If your car could talk

[sebhaque]

"stop sitting on me, you weigh too much"

Still want to say that to a lady for gits and shiggles.

[pist nbroke]

"I'm not going out untill im clean and shiny"

[twazzock]

"You aren't funny and you spent too much on that diesel BMW."

[limpsfield]

...I am lulling you into yet another false sense of security about Maserati ownership before I flip my crazy Italian lid again and extract a large wad of cash off you to fix some problem, after which you will resolve to sell me before being lulled into a false sense of security...

[mp3manager]

[ollie854]

mp3manager said:

[JonnyFive]

"Please clean me.."

"Please can we go back to the Brecons for some more stunning roads.."

[CatfishCKY]

"I'm sorry I can't be a more interesting car for you, I'm trying my hardest... at least I'm economical... right?"

Aww, now I feel guilty Poor bland Civic!

[jayfish]

"I'm not a hot hatch, stop spanking me like a bh"

[jsg612]

Chug chug chug... Mmm diesel tastes good, through a straw.

[k-ink]

"We need to talk"

[davidspooner]

Underpants need a service

[powwerr]

Normally : "how many beeps bongs and dash lights do i have to give you till you take me to a garage you tightfisted tt!"

"dont you dare turn me off, my turbos boiling here!

"come near me again and im raping your wallet you bd"

[Acehood]

It would probably ask why I've spent so much money attempting to get it running properly. Then I'd tell it to shut the fk up and stop breaking all the time.

[GingerWizard]

"Ready when you are buddy"

[ClintonB]

I want a divorce (and I'm going to rape your wallet before I go).

[MVDD]

"I know your Dad - you just think you do."

[Cooky]

Just had a touch of this





Cerbera - 'seems like a nice day for an exorcism'

XJR - 'have a word dhead'

DB7 - ^ what he said (with bells on)

Series III Landrover - 'yeah baby, I'm your huckleberry'

[LeeThr]

I'm glad the pug cant talk, the amount of stuff it would say....
"Wash me you lazy bd, do a proper job this time not leave half the soap on like last time"

After it cutting out on the top of my drive when its stone dead cold for the milionth time "FFS its freezing at least let me warm up before moving"

"Stop deffening me with your Drum & Bass"

"Fix the bloady bush on the suspension"

"Buy me some new tyres man"

After shouting every swear word under the sun towards the dash/engine when it finds it nationality "Im French, deal with it"

"<blows raspery> Haha you cant have reverse"

<breath on the acclerator> "all that petrol was nice, but now your fuel lights on you tt"

After starting to use the esso garage instead of shell due to it being a penny cheaper at the moment... "What the fks this ste your feeding me, wheres the lovely fuelsave you used to give me? I'll behave if you give me some, promice <puppy dog eyes>"