One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4
Discussion
Drew106 said:
HTP99 said:
Drew106 said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me. Loosing my wedding ring for the second time in under two years married. The first time we had to locate it in a one tonne bag of broken plasterboard. This time, missing since Wednesday, I had tried all avenues, bins, torch through gaps in floorboards, under everything, nowhere to be seen. Finally resigned myself to the fact it was gone, when the wife text, having found it on the ground over her allotment. Phew, time to superglue it to my finger!
Is it perhaps a little too small? I don't think rings should be slipping off your finger.
..I wasn't.
I did mean too big. I clearly just have a backwards brain!
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
I just had an epiphany as to how a snug ring came off. On the evening in question I had a craving for a dirty doner kebab, having not had one for yonks. I bought the wife some spicy chips, and took them to the allotment. You know that bit at the end of the kebab, when the grease has built up and drips? Yep, straight on to my fingers, allowing ring to slid off at the first opportunity!
Slippy ring is a common side effect after a dirty kebab. Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me. Loosing my wedding ring for the second time in under two years married. The first time we had to locate it in a one tonne bag of broken plasterboard. This time, missing since Wednesday, I had tried all avenues, bins, torch through gaps in floorboards, under everything, nowhere to be seen. Finally resigned myself to the fact it was gone, when the wife text, having found it on the ground over her allotment. Phew, time to superglue it to my finger!
sounds like it needs tightening up, or maybe you need to put on a few stone as is customary when newly married!Blown2CV said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me. Loosing my wedding ring for the second time in under two years married. The first time we had to locate it in a one tonne bag of broken plasterboard. This time, missing since Wednesday, I had tried all avenues, bins, torch through gaps in floorboards, under everything, nowhere to be seen. Finally resigned myself to the fact it was gone, when the wife text, having found it on the ground over her allotment. Phew, time to superglue it to my finger!
sounds like it needs tightening up, or maybe you need to put on a few stone as is customary when newly married!See the above I posted, it was kebab grease spilling down on to my ring finger lubricating it, I had an epiphany yesterday (the following joke post was pretty funny too!)
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me, I can't put on weight if I tried, much to the envy of my wife. I could have a month of fry ups for breakfasts, Sunday roasts for lunch + tea, and a greasy takeaway after five pints in the pub, end I'd not move a pound over 11 stone. Not bad going being 41!
See the above I posted, it was kebab grease spilling down on to my ring finger lubricating it, I had an epiphany yesterday (the following joke post was pretty funny too!)
I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but i fear you will never achieve a PH-worthy, powerful, director's physique. You should leave, quietly, now. See the above I posted, it was kebab grease spilling down on to my ring finger lubricating it, I had an epiphany yesterday (the following joke post was pretty funny too!)
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Blown2CV said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me. Loosing my wedding ring for the second time in under two years married. The first time we had to locate it in a one tonne bag of broken plasterboard. This time, missing since Wednesday, I had tried all avenues, bins, torch through gaps in floorboards, under everything, nowhere to be seen. Finally resigned myself to the fact it was gone, when the wife text, having found it on the ground over her allotment. Phew, time to superglue it to my finger!
sounds like it needs tightening up, or maybe you need to put on a few stone as is customary when newly married!See the above I posted, it was kebab grease spilling down on to my ring finger lubricating it, I had an epiphany yesterday (the following joke post was pretty funny too!)
fatboy18 said:
My mate lost his Wedding ring, we were Fishing in Southern Ireland, he mixed up a ball of groundbait and threw it into the lake, he then realised his ring was in the Groundbait! There's probably a large Carp swimming around with a wedding ring inside it now
My dad did too, on his honeymoon. Smacked his hands together to clear sand off them on a Norfolk beach, and the ring went skywards, landing in a sand dune, never to be seen again. I felt cursed! Blown2CV said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Blown2CV said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
Me. Loosing my wedding ring for the second time in under two years married. The first time we had to locate it in a one tonne bag of broken plasterboard. This time, missing since Wednesday, I had tried all avenues, bins, torch through gaps in floorboards, under everything, nowhere to be seen. Finally resigned myself to the fact it was gone, when the wife text, having found it on the ground over her allotment. Phew, time to superglue it to my finger!
sounds like it needs tightening up, or maybe you need to put on a few stone as is customary when newly married!See the above I posted, it was kebab grease spilling down on to my ring finger lubricating it, I had an epiphany yesterday (the following joke post was pretty funny too!)
