Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 12]

[Prinny]

J4CKO said:

Its a fairly obscure and contrived scenario that involves an event at a country pile where there are attractive bohemian women who know, or care what you drive, that know what a Renault 5 is, which would make them either car geeks or over 40, most would think you are driving your nans car.

Buzzkill.

On risk of death, I have to say that I know of one attractive woman over 40.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

SpeckledJim is on fine form today.

[tobinen]

I know quite a few attractive ladies over 40. Sadly (pour moi) all happily married.

[r129sl]

I’m saying nothing on this happy subject.

[Blown2CV]

tobinen said:

I know quite a few attractive ladies over 40. Sadly (pour moi) all happily married.

give it time. You'll have your pick of half of them within a few years. Divorcees are more fun, more filthy, and won't make you have kids with them or likely get married.

[SpeckledJim]

Krikkit said:

Do any cars costing less than a decent semi-detached do any knicker-snapping these days?

Well, yes, IMO. I believe you even own one of them.

The right girls like scars, motorbikes, and pretty little soft-tops.

An R107 might be the very sweet-spot of cross-gender appeal, at the moment. But, naturellement, these are shifting sands.

(ok, no more Delboy French from me.)

[TobyLerone]

Potentially slightly unwelcome into our corner of PH, since it sips from the black pump.

VW Phaeton 5.0 V10TDI

Top end of thread budget at £4,999.



http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2018...


EDIT - I was going to say, the Phaetons' diet may not be to everyone's preference, but nobody could deny the potential über bork factor that we have almost come to expect here, in our fold.

Edited by TobyLerone on Monday 22 January 14:07

[Blown2CV]

Blown2CV said:

tobinen said:

I know quite a few attractive ladies over 40. Sadly (pour moi) all happily married.

give it time. You'll have your pick of half of them within a few years. Divorcees are more fun, more filthy, and won't make you have kids with them or likely get married.

i've just realised this is the barge thread and not the match thread!! oops

[SpeckledJim]

Blown2CV said:

Blown2CV said:

tobinen said:

I know quite a few attractive ladies over 40. Sadly (pour moi) all happily married.

give it time. You'll have your pick of half of them within a few years. Divorcees are more fun, more filthy, and won't make you have kids with them or likely get married.

i've just realised this is the barge thread and not the match thread!! oops

As Venn diagrams go, that's basically a time-shifted total eclipse.

[Krikkit]

Surely not? Our expensive mistresses are the barges.

[BigBen]

SpeckledJim said:

Krikkit said:

Do any cars costing less than a decent semi-detached do any knicker-snapping these days?

Well, yes, IMO. I believe you even own one of them.

The right girls like scars, motorbikes, and pretty little soft-tops.

An R107 might be the very sweet-spot of cross-gender appeal, at the moment. But, naturellement, these are shifting sands.

(ok, no more Delboy French from me.)

Interestingly (or not) when my R107 was on the road I was about 30 years old and noted that it was like catnip to older (40+) ladies. Now I am a 40+ and recently single gentleman it has made me realise that perhaps I should stop fannying about and crack on with the restoration in case the same still holds true.....

[BIRMA]

TobyLerone said:

Potentially slightly unwelcome into our corner of PH, since it sips from the black pump.

VW Phaeton 5.0 V10TDI

Top end of thread budget at £4,999.



http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2018...


EDIT - I was going to say, the Phaetons' diet may not be to everyone's preference, but nobody could deny the potential über bork factor that we have almost come to expect here, in our fold.

Edited by TobyLerone on Monday 22 January 14:07

I've been running a V!0 Phaeton for about four years now, incredible car. Initially I was put off by comments on Pistonheads about the big bork factor (which is potentially there) but when someone who had actually run one for a few years like me came on and commented so I thought I'd give it a try.

Sod whether it's diesel as far as I'm concerned, the V10 has all the toys cooled seats that massage and enough torque to keep anyone amused.
In four years apart from changing the oil which is expensive and you have to use the correct type it's only had the PAS pipes replaced which if you get a decent independent sorted cost me £500 all in.
I've grown to really like mine and despite buying myself a rather nice Mercedes CL65 V12 twin turbo can't see myself getting rid of it until something really major comes along. General motoring around I get 25 MPG on a long run I've got over 39 MPG and boy does this car do long distance journeys well.

[Zonergem]

Apologies if it's old hat but have we had this W210 E55 AMG, 122k miles at £3995? MOT history suggests a sequence of finickity testers but nothing terrible.

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201...

[anonymous-user]

Prinny said:

Ye Gods! slightly more comments on lé car than I was expecting!

