One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3

[Drive Blind]

the last few days we've had unusual weather patterns with a seldom seen big yellow thing in the sky.

This brings out the 'it's a nice day for a drive' knobs.

Yeah, the 'nice day' is feckin ruined by getting stuck behind you as you doddle about everywhere at 35mph.
Do us all a favour and do something in the garden or the park instead of clogging up the roads.

[anonymous-user]

I saw a biker on my way home today wearing a helmet, a pair of shorts and some trainers. No t-shirt or gloves. He was riding some dreadful looking custom chopper thingy like an absolute . Trying to race this sensibly dressed guy who was on a VFR by doing ridiculous filtering manoeuvres at daft speeds. VFR guy ignored him but I couldn't help thinking that riding like that coupled with fk all protective gear is not a good combination.

I know it's his own body and he can risk it if he likes but honestly, why? Yes theres a big yellow round thing in the sky for a change but some proper vented summer gear will see to that. I've had road rash on my knee through jeans, and I can honestly say that having bits of road picked out of it with tweezers and then having it cleaned by what can only be described as a scrubbing brush dipped in saline solution is not a pleasant experience. So why oh why would you risk needing that done to your entire body...?! Plus everyone must have thought he looked like a right stroker.

Rant over...

[nonsequitur]

Drive Blind said:

the last few days we've had unusual weather patterns with a seldom seen big yellow thing in the sky.

This brings out the 'it's a nice day for a drive' knobs.

Yeah, the 'nice day' is feckin ruined by getting stuck behind you as you doddle about everywhere at 35mph.
Do us all a favour and do something in the garden or the park instead of clogging up the roads.

It is any drivers absolute prerogative to drive at a slower speed. I don't mean tortoise speed, and as long as a gap is left for convenient overtaking then I cannot see any problem with enjoying a little light motoring round the local lanes. On a' nice day' of course.

[Benmac]

Jbeale96 said:

I saw a biker on my way home today wearing a helmet, a pair of shorts and some trainers. No t-shirt or gloves. He was riding some dreadful looking custom chopper thingy like an absolute . Trying to race this sensibly dressed guy who was on a VFR by doing ridiculous filtering manoeuvres at daft speeds. VFR guy ignored him but I couldn't help thinking that riding like that coupled with fk all protective gear is not a good combination.

I know it's his own body and he can risk it if he likes but honestly, why? Yes theres a big yellow round thing in the sky for a change but some proper vented summer gear will see to that. I've had road rash on my knee through jeans, and I can honestly say that having bits of road picked out of it with tweezers and then having it cleaned by what can only be described as a scrubbing brush dipped in saline solution is not a pleasant experience. So why oh why would you risk needing that done to your entire body...?! Plus everyone must have thought he looked like a right stroker.

Rant over...

As it happens I saw a similar one near me, the only addition to his attire compared to yours was a pair of gloves. I suppose at least my chap would be able to help pick the gravel out his skin if his hands aren't too bashed up. The more amusing thing was that he was somehwat pale of complexion. Perhaps he had just lost his shirt and was riding in the speedy manner he was through the village in order to not get burnt?

[Hackney]

Drivers on roundabouts who have absolutely no idea what the white, liney shaped things on the floor are.

Today driving up the A6 between Bedford and Rushden, dual carriageway, I'm in the right lane and a white Corsa is in the left lane. Now I know EVERY SINGLE fkING IDIOT CUTS THE "APEX" OF EVERY fkING ROUNDABOUT so I hang back and sure enough, she enters the roundabout in the left lane, straight-lines across into my lane, then exits in the left lane.
I pipped my horn, for no other reason than to vent my frustration and as I over took her she looked across with a kind of "what on earth are you pipping your horn for you young hooligan?" look on her face.

It's even worse at this roundabout in Milton Keynes, https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@52.0326339,-0.67908...
No-one, but no-one can enter, traverse and leave while keeping in the same, never mind correct, lane. Every bloody week (take my son swimming in MK every Saturday) I encounter some lane-wandering idiot.

[Stick Legs]

Roundabouts...

The indicate right then indicate left halfway across when heading straight on brigade make me cross.

You wait for them because they are indicating right...

and then they go straight on!

Madness.

[Hackney]

Stick Legs said:

Roundabouts...

The indicate right then indicate left halfway across when heading straight on brigade make me cross.

You wait for them because they are indicating right...

and then they go straight on!

Madness.

Increasingly seeing numpties who indicate left when approaching the roundabout, because they see it as a left turn, no matter where they're actually going once on the roundabout.

[Hackney]

Currently very popular round here to pull out from a side road when something's coming, because obviously they've got to stop.
Happened yesterday in Flitwick, residential area so only 30, but I had to slow to 15 when someone pulled out on the car in front of me. I was vexed on their behalf!