Multiple counts of knobbery from the weapons-grade pillock in the grey Citroen Belingo I experienced half an hour or so ago.
> Count 1: Driving with a beanie hat pulled down so far over his head as to obscure the entirety of his eyebrows.
> Count 2: Failure to obey a "priority to oncoming vehicles" sign on one of those traffic calming gates, and failure to stop at "Give Way" line.
> Count 3: Intentionally swerving towards my car as I pass aforementioned obstacle.
> Count 4: Performing an over-the-pavement U-turn in a failed attempt to follow me after (1-3) whilst apoplectic with rage (?)
Nowt as queer as folk.
> Count 1: Driving with a beanie hat pulled down so far over his head as to obscure the entirety of his eyebrows.
> Count 2: Failure to obey a "priority to oncoming vehicles" sign on one of those traffic calming gates, and failure to stop at "Give Way" line.
> Count 3: Intentionally swerving towards my car as I pass aforementioned obstacle.
> Count 4: Performing an over-the-pavement U-turn in a failed attempt to follow me after (1-3) whilst apoplectic with rage (?)
Nowt as queer as folk.
The four Knobheads who undertook me in a 30mph zone, each on quad bikes and scattering men, women and children aside, as the families attempted to cross the road on a busy Bank Holiday Monday on Brighton's seafront.
Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
993kimbo said:
The four Knobheads who undertook me in a 30mph zone, each on quad bikes and scattering men, women and children aside, as the families attempted to cross the road on a busy Bank Holiday Monday on Brighton's seafront.
Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
Probably in a rush to get back to their caravans for lunch! Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
HTP99 said:
993kimbo said:
The four Knobheads who undertook me in a 30mph zone, each on quad bikes and scattering men, women and children aside, as the families attempted to cross the road on a busy Bank Holiday Monday on Brighton's seafront.
Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
Probably in a rush to get back to their caravans for lunch! Ear-bleedingly loud and tinny exhausts. Drivers wore shorts and t-shirts, no helmets and one of them flicked the v-sign to the Gatso camera as he went under it. I know what 60mph looks like and I'd guess they were doing 90.
I wish them all intense and painful gravel rash.
The 2 Focus's (Foci ?) yesterday. The first one took umbrage that a car coming from the opposite direction, and turning left, had got to the mini roundabout before him, so went the wrong side of the roundabout to try and get as close as possible when he was turning right.
A couple of hundred yards later, entering a 20 limit with huge speed bumps, the car in front of me slowed down a bit too much for Mr Impatient in another Focus a few cars behind me. So he decided to floor it and overtake all of us, hitting his bumper on the speed bump and then noticing that the reason we had all slowed down was the horse now in front of him. Somehow, he managed to avoid hitting anything and raced off up the road. I was hoping to see him parked in a hedge round the corner, but unfortunately not.
A couple of hundred yards later, entering a 20 limit with huge speed bumps, the car in front of me slowed down a bit too much for Mr Impatient in another Focus a few cars behind me. So he decided to floor it and overtake all of us, hitting his bumper on the speed bump and then noticing that the reason we had all slowed down was the horse now in front of him. Somehow, he managed to avoid hitting anything and raced off up the road. I was hoping to see him parked in a hedge round the corner, but unfortunately not.
Fatal stabbing outside my house, crime tent up and police tape everywhere. A lady decides that walking the 150m diversion around the next street is too far and tries to duck under the tape and walk straight past the tent. Police tape exists for a reason, and that reason is not for you to practice limbo.
This chap building a fishing cabin out of Lego....only he doesn't know how to build a Lego house so he cable ties the bricks together...and then has to take it all apart again...and then decides to put a wood burner in a plastic house....oh and puts foam insulation as a roof...and then is surprised when the stove melts the insulation and the plastic chimney. All around his kids who'll be quite happily breathing toxic fumes...
I'm not sure if this is a piss take video series but I don't think so
https://youtu.be/EO7Q9rGfrE8
I'm not sure if this is a piss take video series but I don't think so
https://youtu.be/EO7Q9rGfrE8
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff