Notes from the road - Audi A5
Discussion
MorganP104 said:
W124 said:
The brakes? Grabbier than Pete Doherty in a crackhouse.
Having driven a number of Audis (I even owned a couple), and having familiarity with who Pete Doherty is, I wholeheartedly concur with this most evocative of statements. 
Drove a couple of A3s belonging to a mate... both with brakes so ridiculously over-sensitive that you'd have to be a 25kg fairy with advanced muscular atrophy to operate them in any kind of progressive manner.
Have to laugh at everyone getting their knickers in a twist over the OP's review - FFS it was suggested on another thread that he did a more in depth review of the cars he gets to drive. OP duly carries out the request and folk piss and moan. It's the OP's opinion, that's all, and it'll be very interesting to read future reviews from someone not in the pocket of a manufacturer.
So he didn't like the interior - no need to turn it into an argument about why it is (in someone's opinion) a palatial space worth of a w
kfest... or get all huffy and try to make it about Audi bashing 
The new XC90 got a pasting on the other thread too.
Keep up the reviews OP
So he didn't like the interior - no need to turn it into an argument about why it is (in someone's opinion) a palatial space worth of a w
kfest... or get all huffy and try to make it about Audi bashing The new XC90 got a pasting on the other thread too.Keep up the reviews OP
ericmcn said:
Audi's in general are overpriced for what you get, I will take my AWD SpecB Legacy any day over one, they make nice performance car however but since most people nowadays are thinking of the pumps seems diesels are everywhere.
Oh yes, a Spec B Legacy 
Great post OP, wholly agree.
Mr Tidy said:
ensignia said:
What a blatant attempt at trying to ingratiate yourself with the members on here.
Might your post have anything to do with your A5 Ownership perhaps? ensignia said:
Mr Tidy said:
ensignia said:
What a blatant attempt at trying to ingratiate yourself with the members on here.
Might your post have anything to do with your A5 Ownership perhaps? 
W124 said:
Audi A5 today...
White. S-Line. Big wheels. Diesel. Auto. 190.
The full Brent.
I have to say, seldom have I hated a car as much as I hated this one. I loathed it. It was shockingly awful in every regard. It gave me a feeling of existential nausea so intense I fear even several pints of Landlord may not banish it.
Why? Well it's just so utterly ghastly. Let's consider first principles. The bloke I picked it up from also hated it. He'd had it for a week and could not figure out the relationship between the two screens - the one a virtual cockpit that replaces the standard dials, the other an ugly tablet thing stuck in the middle of the dash like a some cold-sore of late capitalist insanity. You see, they both show the same thing. The same information on two screens. He had become mildly obsessed with why Audi have done this - thinking that there must be a whole subset of menus to make it necessary. But there isn't and, when I told him this, he sighed, with the melancholy of a distant Caspian gull. Ah! The ennui! It flowed from him like water. Not only that but you could, if you were an absolute moron, also spec this car with a head up display. Then you could have exactly the same data in three places. That is just indicative of what a muddled, poorly thought through piece of design this car is.
The TT (which, with a petrol motor and small wheels plus DSG is a very good car indeed) proves this point. It has just the virtual cockpit. And it's fine.
So you start the thing with it's silly button. Of course they all have silly buttons. You've got the silly steering wheel - flat bottomed for no good reason on Earth. The seats are not too bad and they go pretty low but the are afflicted with the lamest massage function in the world - the operation of which eluded me even after twenty minutes of buggering about. Strong heaters though. Audi do that very well.
And then, alas, you must drive it. Audi cars are incredibly spec specific in the way they drive. Please bare that in mind if you are interested in one. Basic rule of thumb - petrol/small wheels good, anything else, bad. Lord alone knows why the S-Line suspension is so mind numbingly poor. Avoid it at all costs. If you drive a standard XF, as I did this morning, you marvel at how JLR can be so, so far ahead. Much better body control and and infinitely superior ride. It is night and day.
