One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4
Discussion
Centurion07 said:
Two people^ deliberately missing the point in order to have a pop at the poster. 
Indeed!If anyone can tell me where they live and what car they drive. I'll go and overtake them then cut them up and stand on the brakes.
But hey, don't you expect cars to stop occasionally.
My "knob" is pretty much every single
I saw yesterday exercising fk all lane discipline. The far left lane was just empty for miles! And the middle lane was full of dickless wonders doing 65!When I win the Euromillions I'm going to employ people to write messages on bridges overhead triple lane roads.
"Keep Left you
""Middle lane morons are paedophiles"
"If I can undertake you, then you probably finger your mum!"
etc
S1KRR said:
My "knob" is pretty much every single I saw yesterday exercising fk all lane discipline. The far left lane was just empty for miles! And the middle lane was full of dickless wonders doing 65!
When I win the Euromillions I'm going to employ people to write messages on bridges overhead triple lane roads.
"Keep Left you"
"Middle lane morons are paedophiles"
"If I can undertake you, then you probably finger your mum!"
etc
Alternatively, we could deploy the already employed Police to enforce the laws of the land. I saw yesterday exercising fk all lane discipline. The far left lane was just empty for miles! And the middle lane was full of dickless wonders doing 65!When I win the Euromillions I'm going to employ people to write messages on bridges overhead triple lane roads.
"Keep Left you
""Middle lane morons are paedophiles"
"If I can undertake you, then you probably finger your mum!"
etc
I vote the knobbers arguing ruining a good thread.
Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
bluezedd said:
I vote the knobbers arguing ruining a good thread.
Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
Be honest zeddo. Everybody.Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
janesmith1950 said:
GOATever said:
I was on my bike today. A bus overtook me, fine, gave me room, fine, almost immediately pulled in, hit the anchors, and stopped at the bus stop just to the left, not fine, fking wker, I nearly went into the back of him ( rim brakes and wet don’t do any favours ).
Don't you expect buses to stop regularly?king wker, I nearly went into the back of him ( rim brakes and wet don’t do any favours ). And you'd be OK if any kind of vehicle overtook you in your car and then decided to come to a complete halt in the carriageway ahead? The fact that it's a PCV licence holder just makes it so much worse, as the test standard is higher than for a class B licence, and the training is full of reinforcement of the fact that such a driver has a legal obligation to prioritise the safety of those around them in such a large vehicle.
Sadly, it's extremely common these days to be overtaken while riding a bicycle only to find your overtaker then indicating left to turn left ahead of you, or stopping to wait for oncoming traffic to clear to turn right. Whereas any driver with an ounce of consideration would simply have read the road and thought "I don't actually need to overtake that bicycle, which is plodding along nicely at 20 mph and will soon be clear of the parking space/left turn/right turn that I want to use anyway - I'll just stay behind and turn 3 seconds later".
It's not just bicycles at risk of this bell-endery, either. A couple of times lately I've had idiots do silly things while I'm in my car. Car ahead waiting to turn left out onto "my" lane waits. And waits. And waits just a little more, until I'm in the "if they pull out now I'm going to have to brake REALLY hard" zone. Whereupon they finally decide that they've done quite enough waiting for one day, and pull out anyway, causing me to brake hard enough to cause discomfort to my passengers. Then they compound it by slowly crawling along for a hundred yards, indicating to make a right turn. Often it's the case that all the while, the road behind me is completely empty, so waiting a little more until I'd passed would have cost no time of any consequence. Or if they truly were in a hurry, they could have pulled out sooner and I'd have barely registered them as an irritation, as opposed to now regarding them as an absolute moron.