Today in my own village same thing happened, although I was further back. Half of me respects the people who don't react for being serene and above all that but half of me thinks they're door mats.

[Hol]

Stick Legs said:

Roundabouts...

The indicate right then indicate left halfway across when heading straight on brigade make me cross.

You wait for them because they are indicating right...

and then they go straight on!

Madness.

At least they are halfway there.

The people who like playing 'can you guess what direction I am going/what I am thinking' are much worse.

You have to assume they are all going around further and wait, only for them to swerve off at the last moment for the exit to your road, denying yourself and other cars behind you the opportunity to safely join the RAB until a car does indicate.


Sadly,
They are usually the first people to complain about 'chancers' pulling out on them. (Well you reap what you sow).

[CivBrum]

kowalski655 said:

Im stopped with hazard flashers on a NSL rural A road, when some old biffer pulls up behind me, waits a bit & then honks the horn & tries to drive round me.
Now you might think *I* am the knob here but the fool behind needs to get to Specsavers, as they missed the 4 cows stood in the middle of the road in front of me, blocking everyone!

I did this recently, on a single track road on the Isle of Skye. Some guy just stops in the middle of the road - ah bloody tourists, no manners - off I went round them, only to see he had stopped for a bunch of sheep...

Did feel like a bit of a t**t.

[jimmy the hat]

Going straight on at a roundabout. In the L/H lane and passing the exit before mine so just starting to indicate left. To clarify, there's a traffic island between the lanes which is to my left so I'm past the exit but not quite on the entry IYSWIM. For some reason, that's when the bloke I'm about to pass decides he's going to pull out. Fortunately, he stops but mouths off about something. Huge dent down the R/H side of his car. No mystery there, I guess.

I think I know what his problem was but, sorry, I'm not going to indicate right to go straight on - just so you know I'm not turning left. If I was turning left, I'd be indicating left. If I'm not indicating left, I'm not turning left. Similarly, if I'm not indicating right I'm not turning right*. I appreciate that not everybody does it properly but I can't really be held responsible for them, you'll just have to react to what I'm doing or not doing. If I turn out to be one of those berks that doesn't indicate at all and it inconveniences you, by all means, call me every name under the sun. I'll totally deserve it.

Besides, the biggest indication that I'm not turning left is that I've passed it, so, awesome reactions.

I was going to post the one about the bloke driving the length of the off-slip to the right and then deciding with about 20 yards to go that he's turning left at the roundabout so has to move across, but I'm assuming this is just a thing. I mean, why would anyone just exit the DC into the side of the slip-road that they wanted when they can drive all the way down the side they don't want and have to change lanes at the end and annoy everyone? Silly me.

Cheers, Jim

• edited to add that there is a bona-fide right turn on this roundabout before some smart-arse asks.

Edited by jimmy the hat on Friday 23 June 14:29

[parabolica]

The heat seems to make people go crazy - I've just witnessed 5 separate counts of knobbery in around 3 hours of driving!

2x people turning right onto a main road who think it's perfectly acceptable to block traffic coming from the right, even though their turn is blocked by a long, stationary line of traffic on the other side. First one was annoying but traffic moved after 10 secs or so; the second one we were sat there for the best part of a minute whist the blocker + the driver of the first car in the queue got out and had an argy bargy.

2x people blocking emergency vehicles; first one was a refrigerated transit who, despite all of us pulling in for a police car on B&Ts continued to drive along the road at 20 then stop at the traffic lights and block the police from getting through. I was praying for them to pull him... the other guy was another plonk in a tipper who pulled out in front of an ambulance all lit up and just sat there (like those above, he was trying to turn right but traffic queues meant he couldn't.

Finally a fully Wimbledon Tennis-stickered-up F-Pace who blindly merged and drove into the side of the young girl in front of me. We all stopped and as I got out, the F-Pace driver was shouting at the girl saying it was her fault, when clearly it wasn't as he wandered out of his lane into her. He seemed more concerned about what his bosses were going to say about the car. Police were called and before they turned up he begged me to back him up with the police - no chance of that happening. Statements given and everyone left, but I was seething with the F-Pace guy, fking cheek of it to try and blame it on the innocent girl just because he was going to get a bking from his boss.

[Solocle]

Oh, a while back there was the stupid bh who stuck half way out of a "stop" junction, in an NSL. Oncoming traffic, she wanted straight across. So naturally, she blocked me while she waited. When the traffic cleared I moved as if to pass her (but didn't, because I knew she was about to pull across). She wasn't happy!
I really shouldn't have been so polite about her sitting across my path really...

[InitialDave]

Stick Legs said:

Roundabouts...

The indicate right then indicate left halfway across when heading straight on brigade make me cross.

You wait for them because they are indicating right...

and then they go straight on!

Madness.

I do sometimes do this if the layout of the roundabout makes me think it's the option that'll help other drivers understand what I'm doing, sometimes you get some really weird profiles where "straight on" technically isn't, and if you don't indicate, people will assume you're taking the first exit and nip out in front of you.

But I think I know the type you mean, and yeah, that's not what I do.

[nonsequitur]

Drivers who emerge from a side road to turn right. Ever moving forward to use the centre line as their give way line forcing oncoming to stop to let them out Fast becoming a modern motoring menace.

[Willy Nilly]

I thought it was a PH urban legend, but this evening I actually saw, in the wild, a real life car being driven on the Queens Highway, with the satnav placed slap, bang in the middle of the windscreen in front of the driver At least she would have been able o seen the screen clearly.

[RAFsmoggy]

Blown2cv & Yellowjack...

[yellowjack]

RAFsmoggy said:

Blown2cv & Yellowjack...

Likewise, I'm sure. Have a lovely day now!

[yellowjack]

1) Dumb fk old biffa at the garden centre this afternoon.


I was leaving on my bicycle, he was leaving the other part of the car park to the left of the mini-roundabout I was already on. He actually forced me to move right onto the painted 'hump' that I'd been trying to go round, as he barged his way past to my left.

So there I was, alongside him, his window wound down, and I ask him "are we ignoring roundabouts now then?" "do cyclists not count as traffic?" His response? "Don't fking try to overtake me then!"

Well fk you you blind stupid old tt. I was on the bloody roundabout well before you, and in accordance with the standard roundabout priorities. And no, gripping the wheel in your whitening knuckles, staring straight ahead, and ignoring me isn't going to make me go away.


2) Dumb fk old biffa at the petrol station yesterday. I was out cycling with a mate, and he stopped to buy a drink. I was stood outside watching Mr Magoo himself try to drive up to a pump. He overshot, so reversed. Right into the pump island, hitting it with his nearside rear wheel not once, not twice, but three times. Each time I thought he'd accelerate enough to mount the island and actually hit the pump. Every time his wheel hit, he'd dip the clutch and roll forward with the accelerator floored, then let the clutch out to go back for another hit. Eventually he gave up, got out, got his stick from the back seat, and walked to the pump while his wife got into the driver's seat and took a further three attempts to straighten it up while he "directed traffic". It would have been funny if they hadn't both still been driving on public roads with clearly inadequate vision. It's about time there were regular medicals for ALL drivers, not just HGV drivers. I'm sick of seeing these myopic, selfish, stubborn aholes risking their safety, and that of every other person on the road with them on the grounds that otherwise they'd "lose their independence". Medically unsuited to the task of driving? Should mean withdrawal of their license unless/until their medical issue can be sorted.

[swisstoni]

yellowjack said:

1) Dumb fk old biffa at the garden centre this afternoon.


I was leaving on my bicycle, he was leaving the other part of the car park to the left of the mini-roundabout I was already on. He actually forced me to move right onto the painted 'hump' that I'd been trying to go round, as he barged his way past to my left.

So there I was, alongside him, his window wound down, and I ask him "are we ignoring roundabouts now then?" "do cyclists not count as traffic?" His response? "Don't fking try to overtake me then!"

Well fk you you blind stupid old tt. I was on the bloody roundabout well before you, and in accordance with the standard roundabout priorities. And no, gripping the wheel in your whitening knuckles, staring straight ahead, and ignoring me isn't going to make me go away.


2) Dumb fk old biffa at the petrol station yesterday. I was out cycling with a mate, and he stopped to buy a drink. I was stood outside watching Mr Magoo himself try to drive up to a pump. He overshot, so reversed. Right into the pump island, hitting it with his nearside rear wheel not once, not twice, but three times. Each time I thought he'd accelerate enough to mount the island and actually hit the pump. Every time his wheel hit, he'd dip the clutch and roll forward with the accelerator floored, then let the clutch out to go back for another hit. Eventually he gave up, got out, got his stick from the back seat, and walked to the pump while his wife got into the driver's seat and took a further three attempts to straighten it up while he "directed traffic". It would have been funny if they hadn't both still been driving on public roads with clearly inadequate vision. It's about time there were regular medicals for ALL drivers, not just HGV drivers. I'm sick of seeing these myopic, selfish, stubborn aholes risking their safety, and that of every other person on the road with them on the grounds that otherwise they'd "lose their independence". Medically unsuited to the task of driving? Should mean withdrawal of their license unless/until their medical issue can be sorted.

You need to stay in more.
What were you buying from the garden centre on your bike - one bulb? A bag of seeds?