The brakes? Grabbier than Pete Doherty in a crackhouse. Impossible to modulate. No denying the power, but not far off a Citroen SM in their binary nature.
The ride. Well, very, very far off a Citroen SM.
Steering? Sweet Jesus! Appalling. Just plain outright bad. Once you have selected your driving mode, whichever you choose, you will find the steering absolutely ste. That's all there is to it. It may go round the corner in a way vaguely related to your intention, or it may not.
The thing is, this car is entirely configured around showroom appeal. Audi have realised that showroom appeal sells many, many more cars than the quality of said cars. At least in the short term, and beyond the next quarter they dare not look!
Everything inside and out is designed, not to make the driver comfortable or to entertain them but, rather, and this is key, to make them feel important. In charge. The way the seat belts tighten once underway, the shiny, shiny dials, the drive modes, the beeps bells and whistles - the way the steering, brakes and ride are configured to seem instantly impressive (rather than actually work in any way) - all this is a massive appeal to vanity. Not utility and certainly not real quality.
It's endemic of where we are. Instant showroom appeal and looking moody on the drive are all. ALL.
The car feels cheap if I'm honest. Certainly the list price of 41k is a bit mad. That price is, obviously, wildly inflated to make the lease deals seem cheap. Which they are but, then, that surely means this car - certainly the way most people will 'buy' it - that means this car IS cheap. And it bloody well feels it.
The A5 is, in short, a confidence trick. Don't fall for it.
Apologies for any spelling/grammar ssues. I knocked this up on an I-phone in a break at work. Waiting for an XC90 to have the driver's electric window motor replaced.
Ah, the slings and arrows!
Interesting read, although rather self indulgent and 'look at me' which is ironic compared to the assumptions made about the car and the driver ; )White. S-Line. Big wheels. Diesel. Auto. 190.
The full Brent.
I have to say, seldom have I hated a car as much as I hated this one. I loathed it. It was shockingly awful in every regard. It gave me a feeling of existential nausea so intense I fear even several pints of Landlord may not banish it.
Why? Well it's just so utterly ghastly. Let's consider first principles. The bloke I picked it up from also hated it. He'd had it for a week and could not figure out the relationship between the two screens - the one a virtual cockpit that replaces the standard dials, the other an ugly tablet thing stuck in the middle of the dash like a some cold-sore of late capitalist insanity. You see, they both show the same thing. The same information on two screens. He had become mildly obsessed with why Audi have done this - thinking that there must be a whole subset of menus to make it necessary. But there isn't and, when I told him this, he sighed, with the melancholy of a distant Caspian gull. Ah! The ennui! It flowed from him like water. Not only that but you could, if you were an absolute moron, also spec this car with a head up display. Then you could have exactly the same data in three places. That is just indicative of what a muddled, poorly thought through piece of design this car is.
The TT (which, with a petrol motor and small wheels plus DSG is a very good car indeed) proves this point. It has just the virtual cockpit. And it's fine.
So you start the thing with it's silly button. Of course they all have silly buttons. You've got the silly steering wheel - flat bottomed for no good reason on Earth. The seats are not too bad and they go pretty low but the are afflicted with the lamest massage function in the world - the operation of which eluded me even after twenty minutes of buggering about. Strong heaters though. Audi do that very well.
And then, alas, you must drive it. Audi cars are incredibly spec specific in the way they drive. Please bare that in mind if you are interested in one. Basic rule of thumb - petrol/small wheels good, anything else, bad. Lord alone knows why the S-Line suspension is so mind numbingly poor. Avoid it at all costs. If you drive a standard XF, as I did this morning, you marvel at how JLR can be so, so far ahead. Much better body control and and infinitely superior ride. It is night and day.
The brakes? Grabbier than Pete Doherty in a crackhouse. Impossible to modulate. No denying the power, but not far off a Citroen SM in their binary nature.
The ride. Well, very, very far off a Citroen SM.