The latest was a BMW M3 on the A338 through Bournemouth. We were approaching an off slip, and it was clear that this BMW driver in lane 2 wanted off, because he indicated into a gap several cars back as the junction identifier sign confirmed his exit. Then he popped back into lane 2 and jumped forward a couple of cars. He got alongside a nice gap that looked like it was plenty big enough to slot into and smoothly leave the carriageway onto the slip road, and he remained alongside this gap indicating left for some seconds. Then, as the broken line for the slip road opened and I was almost alongside it, he booted the throttle, surged past me (I was holding to the 50 mph limit) and then cut in front of me, applying too much steering and making it a left turn instead of a smooth drift to the left onto the slip. He had two wheels on the broken line, the offside pair went over the solid line as the slip closed. And only made possible because I spotted his idiocy in my mirrors and let off the throttle to make a space for him. What possible reason he could have had for abandoning a perfectly good space in which to safely leave the carriageway and instead making "one last overtake" of a car that wasn't even "competing" for places on the slip road, I don't know. He ended up in exactly the same position as if he'd safely turned off from behind me, heading up a slip road toward a red traffic light at a roundabout overpass. Therefore he, in my humble opinion, deliberately went to some effort to create conflict when there hadn't been any Earthly need. And if such idiots are willing to go toe-to-toe with two tons of metal travelling at 50 mph, why is it any surprise they are willing to do the same when the 'victim' of their appalling driving is 100 kg of soft squishy cyclist?
I witnessed a crash a few days ago too. Waiting at a roundabout at the end of the A338 where it joins the A31, I wasn't paying much attention to the cars on the roundabout to be fair as I was some way back in the queue. But the crash, although minor in the end, caused some significant delay to our queue. It appeared to have been caused by someone in the nearside lane on the roundabout wanting to "turn right" (take their third exit), and a car in the offside lane correctly wanting to get onto the A31. Either that or car 1 (nearside) was simply drifting lazily across car 2's lane to straight-line the roundabout. Whatever the dynamics of the situation, one car departed it's marked lane without making proper observations and caused a collision that added unnecessary delays to traffic coming up the Bournemouth Spur Road, and quite possibly will have added to the workload of the emergency services as the car drivers seemed in no hurry to move either vehicle while they appeared to argue with one-another over fault.
One from yesterday, bellend in a Hyundai 4X4 towing a trailer, I'm in front of him coming down a hill on a short stretch of D/C which links two round abouts, the one at the bottom of the hill is a motorway junction round about and I want to go left up the slip road and join the motorway, unfortunately said bellend is quite close to rear of my car as I brake to move right around the deep puddle at the entrance to the roundabout at the bottom of the slip road, still indicating left to signal my intent to join the slip road, Mr bellend charges up the inside of me spraying dirty water up the side of my freshly washed car!!!! 
Second knob this morning was a tanker driver who straddled both lanes of a D/C stopping me from overtaking him, no reason, I wasn't close to the back of his tanker, I could clearly see him in his mirror so he could certainly see me, but chose to drive up the middle of the road instead!!!
Second knob this morning was a tanker driver who straddled both lanes of a D/C stopping me from overtaking him, no reason, I wasn't close to the back of his tanker, I could clearly see him in his mirror so he could certainly see me, but chose to drive up the middle of the road instead!!!
bluezedd said:
I vote the knobbers arguing ruining a good thread.
Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
Also the lady that was pushing her trolley along sideways on the footpath outside tesco. She was wearing a raincoat with a hood up and I guess she was trying to avoid the wind.
A guy walking towards her had to dodge out the way before he got hit by her, and there were people walking behind her that she was delaying by being selfish and trying to avoid the wind and rain herself, while slowing everyone else down.
Also, fatties who block the enterance or exit of a supermarket.
Bonus points for trolley rammers who push forward too.
The stupid teenage girl yesterday who I nudged with my trolley, and her dad (I hope) who launched into an "Oi! Look where you're going" type rant at me. F
ing-well fk you, you pair of slack-jawed morons. Now at this point you may be thinking "well you are the knob, obviously, because you hit the poor girl with a shopping trolley". And if it had been on an aisle under "normal" circumstances, I'd agree and would have instantly apologised. But it wasn't "normal circumstances" at all. I was heading down one of those "travelator" things from the mezzanine/first floor section of the store, and the wheels of my trolley were locked into that grid thing on it's surface. The stupid girl had stopped right at the bottom of the travelator to look gormlessly at her phone, and her "dad" (again, I hope) stopped slightly ahead of her. I could neither steer my trolley, nor draw it backwards along the travelator because it's wheel were locked into the grid and there were people on it behind me. And I was so close to the bottom that there was no time between her stopping and me arriving at the end of the travelator in which I could have called out a warning. So the travelator turfed me off at the bottom, I was forced forward because there were people behind me who also couldn't steer their trolleys, and I inevitably ended up shoving her forward with the front of my trolley.
