One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 4

[jamei303]

Alex_225 said:

Gormless f*ckwit on the M4 last night.

Car in lane 1, I am in lane 2 passing said car and approaching the rear of a Golf. Golf is doing 60ish and I am doing 70 so I indicate and move into lane 3. As I do, she indicates and moves out in front of me forcing me to brake.

There was then nothing in lane 1 and nothing in lane 2 yet she cut across me as I went to overtake! Utterly bizarre piece of driving. I waited a few moments and eventually moved back across to lane 2 and ended up passing her as she merrily drove in lane 3!

I literally cannot fathom what the purpose of the manoeuvre was other than the driver literally having no idea of what's around her and less of an idea of how a motorway works.

She probably needed to turn right at the roundabout in Chiswick or Llanedi

[Alex_225]

jamei303 said:

Alex_225 said:

Gormless f*ckwit on the M4 last night.

Car in lane 1, I am in lane 2 passing said car and approaching the rear of a Golf. Golf is doing 60ish and I am doing 70 so I indicate and move into lane 3. As I do, she indicates and moves out in front of me forcing me to brake.

There was then nothing in lane 1 and nothing in lane 2 yet she cut across me as I went to overtake! Utterly bizarre piece of driving. I waited a few moments and eventually moved back across to lane 2 and ended up passing her as she merrily drove in lane 3!

I literally cannot fathom what the purpose of the manoeuvre was other than the driver literally having no idea of what's around her and less of an idea of how a motorway works.

She probably needed to turn right at the roundabout in Chiswick or Llanedi

Hahaha no idea mate!

I mean it would have been an odd move anyway but hardly surprising people being in completely the wrong lane.

Second time in my driving life I've had someone cut across me as I'm overtaking as they move from an empty lane directly into my path. The other was on the M25 where someone joined the motorway and went from an empty lane 1 straight in front of me in what became lane 2 as the slip road joined.

[Haltamer]

Rolls out in front of me with a dubious spacing

35 - 40MPH Through well sighted NSL (Classic, I know)

Cigarette flies out of window

Speeds up to 60 for the 40 past houses and junctions



Perhaps not able to concentrate on his smoke and driving at the same time?

[MellowshipSlinky]

I’d like to nominate the 3 Mercedes drivers today - looked like they’d just picked up cars from a compound and were driving to the dealer - a black G63 AMG, a black C class diesel and another non descript car.
All the cars had no trade plates or reg plates and still had the protective body covers on.

G63 seemed to take great delight in trying to wheelspin from each traffic light and scream from one red light to the other, with the C class trying to keep up.

[nonsequitur]

j_4m said:

Grahamdub said:

Frimley111R said:

Driving with your window down and hanging your arm out of it and down the side of the car. Knob!

Hand on the roof is equally knobbish.

I do both of these when it's warm enough. I'm just a bit too lanky to comfortably fold myself into an RX7

j, you do realise that this is the knob thread where PHers come to highlight poor driving or other dodgy tactics.

[fatboy18]

nonsequitur said:

j_4m said:

Grahamdub said:

Frimley111R said:

Driving with your window down and hanging your arm out of it and down the side of the car. Knob!

Hand on the roof is equally knobbish.

I do both of these when it's warm enough. I'm just a bit too lanky to comfortably fold myself into an RX7

j, you do realise that this is the knob thread where PHers come to highlight poor driving or other dodgy tactics.

I do that Its the proper way to get a Truckers elbow tan

[Blown2CV]

MellowshipSlinky said:

I’d like to nominate the 3 Mercedes drivers today - looked like they’d just picked up cars from a compound and were driving to the dealer - a black G63 AMG, a black C class diesel and another non descript car.
All the cars had no trade plates or reg plates and still had the protective body covers on.

G63 seemed to take great delight in trying to wheelspin from each traffic light and scream from one red light to the other, with the C class trying to keep up.

if it was me, i'd have reported them stolen. With no plates visible and driving like tts, it would be a justifiable assumption and offences/violations were actually being committed right in front of you?

[j_4m]

nonsequitur said:

j, you do realise that this is the knob thread where PHers come to highlight poor driving or other dodgy tactics.

I know! But sometimes one disagrees with the knob slinging.

[A.J.M]

The one knob on our street who parked like, well, a knob at the best of times.
Now has a recovery truck to badly park as well.

someone else in the street is getting a new kitchen, they have trade vans parked on and near their drive. Which is fair enough.
Knob neighbour has upped his knob parking by moving cars off drive to street to stop them parking, and now this.

Guys a fanny and we are sick of him.

