Alfa Romeo 147 2.0 Twin Spark - Unseen-ish
Discussion
There are probably more entertaining ways to spend an evening when it is nipple shatteringly cold and pitch black outside than crawling around on your hands and knees looking for a 13mm nut that you’ve just dropped and heard roll away somewhere.
Nevertheless this is what I was doing last night as I was swapping the two batteries over on the cars.
The donor car had an interesting fix for a slightly loose battery terminal, namely a screw jammed in to take up the slack
I had hoped to swap the battery strap too as mine has lost the battery clamp but that means taking out the whole tray which although it only looks like four bolts isn’t. This is because one of the many fuse boxes is mounted to the tray and needs lifting out, in the donor which everything chopped out it isn’t a big deal - on mine there’s no way I could be arsed to remove all that so I just snipped the strap with scissors and swapped the battery and the outside part of the clamp. It still holds the battery firmly in place, at least it does after I finally found the runaway nut in the front flower bed
I was going to put the other battery back in the donor to help shuttle it about but it is crustier than a very crusty thing, plus it turns out 147s are quite light and popping the donor in neutral and pushing and pulling it around the yard feels far more Ironman than going to the gym anyway.
I’m pretty sure my wife shaking her head at me through the window was a sign of her awe at my physical prowess and not despair at the buffoon she has married.
Feeling pleased with myself, it was only appropriate the Alfa should catch my attention by breaking something.
After a previous poster spotted my coolant was low, I topped it up but it is now low again.
The culprit is plain to see - The two halves of the expansion tank have separated so coolant is coming out of the middle seal under pressure so that’s another job to swap from the donor - Alrhough the donor one is the kind of rusty orange that comes from running the same coolant for 5-6 years
Nevertheless this is what I was doing last night as I was swapping the two batteries over on the cars.
The donor car had an interesting fix for a slightly loose battery terminal, namely a screw jammed in to take up the slack
I had hoped to swap the battery strap too as mine has lost the battery clamp but that means taking out the whole tray which although it only looks like four bolts isn’t. This is because one of the many fuse boxes is mounted to the tray and needs lifting out, in the donor which everything chopped out it isn’t a big deal - on mine there’s no way I could be arsed to remove all that so I just snipped the strap with scissors and swapped the battery and the outside part of the clamp. It still holds the battery firmly in place, at least it does after I finally found the runaway nut in the front flower bed
I was going to put the other battery back in the donor to help shuttle it about but it is crustier than a very crusty thing, plus it turns out 147s are quite light and popping the donor in neutral and pushing and pulling it around the yard feels far more Ironman than going to the gym anyway.
I’m pretty sure my wife shaking her head at me through the window was a sign of her awe at my physical prowess and not despair at the buffoon she has married.
Feeling pleased with myself, it was only appropriate the Alfa should catch my attention by breaking something.
After a previous poster spotted my coolant was low, I topped it up but it is now low again.
The culprit is plain to see - The two halves of the expansion tank have separated so coolant is coming out of the middle seal under pressure so that’s another job to swap from the donor - Alrhough the donor one is the kind of rusty orange that comes from running the same coolant for 5-6 years
There are ther fringe benefits to having a car you care only loosely for...
Curiously, despite having warnings for everything and anything (The new battery seems to have cured the ASR fault for now) Alfa didn’t put a screenwash low alert in their not quite infinite box of bleeps and bongs.
So it was with some disdain on my muddy country lane commute that I realised I’d run out and my screen was rendered almost impossible to see out of.
Fortunately it had rained last night and the fact I’m driving a shed of sorts meant I passed the time on the final three miles to work perfecting the right combination speed and steering lock when ploughing through puddles to splurge sufficient dirty and grit filled water on my windshield to give the wipers half a chance at clearing the screen.
At no point did I try to pretend I was Richard Burns/Colin McRae on a forest stage, honest.
I shall be exiting work stage left this evening to get some screenwash before attempting my return trip as I don’t fancy a repeat performance in the dark.
Curiously, despite having warnings for everything and anything (The new battery seems to have cured the ASR fault for now
) Alfa didn’t put a screenwash low alert in their not quite infinite box of bleeps and bongs.So it was with some disdain on my muddy country lane commute that I realised I’d run out and my screen was rendered almost impossible to see out of.