Steering? Sweet Jesus! Appalling. Just plain outright bad. Once you have selected your driving mode, whichever you choose, you will find the steering absolutely s
te. That's all there is to it. It may go round the corner in a way vaguely related to your intention, or it may not. The thing is, this car is entirely configured around showroom appeal. Audi have realised that showroom appeal sells many, many more cars than the quality of said cars. At least in the short term, and beyond the next quarter they dare not look!
Everything inside and out is designed, not to make the driver comfortable or to entertain them but, rather, and this is key, to make them feel important. In charge. The way the seat belts tighten once underway, the shiny, shiny dials, the drive modes, the beeps bells and whistles - the way the steering, brakes and ride are configured to seem instantly impressive (rather than actually work in any way) - all this is a massive appeal to vanity. Not utility and certainly not real quality.
It's endemic of where we are. Instant showroom appeal and looking moody on the drive are all. ALL.
The car feels cheap if I'm honest. Certainly the list price of 41k is a bit mad. That price is, obviously, wildly inflated to make the lease deals seem cheap. Which they are but, then, that surely means this car - certainly the way most people will 'buy' it - that means this car IS cheap. And it bloody well feels it.
The A5 is, in short, a confidence trick. Don't fall for it.
Apologies for any spelling/grammar ssues. I knocked this up on an I-phone in a break at work. Waiting for an XC90 to have the driver's electric window motor replaced.
Ah, the slings and arrows!
Kierkegaard said:
I think the addition of pulsating indicator lights have encouraged the non-indicator brigade (the majority of Audi owners..) to now indicate. You know, because it's 'bling' now...
The problem with Audi is that there are two very decent brands using the same parts/engines/chassis etc. At a considerable saving - Skoda and SEAT.
Imagine for a while if BMW owned Hyundai. Can you imagine a RWD coupe that was 95% BMW but built in South Korea and had a Hyundai badge? And then put on for sale for £22,995 where the equivalent BMW up for £28,995.
Now I'm not going to ask PH which they would choose as there as many badge snobs on here than in real life, but realistically the above is Audis downfall.
To be fair, that's only true for the transverse-engined models (A1, A2, A3 and Q3). None of the others share a platform with a 'cheaper' brand. The problem with Audi is that there are two very decent brands using the same parts/engines/chassis etc. At a considerable saving - Skoda and SEAT.
Imagine for a while if BMW owned Hyundai. Can you imagine a RWD coupe that was 95% BMW but built in South Korea and had a Hyundai badge? And then put on for sale for £22,995 where the equivalent BMW up for £28,995.
Now I'm not going to ask PH which they would choose as there as many badge snobs on here than in real life, but realistically the above is Audis downfall.
BMW are doing it too now. The current X1 and 2-series Active Tourer share a platform with a variety of MINI models.
AudiSport said:
W124 said:
Audi A5 today...
White. S-Line. Big wheels. Diesel. Auto. 190.
The full Brent.
I have to say, seldom have I hated a car as much as I hated this one. I loathed it. It was shockingly awful in every regard. It gave me a feeling of existential nausea so intense I fear even several pints of Landlord may not banish it.
Why? Well it's just so utterly ghastly. Let's consider first principles. The bloke I picked it up from also hated it. He'd had it for a week and could not figure out the relationship between the two screens - the one a virtual cockpit that replaces the standard dials, the other an ugly tablet thing stuck in the middle of the dash like a some cold-sore of late capitalist insanity. You see, they both show the same thing. The same information on two screens. He had become mildly obsessed with why Audi have done this - thinking that there must be a whole subset of menus to make it necessary. But there isn't and, when I told him this, he sighed, with the melancholy of a distant Caspian gull. Ah! The ennui! It flowed from him like water. Not only that but you could, if you were an absolute moron, also spec this car with a head up display. Then you could have exactly the same data in three places. That is just indicative of what a muddled, poorly thought through piece of design this car is.
The TT (which, with a petrol motor and small wheels plus DSG is a very good car indeed) proves this point. It has just the virtual cockpit. And it's fine.
