how to tell the wife?

[dazwalsh]

buy it and tell her but be sure to include the folowing:

“it was in the sale, reduced by 10%”

It would be interesting to see how that twisted logic works when used the other way.

[The Selfish Gene]

bristolracer said:

They do say that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission..........

in my experience it's a lot easier to do neither.

[Limpet]

dazwalsh said:

buy it and tell her but be sure to include the folowing:

“it was in the sale, reduced by 10%”

It would be interesting to see how that twisted logic works when used the other way.

Or with handbags "it's the same one I've had for years". I'm embarrassed to say it works on me, as I don't notice or care about handbags.

My neighbour used this to great effect on his wife with a £3k camera purchase a year or so ago, when he upgraded his old Canon EOS 400D to a 5D mkIV. Put the new camera back in the bag and didn't say a word to his wife.

Recently, she randomly went to use the camera. As she got it out of the bag, she said "I don't remember it being this big and heavy..."

"Um, yes dear, it's always been that way. You don't use it much do you, I mean when was the last time you touched it?"

"Yeah good point. Must be me."

[Jasandjules]

SaggyOstrich said:

If it's your money then just buy the damn thing, it's got nothing to do with her.

The OP says Wife. To me that means all money is in one pot and both are equally entitled to it. So it has everything to do with her.

OP in your shoes I would be looking to negotiate but if it is a no then so be it, another and better one will come along....

[Mr2Mike]

psi310398 said:

I'd agree on the Boxster. A comparable MX5 is surely just a cheaper way of moving ferrous oxide from A to B?

Buying an old MX5 because you don't want to deal with rust on an MGB is not a sensible move.

[Ares]

We all go through this.

I had it 18mths ago when I started looking at the M3, C63s, Alfa QV, Ghibli S. I'd subtly point the cars out to her on the road "thats nice isn't it?", I'd get a grunt and seldom a look up form book/phone/etc.

I moved on to "I think we can get away with a smaller car now our daughter is 8, less crap to carry around. Don't you agree?". I'd get a non-committal "Suppose" in response. Next...."Probably need 4 doors though, both sets of parents are in their 70s and 80s, need to factor them in?".....I'd get "Mmmmmm" in response.

I then arranged to borrow each of the cars for a weekend. Each one was met with "I don't like it. Too noisy, too brash. Aren't you getting a bit old for a boy racer car". ...."Whats wrong with a normal 3-series like you had 10yrs ago. I loved that car. Isn't a diesel better? I worry about fuel consumption and costs. What about insurance. Why do you need a sporty car? Your dad's 320d is a lovely car" etc....

At the end of the four weekends, I spoke to a friend. He gave me great advice......

Sage Advice said:

Sit your wife down, explain that cars are a hobby for you, rather than just 'a car' and a means of transportation as they are for her. Be open and honest. Talk to her, lay out the costs, what it means to you. Be open about the pros and cons. Let her be involved in the choice, get her on side, discuss colours, go and look at them again. Show her the insurance quotes, the different purchase options. Walk through the process together and reach a joint decision once she sees how important the choice of car is to you, as a car enthusiast and someone passionate about driving. Be mature about the purchase, it'll be the best route and ensure familial cordiality.

....of course, it didn't bloody work. 8 months on, she's still pissed off....but I'm driving round in a 500bhp Alfa Romeo so who give a st

[AmosMoses]

Do what i did.

Rang the Mrs up once the car was back home and sat in the garage

[unsprung]

Ares said:

"Whats wrong with a normal 3-series like you had 10yrs ago. I loved that car. Isn't a diesel better?"

[ChilliWhizz]

Did the MGB you looked at have stainless sill covers? If not did you take a magnet and apply it to the sills? Did you poke the castle rails with a sharp object? Did you check the rear spring mounts?

Repairing/replacing mechanical bits on a B is relatively cheap and easy. Body bits, particularly structural will cost a fortune. If its cheap its cheap for a reason.

Beware of B's with sill covers. I've had four B's, and still have a '72 Roadster tucked away in a corner. Don't be fooled by bright shiny paintwork, it could ruin your relationship....

[Mammasaid]

daemon said:

jkh112 said:

Does she need your permission to buy a handbag ?