I personally don’t want it - as it’s a manual, it would have to be auto to have any charm for me.

That said, it’d be nice to let it see out it’s twilight years in Cyprus... Am giving serious thought to shipping out there permanently. Rust wouldn’t be an issue, and let’s face it, the weather is better. I think I’d take the 7 over, but the M6 would have to go - there’s really nowhere to use it (legally) over there. That, and import duties are somewhat punitive for high CO2 monsters - two of them might be too much.

Idle musing on a Monday morning when I really should be working a little harder... what was the topic again?

Slightly off topic Prinny, but could you not drive on UK plates with an annual pilgrimage for MOT, etc?

In other words does it need to be imported?

[Prinny]

I seem to be on a downer with ads lately, but...

• photos 2&3 - why the big flashy light for one side & not the other? Why’s the window trim so drastically colour-changed on the nsr compared to the rest?
• with the settings for the seats (it’s got more rear legroom than my 7!) I’d challenge the seller to actually get behind the wheel.
• horrid non-standard ICE/satnav thing & pre-historic phone holder would have to go.
• what’s that big green switch for?

Bizarrely, all that said, I do have fond memories for these. Back in the mid 90’s, these were just over-engined with the 5.5 v8, in a way that far out-classed the contemporary M5, etc. The M5 may have been the better car, but this was the one that I wanted.
(just not this one).

[Zonergem]

Well you definitely won't like this 91k £5k example which is lowered stanced has a flat O/S/R tyre

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201...

[Prinny]

Lord.Vader said:

Slightly off topic Prinny, but could you not drive on UK plates with an annual pilgrimage for MOT, etc?

In other words does it need to be imported?

In theory, yes... but it’s the same as here, you can do it if you’re non-resident, otherwise you should get things done officially. i.e. std 180 days/6mo EU maximum.

The costs to transport back and forth aren’t insignificant either. It’s around £1200 for a 20’ container (each way) if one were to ship it (and around 3 weeks), the alternative being to drive to Turkey, then get on a ferry (there’s no legit RO-RO ferries on the Greek side), and then go through the Greek/Turkish border. Let’s face it - it’s an epic road trip, but it’d get wearing to do it each way, per car, per year, and cost (neither car is economical, and hotels would be required, I’m not 18 any more) is probably more expensive this way! There are cheaper shippers, but I’ve not heard good things through the expat grapevine...

The big issue overall in terms of the potential move is that you can, upon taking residence, import one car, duty-free. Here’s why:
http://www.mof.gov.cy/mof/customs/customs.nsf/All/...
[snip]
(d) For vehicles with carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions (combined cycle) exceeding 180 gr/km:
(i) €2250 plus
(ii) €400 per gr/km of carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions over 180 gr/km.
[end-snip]

Now, the 760 is at 330 g/km or so, the M6 is 375.

That makes an excise duty of;
760: - 60,000 + 2250
M6: - 78,000 + 2250

In other words, fk me sideways...

There is a discount, based on age, you can play about on the excel form in the link to see, this actually makes it manageable. (It’s all good fun playing with the - ‘what barge do I want to drive in Cyprus’ - as once rust is cleared, it doesn’t come back. )

I still need to sit down & work out finances, check with work that it wouldn’t unduly affect my placements in Europe (I tend to be in NL/DE - getting direct flights from Cyprus is actually quite hard from those countries, but Athens or Dubai is just a hop away).

But I digress... back to barges!

[TobyLerone]

Zonergem said:

Well you definitely won't like this 91k £5k example which is lowered stanced has a flat O/S/R tyre

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201...

Hmmmm......

The bloke advertising it on Autotrader said:

No V5 as it's from Jersey

Is that a thing? Why no V5? Do Jersey not do V5s as we do in the mainland? Legit or not?

[Jimmy Recard]

TobyLerone said:

Is that a thing? Why no V5? Do Jersey not do V5s as we do in the mainland? Legit or not?

Even better, Jersey also has no MOT. Insurance and tax work differently there too but I don't know the details of that

[EarlOfHazard]

TobyLerone said:

Potentially slightly unwelcome into our corner of PH, since it sips from the black pump.

VW Phaeton 5.0 V10TDI

Top end of thread budget at £4,999.



http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2018...


EDIT - I was going to say, the Phaetons' diet may not be to everyone's preference, but nobody could deny the potential über bork factor that we have almost come to expect here, in our fold.

Edited by TobyLerone on Monday 22 January 14:07

Ohhhhh that's lovely. And as for the engine: torque of the devil!
Wasn't it Top Gear where they use a Tourag with the engine to tow a jet airliner? Phwoar