There's s simple solution to this too. Or maybe several simple solutions. Solution 1? Just stay clear of the end of the travelator unless you intend to use it. In which case, congregate at the foot of the "up" lane, well clear of those disembarking from their journey. Solution 2? Have some awareness and take a look around before whipping your phone out obediently every single time it "boings".
Anyways, I invited the "dad" to go boil his head (on account of his overly aggressive attitude), and he just stood there mouth breathing without further response while my wife hustled me away begging me to "not cause a scene". No scene was caused, and as far as I'm aware (judging by the way she didn't look up from her phone while "dad" demanded an apology from me for her stupidity) no teenagers required medical treatment as a result of this tale of woe. Lesson learned, really. I now know not to go to the supermarket on a Sunday again. I'll stroll over in the week, as I usually do, and avoid crowds of phone zombies and trolley lemmings...
...I've poured myself another cup of coffee now, and I'm sitting comfortably waiting while some of the festering pustules on the buttocks of humanity scrabble around for "holes in my story" and look for ways to make this entirely my fault and easily avoidable.
jamei303 said:
The bloke in a black Passat who emerged half way across a busy main road, holding up the traffic in one direction, and then impatiently inserted himself between the hearse and first limo who were proceeding to the crematorium in the other direction.
Was he trying to emulate The Inbetweeners? lolyellowjack said:
The stupid teenage girl yesterday who I nudged with my trolley, and her dad (I hope) who launched into an "Oi! Look where you're going" type rant at me. F
ing-well fk you, you pair of slack-jawed morons. Now at this point you may be thinking "well you are the knob, obviously, because you hit the poor girl with a shopping trolley". And if it had been on an aisle under "normal" circumstances, I'd agree and would have instantly apologised. But it wasn't "normal circumstances" at all. I was heading down one of those "travelator" things from the mezzanine/first floor section of the store, and the wheels of my trolley were locked into that grid thing on it's surface. The stupid girl had stopped right at the bottom of the travelator to look gormlessly at her phone, and her "dad" (again, I hope) stopped slightly ahead of her. I could neither steer my trolley, nor draw it backwards along the travelator because it's wheel were locked into the grid and there were people on it behind me. And I was so close to the bottom that there was no time between her stopping and me arriving at the end of the travelator in which I could have called out a warning. So the travelator turfed me off at the bottom, I was forced forward because there were people behind me who also couldn't steer their trolleys, and I inevitably ended up shoving her forward with the front of my trolley.
There's s simple solution to this too. Or maybe several simple solutions. Solution 1? Just stay clear of the end of the travelator unless you intend to use it. In which case, congregate at the foot of the "up" lane, well clear of those disembarking from their journey. Solution 2? Have some awareness and take a look around before whipping your phone out obediently every single time it "boings".
Anyways, I invited the "dad" to go boil his head (on account of his overly aggressive attitude), and he just stood there mouth breathing without further response while my wife hustled me away begging me to "not cause a scene". No scene was caused, and as far as I'm aware (judging by the way she didn't look up from her phone while "dad" demanded an apology from me for her stupidity) no teenagers required medical treatment as a result of this tale of woe. Lesson learned, really. I now know not to go to the supermarket on a Sunday again. I'll stroll over in the week, as I usually do, and avoid crowds of phone zombies and trolley lemmings...
...I've poured myself another cup of coffee now, and I'm sitting comfortably waiting while some of the festering pustules on the buttocks of humanity scrabble around for "holes in my story" and look for ways to make this entirely my fault and easily avoidable.
silverfoxcc said:
Yellowjack
Dont ever go into a witness box and say what you wrote a few posts back
I WITNESSED an accident...... then later on It APPEARS THAT.... so you didnt see it you saw the aftermath and made assumptions?
