One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4
Discussion
djc206 said:
Me yesterday. Been abroad for two weeks driving a car with the indicator stalk on the right hand side, got back yesterday and drove across Sussex and Hampshire. Went to use the windscreen washers and managed to give the poor bloke driving his Focus very sensibly along the A27 my full beams. He duly moved over rather than brake checking me which was very nice of him. I tried to apologise with but it was dark so I doubt he saw, sorry Focus man!
You were lucky, I had similar to this at work driving a HGV the windscreen wash was a button on the end of the stalk for full beams. Travelling through the endless 50mpg roadworks on the m6 I washed the screen as I went over a bump and it flashed the lights to which a van that wasn’t even in my lane took offence to and started weaving about In front of the wagon arms out the window all the signs. Amazing how someone can get so enraged by something incredibly minor, and it was an accident! RSTurboPaul said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
Instead of moving off, as soon as the car in front starts to move, maintaining a one car gap. they leave big gaps, which then leads to a concertina effect on traffic flow, and as posted before can prevent many other cars behind, who are trying to access the next slip road from doing so.
This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
Someone stopped and not moving at all is different to someone moving off smartly and then maintaining a constant, slow rolling speed instead of speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down...This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
The people I have been referring to are those who think it is acceptable to sit there in traffic not moving at all, until a very large gap has opened up in front of them, as they are adding to both the physical length of a traffic jam, and the time taken for those behind to get through it.
If you were at a set of traffic lights which turned green, but the car in front does not move off, even though the road ahead has clear space to move into, you would not be very happy, especially if traffic from the right, and left then turned into the gap left by the non moving driver in front of you, such that you are not able to move forward at all.
If you think this sort of behavior would not be acceptable at a set of traffic lights, how is repeatedly doing it in a traffic jam going to be acceptable, or conducive to maintaining traffic flow?
Flibble said:
Oh don't start that again. Anyone posting about the traffic queues thing is a contender for this thread.
Some threads here are over 8000 entries long, but you don't seem to be whinging about those?
Only those with the attention span of a goldfish don't like long threads, possibly because they cannot cope with anything that is longer than five or so entries on a particular subject?
Pan Pan Pan said:
RSTurboPaul said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
Instead of moving off, as soon as the car in front starts to move, maintaining a one car gap. they leave big gaps, which then leads to a concertina effect on traffic flow, and as posted before can prevent many other cars behind, who are trying to access the next slip road from doing so.
This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
Someone stopped and not moving at all is different to someone moving off smartly and then maintaining a constant, slow rolling speed instead of speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down...This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
The people I have been referring to are those who think it is acceptable to sit there in traffic not moving at all, until a very large gap has opened up in front of them, as they are adding to both the physical length of a traffic jam, and the time taken for those behind to get through it.
If you were at a set of traffic lights which turned green, but the car in front does not move off, even though the road ahead has clear space to move into, you would not be very happy, especially if traffic from the right, and left then turned into the gap left by the non moving driver in front of you, such that you are not able to move forward at all.
If you think this sort of behavior would not be acceptable at a set of traffic lights, how is repeatedly doing it in a traffic jam going to be acceptable, or conducive to maintaining traffic flow?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_kYXpAEnd8
The recommendations in this video hit the nail on the head:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZptbRr4jJ8
If you can't or won't understand after all the explaining that has already been done, I'm not sure what else can be done to make it clear.
Edited by RSTurboPaul on Wednesday 11th December 11:22
RSTurboPaul said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
RSTurboPaul said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
Instead of moving off, as soon as the car in front starts to move, maintaining a one car gap. they leave big gaps, which then leads to a concertina effect on traffic flow, and as posted before can prevent many other cars behind, who are trying to access the next slip road from doing so.
This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
Someone stopped and not moving at all is different to someone moving off smartly and then maintaining a constant, slow rolling speed instead of speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down...This happened to me on a motorway near Sheffield. I was trying to get to the next off slip, but could not reach it, because an ignorant selfish gap leaver several cars in front was stopped there, with an enormous gap between his car, and the next car, hundreds of yards up the road.
When the selfish ignorant s*d finally deigned to move up, I and heaven knows how many cars behind, which all needed the same slip road, were only then able to get to the slip road and be on our way, All because of a single ignorant selfish big gap leaver.
The people I have been referring to are those who think it is acceptable to sit there in traffic not moving at all, until a very large gap has opened up in front of them, as they are adding to both the physical length of a traffic jam, and the time taken for those behind to get through it.
If you were at a set of traffic lights which turned green, but the car in front does not move off, even though the road ahead has clear space to move into, you would not be very happy, especially if traffic from the right, and left then turned into the gap left by the non moving driver in front of you, such that you are not able to move forward at all.
If you think this sort of behavior would not be acceptable at a set of traffic lights, how is repeatedly doing it in a traffic jam going to be acceptable, or conducive to maintaining traffic flow?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_kYXpAEnd8
If you can't or won't understand after all the explaining that has already been done, I'm not sure what else can be done to make it clear.
As stated several times before, I am referring to those who think it is acceptable to sit there in traffic, not moving, until a very large gap has opened up between themselves and the car in front.
That is the exact equivalent of someone in heavy traffic at a set of traffic lights, who does not move off when the lights have changed to green, even when there is ample space ahead for them to move into.
Yet some think it is acceptable to do this again and again when in a traffic jam making the jam longer in both physical length, and the time taken for those behind to get through it.
Particularly bad when some of those behind will be trying to access the next slip road, but cannot reach it, because someone up ahead has left a huge empty gap between themselves and the car in front.
Even this assumes that some drivers from the adjacent lanes, will not jump into the large gap, filling it to the point that the large gap leavers are themselves not able to move forward. in traffic sitting there not moving when there is space ahead to do so, has to be one of the most selfish, anti social things a driver can do to fellow motorists.
Edited by Pan Pan Pan on Wednesday 11th December 11:23
Pan Pan Pan said:
Some threads here are over 8000 entries long, but you don't seem to be whinging about those?
Only those with the attention span of a goldfish don't like long threads, possibly because they cannot cope with anything that is longer than five or so entries on a particular subject?
You and RSTurboPaul need to just go get a nice hotel room together and thrash it out.
Flibble said:
Pan Pan Pan said:
Some threads here are over 8000 entries long, but you don't seem to be whinging about those?
Only those with the attention span of a goldfish don't like long threads, possibly because they cannot cope with anything that is longer than five or so entries on a particular subject?
You and RSTurboPaul need to just go get a nice hotel room together and thrash it out.
Are you a moderator by the way? if not, why are you even bothering to make the comments you have on this particular subject. Just ignore it.
RSTurboPaul said:
This video shows the effect of those who speed up to keep up with the car in front and then have to brake hard again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_kYXpAEnd8
The recommendations in this video hit the nail on the head:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZptbRr4jJ8
If you can't or won't understand after all the explaining that has already been done, I'm not sure what else can be done to make it clear.
https://www.traffic-simulation.de/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_kYXpAEnd8
The recommendations in this video hit the nail on the head:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZptbRr4jJ8
If you can't or won't understand after all the explaining that has already been done, I'm not sure what else can be done to make it clear.
Edited by RSTurboPaul on Wednesday 11th December 11:22
Loads of scenarios you can model here (as used by traffic planners) . Leaving all other parameters unchanged, reducing the gap (in seconds) and or especially increasing maximum acceleration does significantly reduce congestion and increase average speed.
Whether that's a good idea for other reasons is of course a different matter.
Graveworm said:
https://www.traffic-simulation.de/
Loads of scenarios you can model here (as used by traffic planners) . Leaving all other parameters unchanged, reducing the gap (in seconds) and or especially increasing maximum acceleration does significantly reduce congestion and increase average speed.
Whether that's a good idea for other reasons is of course a different matter.
Cool site, thanks for posting!Loads of scenarios you can model here (as used by traffic planners) . Leaving all other parameters unchanged, reducing the gap (in seconds) and or especially increasing maximum acceleration does significantly reduce congestion and increase average speed.
Whether that's a good idea for other reasons is of course a different matter.
yellowjack said:
The stupid teenage girl yesterday who I nudged with my trolley, and her dad (I hope) who launched into an "Oi! Look where you're going" type rant at me. F
ing-well fk you, you pair of slack-jawed morons. Now at this point you may be thinking "well you are the knob, obviously, because you hit the poor girl with a shopping trolley". And if it had been on an aisle under "normal" circumstances, I'd agree and would have instantly apologised. But it wasn't "normal circumstances" at all. I was heading down one of those "travelator" things from the mezzanine/first floor section of the store, and the wheels of my trolley were locked into that grid thing on it's surface. The stupid girl had stopped right at the bottom of the travelator to look gormlessly at her phone, and her "dad" (again, I hope) stopped slightly ahead of her. I could neither steer my trolley, nor draw it backwards along the travelator because it's wheel were locked into the grid and there were people on it behind me. And I was so close to the bottom that there was no time between her stopping and me arriving at the end of the travelator in which I could have called out a warning. So the travelator turfed me off at the bottom, I was forced forward because there were people behind me who also couldn't steer their trolleys, and I inevitably ended up shoving her forward with the front of my trolley.
There's s simple solution to this too. Or maybe several simple solutions. Solution 1? Just stay clear of the end of the travelator unless you intend to use it. In which case, congregate at the foot of the "up" lane, well clear of those disembarking from their journey. Solution 2? Have some awareness and take a look around before whipping your phone out obediently every single time it "boings".
Anyways, I invited the "dad" to go boil his head (on account of his overly aggressive attitude), and he just stood there mouth breathing without further response while my wife hustled me away begging me to "not cause a scene". No scene was caused, and as far as I'm aware (judging by the way she didn't look up from her phone while "dad" demanded an apology from me for her stupidity) no teenagers required medical treatment as a result of this tale of woe. Lesson learned, really. I now know not to go to the supermarket on a Sunday again. I'll stroll over in the week, as I usually do, and avoid crowds of phone zombies and trolley lemmings...
...I've poured myself another cup of coffee now, and I'm sitting comfortably waiting while some of the festering pustules on the buttocks of humanity scrabble around for "holes in my story" and look for ways to make this entirely my fault and easily avoidable.
Sorry it's a bit late but I have one. I'm guessing that was Castle Lane Tesco? On a Sunday. In December. I can see where you went wrong, it was entirely avoidable, just steer clear for the whole month 
All those people who seemingly no longer know what a handbrake is for or how to use it and instead sit on their footbrakes in traffic queues.
Last night i had to get out and ask the mouth-breather in front if he would mind using his, as we had been sitting in a traffic jam and gone nowhere for 35 minutes. We were facing down a hill and he was on his brakes the whole time - the lights were slowly burning three holes in my retinas.
Last night i had to get out and ask the mouth-breather in front if he would mind using his, as we had been sitting in a traffic jam and gone nowhere for 35 minutes. We were facing down a hill and he was on his brakes the whole time - the lights were slowly burning three holes in my retinas.
Zetec-S said:
Sorry it's a bit late but I have one. I'm guessing that was Castle Lane Tesco? On a Sunday. In December. I can see where you went wrong, it was entirely avoidable, just steer clear for the whole month 
) sampling stand near the bottom of that travelator too. And yes, I normally avoid it like the plague at weekends because I live only half a mile away and can walk across on any other day of the week when it will be quieter. But this trip was a necessary evil. No good reason for it to be necessary on a Sunday in December, other than that my good lady wife had decided we needed something to eat due to a change in plans regarding eating out.Also annoying me about that store is the Deli counter not being open from Saturday evening to Wednesday morning. Especially as I do most of my shopping trips early on Monday mornings.
Glenn63 said:
You were lucky, I had similar to this at work driving a HGV the windscreen wash was a button on the end of the stalk for full beams. Travelling through the endless 50mpg roadworks on the m6 I washed the screen as I went over a bump and it flashed the lights to which a van that wasn’t even in my lane took offence to and started weaving about In front of the wagon arms out the window all the signs. Amazing how someone can get so enraged by something incredibly minor, and it was an accident!
