I don't know what to say to my son
Discussion
Not sure if this is the right forum but its mental health related.
We have a good family friend who is my sons best friend, they have been close since the started senior school 12 years ago.
The friend suffers a bit from depression, he has been pretty low for a few weeks and my son has been trying to support him. Yesterday, my son got a text from his friend saying something along the lines of "this is the last you will hear from me"
My son tried to get back to his friend, but his friend had jumped from a high suspension bridge.
Amazingly the 300 foot plus fall didn't kill him, but he is in a very bad way.
My son is coming home in half an hour and I just don't know what to say to him. I go over it in my head time and again, but it just sounds like platitudes, I just feel helpless, and my son is devastated.
Sorry this is part unloading and part "help, how do I help my son deal with this". I worry about his mental health, he had another close friend who he had know since teh age of 3 die of leukemia a couple of years ago, and that hit him hard too.
We have a good family friend who is my sons best friend, they have been close since the started senior school 12 years ago.
The friend suffers a bit from depression, he has been pretty low for a few weeks and my son has been trying to support him. Yesterday, my son got a text from his friend saying something along the lines of "this is the last you will hear from me"
My son tried to get back to his friend, but his friend had jumped from a high suspension bridge.
Amazingly the 300 foot plus fall didn't kill him, but he is in a very bad way.
My son is coming home in half an hour and I just don't know what to say to him. I go over it in my head time and again, but it just sounds like platitudes, I just feel helpless, and my son is devastated.
Sorry this is part unloading and part "help, how do I help my son deal with this". I worry about his mental health, he had another close friend who he had know since teh age of 3 die of leukemia a couple of years ago, and that hit him hard too.
What an awful situation; so sad.
If it was my son, I would give him a big hug, tell him I love him and see where the conversation goes from there. There is no perfect answer that will make this better. Sometimes just saying "I don't know what to say, but if you need anything, I'm here for you" might be enough.
If it was my son, I would give him a big hug, tell him I love him and see where the conversation goes from there. There is no perfect answer that will make this better. Sometimes just saying "I don't know what to say, but if you need anything, I'm here for you" might be enough.
Assuming he survives his injuries (a big assumption) and when he's fit to leave the general hospital, the friend will almost certainly be admitted to a mental health unit. Under the Mental Health Act if necessary.
Assuming he has depression (rather than personality disorder) then there's every chance he could do well from a mental health point of view. It sounds counter intuitive but severe depression respond better than less severe as it's more responsive to the more potent treatments.
Sounds like your son has been a good friend. I'd read the suicide note/text as an acknowledgment of this. He shouldn't knock himself and try to carry on being the friend he has been up to now.
Assuming he has depression (rather than personality disorder) then there's every chance he could do well from a mental health point of view. It sounds counter intuitive but severe depression respond better than less severe as it's more responsive to the more potent treatments.
Sounds like your son has been a good friend. I'd read the suicide note/text as an acknowledgment of this. He shouldn't knock himself and try to carry on being the friend he has been up to now.
oddman said:
Assuming he survives his injuries (a big assumption) and when he's fit to leave the general hospital, the friend will almost certainly be admitted to a mental health unit. Under the Mental Health Act if necessary.
Assuming he has depression (rather than personality disorder) then there's every chance he could do well from a mental health point of view. It sounds counter intuitive but severe depression respond better than less severe as it's more responsive to the more potent treatments.
Sounds like your son has been a good friend. I'd read the suicide note/text as an acknowledgment of this. He shouldn't knock himself and try to carry on being the friend he has been up to now.
Thanks. Amazingly the friend has eaten some breakfast today and is asking for a book to read. I am taking my son to see him shortly. Assuming he has depression (rather than personality disorder) then there's every chance he could do well from a mental health point of view. It sounds counter intuitive but severe depression respond better than less severe as it's more responsive to the more potent treatments.
Sounds like your son has been a good friend. I'd read the suicide note/text as an acknowledgment of this. He shouldn't knock himself and try to carry on being the friend he has been up to now.
In the last 200 years only 2 people have survived a fall from that bridge.
If I calculate correctly, your son and his fried are c.23 years old.
To be honest, I would avoid the self-indulgent wallowing that some are suggesting. I’d tell him honestly but sympathetically about his friend and then get him in a positive mindset by asking how the two of you can help the friend and his family
To be honest, I would avoid the self-indulgent wallowing that some are suggesting. I’d tell him honestly but sympathetically about his friend and then get him in a positive mindset by asking how the two of you can help the friend and his family
ClaphamGT3 said:
If I calculate correctly, your son and his fried are c.23 years old.
To be honest, I would avoid the self-indulgent wallowing that some are suggesting. I’d tell him honestly but sympathetically about his friend and then get him in a positive mindset by asking how the two of you can help the friend and his family
Yes 23. At the hospital now. He is seeing his friend on his own. We have already offered help to the family. To be honest, I would avoid the self-indulgent wallowing that some are suggesting. I’d tell him honestly but sympathetically about his friend and then get him in a positive mindset by asking how the two of you can help the friend and his family
I have private healthcare for our family so will investigate counselling for my son.
That is a lot for one so young to deal with. It is great that you are supporting his friend and family.
Hopefully the friend improves, I wonder if such a close shave with death will in somehow make him want to live.
Best wishes to you all, lesser people would have turned away from helping.
Hopefully the friend improves, I wonder if such a close shave with death will in somehow make him want to live.
Best wishes to you all, lesser people would have turned away from helping.
Thanks everyone for your supportive comments.
Yesterday was quite a tough day, taking my son to the hospital to see his friend, and talking to the friends parents. I think we were the first people they have seen where they felt they didn’t have to keep stuff bottled up.
We then drove my son around all day as he wanted to tell their closest friends personally.
Yesterday was quite a tough day, taking my son to the hospital to see his friend, and talking to the friends parents. I think we were the first people they have seen where they felt they didn’t have to keep stuff bottled up.
We then drove my son around all day as he wanted to tell their closest friends personally.
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff