Does anybody know how tall Chris Goffey is ?
Discussion
CS Garth said:
Ten Top Chris Goffey Facts*
-Chris once punched a horse unconscious when it stole his Cheesey Wotsits on location near Mexborough during a Maestro road test to Flamborough Head.
-Chris holds the world record for eating the largest number of scotch eggs in a minute - an unbelievable 16
-Barrel-chested Chris wears a 44 inch jacket with an impressive 34 inch waist and 36 leg. He dresses to the left.
-If you unravelled all of Chris' knitwear and laid it end it would stretch from Eastbourne to 3 miles West of Eastbourne.
-Once on holiday in Tuscany with the early 90's TG crew, Chris rolled his hire car 3 times on the way back from a late night meal, landed it on its wheels, drove back to the villa and then buffed out the damage using nail varnish and Tony Mason's chest wig.
-Chris has 3 false teeth made from the enamel on 1 tooth of a T rex he found on a youth hostelling trip to Doreset's beautiful Jurassic coastline.
-Chris sensationally turned down the role of Indiana Jones as the role clashed with the annual meat draw presentation for the Rotarians in Stow-on the Wold and he doesn't like letting people down.
-Past girlfriends have included Michelle Pfeiffer, Annabelle Giles, the girl itching her bum on that tennis poster and Spinderalla of Salt'n'Pepa fame.
-Chris is credited with the invention of meals on wheels, poptarts and the dwarf Japanese maple. Bonsai indeed.
-Chris is also credited with the fastest 9 dart finish in modern darts after besting Eric Bristow and Rod Hull during a marathon 36 drinking session in Swaffham. During the same session he also scratch-modelled the SS Great Britain from bar snacks and talked a man down from the Empire State building during the world's first transatlantic mobile telecommunications call.
-Chris once punched a horse unconscious when it stole his Cheesey Wotsits on location near Mexborough during a Maestro road test to Flamborough Head.
-Chris holds the world record for eating the largest number of scotch eggs in a minute - an unbelievable 16
-Barrel-chested Chris wears a 44 inch jacket with an impressive 34 inch waist and 36 leg. He dresses to the left.
-If you unravelled all of Chris' knitwear and laid it end it would stretch from Eastbourne to 3 miles West of Eastbourne.
-Once on holiday in Tuscany with the early 90's TG crew, Chris rolled his hire car 3 times on the way back from a late night meal, landed it on its wheels, drove back to the villa and then buffed out the damage using nail varnish and Tony Mason's chest wig.
-Chris has 3 false teeth made from the enamel on 1 tooth of a T rex he found on a youth hostelling trip to Doreset's beautiful Jurassic coastline.
-Chris sensationally turned down the role of Indiana Jones as the role clashed with the annual meat draw presentation for the Rotarians in Stow-on the Wold and he doesn't like letting people down.
-Past girlfriends have included Michelle Pfeiffer, Annabelle Giles, the girl itching her bum on that tennis poster and Spinderalla of Salt'n'Pepa fame.
-Chris is credited with the invention of meals on wheels, poptarts and the dwarf Japanese maple. Bonsai indeed.
-Chris is also credited with the fastest 9 dart finish in modern darts after besting Eric Bristow and Rod Hull during a marathon 36 drinking session in Swaffham. During the same session he also scratch-modelled the SS Great Britain from bar snacks and talked a man down from the Empire State building during the world's first transatlantic mobile telecommunications call.
- All of these are true. For a given value of true.
mellowman said:
The man is indeed a legend, and known for his encloyclopediac knowledge of all kinds of cars, bikes and...campervans!
Enjoy his critique of this Ford Tourneo Custom camper conversion...
https://youtu.be/9IhpZHcpfPc
Thanks for this. Those of us who aim for the Goffey look will need to pop down to BHS, because it is clear that he is favouring stylish modern fleeces over traditional knitwear these days. Good to see that sturdy Clarks shoes are still part of the ensemble though.Enjoy his critique of this Ford Tourneo Custom camper conversion...
https://youtu.be/9IhpZHcpfPc
EnglishTony said:
CS Garth said:
Ten Top Chris Goffey Facts*
-Chris once punched a horse unconscious when it stole his Cheesey Wotsits on location near Mexborough during a Maestro road test to Flamborough Head.
-Chris holds the world record for eating the largest number of scotch eggs in a minute - an unbelievable 16
-Barrel-chested Chris wears a 44 inch jacket with an impressive 34 inch waist and 36 leg. He dresses to the left.
-If you unravelled all of Chris' knitwear and laid it end it would stretch from Eastbourne to 3 miles West of Eastbourne.
-Once on holiday in Tuscany with the early 90's TG crew, Chris rolled his hire car 3 times on the way back from a late night meal, landed it on its wheels, drove back to the villa and then buffed out the damage using nail varnish and Tony Mason's chest wig.
-Chris has 3 false teeth made from the enamel on 1 tooth of a T rex he found on a youth hostelling trip to Doreset's beautiful Jurassic coastline.
-Chris sensationally turned down the role of Indiana Jones as the role clashed with the annual meat draw presentation for the Rotarians in Stow-on the Wold and he doesn't like letting people down.
-Past girlfriends have included Michelle Pfeiffer, Annabelle Giles, the girl itching her bum on that tennis poster and Spinderalla of Salt'n'Pepa fame.
-Chris is credited with the invention of meals on wheels, poptarts and the dwarf Japanese maple. Bonsai indeed.
-Chris is also credited with the fastest 9 dart finish in modern darts after besting Eric Bristow and Rod Hull during a marathon 36 drinking session in Swaffham. During the same session he also scratch-modelled the SS Great Britain from bar snacks and talked a man down from the Empire State building during the world's first transatlantic mobile telecommunications call.