Ok Ok Glen, I want to nominate myself as "El Knobbo"...heres why...HGV driving back in the 80/90's was my thing, every Christmas we would get hired Units in (front end to non lorry driver) which were always far better than the crap base models our firm supplied.
So on this particular day I had a Leyland Roadtrain...( I know Glen most here have never heard of them but stick with it please) I jumped in did the safety checks, yup the wheels were on ( this is the 80's Glen & a sunny day ,open roads was calling, remember them, no cameras etc) . So off I go loving the extra power etc , found the low slung gear stick a bit annoying but that 290 Cummings had me smitten. It was really sunny that summer so I went for the sun Visor(?) oh this one has a roller blind instead of the usual flip down OK, pulled it down....so now I put it up as pressed the only lever on the sun visor & it dropped...eh ??? So I tried pulling the actual blind itself...it dropped ..EEEKKK so now I am going along one hand holding the blind so I can see out jesus. I had to pull it all the way out & lean forwards over the steering wheel with the blind going behind my head as I manouvered onto the hard shoulder...So I deserve a belated "Knob of the week circa 1987...Plus it stopped me being trucker of the year yeah I can drive anything ...Glen knows What I mean ha Ha ha
Gerradi said:
Ok Ok Glen, I want to nominate myself as "El Knobbo"...heres why...
HGV driving back in the 80/90's was my thing, every Christmas we would get hired Units in (front end to non lorry driver) which were always far better than the crap base models our firm supplied.
So on this particular day I had a Leyland Roadtrain...( I know Glen most here have never heard of them but stick with it please) I jumped in did the safety checks, yup the wheels were on ( this is the 80's Glen & a sunny day ,open roads was calling, remember them, no cameras etc) . So off I go loving the extra power etc , found the low slung gear stick a bit annoying but that 290 Cummings had me smitten. It was really sunny that summer so I went for the sun Visor(?) oh this one has a roller blind instead of the usual flip down OK, pulled it down....so now I put it up as pressed the only lever on the sun visor & it dropped...eh ??? So I tried pulling the actual blind itself...it dropped ..EEEKKK so now I am going along one hand holding the blind so I can see out jesus. I had to pull it all the way out & lean forwards over the steering wheel with the blind going behind my head as I manouvered onto the hard shoulder...So I deserve a belated "Knob of the week circa 1987...Plus it stopped me being trucker of the year yeah I can drive anything ...Glen knows What I mean ha Ha ha
This story has more 'oles than a wheel of Emmental!HGV driving back in the 80/90's was my thing, every Christmas we would get hired Units in (front end to non lorry driver) which were always far better than the crap base models our firm supplied.
So on this particular day I had a Leyland Roadtrain...( I know Glen most here have never heard of them but stick with it please) I jumped in did the safety checks, yup the wheels were on ( this is the 80's Glen & a sunny day ,open roads was calling, remember them, no cameras etc) . So off I go loving the extra power etc , found the low slung gear stick a bit annoying but that 290 Cummings had me smitten. It was really sunny that summer so I went for the sun Visor(?) oh this one has a roller blind instead of the usual flip down OK, pulled it down....so now I put it up as pressed the only lever on the sun visor & it dropped...eh ??? So I tried pulling the actual blind itself...it dropped ..EEEKKK so now I am going along one hand holding the blind so I can see out jesus. I had to pull it all the way out & lean forwards over the steering wheel with the blind going behind my head as I manouvered onto the hard shoulder...So I deserve a belated "Knob of the week circa 1987...Plus it stopped me being trucker of the year yeah I can drive anything ...Glen knows What I mean ha Ha ha
"every Christmas we would get hired Units in"
"It was really sunny that summer so I went for the sun Visor"
...unless this was a Southern Hemisphere Leyland Roadtrain???
Aside from that, the actual meat of the story sounds plausible.
Gerradi said:
Glenn63 said:
You were lucky, I had similar to this at work driving a HGV the windscreen wash was a button on the end of the stalk for full beams. Travelling through the endless 50mpg roadworks on the m6 I washed the screen as I went over a bump and it flashed the lights to which a van that wasn’t even in my lane took offence to and started weaving about In front of the wagon arms out the window all the signs. Amazing how someone can get so enraged by something incredibly minor, and it was an accident!
