Best smoker barges 1-5 large [vol11]

[Captaincheese]

How about this:

Unrusty E39 - Check
Low miles - Check
Sensibly priced - Check
Decent Engine - Check
Manual box - Check
Erm....Holder on the front wing for travelling dictator's flag - Check

http://www.alphacarsnyorks.co.uk/used-car/BMW/5%20...

[Zonergem]

I like that, it's not far away from me and I miss having a manual car to punt about in.

But I rather fear that the previous owner was afflicted by incontinence.

[DoctorX]

olly755 said:

They do like a drop of front rubber, and keep an ear out for PAS whines: the reservoirs tend to go, taking the rack with them. Common problem. Plus I had to drive like a nun to get anything over 30mpg.

Mine had this issue, cost a grand to fix. Ford not interested. Apart from that, it was a fine car. No other issues of note. Open the tailgate and check the symbol in the fancy LCD dash display, it's naffness always made me laugh.

[TurboHatchback]

j4ck100 said:

TurboHatchback said:

Here's my new barge, bought on Saturday:



It's a Mondeo 2.5T Titanium on 52k and so far I think it's tremendous (also the only orange Mondeo I've ever seen). It has front and rear heated seats, front and rear parking beepers, heated screen, foldy mirrors and the biggest boot I've ever seen on a car (I'm 6'4" and almost have to climb in to reach the back). The reviews are quite correct, they are brilliant to drive, the suspension is just a superb combination of body control and ride quality, the steering is lovely, the brakes are immense and the engine is meaty and sounds delicious (when you can hear it at all).

As for fuel economy, I reset the trip computer for the 60 mile drive home and it said 38.3mpg by the time I arrived (not hanging around), a couple of 2 mile trips to the shop and that's down to 34mpg so I guess it's surprisingly good on fast roads and unsurprisingly bad on short trips (I have an MR2 for those).

The to-do list so far is get the cambelt done ASAP and replace the rear Firestone tyres with Eagle F1 Asymetric 3s to match the fronts, then drive it lots .

Wodya pay for it?

£4200

Max M4X WW said:

ACC as well?

No unfortunately, I'm not sure what the grill patch is about. Regular cruise will suffice anyway.

olly755 said:

They do like a drop of front rubber, and keep an ear out for PAS whines: the reservoirs tend to go, taking the rack with them. Common problem. Plus I had to drive like a nun to get anything over 30mpg.

Useful to know, I'll look out for it.

[Prinny]

mccrackenj said:

r129sl said:

0a said:

A reminder. Well really just a notice as I have been terrible at promoting this event.

The next barge 1-5 meet is next Sunday at the York Railway Museum, at 11am. I'm definitely going to be there, r129 was signed up so hopefully he will come, and Plinth has confirmed offline.

Perhaps it's not too late to get some numbers: http://doodle.com/poll/2iebfe2237i8n6pb

All welcome, we usually have a nice time looking at the cars and then potter about the museum.

I'm definitely coming: have made arrangements to stay nearby and spent the weekend cleaning up the 190 for the purpose.

It is not necessary to buy a barge for the meeting but it does provide a good excuse.

I'll be there, avec Mrs. Any suggestions for where to congregate at 11:00 before we bomb-burst all over the place? Just loiter on the car park spotting 'thread' vehicles as they come in? Or is it 'pink carnations & rolled-up copies of The Times'?

Will be there too, avec 760 (with fresh mps4 no less). Not sure if they're really a barge tyre, but they seem great so far.

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

[0a]

mccrackenj said:

r129sl said:

0a said:

A reminder. Well really just a notice as I have been terrible at promoting this event.

The next barge 1-5 meet is next Sunday at the York Railway Museum, at 11am. I'm definitely going to be there, r129 was signed up so hopefully he will come, and Plinth has confirmed offline.

Perhaps it's not too late to get some numbers: http://doodle.com/poll/2iebfe2237i8n6pb

All welcome, we usually have a nice time looking at the cars and then potter about the museum.

I'm definitely coming: have made arrangements to stay nearby and spent the weekend cleaning up the 190 for the purpose.

It is not necessary to buy a barge for the meeting but it does provide a good excuse.

I'll be there, avec Mrs. Any suggestions for where to congregate at 11:00 before we bomb-burst all over the place? Just loiter on the car park spotting 'thread' vehicles as they come in? Or is it 'pink carnations & rolled-up copies of The Times'?