[anonymous-user]

The dheads of Portishead this morning. I was trying to pull out of a blind sighted driveway as I do most mornings. I have to creep forward, as you physically can not see what is coming. I was trying to turn right and luckily the cars on that side stopped to let me out, not so the cars from the left who kept going. As soon as there was a gap I started to pull out, just as the cars from my right decide they are now going to drive round me.
So, I will probably be in the bad parking thread soon, as I give up trying to rely on goodwill to pull out every morning. My car will now be parked in the road causing a bottleneck instead.

[The Mad Monk]

Grahamdub said:

The dheads of Portishead this morning. I was trying to pull out of a blind sighted driveway as I do most mornings. I have to creep forward, as you physically can not see what is coming. I was trying to turn right and luckily the cars on that side stopped to let me out, not so the cars from the left who kept going. As soon as there was a gap I started to pull out, just as the cars from my right decide they are now going to drive round me.
So, I will probably be in the bad parking thread soon, as I give up trying to rely on goodwill to pull out every morning. My car will now be parked in the road causing a bottleneck instead.

A. Why not turn left out of the driveway, and then turn round later?

B. Why buy a house in a road with a difficult exit?

[anonymous-user]

The Mad Monk said:

A. Why not turn left out of the driveway, and then turn round later?

B. Why buy a house in a road with a difficult exit?

A. There is nowhere to turn round easily for at least 1/2 mile. Pulling out, even to turn left, is hard enough anyway.
B. Not my house. It's dog day care.

[The Mad Monk]

Grahamdub said:

The Mad Monk said:

A. Why not turn left out of the driveway, and then turn round later?

B. Why buy a house in a road with a difficult exit?

A. There is nowhere to turn round easily for at least 1/2 mile. Pulling out, even to turn left, is hard enough anyway.
B. Not my house. It's dog day care.

B. Get rid of the dog. Well, look at the trouble it's causing you trying to pull out of the side turning.

You don't need a dog.

When my party get into power, we are going to ban dogs.

[Countdown]

S3 NFG.

A fundamentally nice car made to look and sound like an UberKnob vehicle and also driven by in the same manner.

[yellowjack]

Me, this morning, for losing my cool.

It's bin day. Much like it is EVERY BLOODY WEEK. I'm returning home not long after the bin men start their round. Same as every bloody Wednesday. I meet the bin lorry on Chapel Lane, much as I do most Wednesdays. None of this is an issue. I like my bin men. I often chat to them as they empty my bin, which is usually later, around 9.30 am. I do what I can to make their lives easier by driving safely and considerately around them while they work too, because I wouldn't want to be a contributory factor in increasing the danger they face on the roads.

So there I am, first car behind the truck as it stop/starts it's way along the road with the crew fetching and returning bins from both sides of the road. It's not a great road at the best of times, quite a lot of parking on both sides, pavement parking, and traffic calming islands too. So I pull up about 50, maybe 60 metres behind the lorry, so that I can see a good way around it, and also see a side turning ahead on the left that would be masked from sight if I were tucked up close to the truck.

I can't go around the lorry, because oncoming traffic means it's unsafe to proceed. There just isn't the safe gap to take advantage of. It doesn't matter much to me. In a short few seconds the truck will move forward again, and there'll be a better view ahead. In any case, there'll eventually be a gap in the traffic (if Rushmoor and Hart councils don't ensure permanent gridlock soon, by continuing to rubber-stamp every housing development put before them). A few gaps look promising, but then traffic joining from side roads to both the left, and the right, occupy the gap before it gets to where I can use it.

Now. I freely admit that it was frustrating. I was frustrated at being "stuck for hours behind an effing bin lorry" myself, but in reality it hadn't been very long at all. But what set me off was the absolute cretin behind me repeatedly tooting his/her/it's horn. I ignored it the first 5 times, but eventually my patience abandoned me and I got out to see what the problem was. "Is there a fault with your horn?" I asked. All I got was a vacant stare and a rolled up window as a reply, so I got back into my car. Well I was headed that way, when the window rolled down and "Move up!" was shouted at my back.

That was it. Fuse well and truly lit, and a short one at that. "Move up? Fking move up? Right now I have a good view down that road. A better view than you, which means that I can see all the traffic coming up the road. If I tuck in behind the truck I'll see nothing, so we definitely won't be going anywhere". I'd lost the argument though, no matter how sensible my driving, because I'd lost my temper. I stalked back to my car to be treated to yet another toot, and something muttered, that, being registered deaf, I didn't catch. This resulted in the cretin being told to "shut the fk up" and a clenched fist being waved around. This got a "sorry mate" response, and I got back in my car and to my relief managed to continue to drive calmly and safely the rest of the way home.

The cretin? His/her/it's (it had short grey hair, a pudgy and rather effeminate face, but also stubble, and in this day and age it's not a good idea to oppress or offend a person by presuming their gender ) destination turned out to be the One Stop shop literally a few hundred yards up the road. Way to encourage another driver to take a risk passing a lorry so your lazy fat arse gets it's morning paper 90 seconds sooner, ct lips!

I'm not proud of losing it. Far from it. Rather, I am annoyed that my challenge wasn't based on the law, and basic competence and consideration...

the AskThePolice website said:

Q406: When can I use the horn in my car?

A horn should only be used when warning someone of danger, not to indicate your annoyance at a manner of driving.

A horn should not be sounded when stationary on a road at any time, other than at times of danger due to another vehicle on or near the road.

A horn should not be used on a moving vehicle on a restricted road (basically a road that has street lights and a 30mph limit) between the times of 11:30 pm and 7:00 am.

...wherein the impatient Pudgy McPudgeface was braking ALL THREE of the above rules, and ought to have been dealt with by a constable by means of a fixed penalty notice for being a selfish, ignorant, stupid fking moron for doing so.

And FYI people? The ONLY horn that'll get me to do something i wasn't planning on doing before it sounded? That'll be a two-tone horn, accompanied by blue flashing lights. Otherwise, back the fk off and let me go about MY business making MY OWN decisions. If YOU think it's safe to overtake a bin lorry with a complex set of identified hazards (both existing and potential), then YOU make your own decision and overtake me AND the lorry. But I'll only be moving if/when the conditions are such that I won't endanger/inconvenience the bin crew, and there is minimal risk to my safety and that of people in oncoming traffic.

[Tom _M]

Spotted my first topless chav driving round yesterday. Spring has sprung!

[anonymous-user]

The Mad Monk said:

B. Get rid of the dog. Well, look at the trouble it's causing you trying to pull out of the side turning.

You don't need a dog.

When my party get into power, we are going to ban dogs.

I don't like your party

[yellowjack]

The Mad Monk said:

Grahamdub said:

The Mad Monk said:

A. Why not turn left out of the driveway, and then turn round later?

B. Why buy a house in a road with a difficult exit?

A. There is nowhere to turn round easily for at least 1/2 mile. Pulling out, even to turn left, is hard enough anyway.
B. Not my house. It's dog day care.

B. Get rid of the dog. Well, look at the trouble it's causing you trying to pull out of the side turning.

You don't need a dog.

When my party get into power, we are going to ban dogs.

Vote for The Mad Monk!

I'm in, where do I sign up? Banning dog ownership for people who cannot look after one for themselves? I'm all over that. I love dogs, but my lifestyle means that to own one would be selfish, and bad for the dog. So I don't have one.

Can we also ban commercial dogst distributors? Because I'm pretty certain that "walking" a dozen dogs at one time, most of which aren't on a lead, nor under anything resembling "control", means you can't know which one has taken a dump where. Which also means they aren't cleaning up after their charges. And they use public parks and military training areas hereabouts without any form of licence or any contribution to upkeep, yet they are a commercial profit-making concern and therefore should be made to pay a fee to use the facilities or banned from them altogether.

I'd also ban reversing off driveways, and ban poorly sighted driveways altogether. Either improve the sightlines by removing walls, fences or vegetation, or move the feckin' driveway.

In fact, can I be your transport secretary please? Because then I'd make a lot more roads into clearways, and ban parking in lots of places, because roads are for driving on, not for storing personal property. And far more hours are wasted by traffic being held up passing parked cars than are wasted being held up by bicycles and slow moving traffic, yet the world seems keen to chomp on about "bloody cyclists" and the ubiquitous "pensioner in a Jazz" driving everywhere at precisely 23 mph, yet mostly meekly accept parking on roads without a peep of complaint...

[The Mad Monk]

yellowjack said:

The Mad Monk said:

Grahamdub said:

The Mad Monk said:

A. Why not turn left out of the driveway, and then turn round later?

B. Why buy a house in a road with a difficult exit?

A. There is nowhere to turn round easily for at least 1/2 mile. Pulling out, even to turn left, is hard enough anyway.
B. Not my house. It's dog day care.

B. Get rid of the dog. Well, look at the trouble it's causing you trying to pull out of the side turning.

You don't need a dog.

When my party get into power, we are going to ban dogs.

Vote for The Mad Monk!

I'm in, where do I sign up? Banning dog ownership for people who cannot look after one for themselves? I'm all over that. I love dogs, but my lifestyle means that to own one would be selfish, and bad for the dog. So I don't have one.

Where I live there are about a dozen houses and a dozen flats within - more or less - sight.

Nobody living in the houses has a dog. there are at least three flat dwellers with dogs. One woman living in an upstairs flat has three dogs?

Madness, or what?

Edited by The Mad Monk on Wednesday 27th February 14:22

[Greg the Fish]

Yesterday and today.

The number of people driving round with completely flat tyres.

One yesterday morning flapping up the road making all sorts of noise....................same car, same spot, same flat this morning. How can they not realise???