Ok Ok Glen, I want to nominate myself as "El Knobbo"...heres why...HGV driving back in the 80/90's was my thing, every Christmas we would get hired Units in (front end to non lorry driver) which were always far better than the crap base models our firm supplied.
So on this particular day I had a Leyland Roadtrain...( I know Glen most here have never heard of them but stick with it please) I jumped in did the safety checks, yup the wheels were on ( this is the 80's Glen & a sunny day ,open roads was calling, remember them, no cameras etc) . So off I go loving the extra power etc , found the low slung gear stick a bit annoying but that 290 Cummings had me smitten. It was really sunny that summer so I went for the sun Visor(?) oh this one has a roller blind instead of the usual flip down OK, pulled it down....so now I put it up as pressed the only lever on the sun visor & it dropped...eh ??? So I tried pulling the actual blind itself...it dropped ..EEEKKK so now I am going along one hand holding the blind so I can see out jesus. I had to pull it all the way out & lean forwards over the steering wheel with the blind going behind my head as I manouvered onto the hard shoulder...So I deserve a belated "Knob of the week circa 1987...Plus it stopped me being trucker of the year yeah I can drive anything ...Glen knows What I mean ha Ha ha
I know the ones! I had a similar ‘incident’ when first drive an MAN (awful) and the steering wheel had been put in the ‘power nap time’ horizontal position and instead of a normal button on the column like any normal manufacturer it was a foot button under the carpet to the side of the seat that you couldn’t see! That’s was an interesting journey! You mention a gearstick that’s probably over the heads of most modern HGV drivers
Another Supermarket one I'm afraid. My wife and I were in Sainsburys a couple of Sundays ago, queueing at the till with everything on the conveyor belt, waiting for the customers in front to bag their shopping and pay. I could see in the corner of my eye an old lady with a bottle of port walking up and down looking for an empty till. She gave up and stood behind me, muttering "fks sake it's so busy." I gave it a few seconds and thought I'd be nice and let her go in front of us, good deed and all that. She was very thankful and squeezed past our trolley and stood next to my wife. While waiting for the people in front to go, She turned to my wife and said:
"When are you due?"
It's at this point I should state my wife is not pregnant. Nor is she the shape of someone that could be confused for being pregnant.
Absolute Knob!!!
ks sake it's so busy." I gave it a few seconds and thought I'd be nice and let her go in front of us, good deed and all that. She was very thankful and squeezed past our trolley and stood next to my wife. While waiting for the people in front to go, She turned to my wife and said:"When are you due?"
It's at this point I should state my wife is not pregnant. Nor is she the shape of someone that could be confused for being pregnant.
Absolute Knob!!!
PartsMonkey said:
Another Supermarket one I'm afraid. My wife and I were in Sainsburys a couple of Sundays ago, queueing at the till with everything on the conveyor belt, waiting for the customers in front to bag their shopping and pay. I could see in the corner of my eye an old lady with a bottle of port walking up and down looking for an empty till. She gave up and stood behind me, muttering "fks sake it's so busy." I gave it a few seconds and thought I'd be nice and let her go in front of us, good deed and all that. She was very thankful and squeezed past our trolley and stood next to my wife. While waiting for the people in front to go, She turned to my wife and said:
"When are you due?"
It's at this point I should state my wife is not pregnant. Nor is she the shape of someone that could be confused for being pregnant.
Absolute Knob!!!
You sort of brought this on yourself, I'm afraid.ks sake it's so busy." I gave it a few seconds and thought I'd be nice and let her go in front of us, good deed and all that. She was very thankful and squeezed past our trolley and stood next to my wife. While waiting for the people in front to go, She turned to my wife and said:"When are you due?"
It's at this point I should state my wife is not pregnant. Nor is she the shape of someone that could be confused for being pregnant.
Absolute Knob!!!
Why you'd offer anyone who'd foul the air with that language in a public place a place in front of you is beyond me.
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