So you start the thing with it's silly button. Of course they all have silly buttons. You've got the silly steering wheel - flat bottomed for no good reason on Earth. The seats are not too bad and they go pretty low but the are afflicted with the lamest massage function in the world - the operation of which eluded me even after twenty minutes of buggering about. Strong heaters though. Audi do that very well.
And then, alas, you must drive it. Audi cars are incredibly spec specific in the way they drive. Please bare that in mind if you are interested in one. Basic rule of thumb - petrol/small wheels good, anything else, bad. Lord alone knows why the S-Line suspension is so mind numbingly poor. Avoid it at all costs. If you drive a standard XF, as I did this morning, you marvel at how JLR can be so, so far ahead. Much better body control and and infinitely superior ride. It is night and day.
The brakes? Grabbier than Pete Doherty in a crackhouse. Impossible to modulate. No denying the power, but not far off a Citroen SM in their binary nature.
The ride. Well, very, very far off a Citroen SM.
Steering? Sweet Jesus! Appalling. Just plain outright bad. Once you have selected your driving mode, whichever you choose, you will find the steering absolutely ste. That's all there is to it. It may go round the corner in a way vaguely related to your intention, or it may not.
The thing is, this car is entirely configured around showroom appeal. Audi have realised that showroom appeal sells many, many more cars than the quality of said cars. At least in the short term, and beyond the next quarter they dare not look!
Everything inside and out is designed, not to make the driver comfortable or to entertain them but, rather, and this is key, to make them feel important. In charge. The way the seat belts tighten once underway, the shiny, shiny dials, the drive modes, the beeps bells and whistles - the way the steering, brakes and ride are configured to seem instantly impressive (rather than actually work in any way) - all this is a massive appeal to vanity. Not utility and certainly not real quality.
It's endemic of where we are. Instant showroom appeal and looking moody on the drive are all. ALL.
The car feels cheap if I'm honest. Certainly the list price of 41k is a bit mad. That price is, obviously, wildly inflated to make the lease deals seem cheap. Which they are but, then, that surely means this car - certainly the way most people will 'buy' it - that means this car IS cheap. And it bloody well feels it.
The A5 is, in short, a confidence trick. Don't fall for it.
Apologies for any spelling/grammar ssues. I knocked this up on an I-phone in a break at work. Waiting for an XC90 to have the driver's electric window motor replaced.
Ah, the slings and arrows!
Interesting read, although rather self indulgent and 'look at me' which is ironic compared to the assumptions made about the car and the driver ; )White. S-Line. Big wheels. Diesel. Auto. 190.
The full Brent.
I have to say, seldom have I hated a car as much as I hated this one. I loathed it. It was shockingly awful in every regard. It gave me a feeling of existential nausea so intense I fear even several pints of Landlord may not banish it.
Why? Well it's just so utterly ghastly. Let's consider first principles. The bloke I picked it up from also hated it. He'd had it for a week and could not figure out the relationship between the two screens - the one a virtual cockpit that replaces the standard dials, the other an ugly tablet thing stuck in the middle of the dash like a some cold-sore of late capitalist insanity. You see, they both show the same thing. The same information on two screens. He had become mildly obsessed with why Audi have done this - thinking that there must be a whole subset of menus to make it necessary. But there isn't and, when I told him this, he sighed, with the melancholy of a distant Caspian gull. Ah! The ennui! It flowed from him like water. Not only that but you could, if you were an absolute moron, also spec this car with a head up display. Then you could have exactly the same data in three places. That is just indicative of what a muddled, poorly thought through piece of design this car is.
The TT (which, with a petrol motor and small wheels plus DSG is a very good car indeed) proves this point. It has just the virtual cockpit. And it's fine.
So you start the thing with it's silly button. Of course they all have silly buttons. You've got the silly steering wheel - flat bottomed for no good reason on Earth. The seats are not too bad and they go pretty low but the are afflicted with the lamest massage function in the world - the operation of which eluded me even after twenty minutes of buggering about. Strong heaters though. Audi do that very well.
