One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 5

One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 5

Author
Discussion

Triumph Man

8,670 posts

167 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
Greg the Fish said:
Johnspex said:
Calling Halfords Halfrauds.
What is fraudulent about Halfords?
Then the knob asked not to be judged because he'd been in said store.


Probably says Daily Fail/Wail and Scumtree, and Face ache, and Fleabay, probably also says methinks, or worse, me thinks, plus a la, swapped out, drop in a crate engine (like it's that easy), good steer, hoon, and all the other 'cool' terms he's picked up on here.
And will use 'myself' when it's not appropriate.

Same sort of t*** that when at the bar (oh those were the days!) will say 'can I get.....' No you f****** d**** you can't GET unless you come round behind the bar and serve yourself. It's Please may I have.
And then order a guinness last...

Greg the Fish

1,410 posts

65 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
Triumph Man said:
And then order a guinness last...
that'll be the one!

Roger Irrelevant

2,899 posts

112 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
I'd be interested to know if anybody else has witnessed this phenomenon: single carriageway, coming up to traffic lights, shortly before the lights (say 30-40 metres) the road widens to two lanes, one to go straight on, one left (or right, doesn't really matter). The lights are red and there are already a couple of cars waiting in each lane. You're clearly going to have to stop so there is absolutely no point in doing anything other than foot off the throttle and coast until braking gently to a stop behind the stationary car in your lane. The chap behind you, though, is clearly affronted that you have prevented him from doing 5mph above the limit until the last possible moment, and so as soon as the road starts to widen boots it, just about pulls level with you in the adjacent lane, but then has to slam on his brakes to narrowly avoid rear-ending the stationary car in the other lane.

What is going through the mind of this chap? Is his life so empty that he considers having his number plate 1cm in front of yours for the briefest of moments as a 'win'? Because he's gained absolutely nothing else from it and never could; he's not got past you and more to the point clearly didn't need to as you were going separate ways anyway. Ok it's pretty low-level knobbishness but he's a knob all the same.


biggbn

22,818 posts

219 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
Greg the Fish said:
Johnspex said:
Calling Halfords Halfrauds.
What is fraudulent about Halfords?
Then the knob asked not to be judged because he'd been in said store.


Probably says Daily Fail/Wail and Scumtree, and Face ache, and Fleabay, probably also says methinks, or worse, me thinks, plus a la, swapped out, drop in a crate engine (like it's that easy), good steer, hoon, and all the other 'cool' terms he's picked up on here.
And will use 'myself' when it's not appropriate.

Same sort of t*** that when at the bar (oh those were the days!) will say 'can I get.....' No you f****** d**** you can't GET unless you come round behind the bar and serve yourself. It's Please may I have.
People who use 'butt hurt' and 'circle jerk', surprisingly common on this forum. I had no idea there were so many Americans or wannabe Americans on here. I would like to say no offence meant if you are one of those people, instead I will just ask....why?


Johnspex

4,332 posts

183 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
biggbn said:
Greg the Fish said:
Johnspex said:
Calling Halfords Halfrauds.
What is fraudulent about Halfords?
Then the knob asked not to be judged because he'd been in said store.


Probably says Daily Fail/Wail and Scumtree, and Face ache, and Fleabay, probably also says methinks, or worse, me thinks, plus a la, swapped out, drop in a crate engine (like it's that easy), good steer, hoon, and all the other 'cool' terms he's picked up on here.
And will use 'myself' when it's not appropriate.

Same sort of t*** that when at the bar (oh those were the days!) will say 'can I get.....' No you f****** d**** you can't GET unless you come round behind the bar and serve yourself. It's Please may I have.
People who use 'butt hurt' and 'circle jerk', surprisingly common on this forum. I had no idea there were so many Americans or wannabe Americans on here. I would like to say no offence meant if you are one of those people, instead I will just ask....why?
Literally dozens of wannabe Americans (Muricans, to make it worse) but the chief one seems to have disappeared.


Stock instead of standard is a fine example, and anyone over the age of 30 who says rims when they mean wheels...

LunarOne

5,095 posts

136 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
Someone on a thread about impact wrenches recently asked what I meant by lug nuts. Someone else said it was an American term, and I had no idea. I thought bolts were when the part you remove includes a male thread, and lug nuts were the part were the female nut which comes off leaving the male threads attached to the wheel hub. I don't know where I got that from, but I watch a lot of American automotive videos where I have to grudgingly listen to them saying "I'm gonna go ahead and..." every 10 seconds. But if it changes anything, I spent my childhood at boarding school in the UK, and the school holidays either in the U.S. or in France. My point is that people might not by trying to sound American. Some of us have absorbed our cultural references from both the UK and the U.S..

Greg the Fish

1,410 posts

65 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
I think a lot of the blame needs to be placed squarely at Lewis Hamilton from Stevenage, New York.

