Best smoker barges 1-5 large [Vol 13]

[Johnny Raydome]

Bright looking 1999 E39 535i Auto from the scotland// cars/ vans/motorbikes/4x4s/ sales/ swaps/parts Facebook Group.

Handful of blingy bits that need removing and replaced. Easy enough.
Mileage looks suss, unfortunately (check MOT history), no mention of service history and an offensive tow bar mount.





[url]|https://thumbsnap.com/wJk8t3lE[/url


Advert text:

Bmw 535i v8
92000 miles
Mot april 2019
Full black leather interior
Piano black trim inserts
Bmw m5 red and blue stitched steering wheel
Electric folding mirrors
Factory fitted sunblinds
Electric rear sunblind
Led angel eyes
Tinted rear lights and side repeaters
Original sales receipts from bmw
Stainless exhaust lovely v8 sound
18" deep dish bmw wheels with excellent tyres all round
Semi automatic gearbox
No rust on any of the arches and sills
Car needs absolutely nothing and drives Smooth and quiet.
Would consider a px or swap for a 4x4 or something interesting.
£2600

[C Lee Farquar]

Parisien said:

Agreed, but then again, I'd prefer if no other PH member had to go through every one elses ground hog day in a P38!!

They are piles of crap! The truth hurts, most of the time.

P

Agreed, I had a three year old 4.6 HSE. The only car I've ever sold just because the warranty was expiring.

This, on the other hand, makes me smile whether driving it or just looking at it

[Croutons]

bob-lad said:

Yours may have been a pile of crap. Not all are.

I only have a completely unnecessary L322, and my father had a fun filled 3.9 Classic. But in an attempt to be helpfull to the OP I found this if you fancy having a go yourself. Mostly it's a message that says "buy new bolts".

https://www.landyzone.co.uk/land-rover/range-rover...

Thanks,

I had read that, along with some chap saying it took 2K of parts alone to fix his. Ex LR engineer...

This one is priced at just about parts level, esp if man maths on a chav private plate potentially recovers half of the buy price (or more). Water pump failed 1000 miles ago, guess either nothing was apparent or owner took a chance, now it seems he can't hide from it any more.

May see it in the week if I can make.time.

[Croutons]

Not standard but not dreadful E39 540 touring at 3 bags

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/206191/bmw-...

[trooperiziz]

Croutons said:

Not standard but not dreadful E39 540 touring at 3 bags

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/206191/bmw-...

That seems massively expensive considering the age and state of it. I would have offered half that.

[Krikkit]

trooperiziz said:

Croutons said:

Not standard but not dreadful E39 540 touring at 3 bags

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/206191/bmw-...

That seems massively expensive considering the age and state of it. I would have offered half that.

Wouldn't the Bilstein B6 dampers be too firm for an SE waft?

[E24man]

Krikkit said:

trooperiziz said:

Croutons said:

Not standard but not dreadful E39 540 touring at 3 bags

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/206191/bmw-...

That seems massively expensive considering the age and state of it. I would have offered half that.

Wouldn't the Bilstein B6 dampers be too firm for an SE waft?

I'd be more concerned that the electric cooling fan isn't working; those V8's work at 110 degrees centigrade and any slight fault, like a failed fan, means an instant overheat.

[Lowtimer]

Krikkit said:

Wouldn't the Bilstein B6 dampers be too firm for an SE waft?

I would be using B4 on a standard SE, but this doesn't have SE suspension any more. He says it is on M5 front springs and has been lowered at both ends. B6 are not too bad and probably broadly analagous to the BMW dampers that came on an E39 Sport.

Edited by Lowtimer on Sunday 23 September 15:59

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Lowtimer said:

I would be using B4 on a standard SE, but this doesn't have SE suspension any more. He says it is on M5 front springs and has been lowered at both ends. B6 are not too bad and probably broadly analagous to the BMW dampers that came on an E39 Sport.

I've run that through Google translate but am still none the wiser! There's a reason I haven't had an e39.

[Jim the Sunderer]

I had a P38, I'd buy another now that I'm equipped and stubborn enough to do some repair jobs on it now.

Then again if the gearbox hadn't blown up, 6 months later I'd have been towing a horse box I suspect.

