Persuading someone to stop driving (due to declining ability

[Dave Thornton]

I can't be the only one to have an ageing relative (or friend) whose driving ability is in long term decline. Yet, as the law stands, every 3 years after 70 the licence can be renewed if there are no medical conditions or if existing medical conditions have not worsened.

By declining ability, I would cite scuff marks on both sides of the front bumper due to misjudged parking; clipping a mirror of a parked car; missing a well-marked motorway junctions; and taking the wrong exit from a roundabout onto a motorway; and driving onto my neighbour's drive without realising that it had been dug up - all in the last year. I'm not qualified to assess driving ability but to me these are clear signs of increasing risk. How do you persuade somebody to 'quit while they're ahead'?

[Riley Blue]

You may not be able to 'persuade' so the alternative, which I did when my Dad became a liability behind the wheel, was to notify te DVLA of his problems. Subsequently his licence was taken away from him and for a short while he was livid. Within three weeks he admitted he was glad he no longer drove - sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

[Prohibiting]

As above, tell DVLA. My Aunt did this, practically 'dobbed' her husband in as she was so concerned about his driving ability and he had his license taken away.

[eldar]

Dave Thornton said:

I can't be the only one to have an ageing relative (or friend) whose driving ability is in long term decline. Yet, as the law stands, every 3 years after 70 the licence can be renewed if there are no medical conditions or if existing medical conditions have not worsened.

By declining ability, I would cite scuff marks on both sides of the front bumper due to misjudged parking; clipping a mirror of a parked car; missing a well-marked motorway junctions; and taking the wrong exit from a roundabout onto a motorway; and driving onto my neighbour's drive without realising that it had been dug up - all in the last year. I'm not qualified to assess driving ability but to me these are clear signs of increasing risk. How do you persuade somebody to 'quit while they're ahead'?

The first 5 of those symptoms are not exactly unusual or confined to the elderly, the last one sounds strange, though. Are you sure their driving ability is changing, ie they haven't been a bad driver all along?

If they are declining, persuasion is the first step, from people they will listen to.Then the police, if there are some concrete examples of potentially dangerous driving. Medically it is difficult unless you are a very close relative.

Very difficult.

[laters]

I had this with my father a few years back.
He wouldn't accept that his driving was getting worse.
The telltale signs were as the O/P with scuffs appearing on the car and trying to repair scrape damage.

Eventually after a couple more scrapes on the gateposts he admitted enough was enough himself.

That didn't stop him buying a mobility scooter which seems to be the normal thing people do in my area when they stop/are stopped from driving a car.
It did give us a hindsight as to why his driving was so bad.
His observational skills were virtually zero with him getting distracted easily.
Thankfully he soon gave up on the scooter after a few near misses and a lot of pestering from a few of us.

[Mound Dawg]

Had this with my dad. Same thing with the bashed corners on the car, he was displaying classic Mr Magoo symptoms.

Then he had an accident at a roundabout, claimed that the other driver pulled out into the side of his car but the damage was all on the right hand front corner. The other driver claimed that dad had pulled out in front of him. That'll be it then...

While his car was being repaired he had a courtesy car which he damaged three times in one week.

Clearly this couldn't continue so at that point and I took the keys off him and told him I thought he should stop driving.

I kept my two sisters out of it so he'd just be annoyed at me. As Mrs Dawg has pointed out, it's their turn when we tell him he has to go into a home.

Like most old folks he got a scooter. I went for a walk with him on it up to the pub once, even though it was only a mile my body produced more adrenalin than it does on a lap of the 'Ring.

[wack]

If their eyesight or motion is impaired chances are they don't fulfil the requirements to hold a licence so there could be insurance implications in the even of a crash

Insurance usually says provided they hold a licence, if they lied on the form they don't hold a licence so have no insurance

My father in law only ever drove to the supermarket and back but gave up driving at 79 after an incident , he took his car for service at the Ford dealer at 9am , didn't make it , search party(me) called in at noon , he turned up about 4pm

The Ford dealer is in the centre of Warrington , a journey he's made dozens of times , 3 miles at most

He'd spent all day driving round Liverpool 15 miles in the opposite direction but had no recollection of which route he'd taken to get home

We just took the keys off him and sold the car before he killed somebody , he wasn't happy at the time but a few weeks in he realised he couldn't drive any more.

IMO it's far too easy to keep a licence , they might as well just send a form out with one box

Are you ok to drive, tick for yes, very few people will voluntarily give up their independance

I'm not saying there should be another driving test, it's 3 months waiting for a test here but somebody needs to assess drivers once they hit 70

[bloomen]

I remember following an old boy for all of four miles. In those four miles he pulled out of three junctions blind and attempted to park smacking into two cars. His wife was next to him. I can only assume he kept her sedated.