Fortunately it had rained last night and the fact I’m driving a shed of sorts meant I passed the time on the final three miles to work perfecting the right combination speed and steering lock when ploughing through puddles to splurge sufficient dirty and grit filled water on my windshield to give the wipers half a chance at clearing the screen.
At no point did I try to pretend I was Richard Burns/Colin McRae on a forest stage, honest.
I shall be exiting work stage left this evening to get some screenwash before attempting my return trip as I don’t fancy a repeat performance in the dark.
Had a fumble about under the seats yesterday with a view to swapping at least the drivers side over with these chilly winter mornings upon us.
A quick poke about confirmed that the myth that all the 147s left the factory with the same loom is somewhat untrue...
Heaty seat plug/loom
No heaty seat plug/loom ...
I’ll probably trash the donor a little bit more tracing where the loom goes to see if I can be arsed to transplant or copy it, failing that I might just pull a power feed from somewhere else and fuse accordingly.
Would be nice to do it properly, though that depends on the weather over xmas and the volume of impromptu relatives that arrive and impose themselves on my drinks cabinet/hospitality.
Determined to do something successful, I instead thought I’d strip the keys and see if I could cobble together a combination of a working pcb and transponder for the sole current key seeing as the original pcb is trashed.
I’m sure somebody somewhere has a special tool for splitting key halves but I opted for the “...The last thing I remember I was separating two frozen beef burgers with a knife and now I’m in A&E” approach of sticking a steak knife in there an wobbling it about in the palm of my hand.
Et voila! and no ambulance in sight.
I managed not to bugger up the transponders in the changeover so the car does start but alas pressing the remote still does sod all in the remote locking department.
Ok the plus side, the time spent outside had allowed the wine I’d left open by the log burner to breathe just enough for me to take an insouciant swig and ponder where my life went wrong as the wife casually let slip she’d splurged £350 notes on a new rug (to replace the less than 12 month old £800 one that she'd ruined with a Rug Doctor).
A quick poke about confirmed that the myth that all the 147s left the factory with the same loom is somewhat untrue...
Heaty seat plug/loom
No heaty seat plug/loom ...
I’ll probably trash the donor a little bit more tracing where the loom goes to see if I can be arsed to transplant or copy it, failing that I might just pull a power feed from somewhere else and fuse accordingly.
Would be nice to do it properly, though that depends on the weather over xmas and the volume of impromptu relatives that arrive and impose themselves on my drinks cabinet/hospitality.
Determined to do something successful, I instead thought I’d strip the keys and see if I could cobble together a combination of a working pcb and transponder for the sole current key seeing as the original pcb is trashed.
I’m sure somebody somewhere has a special tool for splitting key halves but I opted for the “...The last thing I remember I was separating two frozen beef burgers with a knife and now I’m in A&E” approach of sticking a steak knife in there an wobbling it about in the palm of my hand.
Et voila! and no ambulance in sight.
I managed not to bugger up the transponders in the changeover so the car does start but alas pressing the remote still does sod all in the remote locking department.
Ok the plus side, the time spent outside had allowed the wine I’d left open by the log burner to breathe just enough for me to take an insouciant swig and ponder where my life went wrong as the wife casually let slip she’d splurged £350 notes on a new rug (to replace the less than 12 month old £800 one that she'd ruined with a Rug Doctor).
ivanhoew said:
I hope you showed true appreciation of her economising by not getting another 800 pound one ?
It’s only fair her trying to get a cheaper one, she’s spent £200 so far trying to clean/repair the damage she’s done to the other one that’s eaten up some of her non-existant budget...I tend to view all this like some sort of weird game show where you score points by being the Zen master.
Then again, I’m working in Winchester next week for a day and there’s a collection only black front 147 bumper just down the road in Havant I could bid on
Technology is a wonderful thing but it makes us weak.
This morning as I sipped at my filter coffee, that comes on every day via a time switch, I marvelled as the PHEV came on via a similar timer and defrosted the iced over windscreen without anyone lifting a finger.
Unfortunately, I was taking the Alfa to work today so I interrupted my reverie and pulled on a glove with all the joy of the apprentice vet that has just found out he’s got the business end of the cow to examine and stepped out to scrape the screen
Some of the drudge of scraping the window was taken away by the fact I found a rather good ice scraper in the donor Alfa - for those interested, a genuine Alfa ice scraper is one of the more extravagant options when speccing a new Giulia (an eye popping £44).
I realised as I drove to work just how much of a fanny I have become, my hands were cold, the seats were cold to their leathery core and I probably lost about four degrees in body heat through my thighs on the commute, despite the heater blowing hot air.
Plus, over 25 miles it never occurred to the washer jets that thawing out would be at all helpful to me.
Similar high jinks occurred on the way home, the windscreen was relatively clear but instinctively I pulled the washer jets to see if a black bonnet and winter sun had defrosted them before setting off.
It had and yes, we’ve all done it but the second it hit the screen, the b
d screenwash froze solid and plunged me into the world of a cataracts sufferer.
So for the second time today the scraper had to come out before I could set off home, whimpering at how cold my arse was but alas in Alfaville there was one more ignomy to come...
To leave the office, it is necessary to swipe your card to raise the barrier, naturally I pulled alongside the sensor but pressing down on the window switch did nothing except make a small KRCK! noise that told me my window was frozen shut. Repeated pressing of the switch didn’t do anything and as I was alongside the wall/pass I couldn’t open the door either, cars were behind me waiting to leave so reverse was also off the table.
The only available recourse was to start banging on the window from the inside in some kind frenzy - not unlike a passenger being driven into a lake in some crappy b movie.
The poor taxi driver waiting to come in the other barrier must have seen something like this and wondered wtf was going on...
It finally worked and the window started moving, releasing me to drive home pondering why I drive these stty old cars instead of a nice new lease vehicle.
Now that I’m home with a nice cup of coffee (instant this time) the above story reminds me of exactly why I drive these - got in car drove home, nothing happened is a much less entertaining way to live.
Note - Not much spannering going on - I’m on holiday from next week so I intend to do some actual mechanical/spanner updates soon...
This morning as I sipped at my filter coffee, that comes on every day via a time switch, I marvelled as the PHEV came on via a similar timer and defrosted the iced over windscreen without anyone lifting a finger.
Unfortunately, I was taking the Alfa to work today so I interrupted my reverie and pulled on a glove with all the joy of the apprentice vet that has just found out he’s got the business end of the cow to examine and stepped out to scrape the screen
Some of the drudge of scraping the window was taken away by the fact I found a rather good ice scraper in the donor Alfa - for those interested, a genuine Alfa ice scraper is one of the more extravagant options when speccing a new Giulia (an eye popping £44).
I realised as I drove to work just how much of a fanny I have become, my hands were cold, the seats were cold to their leathery core and I probably lost about four degrees in body heat through my thighs on the commute, despite the heater blowing hot air.
Plus, over 25 miles it never occurred to the washer jets that thawing out would be at all helpful to me.
Similar high jinks occurred on the way home, the windscreen was relatively clear but instinctively I pulled the washer jets to see if a black bonnet and winter sun had defrosted them before setting off.
It had and yes, we’ve all done it but the second it hit the screen, the b
d screenwash froze solid and plunged me into the world of a cataracts sufferer.So for the second time today the scraper had to come out before I could set off home, whimpering at how cold my arse was but alas in Alfaville there was one more ignomy to come...
To leave the office, it is necessary to swipe your card to raise the barrier, naturally I pulled alongside the sensor but pressing down on the window switch did nothing except make a small KRCK! noise that told me my window was frozen shut. Repeated pressing of the switch didn’t do anything and as I was alongside the wall/pass I couldn’t open the door either, cars were behind me waiting to leave so reverse was also off the table.
The only available recourse was to start banging on the window from the inside in some kind frenzy - not unlike a passenger being driven into a lake in some crappy b movie.
The poor taxi driver waiting to come in the other barrier must have seen something like this and wondered wtf was going on...
It finally worked and the window started moving, releasing me to drive home pondering why I drive these s
tty old cars instead of a nice new lease vehicle.Now that I’m home with a nice cup of coffee (instant this time) the above story reminds me of exactly why I drive these - got in car drove home, nothing happened is a much less entertaining way to live.
Note - Not much spannering going on - I’m on holiday from next week so I intend to do some actual mechanical/spanner updates soon...
The thing I remember about Alfas in the winter was the handbrake freezing on. My wife once came to pick me up from the pub in her 145 and turned into the car park with the rear disk glowing red hot. Impressed that she’d been indulging in some left foot braking on the way over, I was not unduly surprised that she hadn’t a clue what I was on about, but did comment the handbrake lever felt all floppy....
Some people’s lack of mechanical sympathy astounds me (says a man that almost ran a car out of oil) but I remember many winters ago in 2008 a lass coming into work and moaning her brakes were going funny in the snow.
“We’re they juddering when you braked on the snow? That will be your ABS...”
On the subject of brakes, my pedal seemed long and a sniff around the pads has revealed one of the rear pads is a bit low - A good few mm yet so not metal on metal but would explain the pedal getting closer to the floor under braking.
A new set of rear pads won’t break the bank and will give me an excuse for spannering.
“We’re they juddering when you braked on the snow? That will be your ABS...”
On the subject of brakes, my pedal seemed long and a sniff around the pads has revealed one of the rear pads is a bit low - A good few mm yet so not metal on metal but would explain the pedal getting closer to the floor under braking.
A new set of rear pads won’t break the bank and will give me an excuse for spannering.
stewjohnst said:
Technology is a wonderful thing but it makes us weak.
So for the second time today the scraper had to come out before I could set off home, whimpering at how cold my arse was but alas in Alfaville there was one more ignomy to come...
To leave the office, it is necessary to swipe your card to raise the barrier, naturally I pulled alongside the sensor but pressing down on the window switch did nothing except make a small KRCK! noise that told me my window was frozen shut. Repeated pressing of the switch didn’t do anything and as I was alongside the wall/pass I couldn’t open the door either, cars were behind me waiting to leave so reverse was also off the table.
The only available recourse was to start banging on the window from the inside in some kind frenzy - not unlike a passenger being driven into a lake in some crappy b movie.
The poor taxi driver waiting to come in the other barrier must have seen something like this and wondered wtf was going on...
It finally worked and the window started moving, releasing me to drive home pondering why I drive these stty old cars instead of a nice new lease vehicle.
Now that I’m home with a nice cup of coffee (instant this time) the above story reminds me of exactly why I drive these - got in car drove home, nothing happened is a much less entertaining way to live.
Note - Not much spannering going on - I’m on holiday from next week so I intend to do some actual mechanical/spanner updates soon...
This post just made me cry with laughter. Good work. So for the second time today the scraper had to come out before I could set off home, whimpering at how cold my arse was but alas in Alfaville there was one more ignomy to come...
To leave the office, it is necessary to swipe your card to raise the barrier, naturally I pulled alongside the sensor but pressing down on the window switch did nothing except make a small KRCK! noise that told me my window was frozen shut. Repeated pressing of the switch didn’t do anything and as I was alongside the wall/pass I couldn’t open the door either, cars were behind me waiting to leave so reverse was also off the table.
The only available recourse was to start banging on the window from the inside in some kind frenzy - not unlike a passenger being driven into a lake in some crappy b movie.
The poor taxi driver waiting to come in the other barrier must have seen something like this and wondered wtf was going on...
It finally worked and the window started moving, releasing me to drive home pondering why I drive these s
tty old cars instead of a nice new lease vehicle.Now that I’m home with a nice cup of coffee (instant this time) the above story reminds me of exactly why I drive these - got in car drove home, nothing happened is a much less entertaining way to live.
Note - Not much spannering going on - I’m on holiday from next week so I intend to do some actual mechanical/spanner updates soon...
Nothing major to report I’m afraid,
The first of my mythical ‘two days to yourself without the kids’ over xmas was kiboshed when the youngest decided to be ill and puke up three days on the bounce before Santa came...
...the second day to myself was ruined because my wife apparently doesn’t know how calendars work and got her date for the hairdressers wrong...so I had the kids whil she was off getting her roots done (apparently this is more important than me having a fully functioning vehicle).
There was an outside chance of me swapping the ecus on New Years Day, up until I scalded the st out of my hand opening the oven door on New Year’s Eve and ended up coming out of A&E like this
I did manage one minor task which was to replace the candles in jam jars with some Osram Night breakers so I at least see where I’m going nowadays.
On poking around the car a bit more, I have to admit it isn’t really that good an example and with free time against me I’m not going to bother transplanting too much across.
Alas, the donor is equally ropey in exactly the opposite places so I’ll just break that in summer.
As it stands the beast has only to last until July so I’m going to be a very bad Alfista and ignore the timing belt not being done until it pops or I retire it in July as I don’t do any journey of major consequence in it and AA membership and brave pills are considerably cheaper than the belts...
The wife has accepted we do need a third car for tip/dog use when the company 4x4 goes so I’ll probably chop it for an estate car in July if it is still alive.
I’ll still try to find time to tinker as it is a good little egg. It always wants to please when you drive it, even if it is handicapped by the revs.
The first of my mythical ‘two days to yourself without the kids’ over xmas was kiboshed when the youngest decided to be ill and puke up three days on the bounce before Santa came...
...the second day to myself was ruined because my wife apparently doesn’t know how calendars work and got her date for the hairdressers wrong...so I had the kids whil she was off getting her roots done (apparently this is more important than me having a fully functioning vehicle).
There was an outside chance of me swapping the ecus on New Years Day, up until I scalded the s
t out of my hand opening the oven door on New Year’s Eve and ended up coming out of A&E like this I did manage one minor task which was to replace the candles in jam jars with some Osram Night breakers so I at least see where I’m going nowadays.
On poking around the car a bit more, I have to admit it isn’t really that good an example and with free time against me I’m not going to bother transplanting too much across.
Alas, the donor is equally ropey in exactly the opposite places so I’ll just break that in summer.
As it stands the beast has only to last until July so I’m going to be a very bad Alfista and ignore the timing belt not being done until it pops or I retire it in July as I don’t do any journey of major consequence in it and AA membership and brave pills are considerably cheaper than the belts...
The wife has accepted we do need a third car for tip/dog use when the company 4x4 goes so I’ll probably chop it for an estate car in July if it is still alive.
I’ll still try to find time to tinker as it is a good little egg. It always wants to please when you drive it, even if it is handicapped by the revs.
Still not had any time on the car but I thought the snow up north today would give me a nice little rally stage run home down the back lanes.
I fired up the little monkey, turned off the asr and as I was one of the last to leave the office and I’m an imbecile/child I *may* have navigated the turns out of the car park using the handbrake to improve the woeful turning circle of the Alfa.
Clearly, the old girl considered this behaviour to be some kind of affront and shortly after it turned the asr back on and no amount of pressing or holding the button would force it to go off again
Fortunately, the asr has a very laissez-faire approach to intervention so fun was still had on the way home.
Befitting of an Alfa, on the way home various other switches like the air con decided to stop responding too so I found myself driving and idly pawing at the dashboard every now and again to see if anything had come back to life, a bit like a pilot falling from 30,000 feet with nothing better to do than grimly keep trying the cabin switchgear as the altitude plummets.
Previous experience suggests the Alfa has a short memory so no doubt everything will be all systems go again tomorrow.
I fired up the little monkey, turned off the asr and as I was one of the last to leave the office and I’m an imbecile/child I *may* have navigated the turns out of the car park using the handbrake to improve the woeful turning circle of the Alfa.
Clearly, the old girl considered this behaviour to be some kind of affront and shortly after it turned the asr back on and no amount of pressing or holding the button would force it to go off again
Fortunately, the asr has a very laissez-faire approach to intervention so fun was still had on the way home.
Befitting of an Alfa, on the way home various other switches like the air con decided to stop responding too so I found myself driving and idly pawing at the dashboard every now and again to see if anything had come back to life, a bit like a pilot falling from 30,000 feet with nothing better to do than grimly keep trying the cabin switchgear as the altitude plummets.
Previous experience suggests the Alfa has a short memory so no doubt everything will be all systems go again tomorrow.
Edited by stewjohnst on Wednesday 17th January 02:11
I was hoping this would come back, interested to see what happens.
My Alfa, 159 Sportwagon 1.9JTDm, is currently disgracing itself. Water pump seized before Christmas taking out the cam-belt, that cost £1,000.76 to put right, needed 2rear tyres, needs 4 wheel alignment and now the drivers door handle is broken and the door won't lock.
Still needs front brakes and drop links that were advisories on the last MOT.
At least I got a code reader promoted by this thread, bought to sort out glow-plugs which have been replaced as part of the cam-belt repair.
My Alfa, 159 Sportwagon 1.9JTDm, is currently disgracing itself. Water pump seized before Christmas taking out the cam-belt, that cost £1,000.76 to put right, needed 2rear tyres, needs 4 wheel alignment and now the drivers door handle is broken and the door won't lock.
Still needs front brakes and drop links that were advisories on the last MOT.
At least I got a code reader promoted by this thread, bought to sort out glow-plugs which have been replaced as part of the cam-belt repair.