-Chris once punched a horse unconscious when it stole his Cheesey Wotsits on location near Mexborough during a Maestro road test to Flamborough Head.
-Chris holds the world record for eating the largest number of scotch eggs in a minute - an unbelievable 16
-Barrel-chested Chris wears a 44 inch jacket with an impressive 34 inch waist and 36 leg. He dresses to the left.
-If you unravelled all of Chris' knitwear and laid it end it would stretch from Eastbourne to 3 miles West of Eastbourne.
-Once on holiday in Tuscany with the early 90's TG crew, Chris rolled his hire car 3 times on the way back from a late night meal, landed it on its wheels, drove back to the villa and then buffed out the damage using nail varnish and Tony Mason's chest wig.
-Chris has 3 false teeth made from the enamel on 1 tooth of a T rex he found on a youth hostelling trip to Doreset's beautiful Jurassic coastline.
-Chris sensationally turned down the role of Indiana Jones as the role clashed with the annual meat draw presentation for the Rotarians in Stow-on the Wold and he doesn't like letting people down.
-Past girlfriends have included Michelle Pfeiffer, Annabelle Giles, the girl itching her bum on that tennis poster and Spinderalla of Salt'n'Pepa fame.
-Chris is credited with the invention of meals on wheels, poptarts and the dwarf Japanese maple. Bonsai indeed.
-Chris is also credited with the fastest 9 dart finish in modern darts after besting Eric Bristow and Rod Hull during a marathon 36 drinking session in Swaffham. During the same session he also scratch-modelled the SS Great Britain from bar snacks and talked a man down from the Empire State building during the world's first transatlantic mobile telecommunications call.
- All of these are true. For a given value of true.
williamp said:
He's back on the Telly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
Hey, if you heard his voice coming out of your telly speaker, you know how high his mouth is. Measure the height from the ground to your telly speaker and that's how tall his mouth is. Be sure to push down the tape measure through the full depth of the PH deep pile carpet and measure to, well, the centre of the tallness of your telly speaker. This way you will have an accurate metric on the height in tallness of the Goffster's mouthparts. The centre of them. Or his voice box I guess. Oh sJust seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
t...Edited by Polynesian on Thursday 14th April 03:12
Actually he was likely wearing a loafer in the original picture and if he was wearing loafers when recording the TV ad, they wouldn't really push down through the full depth of PH deep pile carpet, so you shouldn't insist on getting the measure right down deep in there. Although any hint of heel on the shoe would raise his mouthparts and so maybe do push down firmly to counteract his shoes.
Polynesian said:
Actually he was likely wearing a loafer in the original picture and if he was wearing loafers when recording the TV ad, they wouldn't really push down through the full depth of PH deep pile carpet, so you shouldn't insist on getting the measure right down deep in there. Although any hint of heel on the shoe would raise his mouthparts and so maybe do push down firmly to counteract his shoes.
The push down on the depth of the carpet pile will have a direct correlation to the man's weight. So we need to know it to be certain in our calculations about his height.So does anybody know how heavy Chris Goffey is?
Polynesian said:
williamp said:
He's back on the Telly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
Hey, if you heard his voice coming out of your telly speaker, you know how high his mouth is. Measure the height from the ground to your telly speaker and that's how tall his mouth is. Be sure to push down the tape measure through the full depth of the PH deep pile carpet and measure to, well, the centre of the tallness of your telly speaker. This way you will have an accurate metric on the height in tallness of the Goffster's mouthparts. The centre of them. Or his voice box I guess. Oh sJust seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
t...Edited by Polynesian on Thursday 14th April 03:12
He is precisely 5.44 cubic metres (192.1 cu ft)
This is based on the measurements taken from my 5.1 surround sound set up, the distance between the two rear speakers to where my head is positioned between them when sat on "my" spot on the sofa and the wife's spot on the sofa, plus the space between the two front facing speakers with the middle speaker also.
I then subtracted the size of the box which houses the subwoofer.
Do you think Chris Goffey is taller than Jason Dawe ? Hard to tell in the picture, but he fills the car quite well. I think Jason may be as tall, if not taller. Or he might be smaller.
Is the pink shirt, 2 button from the top open collar, rolled up sleeves still a good look ? Seen it a lot with people driving Range Rovers, but they were wearing Rayban Aviators at the time.
Is the pink shirt, 2 button from the top open collar, rolled up sleeves still a good look ? Seen it a lot with people driving Range Rovers, but they were wearing Rayban Aviators at the time.
williamp said:
He's back on the Telly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
Armed with this news I went straight to my telly, kicked the kids off the sofa (it's still Easter holidays for them) and got ready for a bit of Goffmeister action. However all I got was Thomas the Tank Engine. The only possible conclusion to draw from this is that Goffers was and probably still is, actually inside your telly. Just seen an advert for the F1 car collection (collect all 5000, starter price £1.99, usual price £6.99 etc). His Goffyness was doing the voiceover. So this shows he is at least as tall as the MP4/4
Two things we can deduce from this. 1) his maximum size is limited by the dimensions of your telly and 2) if you don't move from your living room, you'll eventually see him leave and be able to finally put this whole matter to bed....
JBC said:
That can't be him, too many arms and legs. And the penis is too small.
Thinking about it, it could be Clarkson.
Correct. It is an early 17th century print of a young Clarkson visually describing his stomach proportions. However, this is a thread about the motoring god that is the Godfey, so let's keep to the subject please Thinking about it, it could be Clarkson.
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff