Monaco in a Weekend: Our Blog
Discussion
Howdy all, just another blog post of the most recent road trip I did with my friends 
It’s not often you hear ‘shall we drive to Monaco for a road trip’, so when presented with this opportunity we all jumped at the chance – whatever the cost. Plans started in early May and consisted of a 6 car road trip driving all the way down France in to Monte Carlo. The cars? Audi A3, Audi A6, BMW Z4, Mini Cooper JCW, Nissan GT-R and a Toyota GT86.
Fast forward 3 months and out of the blue the JCW breaks down at a show, ruling it out of the trip 🙁 And then the GT86 gets swiped by a van! With the cars and some drivers withdrawn from the road trip, Shane in the A3 will join Chris and the BMW Z4, and I jump in to the A6 which means there will be 3 cars with 2 to each car. Let the road trip begin!
Thursday: Get to Maidstone to the hotel, this way we can cut out the UK stint early and focus on a good night’s rest before heading for the Eurotunnel. We arrive at the Mercure Maidstone Great Danes Hotel and parked up at an open area and check in. We didn’t want to park near any trees in case the Maidstone birds decide to descend on to the cars and s
t everywhere. Heading over to the hotel straight from work meant we needed dinner there and we were shocked at the inflated prices presented to us for a poor standard of food.
Jonny and I share the fried calamari and each have a burger and chips dish. There was more veg and lemon than there were calamari! and we basically had 6 chips to a dish along with the super dry burgers. No value for money at all at this ‘brasserie’, costing us £40+ with drinks. The same amount of money could of fed all of us with 2 fkoff platters from Nandos. The joke about having McDonald’s instead that night was no longer a joke…
Oh well. At least the room was fine, enough for us to get some sleep and prepare for the early morning drive to France. It had one huge bed, one small bed, a bog, a barely usable shower and a TV with 2.5 channels. For some reason I ended up with the smaller bed, with Jonny’s reasoning ‘you’re small’. Great.
Some stupid time like 4am, we wake up and get ready to check out and head to the Eurotunnel – this would be my stint to get used to the Audi A6, which is fully kitted out with optional extras. My initial thoughts: this 3.0 litre turbocharged V6 diesel is super smooth and pulls like a train – this is from a custom exhaust and a new ECU tune to produce an insane amount of torque. The gearbox is smooth, but I wasn’t pushing it – not when it’s still pitch black and I’m not really sure where I’m driving! But after a relatively short drive we arrive at the Eurotunnel, we check in and get some breakfast there.
We had to grab our breakfast and eat it on the go as our gate was being called up almost immediately after checking in. With a strike of good fortune they directed our cars to the van carriage, giving us more width and less of a headache to board as we didn’t want any damage to any wheels before the trip begins. We take the opportunity on this journey to prep the cars ready for the drive out of Calais, or in my case, take a few photos and nap – again. I love napping.
Jonny uses the Soft99 Glaco de Cleaner from Nippon Shine to clean any bug st from the window but to also add a hydrophobic layer for rainy situations. Thankfully the forecast for the weekend was sunshine and 26 degrees Celsius. Chris however, noticed the Z4’s tyre warning light pop up as soon as we boarded. As nobody had an inflator, we somehow found a bike pump, and Chris’s HIIT training from Joe Wicks paid dividends.
The train announces our arrival to France, and Jonny offers to do the first French stint. Chris drives the Z4 with Shane, Ash drives the GT-R with Kunle. We leave the train and make headway on to the long journey through France with just under 800 miles to cover.
After a healthy stint on the roads we took this opportunity to radio the other cars to get some photos. Initially I thought the photos were not going to look good but it really does encapsulate the moment; how early it felt, how tired we were, how much we had to travel, possibly even showing our energy levels waning, then our energy levels increase as we get closer to Monaco and the adrenaline kicks in.
The one thing I had learnt about the French motorways with the route we were taking are the tolls. They are costly yet somewhat worthwhile. I mean, nobody wants to pay a fk load just to drive on a straight road – but there is element of luxury that we were paying with these toll charges. Each of our cars were fitted with the Sanef Liber-t tags so we wouldn’t need to stop at every toll to pay – instead, trundling along at 30kph our transponders should talk to the toll and a simple beep confirms a transaction had taken place. Then the barrier lifts, the green light shows and it is a rolling launch at every opportunity!
The motorways can be 2 lanes or 3, but getting to the tolls the road opens up to about 15 lanes with around 2 cars parked behind each one at the toll. So for us it was natural to believe that at every toll we can launch the cars and overtake 42 cars – each time. Sounds reasonable, This Jaguar XKR-S had the same idea:
Another element of luxury – ‘aires’ are situated at a maximum of 20 kilometres to each one, with each aire having a nice place to park up to have a picnic, make use of the toilet breaks, simply to rest your legs. And each aire is clean and tidy, really good for us to change drivers after so many stints. The best part of these motorways – the road surface is like driving on a race track! Blissfully smooth, it’s like the French had never heard of a pot hole in their lives, it was a joy to drive on.
And so we stopped every now and again to change drivers, or for the guys – to let the other halves know we were still alive, to do some Snapchats and to refrain from pissing themselves.
I was back behind the wheel of the Audi for another French stint, and as it’s in broad daylight I can really start to learn about the features that the A6 is equipped with.
Photo: @jonny5whn
The adaptive cruise control is clever, we’re keeping it at 130kph and the Audi senses the road ahead for any wkers who decide to cut in and drive like a prick – and believe me, there were many of them (ask the boys about ‘the blue Skoda’). If it does sense said wker, the car will immediately pull back to 3 car lengths and match its speed, and will revert back when the road is clear. Remarkable.
It is also worth noting just how effortless this drive is. There is just an insane amount of torque after the ECU tune, the car is SO luxurious and powerful it really is the perfect combination for this journey! We continue through France, stopping off at aires to refuel the cars and bodies, swapping the driving so each co-driver can have a nap. We also take more photos because, well why not?
By the way, if you stop by a Shell petrol station to refuel and in need of food – the XXL sandwiches are €5.10 EUR on their own, but the menu XL pack is €5.90 EUR which gives you an XXL sandwich, a grab bag of Walkers/Lays and a can of Coca-Cola – and they’ll even give you a cup to take away when you pay. Definitely more value for money!
We get further down south and the excitement builds as we get closer to Monaco. The beautiful weather proved to us that our weather apps on our phones wasn’t lying; we were heading towards 26°C and sun sun sun!
And FINALLY after that bloody long drive, around 8:00pm we made it in to Monte Carlo! We parked up at the hotel and decide to walk down to the main area to get some late dinner and to explore the night time scenery.
That was literally a bus stop sign that said Monte Carlo, I didn’t actually take a bus. I’m not about that life.
Down by the marina there were some nice cars parked up too, for me it is rare to see a Lexus RC F on the road, but unbelievably there were 2 parked up!
After a quick dinner we made our way back to the hotel to chill and get ready for the next day. On our way back we noticed a Mansory Corrmeum (a Mansory makeover on the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG entirely out of carbon fibre)!!
The next morning.
Nobody was awake but Jonny, and I wanted breakfast down by the marina – so we left the others and went to find somewhere to eat, I’ve always fancied trying a Croque Monseiur as well.
What a brilliant way to have breakfast, the Crock’in Monaco is a lovely place to chill out in the 30°C sun, the nearby water fountain providing a cool breeze whilst you have your morning tea/coffee and food. It felt amazing and perfectly encapsulated the Monaco life we always imagined. We decided to head back to the hotel by taking obscure and scenic routes to see something new and to check out what Monte Carlo has to offer. The residents of Monaco do not mind showing off their cars, that’s for sure. Like this guy who left his Ferrari F12 TDF. And that 30°C became sweltering, fk me sideways it was hot.
We continued our obscure route back to the hotel and the views were spectacular. The cars, the tropical views, the yachts, the climate, it was all just unbelievable.
And back at the hotel car park, some more gems – a Lamborghini Aventador SV parked next to a Ferrari 458 Speciale. And yet back at home I’m parked next to a Renault Kadjar -_-
But the plan on this day (Saturday) was to chill out, enjoy the hotel, get the cars cleaned ready for our photoshoot the next day (Sunday). So after a nice relaxing ice cold shower and maximum use of the hotel air conditioning, we went out to book a few car spa appointments with Marc at Monaco Premium. He only had time to do the exteriors of each car, which was fine as we kept the interiors clean throughout the journey. The cost? €30.00 EUR each. We took the cars over to Monaco Premium and Marc started work on each car with help with his wife.
I must say, the BMW Z4 feels really good to drive. I’m not sure why I felt so negative about it before when I last drove one, but this one felt good to drive, the clutch isn’t heavy and the throttle is decent enough although it did feel a bit electric like an e-throttle or DBW there was a lag between putting your foot down and the engine reacting. perhaps a decat would sharpen the throttle response, I don’t know.
I’ve driven a Nissan GT-R before, a standard one – and they are literally the easiest supercars one can drive. Effortless power from the VR38DETT 3.8 litre twin turbo V6, but this one with a new exhaust system and ECU tune produces 670bhp! And I’m not surprised that it’s a little bit parched, all of the time. While it is a joy to drive at supercar enabled speeds, driving in the city reveals its unfamiliar sounds like the clunky tune of the gearbox, the odd rattle here and there – but don’t let that take anything away from the fact that it is a superb car, it is a new generation Godzilla.
Anyway, the Audi was first up to get cleaned, then the GT-R, then the Z4. More photos:
After a lovely chat with Marc and Patricia, and now weighing €90.00 EUR lighter, we were finally ready for tomorrow’s shoot, so we drove back to get some fuel and then it’s back to the hotel to take yet another shower and get ready for dinner out by the marina. Thank you Marc and Patricia, great work on the cars!
Photo: @jonny5whn
Great to see someone from blighty here too!
I couldn’t help but to take another photo out the window of the mint GT-R slaying the streets of Monte Carlo!
We found a petrol station under ground by a car park, and while the place looked incredible with AMG G63 G-Wagens in for a wash, an Audi R8 V10 Plus being detailed and an SLS ready to be dried, dear lord was the petrol expensive. I don’t think we’ve ever paid that amount in our entire lives. I am not even going to give you the actual figures, but let’s put it this way, it was close to €2.00 EUR per litre, if not more #FML.
Still, the SLS looked banging.
Photo: @jonny5whn
So after that frightful refuel we went back to the hotel and got ready for dinner at Jack’s right by the port. Jack Monaco is a very relaxed place to eat and drink, with massive TVs showing the football and a DJ playing music to fit the mood, it can easily turn in to a club by the port. We make our way down the hill with some absolutely picturesque views:
Photo: Jack.MC
After a lovely dinner and drinks (four seasons pizza, if you’re wondering) we headed back to the hotel via the 24hr supermarket and called it a night. Well, some of us did, a few of the boys went out to a club and just about made it out alive.
The following morning Shane, Jonny and I went for breakfast at the Crock’in again, just simply cannot get enough of that Monte Carlo life in the morning. I went for a pressed orange juice and a pain au chocolat, which was TO DIE FOR. Don’t think I’ve ever had one taste this nice, still warm to the touch yet light and fluffy, effortlessly pulled apart and a rich velvety taste – ridiculously tasty, gastronomically orgasmic.
Also the 3 of us discovered Nutella Biscuits. fkING AMAZING.
Anyway, we were fuelled for the day, it was time to wake the others up and get ready for the photoshoot up in the mountains. As mountain passes go, this was top notch. An amazing drive up and we were rewarded with some jaw dropping views of Monte Carlo. We took the route that lead us to the Alpes-Maritimes area of France to Tête de Chien!
And so, The Dog’s Head.
We walked down to the building with the graffiti to find more!
Back in the cars now and we drive to our other photoshoot location – this time of the cars. We found this observatory place on the laptop but for some reason ended up at a military base… a good enough place to get the cars done! Here I drive the BMW Z4 in varying Sport, Sport+ and and TRC off modes to explore the Z4’s capabilities.
With either of the Sport modes on the throttle sharpens – and that’s exactly how the Z4 should have the throttle response from the word go! All this time driving in normal/comfort mode it felt lagging, lazy. But now, the throttle response is right up there, the steering sharpens and the backbox delete really makes the straight-six engine sing in the mountains! The gearbox is nice and short, but doesn’t have that precise shift sensation that you get in other sports cars. But once you master this gearbox the car is superbly nippy and rewarding!
Before we got to the military base we stopped off again for some more breathtaking views:
After this we continued up the hill until we realised we couldn’t progress any further because we stumbled on a military base – so that’s why that area was blurred out on Google Maps!
As we couldn’t locate the fuse for the auto-sensing bootlid in the Audi, once the bootlid detects movement and automatically close I would prop it up with my head. Harnessed in to the back of the A6 we began our photoshoot going down the mountain – I’m pretty pleased with the results:
We all believe the day was an absolute success: Another amazing 30°C day, beautiful views of Monte Carlo, a super fun photoshoot and seeing how Kunle sweats BUCKETS out in the mountains. While the boys wanted to go back to the hotel for a swim, Jonny and I decide to take the Audi over to France for some more mountain driving – and it was fking amazing. Just take a look at the navigation as an example.
Driving back down the mountain and out of Monte Carlo we were back with the silky roads leading out to the mountains. It’s just incredible the roads they build in the mountains, sweeping turns, hairpins, chicanes, everything!
And then it was time for a driver change – time to fly through the mountains with me behind the wheel 🙂
Seriously Jonny, no need to st the bed about it, we’ll be fine! Sport mode on the gearbox, traction control off, we took on the mountains as hard as Takumi delivered tofu through Akina. And what a car this Audi A6 is!
The power and handling blew me away on the mountain roads, the gearshifts in sport mode are incredibly fast, while the sport mode hangs on to the higher revs to keep the turbo going so power is literally on tap. I threw the car through the turns and hairpins and yes, while it does roll a bit, you have to remember it’s a long wheel base fking powerful beast of a car, carrying everything in the back (which after my drive, may have messed everything up at the back #soz). On the uphill stints the car just powers up there like it was a flat road, while on the downhill sections the brakes a fking superb. It encourages you to brake later, giving you utter confidence that you won’t fly through the wall and kill everyone. What a beast, this drive through Menton was an absolute joy and an unforgettable experience!
I switched my driving behaviour to cool the car down and drove back to the hotel, content with the day and in a ridiculously good mood. We showered (again) and got ready to go for our final night out. Dinner at Jack’s again, did I hear?
More automotive eye candy down by the port at Jack’s, this time in the form of a Ferrari 488 GTB and a wrapped 458 Italia.
We’re back at Jack’s again and intent on completing our final day on a high. Stupid high.
Food is on point, as per normal. Fried calamari with courgette strips, a nice light batter with melt in your mouth calamari and slightly salty courgette strips to cut through and give the starter more texture. The dip adds flavour but pretty one dimensional without a wedge of lemon, as Shane pointed out.
All the drinks came in and we toasted to a fantastic road trip with the best company. Ash had lost the majority of his energy from the driving and partying, but he was determined not to let that spoil the evening. What a trooper!
Fillet steak, cheeseburger, veal, steak tartare, gangster meals for the boys. I finally went for the seafood spaghetti as I decided that while we are so close to the water, surely there would be some fantastic seafood to try out. I was not disappointed at all, the portions were huge and they were so generous with the ingredients! A langoustine, two massive prawns, razor clams, crayfish tails, mussels, clams – everything. Everything was in my spaghetti. fking delicious was an understatement.
Shane’s steak tartare hidden by a hench portion of chips:
And finally a photo of us all courtesy of the super friendly and ridiculously tattooed to the tits waiter. He seemed nice.
It was at this point I didn’t realise a memo went out saying not to smile in the photo.
After this lovely meal we walked to the 24hr supermarket again to grab some final night drinks and food to take back to the hotel. Walking along the port we saw an absolutely gorgeous Ferrari F430 Scuderia parking up (if you could call that parking). It looks amazing, my jaw dropped when I saw it!
At the supermarket, the choices were endless. What beer? How much water? What crisps? MORE Nutella Biscuits? I even looked at the macaroons in the fridge considering them as a final purchase!
Even the cakes were considered…
But we went back with just water and beers. And Nutella Biscuits.
Back at the hotel put the bottles of water in the fridge and opened all the beers to drink over Match of the Day 2, probably the most British way to end a Sunday abroad! However, we opted not to stay out late as we plan to check out of the hotel and leave the car park by 8:30am for the gruelling drive back up to Calais to go home. Shane, Jonny and I decided to pack 90% before we went to sleep, which proved to be a great plan.
The morning: Time to go home.
We saw a ‘Cooks Italian’ café a short walk from the hotel entrance so decided to head there super early in the morning to grab some sort of breakfast. Croissants, what type – actually we don’t care we’ll take them all.
Satisfied with the breakfast, we went back to check out – only to wait for Ash, Chris and Kunle – they were seriously feeling it, and it made us think that the trip back up north may be more difficult than we first realised. We set off, ensuring everyone’s radio was working and making sure we stuck to our guns and head for Calais together.
Chris was really tired, he radioed in a few times for us to check out what aires are nearby and to confirm what fuel range everyone had. The BMW Z4 is surprisingly frugal, the GT-R unsurprisingly thirsty and the Audi unsurprisingly the best of the 3 in fuel economy. After a few hundred miles we pulled over for a short break and I went over to drive the Z4 so Chris could rest. We did a healthy stint with the roof up and air conditioning on (a must!), but we left Monte Carlo early mainly beat the traffic. On the way down we noticed a st tonne of traffic and hoped that we would avoid it when we travel back up. It looked like it wasn’t meant to be though, and there was no sign of identifying the cause of the traffic on the motorway. We need to get to Calais by 11:00pm to stand a chance of making our train home.
‘We should have the roof down in this weather’ Chris said. And since we were near standstill, down the roof went, transforming the car again – I began to understand the appeal of these cars; It is like having 2 different cars at the push of a button. I was beginning to see the appeal, especially in this sunny weather.
Video
Thankfully the traffic fked off so we could be on our way again – but the roof was down, and we were doing 130kph. Radio communication between each car became difficult but there was no time to stop and bring the roof up unless it was a legitimate fuel stop or something. The traffic affected us badly, and we needed to make up the time. When we finally made it to a petrol station (for the GT-R to refuel) Chris had enough rest and took over the driving. Sitting as a passenger in the Z4 I could now capture the Audi on the move.
Photo: @jonny5whn
I even caught a rare car on the road!
And we continued this gruelling drive through France. Day became night, our energy levels waning, but we couldn’t give up, it was 11:00pm or bust. We watched the sun set beautifully and radioed each other to get some photos done:
Another short break at an aire, then another fuel stop for the GT-R, and then it really was Calais or bust.
But it was not meant to be.
We arrive at 11:20pm and French/British Border Control fked everything up and loads of cars were already through but parked in this compound waiting for a train. This meant all of us were delayed from queuing up at Calais not doing anything. A Eurotunnel rep walked over to explain to us what was going on and as expected, many drivers were expressing their displeasure to this guy. An announcement was made shortly after and all the vehicles that were waiting in the compound proceed to board OUR TRAIN. Which meant we were all stranded without a train to get home.
After a lot of arguing and a lot of waiting around doing nothing, I noticed I felt extremely sick from the fumes. But thankfully an announcement was made to inform us that the train would come back for us. But it would be another 2-3 hours before we actually got in to the train.
fking stupid.
But we did it – we finally made it, and we were on our way back home.
Everyone on their last ounce of energy, huddled together, thanked each other for an amazing road trip, and handed back the comms, this was it. Once the train stops and we leave we are heading straight home. Jonny and I had the longest to drive, and we would make it back to mine for 3:00am and Jonny finally getting in just before 4:00am.
Not the way we wanted to end it, but the journey came to an end. It was incredible. We drove down with zero expectations, and while I can’t vouch for the boys, I left with a bit of Monte Carlo close to my heart. Monaco is amazing, though at times hard to comprehend. The weather apps are still not accurate – it should of said it was fking hot. Everything apart from bottled water was expensive. The food was great and the views were sublime.
The cars were faultless, such fantastic machines with each car adopting a different personality to cater for any situation. You have the smooth, calm and collected Audi A6 Avant S-Line, supremely economical even if it is a 3.0 litre turbocharged V6 diesel. It handles the long journeys with ease, but can easily undertake the mountain roads while carrying the equivalent of a house in the boot. Absolutely incredible, definitely a future car for when I (ever/eventually) settle down.
The BMW Z4 has 2 sides to the car; you have the hard top coupé protecting you from the elements, having quite a quiet drive and yet at the flick of the switch, it becomes the ultimate roadster, with the sun shining down onto you as you drive around catch a tan/burn, and with the backbox delete the exhaust gives you that straight six symphony wherever you go. Utterly amazing, an absolute gem of a sports car.
And you also have the bonkers Nissan GT-R. With its Candy Apple Red wheels, decatted exhaust system and carbon rear spoiler it is certainly looks how it sounds. It’s incredibly ferocious, barking through the tunnels as well waking up half of Monte Carlo. It eats up the miles in a demonic fashion and we simply cannot get enough of it.
But it ultimately takes a good team to make a fantastic road trip. So I thank Ash, Kunle, Chris, Shane and Jonny for being the great Monte Carlo team, achieving our goal of driving to Monte Carlo and back, what a bucket list event.
We started the trip as friends, but finished it as brothers.
Merci beaucoup, mon équipe.
Au revoir Monte-Carlo.
It’s not often you hear ‘shall we drive to Monaco for a road trip’, so when presented with this opportunity we all jumped at the chance – whatever the cost. Plans started in early May and consisted of a 6 car road trip driving all the way down France in to Monte Carlo. The cars? Audi A3, Audi A6, BMW Z4, Mini Cooper JCW, Nissan GT-R and a Toyota GT86.
Fast forward 3 months and out of the blue the JCW breaks down at a show, ruling it out of the trip 🙁 And then the GT86 gets swiped by a van! With the cars and some drivers withdrawn from the road trip, Shane in the A3 will join Chris and the BMW Z4, and I jump in to the A6 which means there will be 3 cars with 2 to each car. Let the road trip begin!
Thursday: Get to Maidstone to the hotel, this way we can cut out the UK stint early and focus on a good night’s rest before heading for the Eurotunnel. We arrive at the Mercure Maidstone Great Danes Hotel and parked up at an open area and check in. We didn’t want to park near any trees in case the Maidstone birds decide to descend on to the cars and s
t everywhere. Heading over to the hotel straight from work meant we needed dinner there and we were shocked at the inflated prices presented to us for a poor standard of food.Jonny and I share the fried calamari and each have a burger and chips dish. There was more veg and lemon than there were calamari! and we basically had 6 chips to a dish along with the super dry burgers. No value for money at all at this ‘brasserie’, costing us £40+ with drinks. The same amount of money could of fed all of us with 2 f
koff platters from Nandos. The joke about having McDonald’s instead that night was no longer a joke…Oh well. At least the room was fine, enough for us to get some sleep and prepare for the early morning drive to France. It had one huge bed, one small bed, a bog, a barely usable shower and a TV with 2.5 channels. For some reason I ended up with the smaller bed, with Jonny’s reasoning ‘you’re small’. Great.
Some stupid time like 4am, we wake up and get ready to check out and head to the Eurotunnel – this would be my stint to get used to the Audi A6, which is fully kitted out with optional extras. My initial thoughts: this 3.0 litre turbocharged V6 diesel is super smooth and pulls like a train – this is from a custom exhaust and a new ECU tune to produce an insane amount of torque. The gearbox is smooth, but I wasn’t pushing it – not when it’s still pitch black and I’m not really sure where I’m driving! But after a relatively short drive we arrive at the Eurotunnel, we check in and get some breakfast there.
We had to grab our breakfast and eat it on the go as our gate was being called up almost immediately after checking in. With a strike of good fortune they directed our cars to the van carriage, giving us more width and less of a headache to board as we didn’t want any damage to any wheels before the trip begins. We take the opportunity on this journey to prep the cars ready for the drive out of Calais, or in my case, take a few photos and nap – again. I love napping.
Jonny uses the Soft99 Glaco de Cleaner from Nippon Shine to clean any bug s
t from the window but to also add a hydrophobic layer for rainy situations. Thankfully the forecast for the weekend was sunshine and 26 degrees Celsius. Chris however, noticed the Z4’s tyre warning light pop up as soon as we boarded. As nobody had an inflator, we somehow found a bike pump, and Chris’s HIIT training from Joe Wicks paid dividends.The train announces our arrival to France, and Jonny offers to do the first French stint. Chris drives the Z4 with Shane, Ash drives the GT-R with Kunle. We leave the train and make headway on to the long journey through France with just under 800 miles to cover.
After a healthy stint on the roads we took this opportunity to radio the other cars to get some photos. Initially I thought the photos were not going to look good but it really does encapsulate the moment; how early it felt, how tired we were, how much we had to travel, possibly even showing our energy levels waning, then our energy levels increase as we get closer to Monaco and the adrenaline kicks in.
The one thing I had learnt about the French motorways with the route we were taking are the tolls. They are costly yet somewhat worthwhile. I mean, nobody wants to pay a f
k load just to drive on a straight road – but there is element of luxury that we were paying with these toll charges. Each of our cars were fitted with the Sanef Liber-t tags so we wouldn’t need to stop at every toll to pay – instead, trundling along at 30kph our transponders should talk to the toll and a simple beep confirms a transaction had taken place. Then the barrier lifts, the green light shows and it is a rolling launch at every opportunity!The motorways can be 2 lanes or 3, but getting to the tolls the road opens up to about 15 lanes with around 2 cars parked behind each one at the toll. So for us it was natural to believe that at every toll we can launch the cars and overtake 42 cars – each time. Sounds reasonable, This Jaguar XKR-S had the same idea:
Another element of luxury – ‘aires’ are situated at a maximum of 20 kilometres to each one, with each aire having a nice place to park up to have a picnic, make use of the toilet breaks, simply to rest your legs. And each aire is clean and tidy, really good for us to change drivers after so many stints. The best part of these motorways – the road surface is like driving on a race track! Blissfully smooth, it’s like the French had never heard of a pot hole in their lives, it was a joy to drive on.
And so we stopped every now and again to change drivers, or for the guys – to let the other halves know we were still alive, to do some Snapchats and to refrain from pissing themselves.
I was back behind the wheel of the Audi for another French stint, and as it’s in broad daylight I can really start to learn about the features that the A6 is equipped with.
Photo: @jonny5whn
The adaptive cruise control is clever, we’re keeping it at 130kph and the Audi senses the road ahead for any w
kers who decide to cut in and drive like a prick – and believe me, there were many of them (ask the boys about ‘the blue Skoda’). If it does sense said wker, the car will immediately pull back to 3 car lengths and match its speed, and will revert back when the road is clear. Remarkable.It is also worth noting just how effortless this drive is. There is just an insane amount of torque after the ECU tune, the car is SO luxurious and powerful it really is the perfect combination for this journey! We continue through France, stopping off at aires to refuel the cars and bodies, swapping the driving so each co-driver can have a nap. We also take more photos because, well why not?
By the way, if you stop by a Shell petrol station to refuel and in need of food – the XXL sandwiches are €5.10 EUR on their own, but the menu XL pack is €5.90 EUR which gives you an XXL sandwich, a grab bag of Walkers/Lays and a can of Coca-Cola – and they’ll even give you a cup to take away when you pay. Definitely more value for money!
We get further down south and the excitement builds as we get closer to Monaco. The beautiful weather proved to us that our weather apps on our phones wasn’t lying; we were heading towards 26°C and sun sun sun!
And FINALLY after that bloody long drive, around 8:00pm we made it in to Monte Carlo! We parked up at the hotel and decide to walk down to the main area to get some late dinner and to explore the night time scenery.
That was literally a bus stop sign that said Monte Carlo, I didn’t actually take a bus. I’m not about that life.
Down by the marina there were some nice cars parked up too, for me it is rare to see a Lexus RC F on the road, but unbelievably there were 2 parked up!
After a quick dinner we made our way back to the hotel to chill and get ready for the next day. On our way back we noticed a Mansory Corrmeum (a Mansory makeover on the Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG entirely out of carbon fibre)!!
The next morning.
Nobody was awake but Jonny, and I wanted breakfast down by the marina – so we left the others and went to find somewhere to eat, I’ve always fancied trying a Croque Monseiur as well.
What a brilliant way to have breakfast, the Crock’in Monaco is a lovely place to chill out in the 30°C sun, the nearby water fountain providing a cool breeze whilst you have your morning tea/coffee and food. It felt amazing and perfectly encapsulated the Monaco life we always imagined. We decided to head back to the hotel by taking obscure and scenic routes to see something new and to check out what Monte Carlo has to offer. The residents of Monaco do not mind showing off their cars, that’s for sure. Like this guy who left his Ferrari F12 TDF. And that 30°C became sweltering, f
k me sideways it was hot.We continued our obscure route back to the hotel and the views were spectacular. The cars, the tropical views, the yachts, the climate, it was all just unbelievable.
And back at the hotel car park, some more gems – a Lamborghini Aventador SV parked next to a Ferrari 458 Speciale. And yet back at home I’m parked next to a Renault Kadjar -_-
But the plan on this day (Saturday) was to chill out, enjoy the hotel, get the cars cleaned ready for our photoshoot the next day (Sunday). So after a nice relaxing ice cold shower and maximum use of the hotel air conditioning, we went out to book a few car spa appointments with Marc at Monaco Premium. He only had time to do the exteriors of each car, which was fine as we kept the interiors clean throughout the journey. The cost? €30.00 EUR each. We took the cars over to Monaco Premium and Marc started work on each car with help with his wife.
I must say, the BMW Z4 feels really good to drive. I’m not sure why I felt so negative about it before when I last drove one, but this one felt good to drive, the clutch isn’t heavy and the throttle is decent enough although it did feel a bit electric like an e-throttle or DBW there was a lag between putting your foot down and the engine reacting. perhaps a decat would sharpen the throttle response, I don’t know.
I’ve driven a Nissan GT-R before, a standard one – and they are literally the easiest supercars one can drive. Effortless power from the VR38DETT 3.8 litre twin turbo V6, but this one with a new exhaust system and ECU tune produces 670bhp! And I’m not surprised that it’s a little bit parched, all of the time. While it is a joy to drive at supercar enabled speeds, driving in the city reveals its unfamiliar sounds like the clunky tune of the gearbox, the odd rattle here and there – but don’t let that take anything away from the fact that it is a superb car, it is a new generation Godzilla.
Anyway, the Audi was first up to get cleaned, then the GT-R, then the Z4. More photos:
After a lovely chat with Marc and Patricia, and now weighing €90.00 EUR lighter, we were finally ready for tomorrow’s shoot, so we drove back to get some fuel and then it’s back to the hotel to take yet another shower and get ready for dinner out by the marina. Thank you Marc and Patricia, great work on the cars!
Photo: @jonny5whn
Great to see someone from blighty here too!
I couldn’t help but to take another photo out the window of the mint GT-R slaying the streets of Monte Carlo!
We found a petrol station under ground by a car park, and while the place looked incredible with AMG G63 G-Wagens in for a wash, an Audi R8 V10 Plus being detailed and an SLS ready to be dried, dear lord was the petrol expensive. I don’t think we’ve ever paid that amount in our entire lives. I am not even going to give you the actual figures, but let’s put it this way, it was close to €2.00 EUR per litre, if not more #FML.
Still, the SLS looked banging.
Photo: @jonny5whn
So after that frightful refuel we went back to the hotel and got ready for dinner at Jack’s right by the port. Jack Monaco is a very relaxed place to eat and drink, with massive TVs showing the football and a DJ playing music to fit the mood, it can easily turn in to a club by the port. We make our way down the hill with some absolutely picturesque views:
Photo: Jack.MC
After a lovely dinner and drinks (four seasons pizza, if you’re wondering) we headed back to the hotel via the 24hr supermarket and called it a night. Well, some of us did, a few of the boys went out to a club and just about made it out alive.
The following morning Shane, Jonny and I went for breakfast at the Crock’in again, just simply cannot get enough of that Monte Carlo life in the morning. I went for a pressed orange juice and a pain au chocolat, which was TO DIE FOR. Don’t think I’ve ever had one taste this nice, still warm to the touch yet light and fluffy, effortlessly pulled apart and a rich velvety taste – ridiculously tasty, gastronomically orgasmic.
Also the 3 of us discovered Nutella Biscuits. f
kING AMAZING.Anyway, we were fuelled for the day, it was time to wake the others up and get ready for the photoshoot up in the mountains. As mountain passes go, this was top notch. An amazing drive up and we were rewarded with some jaw dropping views of Monte Carlo. We took the route that lead us to the Alpes-Maritimes area of France to Tête de Chien!
And so, The Dog’s Head.
We walked down to the building with the graffiti to find more!
Back in the cars now and we drive to our other photoshoot location – this time of the cars. We found this observatory place on the laptop but for some reason ended up at a military base… a good enough place to get the cars done! Here I drive the BMW Z4 in varying Sport, Sport+ and and TRC off modes to explore the Z4’s capabilities.
With either of the Sport modes on the throttle sharpens – and that’s exactly how the Z4 should have the throttle response from the word go! All this time driving in normal/comfort mode it felt lagging, lazy. But now, the throttle response is right up there, the steering sharpens and the backbox delete really makes the straight-six engine sing in the mountains! The gearbox is nice and short, but doesn’t have that precise shift sensation that you get in other sports cars. But once you master this gearbox the car is superbly nippy and rewarding!
Before we got to the military base we stopped off again for some more breathtaking views:
After this we continued up the hill until we realised we couldn’t progress any further because we stumbled on a military base – so that’s why that area was blurred out on Google Maps!
As we couldn’t locate the fuse for the auto-sensing bootlid in the Audi, once the bootlid detects movement and automatically close I would prop it up with my head. Harnessed in to the back of the A6 we began our photoshoot going down the mountain – I’m pretty pleased with the results:
We all believe the day was an absolute success: Another amazing 30°C day, beautiful views of Monte Carlo, a super fun photoshoot and seeing how Kunle sweats BUCKETS out in the mountains. While the boys wanted to go back to the hotel for a swim, Jonny and I decide to take the Audi over to France for some more mountain driving – and it was f
king amazing. Just take a look at the navigation as an example.Driving back down the mountain and out of Monte Carlo we were back with the silky roads leading out to the mountains. It’s just incredible the roads they build in the mountains, sweeping turns, hairpins, chicanes, everything!