Muddle238

3,871 posts

112 months

Wednesday 27th January 2021
quotequote all
Roger Irrelevant said:
I'd be interested to know if anybody else has witnessed this phenomenon: single carriageway, coming up to traffic lights, shortly before the lights (say 30-40 metres) the road widens to two lanes, one to go straight on, one left (or right, doesn't really matter). The lights are red and there are already a couple of cars waiting in each lane. You're clearly going to have to stop so there is absolutely no point in doing anything other than foot off the throttle and coast until braking gently to a stop behind the stationary car in your lane. The chap behind you, though, is clearly affronted that you have prevented him from doing 5mph above the limit until the last possible moment, and so as soon as the road starts to widen boots it, just about pulls level with you in the adjacent lane, but then has to slam on his brakes to narrowly avoid rear-ending the stationary car in the other lane.

What is going through the mind of this chap? Is his life so empty that he considers having his number plate 1cm in front of yours for the briefest of moments as a 'win'? Because he's gained absolutely nothing else from it and never could; he's not got past you and more to the point clearly didn't need to as you were going separate ways anyway. Ok it's pretty low-level knobbishness but he's a knob all the same.
Yes, I’ve seen this. Same sort of thing approaching a roundabout, car behind takes a different lane to head off in a different direction, but still insists on pulling up alongside while entering and negotiating said roundabout. Rather annoys me especially when the lanes aren’t marked, as any collision would end up 50/50, easily avoidable if they just hang back slightly - as you say, going separate ways, so why put yourself in close proximity to another vehicle while negotiating an unmarked, circular interchange....

Same thing happens passing an off-slip on DC or motorway, car behind will take the exit, but accelerate past on the slip road, before braking for the traffic lights/roundabout, all while you maintain 70 on cruise control in L1.

LetsTryAgain

2,904 posts

72 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Johnspex said:
Stock instead of standard is a fine example, and anyone over the age of 30 who says rims when they mean wheels...
'Swap out' the 'stock' suspension.

They LOVE swapping stuff out.

Bored of; rather than bored by, or even bored with.
But not of.

Disassemble - a nasty Americanism which has made its' way over here.
You assemble, and dismantle.

There are tonnes.

Greg the Fish

1,410 posts

65 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
LetsTryAgain said:
'

Disassemble - a nasty Americanism which has made its' way over here.
You assemble, and dismantle.

Brooksay

647 posts

69 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
LetsTryAgain said:
Johnspex said:
Stock instead of standard is a fine example, and anyone over the age of 30 who says rims when they mean wheels...
'Swap out' the 'stock' suspension.

They LOVE swapping stuff out.

Bored of; rather than bored by, or even bored with.
But not of.

Disassemble - a nasty Americanism which has made its' way over here.
You assemble, and dismantle.

There are tonnes.
"off of"

"race car"

"comprise/comprises of"

Grrrrr.

mike80

2,248 posts

215 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
One I encountered yesterday. Actually, there was two of them...

In the queue for a supermarket click and collect order, there's two cars in front of me. First one takes ages, but fine... The staff then wave the next car forward, he drives in, they keep waving, he stops and gets out. He then messes about for ages getting various bags out of the boot of his car, looking at the shopping, putting it in a bag... Another bag, fiddles about a bit more, stops to talk to the staff... this is a healthy looking bloke in his forties, not someone with mobility difficulties.

Finally finishes and off he goes in no great rush. I drive in, they ask me if I could pull forward as much as possible so they can get two cars under the awning (it's raining). No problem I say, I pull forward, another car fits in behind me, I chuck the shopping in the boot and I'm done in about 45 seconds. Turns out the bloke in front wouldn't drive any further forward despite them asking, and then kept talking to them about stuff. Meanwhile, the queue is now round the car park...

Seriously, if you're in no hurry and want to examine everything, just go in the shop!

And he had a car that kept flashing it's reversing lights every time it moved...

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

115 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Johnspex said:
Calling Halfords Halfrauds.
What is fraudulent about Halfords?
Then the knob asked not to be judged because he'd been in said store.


Probably says Daily Fail/Wail and Scumtree, and Face ache, and Fleabay, probably also says methinks, or worse, me thinks, plus a la, swapped out, drop in a crate engine (like it's that easy), good steer, hoon, and all the other 'cool' terms he's picked up on here.
cool:

Majorslow

1,161 posts

128 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Was in lane 2 with road narrowing to a single lane ahead.

Lane 1 was a bus/taxi/bike lane.

Traffic jam, stop starting, about 0815 so "rush hour" (even during lockdown)

Car in front moves off, I check mirrors and see about 30 cars behind blue lights/headlights flashing in lane 1 as a police car moves up the bus lane.

So I sit there, waiting for him to pass me otherwise I would be blocking his progress, where he could then nip across me over the chevrons and join a D/C.

Knob who is closer than I would like behind me toots his horn and starts to wave his arms up in a "Get on with it" gestor.

I just ignore him....Police car then puts on two tones just as he gets level with knob, who i see visibly jump at the noise.

I start to laugh at him which he can see in reflection of my mirror

This irritates him more so when I move off sedately to move up about 3 car lengths he moves forward to the point he is now defrosting my rear window with his breath. Clearly angry he has been made to look a twit. He does this for the next few minutes until he roars past on the D/C.

D/C then goes into 3 lanes about a mile down the road, and knob is in the middle lane. Lights are red, lane 3 is shortest queue, so I move over from lane 1 to 3, over take him on braking, and end up about 4 cars ahead.

Lights to green everyone moves off, a gap in front of me allows me to move back across to lane 2 then 1 with an exit ahead. Mr angry just manages to cut across me, on the chevrons to make his exit making a sign with his forefinger and thumb together (at this time I am grinning from ear to ear, and give him a polite wave as i carry on)

Sometimes just not reacting infuriates them even more. ( OK maybe i shouldn't laugh)

Pan Pan Pan

9,777 posts

110 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
LetsTryAgain said:
Johnspex said:
Stock instead of standard is a fine example, and anyone over the age of 30 who says rims when they mean wheels...
'Swap out' the 'stock' suspension.

They LOVE swapping stuff out.

Bored of; rather than bored by, or even bored with.
But not of.

Disassemble - a nasty Americanism which has made its' way over here.
You assemble, and dismantle.

There are tonnes.
The ones that irritate me the most are the likes of Mike Brewer, who cannot pronounce their TH`s properly.
As in `the bloke wanted four grand for the Motor, but I got it for free'. Or how about enfusiast? or even fort, instead of thought. What have TH`s ever done to them?
Then there are the car ads, where the person in it, cannot pronounce his T`s. Where he asks if someone is looking for a new moa? I thought a Moa was a large flightless bird now extinct! smile

Cheekster247

111 posts

51 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Maybe it's me who the "knob" here...you decide. A junction on a dual carriageway close to me has just been "improved". It now has an overtaking lane just before and just after the lights...you know the score.

I've now experienced this a couple of time (usually at night when the junction isn't busy). I'm sat in lane one at the front of the queue. There is no one in lane 2 or 3. A car coasts up, moves into lane 3 and stops at the lights (remember there is no one in lane 2). I boot it from the lights just to make a bloody point. Am I the knob or is it them?

Greg the Fish

1,410 posts

65 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Pan Pan Pan said:
The ones that irritate me the most are the likes of Mike Brewer, who cannot pronounce their TH`s properly.
As in `the bloke wanted four grand for the Motor, but I got it for free'. Or how about enfusiast? or even fort, instead of thought. What have TH`s ever done to them?
Then there are the car ads, where the person in it, cannot pronounce his T`s. Where he asks if someone is looking for a new moa? I thought a Moa was a large flightless bird now extinct! smile
Mike Brewer IS a knob though.

LetsTryAgain

2,904 posts

72 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
I think anyone is well within their rights to boot it away.
If they want to take the lead, make them work for it!

(Should add the usual PH caveat of ‘when safe to do so’ for the luvvies).

MorganP104

2,605 posts

129 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Cheekster247 said:
Maybe it's me who the "knob" here...you decide. A junction on a dual carriageway close to me has just been "improved". It now has an overtaking lane just before and just after the lights...you know the score.

I've now experienced this a couple of time (usually at night when the junction isn't busy). I'm sat in lane one at the front of the queue. There is no one in lane 2 or 3. A car coasts up, moves into lane 3 and stops at the lights (remember there is no one in lane 2). I boot it from the lights just to make a bloody point. Am I the knob or is it them?
I think it makes you petty, but not a knob.

I'm not averse to a bit of pettiness myself. One of my favourite things to do on the motorway is undertake whole lines of cars (I'm in lane 1, line of cars trundling along nose to tail in lane 2).

The one good thing about lockdown is that as I've not been anywhere, I've seen very little knobbish behaviour. Every cloud, and all that.

biggbn

22,818 posts

219 months

Thursday 28th January 2021
quotequote all
Johnspex said:
biggbn said:
Greg the Fish said:
Johnspex said:
Calling Halfords Halfrauds.
What is fraudulent about Halfords?
Then the knob asked not to be judged because he'd been in said store.


Probably says Daily Fail/Wail and Scumtree, and Face ache, and Fleabay, probably also says methinks, or worse, me thinks, plus a la, swapped out, drop in a crate engine (like it's that easy), good steer, hoon, and all the other 'cool' terms he's picked up on here.
And will use 'myself' when it's not appropriate.

Same sort of t*** that when at the bar (oh those were the days!) will say 'can I get.....' No you f****** d**** you can't GET unless you come round behind the bar and serve yourself. It's Please may I have.
People who use 'butt hurt' and 'circle jerk', surprisingly common on this forum. I had no idea there were so many Americans or wannabe Americans on here. I would like to say no offence meant if you are one of those people, instead I will just ask....why?
Literally dozens of wannabe Americans (Muricans, to make it worse) but the chief one seems to have disappeared.


Stock instead of standard is a fine example, and anyone over the age of 30 who says rims when they mean wheels...
I actually don't mind the evolution of language, its not as if I can do anything about it, its mostly the two examples I gave that really, really grate. But, I suppose being 'butt hurt' would grate a little ...