Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[poprock]

From people who are half-petrolhead, but somehow not quite there:

“Is it a Turbo?”

Whilst looking at the back of the car, which sports a HUGE badge saying ‘Turbo’.

[Sneaky Schnell]

poprock said:

From people who are half-petrolhead, but somehow not quite there:

“Is it a Turbo?”

Whilst looking at the back of the car, which sports a HUGE badge saying ‘Turbo’.

Maybe they thing you stuck the badge on yourself...

[mat13]

I've had this a lot since buying the landy: "why do you want a car that doesn't do more than 50mph?"

[H_Kan]

Re a mk1 MX5 in the last year or so-

him- wow that must have cost a lot
me- not really mate, it was a bargain (cost me around £1300). Why do you think it cost a lot?
him- cos it's a sports car.
me- it's worth less then your Fiesta (02/03 plate iirc)
him- leave it out, you're having me on etc

[Dracoro]

jimbobsimmonds said:

25% downhill gradient, gf/mother (but i would imagine this would apply to most females) in the car... downshift from 4th to 2nd to save my poor brakes... engine noise increases...

"Slow down, your going too fast"

"im going no faster, im slowing it down"

"what do you mean, the engine got louder!"

I think a lot of people think noise=speed.

I could sit at 35mph in 6th at less than 2000rpm in silence, I could also do exactly the same speed in 1st at nigh on 9000rpm and people will think I'm driving fast.

[PHmember]

Not really a PH one, but a comment that gets on my nerves: 'drive carefully'.

Oh, cheers for that advice, I was going to get pissed up & drive with my eyes shut, but now you come to mention it.....

[bikemonster]

A colleague (who has an MX-5 and therefore should be OK) watching one of my in-car race clips, watching me chase a competitor through a corner:
"You should have accelerated then, you would have had him!"

Yep, I was just ambling along, taking my time...oodles of grip in reserve...

[Vidal Baboon]

My Mother in law commenting on a forrest arched Mk1 Escort RS that's pulled up alongside us in a petrol station:

ME to my wife: *drooling. You know I want that car, don't you.
WIFE: W..... *can't even get a word in
MIL butting in: Oh no, it's a hideous car & makes a hideous noise
ME: What, you think that lovingly restored car is hideous?!
MIL: Yes, it's old & dangerous



Arrgh! *rioting breaks out in my head.

Mentally I was picturing winding the window up so her head had to stay outside for the rest of the journey.

If there was ever a call for an independant switch for the rear airbags I would have one installed.





Another mate who thinks he knows what he's talking about:

Daz (talking about me to another passenger)- he's a really good driver when you get used to being a passenger
Andy- Hmmm, ok. *decides to put his seat belt on

10 seconds later & we're upside down skidding along the road on the roof.

Edited by Vidal Baboon on Saturday 28th August 12:29

[2 Wycked]

A girl I know keeps telling people that I nearly killed her when she was last in the car because I was driving on the M6 at about 0.85 leptons, someone pulled across with no reason or warning and I braked fairly sharply to match their speed and keep a gap.

I've also had most of the ones in this thread. My old XJ40 cost me £400 but one of the Senior Managers in my office (earns upwards of £50k, drives a 2009 Yaris) kept commenting on them paying me too much.

[H_Kan]

Dracoro said:

jimbobsimmonds said:

25% downhill gradient, gf/mother (but i would imagine this would apply to most females) in the car... downshift from 4th to 2nd to save my poor brakes... engine noise increases...

"Slow down, your going too fast"

"im going no faster, im slowing it down"

"what do you mean, the engine got louder!"

I think a lot of people think noise=speed.

I could sit at 35mph in 6th at less than 2000rpm in silence, I could also do exactly the same speed in 1st at nigh on 9000rpm and people will think I'm driving fast.

Yep I've found that. I was stopped by the cops for speeding (granted I had touched around 35) but I suspect that the reason they thought I was speeding was due to flooring it through first then into second. I reckon had a cruised by in 4th at 35mph they probably wouldn't have looked twice as they weren't traffic cops.

Good policing though, stern word and I've always kept to 30 in that area since.

[Dr Jekyll]

"Speed kills"

[lotusmad2001]

pilchardthecat said:

What do you need a car like that for? You can only go 70 miles an hour.

EXACTLY drives me nuts! F4cking sad t5ssers lol

[Dracoro]

lotusmad2001 said:

pilchardthecat said:

What do you need a car like that for? You can only go 70 miles an hour.

EXACTLY drives me nuts! F4cking sad t5ssers lol

And they miss the irony that their car will go also faster than 70.

Edited by Dracoro on Saturday 28th August 12:32

[Si_steve]

Vidal Baboon said:

My Mother in law commenting on a forrest arched Mk1 Escort RS that's pulled up alongside us in a petrol station:

ME to my wife: *drooling. You know I want that car, don't you.
WIFE: W..... *can't even get a word in
MIL butting in: Oh no, it's a hideous car & makes a hideous noise
ME: What, you think that lovingly restored car is hideous?!
MIL: Yes, it's old & dangerous



Arrgh! *rioting breaks out in my head.

Mentally I was picturing winding the window up so her head had to stay outside.

If there was ever a call for an independant switch for the rear airbags I would have one installed.

A correct response would have been something along the lines of...'well you two have a lot in common then dont you'. But thats just me, I can be rather tactless

[Vidal Baboon]

Si_steve said:

Vidal Baboon said:

My Mother in law commenting on a forrest arched Mk1 Escort RS that's pulled up alongside us in a petrol station:

ME to my wife: *drooling. You know I want that car, don't you.
WIFE: W..... *can't even get a word in
MIL butting in: Oh no, it's a hideous car & makes a hideous noise
ME: What, you think that lovingly restored car is hideous?!
MIL: Yes, it's old & dangerous



Arrgh! *rioting breaks out in my head.

Mentally I was picturing winding the window up so her head had to stay outside.

If there was ever a call for an independant switch for the rear airbags I would have one installed.

A correct response would have been something along the lines of...'well you two have a lot in common then dont you'. But thats just me, I can be rather tactless

Very good

Unfortunately she's won several disagreements due to my inability for quick wittedness.

[Killer2005]

"You're going to kill yourself at those sort of speeds"

[Swarley]

mat13 said:

I've had this a lot since buying the landy: "why do you want a car that doesn't do more than 50mph?"

I ask myself that every day since I got the landy.

[mx5tom]

Woman looking at my mx5: Wow, I really like your car.
Me: Thanks
Woman: What engine has it got?
Me: Just a 1.8
Woman: (Looking a bit confused/disappointed) But my car has a 1.8?
Woman: (Looking more excited) Has it got keyless entry?!
Me: No, just a key.
Woman: (Again, disappointed) Oh..Oh Right..

Cue more questions about heated seats, why there's no leather, etc...

I think to most people 'sports car' [whether your definition of sports car includes the Mx5, but that's another topic] means 'luxury car with a big engine'.

Edited by mx5tom on Saturday 28th August 12:49

[petrolsniffer]

Whenever i've been somewhere over 50miles away 'You didn't break down?'

Funny I see workmates cursing at much newer cars on facebook yet mine carrys on

[essexplumber]

Me driving along with an older collegue in the van on an M-way.

Collegue: "Why do you keep weaving in and out? Thats dangerous! Your supposed to stay in the FAST lane untill you exit"

Me: "No, I'm just keeping in lane 1 untill I have to overtake"

Collegue: "Why do you call it lane 1?"

Me: "Thats what it is..lane 1"

Collegue: "Oh, I thought it was just for the lorrys and that"