And then it was time for a driver change – time to fly through the mountains with me behind the wheel 🙂
Seriously Jonny, no need to s
t the bed about it, we’ll be fine! Sport mode on the gearbox, traction control off, we took on the mountains as hard as Takumi delivered tofu through Akina. And what a car this Audi A6 is!The power and handling blew me away on the mountain roads, the gearshifts in sport mode are incredibly fast, while the sport mode hangs on to the higher revs to keep the turbo going so power is literally on tap. I threw the car through the turns and hairpins and yes, while it does roll a bit, you have to remember it’s a long wheel base f
king powerful beast of a car, carrying everything in the back (which after my drive, may have messed everything up at the back #soz). On the uphill stints the car just powers up there like it was a flat road, while on the downhill sections the brakes a fking superb. It encourages you to brake later, giving you utter confidence that you won’t fly through the wall and kill everyone. What a beast, this drive through Menton was an absolute joy and an unforgettable experience!I switched my driving behaviour to cool the car down and drove back to the hotel, content with the day and in a ridiculously good mood. We showered (again) and got ready to go for our final night out. Dinner at Jack’s again, did I hear?
More automotive eye candy down by the port at Jack’s, this time in the form of a Ferrari 488 GTB and a wrapped 458 Italia.
We’re back at Jack’s again and intent on completing our final day on a high. Stupid high.
Food is on point, as per normal. Fried calamari with courgette strips, a nice light batter with melt in your mouth calamari and slightly salty courgette strips to cut through and give the starter more texture. The dip adds flavour but pretty one dimensional without a wedge of lemon, as Shane pointed out.
All the drinks came in and we toasted to a fantastic road trip with the best company. Ash had lost the majority of his energy from the driving and partying, but he was determined not to let that spoil the evening. What a trooper!
Fillet steak, cheeseburger, veal, steak tartare, gangster meals for the boys. I finally went for the seafood spaghetti as I decided that while we are so close to the water, surely there would be some fantastic seafood to try out. I was not disappointed at all, the portions were huge and they were so generous with the ingredients! A langoustine, two massive prawns, razor clams, crayfish tails, mussels, clams – everything. Everything was in my spaghetti. f
king delicious was an understatement.Shane’s steak tartare hidden by a hench portion of chips:
And finally a photo of us all courtesy of the super friendly and ridiculously tattooed to the tits waiter. He seemed nice.
It was at this point I didn’t realise a memo went out saying not to smile in the photo.
After this lovely meal we walked to the 24hr supermarket again to grab some final night drinks and food to take back to the hotel. Walking along the port we saw an absolutely gorgeous Ferrari F430 Scuderia parking up (if you could call that parking). It looks amazing, my jaw dropped when I saw it!
At the supermarket, the choices were endless. What beer? How much water? What crisps? MORE Nutella Biscuits? I even looked at the macaroons in the fridge considering them as a final purchase!
Even the cakes were considered…
But we went back with just water and beers. And Nutella Biscuits.
Back at the hotel put the bottles of water in the fridge and opened all the beers to drink over Match of the Day 2, probably the most British way to end a Sunday abroad! However, we opted not to stay out late as we plan to check out of the hotel and leave the car park by 8:30am for the gruelling drive back up to Calais to go home. Shane, Jonny and I decided to pack 90% before we went to sleep, which proved to be a great plan.
The morning: Time to go home.
We saw a ‘Cooks Italian’ café a short walk from the hotel entrance so decided to head there super early in the morning to grab some sort of breakfast. Croissants, what type – actually we don’t care we’ll take them all.
Satisfied with the breakfast, we went back to check out – only to wait for Ash, Chris and Kunle – they were seriously feeling it, and it made us think that the trip back up north may be more difficult than we first realised. We set off, ensuring everyone’s radio was working and making sure we stuck to our guns and head for Calais together.
Chris was really tired, he radioed in a few times for us to check out what aires are nearby and to confirm what fuel range everyone had. The BMW Z4 is surprisingly frugal, the GT-R unsurprisingly thirsty and the Audi unsurprisingly the best of the 3 in fuel economy. After a few hundred miles we pulled over for a short break and I went over to drive the Z4 so Chris could rest. We did a healthy stint with the roof up and air conditioning on (a must!), but we left Monte Carlo early mainly beat the traffic. On the way down we noticed a s
t tonne of traffic and hoped that we would avoid it when we travel back up. It looked like it wasn’t meant to be though, and there was no sign of identifying the cause of the traffic on the motorway. We need to get to Calais by 11:00pm to stand a chance of making our train home.‘We should have the roof down in this weather’ Chris said. And since we were near standstill, down the roof went, transforming the car again – I began to understand the appeal of these cars; It is like having 2 different cars at the push of a button. I was beginning to see the appeal, especially in this sunny weather.
Video
Thankfully the traffic f
ked off so we could be on our way again – but the roof was down, and we were doing 130kph. Radio communication between each car became difficult but there was no time to stop and bring the roof up unless it was a legitimate fuel stop or something. The traffic affected us badly, and we needed to make up the time. When we finally made it to a petrol station (for the GT-R to refuel) Chris had enough rest and took over the driving. Sitting as a passenger in the Z4 I could now capture the Audi on the move.Photo: @jonny5whn
I even caught a rare car on the road!
And we continued this gruelling drive through France. Day became night, our energy levels waning, but we couldn’t give up, it was 11:00pm or bust. We watched the sun set beautifully and radioed each other to get some photos done:
Another short break at an aire, then another fuel stop for the GT-R, and then it really was Calais or bust.
But it was not meant to be.