A combination of having a week off work for my 40th and a week of using the PHEV has meant the poor little Alfa hadn’t moved for a fortnight.
I jumped in yesterday morning and she started after a couple of turns.
Knowing that the car doesn’t really understand Bluetooth or any of that nonsense, the wife bought me a CD of Noel Gallaghers new album for my commute.
I set off at the usual time for work, it was one of those crisp clear mornings where it isn’t icy but it’s cold and dry and sunny.
I don’t know if it was the combination of the weather, listening to a Gallagher taking me back to my youth (in a 1.1 Fiesta Popular) or the direct go-karty steering response of the Alfa after two weeks of the oil tanker PHEV something made me do that thing that makes me know I’m still a ph’er...
Driving to the motorway roundabout for a 25 minute cruise up the A1, at the critical point, I just thought ‘fk it’ and took the first left instead of the motorway and went the long way round to work - I arrived 20 minutes later than planned and having done about 20 miles more than was necessary but I was grinning ear to ear and just about managed to resist patting the bonnet as I opened the door to the smell of slightly smouldering brakes in the works car park.
I still have only 4.5k revs to play with but every single one of them is a blast, when pressing on, it reminds me of my Barchetta - chuck it into a corner way too fast, over do the lock and lift off and then foot down early and drag it out of the corner. It might be an old st heap but it is incredible fun.
So apart from still being fun, how is the patient?
Well, it is a bit like a cheerful grandad that knows he won’t ever play footie again or even make it to Christmas but just keeps going for the sake of the grandkids (or the driver in this case),
The kangaroo bouncing on lift off throttle is back, so I’m addressing that by a permanent light application of heel/toe on lift off/braking.
The number of clunks from the suspension has increased and every 100 metres it sounds like someone’s knocked over a set of Jenga in the back, so I’m just ignoring that.
The number plate light is on the Fritz again but the headlight bulbs I bought are amazing - I can actually see at night now - but only on 3/4 of the screen as only 3 of the 4 washer nozzles are working as I type...
I’m also gradually understanding the crazed logic that Alfa programmed into the climate controls...
Below 3 degrees? Ok when you get in we’ll automatically put the heated rear screen on for you!
Cold outside? We’ll automatically recirculate the air for you!
Windscreen fogging up because it’s cold outside and we’ve turned recirculating on for you?
Just press windscreen demist and we’ll demist it - oh and we’ll also turn the rear window heater on at the same time for no apparent reason.
Finished pressing buttons? Good, when you try to stop the window demist we’ll tell the system to forget all your previous settings?!?
TLDR, I’m still in love with the old st heap, which may be problematic as I am possibly drawing my 12 months of bangering to a close as I’m testing a BMW M140i tomorrow, having ordered the missus a Mini Countryman PHEV to replace the Outlander.
Charm offensive is ongoing to explain the need for a tip/dog car and how the Alfa is the answer (until it dies)
I jumped in yesterday morning and she started after a couple of turns.
Knowing that the car doesn’t really understand Bluetooth or any of that nonsense, the wife bought me a CD of Noel Gallaghers new album for my commute.
I set off at the usual time for work, it was one of those crisp clear mornings where it isn’t icy but it’s cold and dry and sunny.
I don’t know if it was the combination of the weather, listening to a Gallagher taking me back to my youth (in a 1.1 Fiesta Popular) or the direct go-karty steering response of the Alfa after two weeks of the oil tanker PHEV something made me do that thing that makes me know I’m still a ph’er...
Driving to the motorway roundabout for a 25 minute cruise up the A1, at the critical point, I just thought ‘f
k it’ and took the first left instead of the motorway and went the long way round to work - I arrived 20 minutes later than planned and having done about 20 miles more than was necessary but I was grinning ear to ear and just about managed to resist patting the bonnet as I opened the door to the smell of slightly smouldering brakes in the works car park. I still have only 4.5k revs to play with but every single one of them is a blast, when pressing on, it reminds me of my Barchetta - chuck it into a corner way too fast, over do the lock and lift off and then foot down early and drag it out of the corner. It might be an old s
t heap but it is incredible fun.So apart from still being fun, how is the patient?
Well, it is a bit like a cheerful grandad that knows he won’t ever play footie again or even make it to Christmas but just keeps going for the sake of the grandkids (or the driver in this case),
The kangaroo bouncing on lift off throttle is back, so I’m addressing that by a permanent light application of heel/toe on lift off/braking.