I think we had insider information regarding a particular car park - I will see if I can dig it out later. Then we can pick a particular spot.

[ian316]

BorniteIdentity said:

Any love for these old ships?



I just picked this up yesterday - scraping into the bottom of thread budget. It's been off the road for 18 months since it failed its MOT, and parked off road since Christmas. Being "an Volvo" it started on the first turn of the key (once I'd put a battery on it) and off we went. That was it. No fuss or drama.

It's actually quite a charming thing. The 2.0 engine is a proper old school slugger; the big lad who'd bat 11th and just come out with a grin wanting to hit the ball as hard as possible. The armchairs are most agreeable, visibility top drawer and road handling equally as good as anything of the time. Having had a W124 in the last 6 months, I'd say this exhibits greater "hewn from granite" qualities.

They also seem to be excellent value, compared with their contemporaries.

You've done well to get that for so little, when I was looking at these last year they were really strong money

[phil_cardiff]

TurboHatchback said:

j4ck100 said:

TurboHatchback said:

Here's my new barge, bought on Saturday:



It's a Mondeo 2.5T Titanium on 52k and so far I think it's tremendous (also the only orange Mondeo I've ever seen). It has front and rear heated seats, front and rear parking beepers, heated screen, foldy mirrors and the biggest boot I've ever seen on a car (I'm 6'4" and almost have to climb in to reach the back). The reviews are quite correct, they are brilliant to drive, the suspension is just a superb combination of body control and ride quality, the steering is lovely, the brakes are immense and the engine is meaty and sounds delicious (when you can hear it at all).

As for fuel economy, I reset the trip computer for the 60 mile drive home and it said 38.3mpg by the time I arrived (not hanging around), a couple of 2 mile trips to the shop and that's down to 34mpg so I guess it's surprisingly good on fast roads and unsurprisingly bad on short trips (I have an MR2 for those).

The to-do list so far is get the cambelt done ASAP and replace the rear Firestone tyres with Eagle F1 Asymetric 3s to match the fronts, then drive it lots .

Wodya pay for it?

£4200

Max M4X WW said:

ACC as well?

No unfortunately, I'm not sure what the grill patch is about. Regular cruise will suffice anyway.

olly755 said:

They do like a drop of front rubber, and keep an ear out for PAS whines: the reservoirs tend to go, taking the rack with them. Common problem. Plus I had to drive like a nun to get anything over 30mpg.

Useful to know, I'll look out for it.

Humph. When I posted about these in the last thread I was told by some cad that it was in no way a barge and in no way aspirational.

Glad you're liking it, I think they're a great potential purchase.

[Lowtimer]

Captaincheese said:

How about this:

Unrusty E39 - Check
Low miles - Check
Sensibly priced - Check
Decent Engine - Check
Manual box - Check
Erm....Holder on the front wing for travelling dictator's flag - Check

http://www.alphacarsnyorks.co.uk/used-car/BMW/5%20...

Apart from the ditchfinders, easily replaced, and the wing excresence, that looks highly promising. Given that it's only just up the road from the weekend barge meet at York I expect one of you will have snapped it up by the close of proceedings.

Edited by Lowtimer on Tuesday 2nd May 20:10

[W00DY]

Lowtimer said:

Captaincheese said:

How about this:

Unrusty E39 - Check
Low miles - Check
Sensibly priced - Check
Decent Engine - Check
Manual box - Check
Erm....Holder on the front wing for travelling dictator's flag - Check

http://www.alphacarsnyorks.co.uk/used-car/BMW/5%20...

Apart from the ditchfinders, easily replaced, and the wing excresence, that looks highly promising.

Mingebag spec 530i facelift with gingers? Got to have done public duty somewhere and may well have been abused.

[r129sl]

Prinny said:

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

Razzle?

[Prinny]

r129sl said:

Prinny said:

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

Razzle?

Hmm... this made me laugh more than I'd expected, mainly due to thoughts of a random onlooker seeing an eclectic mix of bargista in a car-park in York, all with a pink carnation, and some adult material. The possibilities are endless!

[Patrick Bateman]

As a buyer, I'd believe a genuinely rust free e39 when I see one.