We arrive at 11:20pm and French/British Border Control f
ked everything up and loads of cars were already through but parked in this compound waiting for a train. This meant all of us were delayed from queuing up at Calais not doing anything. A Eurotunnel rep walked over to explain to us what was going on and as expected, many drivers were expressing their displeasure to this guy. An announcement was made shortly after and all the vehicles that were waiting in the compound proceed to board OUR TRAIN. Which meant we were all stranded without a train to get home.After a lot of arguing and a lot of waiting around doing nothing, I noticed I felt extremely sick from the fumes. But thankfully an announcement was made to inform us that the train would come back for us. But it would be another 2-3 hours before we actually got in to the train.
f
king stupid.But we did it – we finally made it, and we were on our way back home.
Everyone on their last ounce of energy, huddled together, thanked each other for an amazing road trip, and handed back the comms, this was it. Once the train stops and we leave we are heading straight home. Jonny and I had the longest to drive, and we would make it back to mine for 3:00am and Jonny finally getting in just before 4:00am.
Not the way we wanted to end it, but the journey came to an end. It was incredible. We drove down with zero expectations, and while I can’t vouch for the boys, I left with a bit of Monte Carlo close to my heart. Monaco is amazing, though at times hard to comprehend. The weather apps are still not accurate – it should of said it was f
king hot. Everything apart from bottled water was expensive. The food was great and the views were sublime.The cars were faultless, such fantastic machines with each car adopting a different personality to cater for any situation. You have the smooth, calm and collected Audi A6 Avant S-Line, supremely economical even if it is a 3.0 litre turbocharged V6 diesel. It handles the long journeys with ease, but can easily undertake the mountain roads while carrying the equivalent of a house in the boot. Absolutely incredible, definitely a future car for when I (ever/eventually) settle down.
The BMW Z4 has 2 sides to the car; you have the hard top coupé protecting you from the elements, having quite a quiet drive and yet at the flick of the switch, it becomes the ultimate roadster, with the sun shining down onto you as you drive around catch a tan/burn, and with the backbox delete the exhaust gives you that straight six symphony wherever you go. Utterly amazing, an absolute gem of a sports car.
And you also have the bonkers Nissan GT-R. With its Candy Apple Red wheels, decatted exhaust system and carbon rear spoiler it is certainly looks how it sounds. It’s incredibly ferocious, barking through the tunnels as well waking up half of Monte Carlo. It eats up the miles in a demonic fashion and we simply cannot get enough of it.
But it ultimately takes a good team to make a fantastic road trip. So I thank Ash, Kunle, Chris, Shane and Jonny for being the great Monte Carlo team, achieving our goal of driving to Monte Carlo and back, what a bucket list event.
We started the trip as friends, but finished it as brothers.
Merci beaucoup, mon équipe.
Au revoir Monte-Carlo.
Tickle said:
Great thread and pics... took some time for them to load!
I would love to venture to mainland Europe, having a young family means it maybe a bit tricky for the moment. Certainly on the list of things to do!
Thanks for sharing your trip though, a bit of inspiration.
Thank you for taking the time to read it! Yeah I believe my server is a little bit slow, soz about that.I would love to venture to mainland Europe, having a young family means it maybe a bit tricky for the moment. Certainly on the list of things to do!
Thanks for sharing your trip though, a bit of inspiration.
The stops break it up for the family into manageable pieces, we saw families having picnics and whatnot, it can be done honest!
Allyc85 said:
Really enjoyed reading this write up. As mad as driving on the Cote d'Azur can be I love the place and fact you can go from beach to epic roads in minutes. Would love to go back at some point with my own car and not a hired POS!
Thank you for the kind words! What car did you take originally?Dannythemusicman said:
Fab write up. You know it’s a good’un when you get me googling the route & costs 
Thank you for the kind words Danny! Reading back at it now does bring back good memories; the sunshine, the beach, the food, the roads, hilarious moments and everything in between!
Cracking read and photos...
I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
I've just come back from almost 2 years working in Monaco: I drove many of the roads in your photos almost every day. It is indeed an amazing place and I'm sure I'll return at some point.
I often used to chat to groups of Brits down there doing similar to you, never found anybody who was on PH though.
I often used to chat to groups of Brits down there doing similar to you, never found anybody who was on PH though.
K50 DEL said:
Cracking read and photos...
I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
Thank you very much and good luck with your trip, it should be amazing. If you're going around the same time I went, I received a tip-off that the Grimaldo Forum car park is packed with some absolute car spotting gems, but then again in the evenings they'll most likely be driven up to Casino Square! I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
Geekman said:
I've just come back from almost 2 years working in Monaco: I drove many of the roads in your photos almost every day. It is indeed an amazing place and I'm sure I'll return at some point.
I often used to chat to groups of Brits down there doing similar to you, never found anybody who was on PH though.
Oh mate, the roads are just devine. That very moment we arrived back in the UK and drove on the motorway, part of me died inside with how dreadful our roads are.I often used to chat to groups of Brits down there doing similar to you, never found anybody who was on PH though.
Luckily I did post up on here to meet more like minded people who have done or are considering the trip down to Monte Carlo, it really is a truly unforgettable experience.
Kesler said:
K50 DEL said:
Cracking read and photos...
I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
Thank you very much and good luck with your trip, it should be amazing. If you're going around the same time I went, I received a tip-off that the Grimaldo Forum car park is packed with some absolute car spotting gems, but then again in the evenings they'll most likely be driven up to Casino Square! I'm in the planning stages of a 3 week Euro road trip next year and have 3 days scheduled for Monaco, several of your sights (that dogs head pass - wow) have made it onto my list already.
Looking forward to being there, one of those real "bucket list" places!
Hoping for a good trip, just a shame that it's only me!
K50 DEL said:
I'm going toward the end of June/ start of July as a little later in the trip I'm going to spectate on the first few days of the Tour De France before joining the PH crew at the Le Mans Classic.
Hoping for a good trip, just a shame that it's only me!
Oh nice!! That would be incredibly fun. Why don't you bring someone along, *cough* halve your costs *cough* terrible coughHoping for a good trip, just a shame that it's only me!
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