Car Wash Horror Stories

Car Wash Horror Stories

Author
Discussion

CDP

7,459 posts

254 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
ambuletz said:
When I had my first car I used to take my gf (at the time) in them cos she found it fun.
That's quite an admission.

getmecoat

Glen-4r178

9 posts

103 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
I took my recently striped up Alpina B5 to the local romanian car wash establishment at the top of our business park. Everyone I had spoken to sung their praises so I Sat in the queue for a bit then they got to work spraying the car with the TFR out of the squeezy bottles quickly followed up by a swarthy looking chap with the atypical roll up hanging out of the side of his mouth, he quickly went to work blasting the front of the car at what seemed like feeler gauge distance, this then made me realise I needed to extract myself from Bmws finest heated comfort seats and interve sharpish. Alas I was too late. I now had, according to my lower front spoiler a ... 'PINA. The lance wielding car wash technician seemed rather non plussed about my carefully applied decal kit which had taken the best part of a day to fit ! He got a mouthfull and I gave my best angry stare for a fair amount of time until the 7 other swarthy technicians who all seemingly have huge amounts of arm hair rivalled only by Richard Keys csme over to support 'lance' It was at this point I decided to retreat to the safery and comfort of the car and realised the car had bizarrely locked itself. In the centre of the wash lanes and now with many other customers watching. Cue alot of 'well this has never happened before' and lots of arm waving. The car was running stuck in the middle and locked. Phone inside too ! Fortunately 'lance' was on hand to lend me his phone so I could call the wife to drop down the spare key. She wasnt best pleased either. 25 minutes of staring and pointing shame followed, and once keys were thrown at me from her car window and many expletives broadcast, seemed I had interuped an ironing session! I was back in business. Ready to shoot, it seemed though as they had actually carried on washing the rest of the car, from a safer distance im pleased to note they required paying. Well 8 angry looking Richard Keys did it and I reluctantly handed over my 7 pounds. Feeling like a proper donut, the B5 and me were soon gone and never to return ! Cost me another £40 to get the ALPINA decal replaced. Caveat emptor !!

Dodgey_Rog

1,986 posts

260 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
I needed my 911 detailed after being away for a few weeks, my boss used a company up the road and recommended them. He takes his Merc C Class and his wife's SL, so I thought if it was good enough for him, I'd give it a go.

Went to collect, about $50 including tip etc, I drive up the road, the indicator stalk won't stay turning left! There was a broken piece of plastic in the mechanism which was stopping the turn lock from operating. I turn a couple of corners, then all of a sudden, i get a load of water dumped on my feet. (I think they'd washed it on a slope so the vents somehow got water in there and slowly worked their way out after some accelerating and corners.

Needless to say, I got back to the office and rang the owner, who denied all knowledge. Subsequently, a few months later they scraped the side of my bosses wife's SL which he was mega pissed about.

I dropped my car into the local Porsche specialist who quickly sorted out the impromptu water feature quickly and freed up the indicator stalk, all very annoying but glad it got sorted. They recommended a valeting company closer that does a fantastic job and they even pick up and drop off, which is great!

Muddle238

3,898 posts

113 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
The only person I'd allow to wash my car would be a professional detailer. A vast majority (me included, a few years back) think there's nothing more to washing a car other than a sponge and soapy water. Very few understand the different layers (primer, base, clear), the processes (polishing is actually abrasive as opposed to a coating that most seem to think) and the safe washing (pre-wash, wash mitts, drying towels not chamois etc).

Having detailed my car and have it in great condition, I can't see the point in paying some careless scrote to undo all my hard work

wjwren

4,484 posts

135 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
1) Had a recall on a VW Polo years ago, garage washed it and left keys inside, after a couple of mins the car had a feature that it would lock itself. They phoned me up to say the car was ready but could I bring a spare key down pronto as my car was blocking the car wash

2) Mrs never washes her car, I nagged her into taking it through the car wash at Asda. Went through and it stopped, made a funny noise and the brushes stopped spinning, then both brush arms came in, dragged them self down the side of the car badly scratching both wings. We were then trapped inside the car as I couldnt get the door open! Had to climb out the window and get help. Asda sent us a cheque for £480 which was the paint job quote I had.

3) Not car wash related but borrowed my dad's Karcher K7. Pretty powerful. Thought id clean the mrs car and stripped large chunks of paint off the bonnet. She went mental.

xjay1337

15,966 posts

118 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
Muddle238 said:
The only person I'd allow to wash my car would be a professional detailer. A vast majority (me included, a few years back) think there's nothing more to washing a car other than a sponge and soapy water. Very few understand the different layers (primer, base, clear), the processes (polishing is actually abrasive as opposed to a coating that most seem to think) and the safe washing (pre-wash, wash mitts, drying towels not chamois etc).

Having detailed my car and have it in great condition, I can't see the point in paying some careless scrote to undo all my hard work
To be fair its not too hard :-)
I agree the cheap polski / eastern European car washes are a false economy if you care at l about your car!

anonymous-user

54 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
My neighbour takes his car to a local hand car wash every weekend. His last two brand new BMWs have been wrecked within 3 months; all the zinc plating stripped off the brake calipers and shockingly badly swirled paint.

There is another hand car wash nearby who are trained and supplied by Autoglym, including non-acidic wheel cleaner. They are the only people I will let near my cars as they clean it as I do.

Trabi601

4,865 posts

95 months

Tuesday 18th April 2017
quotequote all
milesr3 said:
My neighbour takes his car to a local hand car wash every weekend. His last two brand new BMWs have been wrecked within 3 months; all the zinc plating stripped off the brake calipers and shockingly badly swirled paint.
You must be my neighbour wink

In my defence, my BMW is a business tool. So long as it looks clean and tidy for the boss and customers, I don't really care. I'll look after it, but I'm not going out of my way to 2-bucket hand wash it, as it has a guaranteed value to the business when I hand it back.

Breener

22 posts

140 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
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"Good afternoon sir, before we proceed may i ask if you are sporting a stony chamois? One detests a swirly bonnet you see...."

Forget stone chips in buff cloths - that is far down the list of concerns in our local 'manned' cars-wash where the attendants choose to wear studded leather jackets or zipper-clad tracksuit tops! These are the kind of attendants who, though armed with a chamois, perform the majority of their buffing with their considerable bellies. Now while 'belly-buffing' may be part of their plan to increase efficiency in the work-place, a protruding metallic zipper, right on the apex of their bulbousness is enough to bring tears to my eyes. The audible 'clacking' of shiny jacket-adornments on the glass and panels as they smile in the window at me, chamois performing 10% of buffing, glittery belly working at 90%. That extra stretch to reach the corner of the windscreen, belly pressed to the bonnet, zipper being dragged further down by the paintwork to reveal the diamante infested t-shirt below........

I'm no fashion expert, and would never attempt to deny someone the right to (attempt to) look good at work, but please! Is there such a thing as a chamois onesy? Stone-free of course......

Bladedancer

1,269 posts

196 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
Trabi601 said:
You must be my neighbour wink

In my defence, my BMW is a business tool. So long as it looks clean and tidy for the boss and customers, I don't really care. I'll look after it, but I'm not going out of my way to 2-bucket hand wash it, as it has a guaranteed value to the business when I hand it back.
I think the point is to use a better car wash that won't wreck the car in the process, not that you must wash it yourself.

Trabi601

4,865 posts

95 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
Bladedancer said:
Trabi601 said:
You must be my neighbour wink

In my defence, my BMW is a business tool. So long as it looks clean and tidy for the boss and customers, I don't really care. I'll look after it, but I'm not going out of my way to 2-bucket hand wash it, as it has a guaranteed value to the business when I hand it back.
I think the point is to use a better car wash that won't wreck the car in the process, not that you must wash it yourself.
It gets washed when it looks dirty. I don't go around assessing washes before choosing one!

If it's dirty, the queue isn't too long and it's only a fiver, it gets done.

Or, it goes through a rollover wash when I'm visiting customer sites.

Life is too short to worry about the paint on a fleet car.

Crazy Don

76 posts

209 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
Growing up in Barrow-in-Furness in the early 1970s, imagine the excitement as some enterprising dude had opened an automatic car wash. My Father is filling up with fuel on a Saturday morning as the first customer of the day lines up for the car wash. His petrol filling is disturbed by the sound of automatic gunfire as the Vauxhall Magnum is peppered by nuts and bolts the local youngsters had tied to the large swirling brushes. I don't know the end of the story but it has always put me off using these machines.

mr alan

4,318 posts

190 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
In my opinion it all depends what you priorities are. The 15 year old focus shed goes to the local Latvians when it looks like it needs it, I havent and will never wash it myself. My SLK gets the 2 bucket and snow foam treatment.

Raudus42

163 posts

133 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
sc0tt said:
I once had my car scratched at a car was. He said I was using him as an escape goat.
An escape goat? Driven by a getaway shepherd?

kennydies

198 posts

118 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
I have advertised my XK8 for sale and a chap phoned up last weekend to come and look at it within the hour.

Against all my better judgment thought I would go to the local car wash and wax it when I got home to make it look more presentable.

When I got home to give it a quick wax I discovered that the car wash had ripped off my nearside indicator off the side of the car which I then had to explain to the prospective buyer.

SturdyHSV

10,095 posts

167 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
Raudus42 said:
sc0tt said:
I once had my car scratched at a car was. He said I was using him as an escape goat.
An escape goat? Driven by a getaway shepherd?
That went very well. It wasn't a damp squid at all.

On topic, a group of us had gone over to the Xscape in MK to eat, and as the old Clio was a mess, left it with the car park 'we wash while you shop' lot as it just needed to be cleaner, the paintwork was not important.

So, having driven this vehicle for many many years with no issues whatsoever, we return to the now clean car, retrieve the key, annnnnd the central locking doesn't work. Nothing at all. Odd. Open the (passenger) door with the key (bloody french) to no interior lights. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, it wouldn't start. Not even a click, utterly, utterly dead. Oh, and some how the passenger seat would no longer stay in position, just freely rolling forward and backward on the runners.

Suddenly everyone's English isn't so good any more.

After about 5 minutes of a group of 4 of them frantically pushing the car around the car park in order to bump start it, it is alive. We get back to the friend's house to drop them off, figure out how to click the latch back in to place so the seat will stay still, (we've had to manually click that thing back in ever since) and head inside for a tea.

Upon leaving, the car wouldn't start again (no surprises there) as the battery was utterly, utterly destroyed. After jump starting it to get home (it's now night time), we get about half a mile before the dash lit up like a Christmas tree and the accelerator had minimal impact on what the engine was doing. Dipping the clutch in it stalls instantly, it can no longer support itself.

I get the Mrs to pull in to a layby and dip the clutch but keeping her foot on the accelerator to stop the engine stalling. We decide to return to the friend's house to wait for the AA, but she doesn't want to drive it back. Cue some extremely tactical seat swapping whilst at least one of our feet remains on the accelerator pedal to keep the Clio alive hehe

Any pedal input sends the revs to 3,000rpm, but no more, and no less. Lifting the clutch up to try to move forward causes the revs to die, and no amount of throttle makes any difference. We turn around, with the hazards on. Each time the hazards flash, the headlights dip and the engine slows slightly, it's not exactly convincing, but it's still alive. 'Driving' is a case of slip the clutch up slightly to gain some momentum while the revs die, then dip it back in to let the revs build back to 3k, slip it up a little more, etc. etc.

Alas we get to a roundabout, which is rather busy, and having eventually seen a sort of gap, we make an extremely apologetic limp across to our exit. The Clio gets us home, at this point feeling like a dog with two broken legs dragging itself back to get us to safety.

Quite what they managed to do to that battery I do not know. It wasn't cold out, the car had never had any issues starting, it was only really used for long drives and had just driven about 20 miles. Yet they managed to obliterate the battery in about 90 minutes. Quite how they managed to break the passenger seat either, I do not know.

Alas the battery was replaced and the Clio has been fine ever since. I'm sure it will be branded as all a massive coincidence, but we won't use that car wash again either way hehe

Raudus42

163 posts

133 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
SturdyHSV said:
That went very well. It wasn't a damp squid at all.

On topic, a group of us had gone over to the Xscape in MK to eat, and as the old Clio was a mess, left it with the car park 'we wash while you shop' lot as it just needed to be cleaner, the paintwork was not important.

So, having driven this vehicle for many many years with no issues whatsoever, we return to the now clean car, retrieve the key, annnnnd the central locking doesn't work. Nothing at all. Odd. Open the (passenger) door with the key (bloody french) to no interior lights. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, it wouldn't start. Not even a click, utterly, utterly dead. Oh, and some how the passenger seat would no longer stay in position, just freely rolling forward and backward on the runners.

Suddenly everyone's English isn't so good any more.

After about 5 minutes of a group of 4 of them frantically pushing the car around the car park in order to bump start it, it is alive. We get back to the friend's house to drop them off, figure out how to click the latch back in to place so the seat will stay still, (we've had to manually click that thing back in ever since) and head inside for a tea.

Upon leaving, the car wouldn't start again (no surprises there) as the battery was utterly, utterly destroyed. After jump starting it to get home (it's now night time), we get about half a mile before the dash lit up like a Christmas tree and the accelerator had minimal impact on what the engine was doing. Dipping the clutch in it stalls instantly, it can no longer support itself.

I get the Mrs to pull in to a layby and dip the clutch but keeping her foot on the accelerator to stop the engine stalling. We decide to return to the friend's house to wait for the AA, but she doesn't want to drive it back. Cue some extremely tactical seat swapping whilst at least one of our feet remains on the accelerator pedal to keep the Clio alive hehe

Any pedal input sends the revs to 3,000rpm, but no more, and no less. Lifting the clutch up to try to move forward causes the revs to die, and no amount of throttle makes any difference. We turn around, with the hazards on. Each time the hazards flash, the headlights dip and the engine slows slightly, it's not exactly convincing, but it's still alive. 'Driving' is a case of slip the clutch up slightly to gain some momentum while the revs die, then dip it back in to let the revs build back to 3k, slip it up a little more, etc. etc.

