreed to go round, said I'd be 10 mins, grabbed some tools and walked round the block. When I got there he was stood by his bike scratching his head with the engine half hanging out of the bike. The muppet had undone both mounting bolts at the same time and the engine just dropped. Luckily he found a jack in his garage and we managed to get it lined up and bolted back up but it made a 10 minute job take about 2 hours in the end.
lesstatt said:
In the 1980's I had a Granada which had a water controlled cold start facility (auto choke) that wasn't working correctly. So I took it off and into the kitchen to have a look. The idea is that as the engine coolant gets hotter the valve opens.....but it wasn't. Cue me tipping the carb on its side and sticking my handover one end while pouring very hot water from the kettle in the other to see if the valve moved............... Ouch. Idiot
Lol !My 1st ever car-mk3 cortina.
I decide to change the oil and filter, thought it was a good idea to jack the front up, so I did, but, I did not have axle stands.
Had a wander into the garage to see if I could find something to use as axle stands-2 full 5ltr tins of white gloss.
I stood on one tin and thought 'these will do'.
Placed said tins under chassis rails, and sadly let the jack down very quickly!
Tins exploded and white gloss all over dads driveway.
Dad went mad-mum thought it was funny!
I decide to change the oil and filter, thought it was a good idea to jack the front up, so I did, but, I did not have axle stands.
Had a wander into the garage to see if I could find something to use as axle stands-2 full 5ltr tins of white gloss.
I stood on one tin and thought 'these will do'.
Placed said tins under chassis rails, and sadly let the jack down very quickly!
Tins exploded and white gloss all over dads driveway.
Dad went mad-mum thought it was funny!
Exactly the type of thing I used to try and do!
My worst moment, that I cannot to this day believe I got away with - 1978 Mini Clubman 1098cc. I rebuilt the carb with a cheap rebuild kit - and the float valve leaked, overfilling the float bowl and venting petrol out of the bowl. On those cars, intake & exhaust were on the same side, so the carb sat exactly next to exhaust manifold. All that petrol overflowed out straight onto the exhaust manifold and instantly vaporised. For some reason, I decided this wasn't unsafe and drove to the south coast and back with it like that. OMFG!
I also did a 4 headlamp conversion on it - but failed to appreciate the extra load would burn out the headlamp rocker switch (I'd just put a bigger fuse in the fuse box - "it'll be fine"). Driving from newquay back to plymouth - all lights completely turned off, and a burning smell in the car. Sadly, no streetlights on many of those roads, so we very very gingerly made our way to the nearest garage where I shoved a paperclip in the connector to jump it to get us home - we had a couple of them since they glowed red hot and burn out after about 10 minutes. I learnt the reason for fuses & relays that day.
Another time I was driving - went to put my foot on the brake after hooning up a back road near crazies hill. NO BRAKES!!
Managed to slow down enough for the corner and all was well - but I needed to get home. Decided driving home using the handbrake & gearbox was warranted.
Turned out when I'd replaced the rear shoes, I'd not engaged them on the cylinder, so eventually the piston had popped out of the cylinder, draining the entire brake system - those cars had no servo and only single circuit brakes.
In my defense, I was young and roads were a lot less busy then. And I learnt a lot from my mistakes on that car.
One final one - a win. Driving back from Plymouth to Surrey in the middle of the night, somewhere on the A38 (I think). Absolutely pitch black and pouring with rain. Mini completely conked out - electrics all fine, lights bright, motor cranked, but no spark. I decided it felt like an ignition failure (points ignition was oh-so-simple) - so traced by feel (genuinely no light at all - although I can't recall why I decided having the headlights off was OK) the wires to the coil and found one of the connectors had popped off the coil. Popped if back on and off we go. Woo Hoo!
My worst moment, that I cannot to this day believe I got away with - 1978 Mini Clubman 1098cc. I rebuilt the carb with a cheap rebuild kit - and the float valve leaked, overfilling the float bowl and venting petrol out of the bowl. On those cars, intake & exhaust were on the same side, so the carb sat exactly next to exhaust manifold. All that petrol overflowed out straight onto the exhaust manifold and instantly vaporised. For some reason, I decided this wasn't unsafe and drove to the south coast and back with it like that. OMFG!
I also did a 4 headlamp conversion on it - but failed to appreciate the extra load would burn out the headlamp rocker switch (I'd just put a bigger fuse in the fuse box - "it'll be fine"). Driving from newquay back to plymouth - all lights completely turned off, and a burning smell in the car. Sadly, no streetlights on many of those roads, so we very very gingerly made our way to the nearest garage where I shoved a paperclip in the connector to jump it to get us home - we had a couple of them since they glowed red hot and burn out after about 10 minutes. I learnt the reason for fuses & relays that day.
Another time I was driving - went to put my foot on the brake after hooning up a back road near crazies hill. NO BRAKES!!
Managed to slow down enough for the corner and all was well - but I needed to get home. Decided driving home using the handbrake & gearbox was warranted.
Turned out when I'd replaced the rear shoes, I'd not engaged them on the cylinder, so eventually the piston had popped out of the cylinder, draining the entire brake system - those cars had no servo and only single circuit brakes.
In my defense, I was young and roads were a lot less busy then. And I learnt a lot from my mistakes on that car.
One final one - a win. Driving back from Plymouth to Surrey in the middle of the night, somewhere on the A38 (I think). Absolutely pitch black and pouring with rain. Mini completely conked out - electrics all fine, lights bright, motor cranked, but no spark. I decided it felt like an ignition failure (points ignition was oh-so-simple) - so traced by feel (genuinely no light at all - although I can't recall why I decided having the headlights off was OK) the wires to the coil and found one of the connectors had popped off the coil. Popped if back on and off we go. Woo Hoo!
rambo19 said:
My 1st ever car-mk3 cortina.
I decide to change the oil and filter, thought it was a good idea to jack the front up, so I did, but, I did not have axle stands.
Had a wander into the garage to see if I could find something to use as axle stands-2 full 5ltr tins of white gloss.
I stood on one tin and thought 'these will do'.
Placed said tins under chassis rails, and sadly let the jack down very quickly!
Tins exploded and white gloss all over dads driveway.
Dad went mad-mum thought it was funny!
I decide to change the oil and filter, thought it was a good idea to jack the front up, so I did, but, I did not have axle stands.
Had a wander into the garage to see if I could find something to use as axle stands-2 full 5ltr tins of white gloss.
I stood on one tin and thought 'these will do'.
Placed said tins under chassis rails, and sadly let the jack down very quickly!
Tins exploded and white gloss all over dads driveway.
Dad went mad-mum thought it was funny!
Edited by Arnold Cunningham on Wednesday 30th November 18:32
My first car, a mk1 Fiesta 950 Popular, in Gold with beige interior 
I decided to put a new head unit in it as it was still on the original Ford one and clearly not pushing the boundaries of cool a gold Mk1 Fiesta could achieve. So pull head unit out, get new one, plus amp, speakers etc with a mate, we study the wiring diagrams and start carefully hacking the wiring loom to bits as any enthusiastic but inexperienced 17/18 year old's would. All is going well, we have everything connected and amazingly everything else in the car is still live and working. Turn ignition on and after a few tweaks everything on the stereo works as it should, awesome! So we decide to go for a spin, chuffed to bits with our achievement, I get to the end of the road and indicate, the sound switches on and off in perfect synchronous with the indicator.... That is how I learnt there is such a thing as a switched earth...
I decided to put a new head unit in it as it was still on the original Ford one and clearly not pushing the boundaries of cool a gold Mk1 Fiesta could achieve. So pull head unit out, get new one, plus amp, speakers etc with a mate, we study the wiring diagrams and start carefully hacking the wiring loom to bits as any enthusiastic but inexperienced 17/18 year old's would. All is going well, we have everything connected and amazingly everything else in the car is still live and working. Turn ignition on and after a few tweaks everything on the stereo works as it should, awesome! So we decide to go for a spin, chuffed to bits with our achievement, I get to the end of the road and indicate, the sound switches on and off in perfect synchronous with the indicator.... That is how I learnt there is such a thing as a switched earth...Gav147 said:
My first car, a mk1 Fiesta 950 Popular, in Gold with beige interior I decided to put a new head unit in it as it was still on the original Ford one and clearly not pushing the boundaries of cool a gold Mk1 Fiesta could achieve. So pull head unit out, get new one, plus amp, speakers etc with a mate, we study the wiring diagrams and start carefully hacking the wiring loom to bits as any enthusiastic but inexperienced 17/18 year old's would. All is going well, we have everything connected and amazingly everything else in the car is still live and working. Turn ignition on and after a few tweaks everything on the stereo works as it should, awesome! So we decide to go for a spin, chuffed to bits with our achievement, I get to the end of the road and indicate, the sound switches on and off in perfect synchronous with the indicator.... That is how I learnt there is such a thing as a switched earth...
like I decided to put a new head unit in it as it was still on the original Ford one and clearly not pushing the boundaries of cool a gold Mk1 Fiesta could achieve. So pull head unit out, get new one, plus amp, speakers etc with a mate, we study the wiring diagrams and start carefully hacking the wiring loom to bits as any enthusiastic but inexperienced 17/18 year old's would. All is going well, we have everything connected and amazingly everything else in the car is still live and working. Turn ignition on and after a few tweaks everything on the stereo works as it should, awesome! So we decide to go for a spin, chuffed to bits with our achievement, I get to the end of the road and indicate, the sound switches on and off in perfect synchronous with the indicator.... That is how I learnt there is such a thing as a switched earth...
Checked and topped Fiat 500 up wth oil ready for 6 hour round trip to airport and had placed oil cap on top of engine whilst doing it. Forgot to replace it and closed bonnet. Drove to airport and then around town for next 3 weeks wondering at the increasing smell of oil (thought I might have overfilled it a bit and it would burn off). Eventually opened bonnet to investigate to find oil cap still on top of engine (it was trapped there by foam mat on underside of bonnet) and oil everywhere inside engine compartment. And I mean everywhere. That was a messy job to clean up!
Edited by C4ME on Sunday 9th September 22:10
C4ME said:
Checked and topped Fiat 500 up wth oil ready for 6 hour round trip to airport and had placed oil cap on top of engine whilst doing it. Forgot to replace it and closed bonnet. Drove to airport and then around town for next 3 weeks wondering at the increasing smell of oil (thought I might have overfilled it a bit and it would burn off). Eventually opened bonnet tto investigate to find oil cap still on top of engine (it was trapped there by foam mat on underside of bonnet) and oil everywhere inside engine compartment. And I mean everywhere. That was a messy job to clean up!
Not as messy as this one from my weekend. 
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