[Krikkit]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Lowtimer said:

I would be using B4 on a standard SE, but this doesn't have SE suspension any more. He says it is on M5 front springs and has been lowered at both ends. B6 are not too bad and probably broadly analagous to the BMW dampers that came on an E39 Sport.

I've run that through Google translate but am still none the wiser! There's a reason I haven't had an e39.

The Bilstein damper ranges go in steps, with B4 being roughly equivalent to OE, B6 are firmer but standard height for the application, B8 are designed for lowered cars.

After that you get to super expensive B10/12/B14 coilovers which are silly money and not suited for barges tbh.

Fitting M5 springs sounds like a great way to ruin it.

[SpeckledJim]

I think a P38A is likely to prove a disappointing cul de sac in one's barge journey, but they're charming enough that Greater Fool Theory could be relied upon for a substantial, if only partial, bail-out once your cup of masochism runs empty.

Be sure to buy a st one though, and then when it turns out to be st, you won't be dealing with simultaneously broken heart and bank through the clammy fog of surprise.

Buying a good one is the riskiest play, because as-and-when that one turns out to be st you'll be discombobulated, in addition to cold and hungry. Scenes of an adult nature. And not in a good way.

[BlueMR2]

trooperiziz said:

Croutons said:

Not standard but not dreadful E39 540 touring at 3 bags

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/206191/bmw-...

That seems massively expensive considering the age and state of it. I would have offered half that.

When they did the advert they wanted £4k.

"Can be used as is has mot and taxed at present, engine pulls very very well gearbox smooth, car is in S,Devon. Needs all the odd jobs doing that never seem to get done, just don't use it so selling awesome estate car. £3950"

[Bonefish Blues]

Is the original the best in all respects, including reliability too?

[CharlesdeGaulle]

SpeckledJim said:

I think a P38A is likely to prove a disappointing cul de sac in one's barge journey, but they're charming enough that Greater Fool Theory could be relied upon for a substantial, if only partial, bail-out once your cup of masochism runs empty.

Be sure to buy a st one though, and then when it turns out to be st, you won't be dealing with simultaneously broken heart and bank through the clammy fog of surprise.

Buying a good one is the riskiest play, because as-and-when that one turns out to be st you'll be discombobulated, in addition to cold and hungry. Scenes of an adult nature. And not in a good way.

Once again, speckled one, you have articulated my 'buy-a-st-one (and-then-spend-a-sodding stload-on-making-it decent)' buying strategy perfectly. Never ends well.

[Parisien]

SpeckledJim said:

Buying a good one is the riskiest play, because as-and-when that one turns out to be st you'll be discombobulated, in addition to cold and hungry. Scenes of an adult nature. And not in a good way.

Discombobulated = modern equivalent of automotive seppuku

Cold and hungry = medium term stay in a gulag of not your choice

Scenes of an adult nature = getting fked, sans lube.

Yeah, well summed up, that's exactly what I did!

P

[RicksAlfas]

Bonefish Blues said:

Is the original the best in all respects, including reliability too?

Are you talking about Range Rovers?
The original is great. But it's also great at rusting. A Classic without air suspension or electric seats is a pretty simple beast and will trundle along for many miles without needing much attention other than gallons of fuel and a decent battery.

The P38 doesn't rust but is far more complicated in every other way...

[Tony0]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1992-Mercedes-Benz-W124...


From the buzz on here over this I expected it would be gone by now but the asking price has gone UP 250£ despite the added preamble suggesting he has endured some timewasters.

[Krikkit]

Tony0 said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1992-Mercedes-Benz-W124...


From the buzz on here over this I expected it would be gone by now but the asking price has gone UP 250£ despite the added preamble suggesting he has endured some timewasters.

Lovely car, but the listing makes the seller sound like a real nightmare to deal with.

[SpeckledJim]

Krikkit said:

Tony0 said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1992-Mercedes-Benz-W124...


From the buzz on here over this I expected it would be gone by now but the asking price has gone UP 250£ despite the added preamble suggesting he has endured some timewasters.

Lovely car, but the listing makes the seller sound like a real nightmare to deal with.

Wouldn't fuss me. On my day I'm easily as big a plonker as he is, and I'll go plonk to plonk with anybody.

Car does look bloody terrific. Easily worth the money if it's genuine.