Sloppy posting 3/10 lol
Meh. I saw it happen, but it was quite a few car lengths ahead, and I was concentrating more on shuffling along in the queue, keeping gaps tight to avoid upsetting PH's resident driving Gods. So I didn't see who drifted into whom, but then again, I don't care who caused it, as it held me up and it was entirely avoidable. And if I were called to make a statement, I'd stick to the facts, whereas here on the interweb I'm free to make as many assumptions as I damned well please...Dont ever go into a witness box and say what you wrote a few posts back
I WITNESSED an accident...... then later on It APPEARS THAT.... so you didnt see it you saw the aftermath and made assumptions?
Sloppy posting 3/10 lol
Today's knob?
Well that'd be the Giulietta driver just ahead of me turning right onto Castle Lane from the Royal Bournemouth Hospital. They started off in "lane 2" and I was in "lane 1" at the traffic light. Directly ahead of me were two maaaaaaahoosive
YELLOW! double decker buses. Whoever it was driving the Alfa? They definitely need a visit to Specsavers, as they were alongside the second bus, which had definitely NOT "appeared from nowhere", when they indicated left and drifted left toward the bus. I hit the horn, and they woke up, braking to a complete halt. I then slowed behind them, and indicated right to pass them, when they recovered their use of their right foot, though clearly not their senses, and and roared off again, nearly wiping me out in the process. Then weaving between lanes, until they turned left at the roundabout onto the A338 Wessex Way from a clearly marked "straight ahead" lane. I almost wished I'd not bothered sounding the horn now, and let them drive into the side of a bus...Div on a moped at the weekend. I pull up at some traffic lights in the left lane, little man pulls up on his moped to my right. Both lanes go right and join a dual carriageway which is restricted to 40mph.
I keep left and take the turn, aiming to accelerate up to the speed limit. Moped man pulls away quite quickly as I'm very aware he's to my right. Trouble is that his bike is limited to 30mph. He reaches that top speed quite quickly by which point he's in the right hand lane barely ahead of me. He decides at that point he's moving to the left lane and promptly pulls straight in front of me, maybe half a car's length.
I have no issue with people going ahead of me by any means but if you are planning to go ahead of cars, make sure you can at least hit the speed limit. Secondly if you can't, firstly don't pull directly in front of them or maybe just keep left and let the faster traffic go past?
To add to the irritation, the guy had a camera on top of his crash helmet! I can't help thinking that he must film himself riding like an idiot or be one of those 'look how angry this person is' as he nonchalantly p!sses everyone off.
I keep left and take the turn, aiming to accelerate up to the speed limit. Moped man pulls away quite quickly as I'm very aware he's to my right. Trouble is that his bike is limited to 30mph. He reaches that top speed quite quickly by which point he's in the right hand lane barely ahead of me. He decides at that point he's moving to the left lane and promptly pulls straight in front of me, maybe half a car's length.
I have no issue with people going ahead of me by any means but if you are planning to go ahead of cars, make sure you can at least hit the speed limit. Secondly if you can't, firstly don't pull directly in front of them or maybe just keep left and let the faster traffic go past?
To add to the irritation, the guy had a camera on top of his crash helmet! I can't help thinking that he must film himself riding like an idiot or be one of those 'look how angry this person is' as he nonchalantly p!sses everyone off.
Me yesterday. Been abroad for two weeks driving a car with the indicator stalk on the right hand side, got back yesterday and drove across Sussex and Hampshire. Went to use the windscreen washers and managed to give the poor bloke driving his Focus very sensibly along the A27 my full beams. He duly moved over rather than brake checking me which was very nice of him. I tried to apologise with but it was dark so I doubt he saw, sorry Focus man!
Driving around a police car which has positioned itself across both lanes with lights flashing, to close the road, because you don't think that applies to you, and getting shirty with the police officer for berating you as such when there is clearly an ambulance in the road and a car on its side blocking you path anyway.
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