And then, alas, you must drive it. Audi cars are incredibly spec specific in the way they drive. Please bare that in mind if you are interested in one. Basic rule of thumb - petrol/small wheels good, anything else, bad. Lord alone knows why the S-Line suspension is so mind numbingly poor. Avoid it at all costs. If you drive a standard XF, as I did this morning, you marvel at how JLR can be so, so far ahead. Much better body control and and infinitely superior ride. It is night and day.
The brakes? Grabbier than Pete Doherty in a crackhouse. Impossible to modulate. No denying the power, but not far off a Citroen SM in their binary nature.
The ride. Well, very, very far off a Citroen SM.
Steering? Sweet Jesus! Appalling. Just plain outright bad. Once you have selected your driving mode, whichever you choose, you will find the steering absolutely s
te. That's all there is to it. It may go round the corner in a way vaguely related to your intention, or it may not. The thing is, this car is entirely configured around showroom appeal. Audi have realised that showroom appeal sells many, many more cars than the quality of said cars. At least in the short term, and beyond the next quarter they dare not look!
Everything inside and out is designed, not to make the driver comfortable or to entertain them but, rather, and this is key, to make them feel important. In charge. The way the seat belts tighten once underway, the shiny, shiny dials, the drive modes, the beeps bells and whistles - the way the steering, brakes and ride are configured to seem instantly impressive (rather than actually work in any way) - all this is a massive appeal to vanity. Not utility and certainly not real quality.
It's endemic of where we are. Instant showroom appeal and looking moody on the drive are all. ALL.
The car feels cheap if I'm honest. Certainly the list price of 41k is a bit mad. That price is, obviously, wildly inflated to make the lease deals seem cheap. Which they are but, then, that surely means this car - certainly the way most people will 'buy' it - that means this car IS cheap. And it bloody well feels it.
The A5 is, in short, a confidence trick. Don't fall for it.
Apologies for any spelling/grammar ssues. I knocked this up on an I-phone in a break at work. Waiting for an XC90 to have the driver's electric window motor replaced.
Ah, the slings and arrows!
Great review - honest and on the mark. I owned an Audi A3 from new in 2002 and build quality aside the drive was very disappointing. I never forget trying one of the early Skoda Octavia VRS' a year after buying my Audi and thinking it did almost everything better than my car, aside from MPG as the TDI A3 was very frugal.
In fact, I can hardly think of a single current Audi I would take over the equivalent VW or Skoda/Seat.
In fact it calls into question the integrity of car magazines these days, where every Audi is an automatic 4 star car. Where has the edge gone from the likes of CAR, who used to have their pity "Good Bad and Ugly" section.
It's all just gone utterly corporate. Nobody really wants to rock any boats. Clarkson, for all his innumerable faults, is an interesting case. He is not frightened of them. They are frightened of him. I'm not sure you could make it as a car journo now if you took his attitude. In fact I'm sure you couldn't.
I did try. But perhaps my failure is more to do with my dreadful writing style and my self-aggrandising and unpleasantness as a person. Who can say?
I did try. But perhaps my failure is more to do with my dreadful writing style and my self-aggrandising and unpleasantness as a person. Who can say?
W124 said:
It's all just gone utterly corporate. Nobody really wants to rock any boats. Clarkson, for all his innumerable faults, is an interesting case. He is not frightened of them. They are frightened of him. I'm not sure you could make it as a car journo now if you took his attitude. In fact I'm sure you couldn't.
I did try. But perhaps my failure is more to do with my dreadful writing style and my self-aggrandising and unpleasantness as a person. Who can say?
Well I found it very interesting- as someone who doesn't get to drive many "new" cars, its good to hear others thoughts on them, after they have spent some time behind the wheel! I did try. But perhaps my failure is more to do with my dreadful writing style and my self-aggrandising and unpleasantness as a person. Who can say?
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