Alas we get to a roundabout, which is rather busy, and having eventually seen a sort of gap, we make an extremely apologetic limp across to our exit. The Clio gets us home, at this point feeling like a dog with two broken legs dragging itself back to get us to safety.

Quite what they managed to do to that battery I do not know. It wasn't cold out, the car had never had any issues starting, it was only really used for long drives and had just driven about 20 miles. Yet they managed to obliterate the battery in about 90 minutes. Quite how they managed to break the passenger seat either, I do not know.

Alas the battery was replaced and the Clio has been fine ever since. I'm sure it will be branded as all a massive coincidence, but we won't use that car wash again either way hehe
Was it clean?

Baz Tench

5,648 posts

190 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
One of my first jobs was at a car body shop. As the apprentice, it was my job to wash the cars.

One day someone brought in a virtually brand new BMW 3 series for some new paint somewhere. The gaffer (who was a bit of an arse) asked me to mop it before it went back to the customer. I'd never used a mop and compound before, and cut a little too deeply into the paintwork on the edge of the bootlid, you could see the undercoat.

I didn't fancy owning up at the time, and the customer never noticed when he picked it up. I left not long after.

surveyor

17,817 posts

184 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
SturdyHSV said:
That went very well. It wasn't a damp squid at all.

On topic, a group of us had gone over to the Xscape in MK to eat, and as the old Clio was a mess, left it with the car park 'we wash while you shop' lot as it just needed to be cleaner, the paintwork was not important.

So, having driven this vehicle for many many years with no issues whatsoever, we return to the now clean car, retrieve the key, annnnnd the central locking doesn't work. Nothing at all. Odd. Open the (passenger) door with the key (bloody french) to no interior lights. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, it wouldn't start. Not even a click, utterly, utterly dead. Oh, and some how the passenger seat would no longer stay in position, just freely rolling forward and backward on the runners.

Suddenly everyone's English isn't so good any more.

After about 5 minutes of a group of 4 of them frantically pushing the car around the car park in order to bump start it, it is alive. We get back to the friend's house to drop them off, figure out how to click the latch back in to place so the seat will stay still, (we've had to manually click that thing back in ever since) and head inside for a tea.

Upon leaving, the car wouldn't start again (no surprises there) as the battery was utterly, utterly destroyed. After jump starting it to get home (it's now night time), we get about half a mile before the dash lit up like a Christmas tree and the accelerator had minimal impact on what the engine was doing. Dipping the clutch in it stalls instantly, it can no longer support itself.

I get the Mrs to pull in to a layby and dip the clutch but keeping her foot on the accelerator to stop the engine stalling. We decide to return to the friend's house to wait for the AA, but she doesn't want to drive it back. Cue some extremely tactical seat swapping whilst at least one of our feet remains on the accelerator pedal to keep the Clio alive hehe

Any pedal input sends the revs to 3,000rpm, but no more, and no less. Lifting the clutch up to try to move forward causes the revs to die, and no amount of throttle makes any difference. We turn around, with the hazards on. Each time the hazards flash, the headlights dip and the engine slows slightly, it's not exactly convincing, but it's still alive. 'Driving' is a case of slip the clutch up slightly to gain some momentum while the revs die, then dip it back in to let the revs build back to 3k, slip it up a little more, etc. etc.

Alas we get to a roundabout, which is rather busy, and having eventually seen a sort of gap, we make an extremely apologetic limp across to our exit. The Clio gets us home, at this point feeling like a dog with two broken legs dragging itself back to get us to safety.

Quite what they managed to do to that battery I do not know. It wasn't cold out, the car had never had any issues starting, it was only really used for long drives and had just driven about 20 miles. Yet they managed to obliterate the battery in about 90 minutes. Quite how they managed to break the passenger seat either, I do not know.

Alas the battery was replaced and the Clio has been fine ever since. I'm sure it will be branded as all a massive coincidence, but we won't use that car wash again either way hehe
Swap it I imagine...

James Junior

827 posts

157 months

Wednesday 19th April 2017
quotequote all
My ex-girlfriend told me a story from when she was a kid, about when her mum took her little Ford Fiesta into an automatic car wash with her and her brother in the car. Part way through the wash cycle, the car wash somehow sucked the rear windscreen completely out of the car and proceeded to barrage her little brother - who was about 5 years old at the time and sat in the back - with an onslaight of giant bristles, foam and water, before then half sucking him out of the car to much screaming. They eventually emerged with a car half full of soapy water, a severely soaked and traumatised Steven and a missing rear window.