The number of clunks from the suspension has increased and every 100 metres it sounds like someone’s knocked over a set of Jenga in the back, so I’m just ignoring that.
The number plate light is on the Fritz again but the headlight bulbs I bought are amazing - I can actually see at night now - but only on 3/4 of the screen as only 3 of the 4 washer nozzles are working as I type...
I’m also gradually understanding the crazed logic that Alfa programmed into the climate controls...
Below 3 degrees? Ok when you get in we’ll automatically put the heated rear screen on for you!
Cold outside? We’ll automatically recirculate the air for you!
Windscreen fogging up because it’s cold outside and we’ve turned recirculating on for you?
Just press windscreen demist and we’ll demist it - oh and we’ll also turn the rear window heater on at the same time for no apparent reason.
Finished pressing buttons? Good, when you try to stop the window demist we’ll tell the system to forget all your previous settings?!?
TLDR, I’m still in love with the old s
t heap, which may be problematic as I am possibly drawing my 12 months of bangering to a close as I’m testing a BMW M140i tomorrow, having ordered the missus a Mini Countryman PHEV to replace the Outlander.Charm offensive is ongoing to explain the need for a tip/dog car and how the Alfa is the answer
(until it dies)stewjohnst said:
Driving to the motorway roundabout for a 25 minute cruise up the A1, at the critical point, I just thought ‘fk it’ and took the first left instead of the motorway and went the long way round to work - I arrived 20 minutes later than planned and having done about 20 miles more than was necessary but I was grinning ear to ear and just about managed to resist patting the bonnet as I opened the door to the smell of slightly smouldering brakes in the works car park.
I still have only 4.5k revs to play with but every single one of them is a blast, when pressing on, it reminds me of my Barchetta - chuck it into a corner way too fast, over do the lock and lift off and then foot down early and drag it out of the corner. It might be an old st heap but it is incredible fun.
My 147 does the same, the comute to work kinda sucks (as it would in any car), and is dull. But then i get some clean twisties in front of me, and despite the 1.6 being slow by most standards (especially on PH), it just puts a grin on my face, it revs well (sorry mate k it’ and took the first left instead of the motorway and went the long way round to work - I arrived 20 minutes later than planned and having done about 20 miles more than was necessary but I was grinning ear to ear and just about managed to resist patting the bonnet as I opened the door to the smell of slightly smouldering brakes in the works car park. I still have only 4.5k revs to play with but every single one of them is a blast, when pressing on, it reminds me of my Barchetta - chuck it into a corner way too fast, over do the lock and lift off and then foot down early and drag it out of the corner. It might be an old s
t heap but it is incredible fun.
), handles well and is just an all out riot, despite being a simple 1.6 hatchback.stewjohnst said:
I’m also gradually understanding the crazed logic that Alfa programmed into the climate controls...
Below 3 degrees? Ok when you get in we’ll automatically put the heated rear screen on for you!
Cold outside? We’ll automatically recirculate the air for you!
Windscreen fogging up because it’s cold outside and we’ve turned recirculating on for you?
Just press windscreen demist and we’ll demist it - oh and we’ll also turn the rear window heater on at the same time for no apparent reason.
Finished pressing buttons? Good, when you try to stop the window demist we’ll tell the system to forget all your previous settings?!?
Have you figured out why it at some point decides to switch the air to windscreen+feet? Mine does that, or in occasion it will switch to feet only, fogging up the windscreen... I do kinda like the auto rear demist below 3 degrees, even if i turn it off immediately half the time, it's a thoughtful thing to do for the car..Below 3 degrees? Ok when you get in we’ll automatically put the heated rear screen on for you!
Cold outside? We’ll automatically recirculate the air for you!
Windscreen fogging up because it’s cold outside and we’ve turned recirculating on for you?
Just press windscreen demist and we’ll demist it - oh and we’ll also turn the rear window heater on at the same time for no apparent reason.
Finished pressing buttons? Good, when you try to stop the window demist we’ll tell the system to forget all your previous settings?!?
And one more small anecdote, i had my car in for the MOT last month, and it failed on the rear shocks, the spring cups had rust in them, and while they hadnt failed, they obviously would in the future, producing the same "stance" you bought yours with, and it all reminded me of this thread.
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