Theres quite a difference between a commitment to buy your average handbag at maybe £50-£100 and buying some old car that is going to involve ongoing significant spend and significant effort and most likely end up sucking up a lot more funds and effort than predicted.

Unless of course your wife buys handbags that cost several thousand, need £££s to £,£££s spent on them and take up a lot of spare time maintaining them each month?

What, like this....

https://www.collectorsquare.com/en/bags/hermes/bir...

some 'expert' said:

Read our expert's description

Unavoidable Hermes Birkin 35 cm handbag in brown ebene crocodile, hardware in gilt metal, double handle in dark brown crocodile allowing the bag to be worn in the hand.

Flap fastener.
Lining in dark brown leather, one zip pocket, one patch pocket.
Sold with tirette, keys, padlock trimmed with leather, clochette, dustbag, its CIC.
Signature: "Hermès Paris Made in France ". Hidden stamp: Square I (2005).

[Vocal Minority]

My other half told me the other day, when I was discussing a useful next car - 'the day you buy a sensible car I am taking you to be put down'

Which was nice

[Pat H]

You could always buy it as a present for her.

My partner passed her motorbike test a couple of years ago.

Every time I want another motorbike, I just tell her that it's for her.

Got six of the buggers now.

[67Dino]

Friend of a friend (yes, one of those) bought a series of Aston Martins over the years without telling his wife. Made sure they were the same colour and then just told his wife he’d had the old professionally valeted.

So i recommend you buy a very cheap version of the car you want, gradually upgrade it with better ones over the years, and tell her you’ve been restoring it. Simples.

[Vocal Minority]

On a more serious note, I bet all the people saying - 'its your money do what you like' are probably the ones on other threads complaining about expensive divorces

[J4CKO]

Nanook said:

J4CKO said:

Dont ffs take advice off blokes on here about your relationship, they will tell you to man up etc etc, everyone is Gene Hunt on here but in reality, how many dont have to get some approval

Me, for one.

Do you buy the car that your wife tells you to buy?

Given that I'm going to drive it every day, I buy the one that I want.

You have a 350Z, I had one, she loved that and still goes on about it now, only drove it once or twice though !

Only actual objections are mainly around paying for it, and no Rally knobhead type things, i.e. Evos or Imprezas.

I do point out that it shouldn't matter to her as she has a car that I didnt object to so I expect to not be told what to buy, if you dont want to go in it, which seems weird and petulant, then dont, will take one of the other cars, like yours that I pay all the expenses for !

[coldel]

Adults usually talk to each other? If you are in something together then just have a proper conversation about it. Applies to anything really?

[unsprung]

Vocal Minority said:

My other half told me the other day, when I was discussing a useful next car - 'the day you buy a sensible car I am taking you to be put down'

Which was nice

[Terminator X]

First mistake, you should never have asked.

TX.

[Byker28i]

bennettse2025 said:

We really do need to know what car it is

FFS! This is Pistonheads. We need photos of the wife before we decide yes or no...

[jamesters]

wow quite blown away by all the replies on here. yeah i did drive the MGB i need to reinspect it but yeah i wasn't to fooled by outside shiny paint work it was restored in the 90s and then stored away for 23 yrs. The guy struggling to sell it at 3k then again at 2k...maybe for good reason.... probably because there no telling how good the body work restoration was done? and being so long ago...i took a look under the car and the sills were ok but were some rust signs. was also a bit on the chassis that did look far to rusty but other then the other bits looked fine. I was planning to go for a 2nd viewing and check it even further but i've had same advise with MGB that the rust is a major major issue. (it def wasnt 100% under the car) normally my wife lets me spend my money on what i want. last year I bought a new camera and even shown her the mazda mx5 you mentioned on an earlier post.... she laughed and said where would we put our 2yr old son? The reason for my post is we went to see mgb together and she was just telling me what an old wreck it looked. (i respect her opinion....and it still my own money not hers) for me the reason i was looking for mgb in blue was i had lot fond memories of my grandfathers mgb as a kid and sadly when he passed away the family sold it off, I always regret they did that. now i am old enough to get one the same i was looking to see what i could find... it seems they are now to old or require far to much maintenance so i am now very torn if I should even bother to do the 2nd viewing or just forget it now.