[jke11y]

E39 just looks like a Jap import to me, has a lot of the usual signs; lowish miles, the front indicators, weird spec, parking pole mount on the wing and the stereo. Do not want regardless.

[edo]

W00DY said:

Lowtimer said:

Captaincheese said:

How about this:

Unrusty E39 - Check
Low miles - Check
Sensibly priced - Check
Decent Engine - Check
Manual box - Check
Erm....Holder on the front wing for travelling dictator's flag - Check

http://www.alphacarsnyorks.co.uk/used-car/BMW/5%20...

Apart from the ditchfinders, easily replaced, and the wing excresence, that looks highly promising.

Mingebag spec 530i facelift with gingers? Got to have done public duty somewhere and may well have been abused.

Offside rear door different colour. Cloth. Spanish.Flag holders. Its a no from me.

[Richie C]

MorganP104 said:

zym said:

r129sl said:

dirty_dog said:

zym said:

2002 BMW 530i Touring, Auto, 173,000 miles (!)
I've never owned a BMW, or an automatic, or an estate, and none of those criteria was on my shortlist...
However it seems to be in excellent condition considering the age & mileage, has FSH and a good MOT history.
So far so good, no warning lights, no scary sounds, everything still seems to work.

Not usually a fan of the SE but those wheels suit it well and you've got the best colour!

Seems the very opposite of madness.

I knew that post was tempting fate - tried to start it this morning and wouldn't even turn over, seems the battery has drained overnight!

This is a very common problem with old E39s. Fortunately, the fix is both cheap and (reasonably) easy to sort.

The cause of the battery drain is most likely due to a faulty FSR (Final Stage Resistor), also known as a FSU (Final Stage Unit) or "hedgehog" (Google "E39 hedgehog", and you'll see why!)

When on the fritz, this resistor (buried deep behind the centre console) causes some of the car's HVAC systems to stay switched on (albeit in standby mode), hence the battery drain. The good news is that the part is relatively cheap to buy, and you DON'T need to have the centre console or dash out to fit it (access can be gained via centre console side panel in the footwell).

Even better news is that because this is so common, there are LOADS of threads, pictures and videos all over the internet of how to buy and fit a new hedgehog.

After doing a bit of reading on the 'net, I fitted a new hedgehog to my own E39... And I am legendarily bad with the spanners, so if I can do it, anyone can.

Bon chance, mon ami!

Well done that man, quietly keeping this thread a cut above with some sensible, helpful advice. I'll go back to lurking now, as you were.

[TheLordJohn]

Prinny said:

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

I propose any marque-specific magazine you receive by virtue of being a member of the national club of which the barge you own is.
Not a barge, but I receive Porsche Post monthly. That sort of thing, so a Mercedes Club magazine, JEC/JDC magazine etc etc.

Also, C+SC gone down in my estimations as this months copy has about 8 incorrect uses of KPH in one group test!
It even says Km/H on the sticker Heseltine references!

[tobinen]

A poster on an MB forum used to refer to it as KMPH. Great.

[The Don of Croy]

r129sl said:

Prinny said:

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

Razzle?

'Jalopy' magaizine - sadly no longer in print.

[mccrackenj]

TheLordJohn said:

Prinny said:

Interesting sub question alluded to above though, given the diversity of the term barge, does a singular publication for thread denizens(be it daily paper or no) exist? I'd love to say C&SC, but it's not really thread appropriate, nor any marque-specific example either. Ideas?

I propose any marque-specific magazine you receive by virtue of being a member of the national club of which the barge you own is.
Not a barge, but I receive Porsche Post monthly. That sort of thing, so a Mercedes Club magazine, JEC/JDC magazine etc etc.

Also, C+SC gone down in my estimations as this months copy has about 8 incorrect uses of KPH in one group test!
It even says Km/H on the sticker Heseltine references!

As I only take the online version of MB Owners' Club, I'll have to print off a couple of pages off the website and carry them around. Sad.

I think we'll all be easy enough to spot. Looking at our shoes, mumbling, avoiding eye contact with anyone, talking to ourselves about Mercedes ball-joints, E39 dash pixels, LOOK! VELOUR!! Wives, if we have them, walking 20ft behind and pretending not to be with us.

I pity any poor sod not of this parish who just happens to turn up on the day in a thread-worthy barge, he'll not have a clue who all these sad morons are gathered around his 124/201/e39/e40/xj6/8/s etc.