RE: Nissan Juke-R 2.0: Driven

RE: Nissan Juke-R 2.0: Driven

Friday 31st July 2015

Nissan Juke-R 2.0: Driven

The maddest of the mad Jukes returns with a vengeance (and 600hp)



How on earth can the Nissan Juke-R 2.0 be approached with any semblance of objectivity? Look at the thing! Seemingly 485hp wasn't enough for a B-segment crossover so it's now sporting 600hp, a few styling tweaks and an even more pugnacious attitude. It's a completely obscene, absurd and fantastically exciting car all at the same time. If you're not even a bit intrigued then this probably isn't the website for you.

Nice way to kick off...
Nice way to kick off...
Very seldom is a GT-R NISMO the prelude to a more significant drive, but such is the case at Silverstone. How better to get your eye in? The R35 NISMO is truly devastating actually, with the ability to make the Stowe circuit feel like autocross. Stability, acceleration and grip are on another plane even compared with the frenzied standard car, making it just savage on a track. It feels on a relentless mission to simply consume asphalt but there's subtlety too; the brakes have great feel and progression and it's often forgotten just how sorted GT-R electric steering is.

A good appetiser for the Juke R two point zero then. 'Clamber' is a often a daft verb used to describe very easy car entry, but the Juke really is a challenge. Over the cage - mind your head - down into the seat but off the harnesses and watch your knee on the GT-R dash; now if I could just move the seat... Oh. That's as far as it goes. Which is about six inches not far enough. Knees around ears it is then!

Show me your 600hp face!
Show me your 600hp face!
Best - or worst - of both?
The Juke's interior is in fact a great pointer as to the driving experience; part GT-R, part Juke, part racing car. Just with an appalling driving position. Moving out of the pits it feels like a 600hp fist punch - much how it looks then - with the GT-R graunches and whines amplified by the expanse of space behind the seats. It squeaks and rattles a bit too, a reminder of the huge engineering work that must have gone in. They are not unnerving, instead rather endearing, like the GT-R underneath is itching to be set free from this outrageous costume.

It certainly feels like a GT-R down the main straight. Holy hell is it fast. Terrifically, insatiably, addictively fast. Both the Juke and the NISMO are on the brink of fifth gear, so about 120mph or so, at the fastest point of the circuit and they feel pretty evenly matched. Which is a fairly ludicrous thing to write. I'd wager the NISMO is slightly more accelerative but it makes something like a C63 AMG feel a bit undernourished. There's still some lag too, making that onslaught of boost all the more thrilling.

Obviously the Juke feels less like a GT-R through corners, but it's capable of incredible things. Despite the bucket and harnesses you feel perched high and certainly the weight doesn't feel as low. Where the NISMO scythes through the first chicane the Juke feels more precarious, up on its toes and teetering on the edge. Not dangerous, but certainly without the devastating corner speed. To be expected really.

You've noticed the MY15 Juke updates, right?
You've noticed the MY15 Juke updates, right?
Same but different
With Bridgestone Potenzas rather than the NISMO's Dunlop Sport Maxx GTs the Juke doesn't quite have the fierce turn-in of that car but things become a lot more familiar from the apex onwards. It seems to take chomps out of the tarmac, devouring the circuit and throwing the exit at you way sooner than expected. The black 600hp car feels more prone to understeer than the 600hp white one, but the way it exits corners remains extraordinary.

Where the Juke in fact feels most different is under brakes. The NISMO is phenomenal, increasing composure over the standard R35 for absolute confidence. The Juke is, well, edgier, but rather exciting because of it. With R-Mode selected on all three buttons - no turning things off understandably - and just holding the brakes into a bend the little Juke dives in for an apex and the rear begins its own, slightly wider arc... just as it feels about time to nail the throttle towards the exit the stability control kicks in. But it's a wonderful feeling up to that point. Agile and flighty while not entirely terrifying, it's really unlike anything else.

As uncomfortable as it looks
As uncomfortable as it looks
After a quarter of an hour or so in the car we're all done. It's customary in a drive like this to say it was done in a flash but such is the vividness, intensity and sheer exhilaration of a Juke R that it felt much longer. That and the sweat-drenched shirt. Clearly there were bigger engineering priorities than the air-con...

For Nissan the Juke R is meant to draw focus and people to the the standard Juke; it can be both a 1.5 DCi and a 600hp V6 freak. A bit like the way Mila Kunis can be both Meg Griffin and the Black Swan, right? Both ends of the scale... Perhaps the bigger issue is whether Nissan actually need any help at all shifting Jukes but that's not really for here. Instead we need to celebrate its existence and applaud Nissan for pursuing a project that's completely daft but utterly absorbing and brilliant at the same time. It seems like a spiritual successor to the bonkers Micra 350SR of the early 2000s, and that's meant as compliment. The world didn't need either the Micra or this Juke, but it's a much more enjoyable and interesting place thanks to both of them.


NISSAN JUKE-R 2.0
Engine:
3,799cc V6, twin-turbo
Power (hp): 600@6,400rpm
Torque (lb ft): 481@N/Arpm
0-62mph: 3.7 sec (original Juke-R)
Top speed: 160mph (original Juke-R)
Weight: 1,806kg
MPG: Probably not many
CO2: Probably very many
Price: Maybe if you give RML enough. And a GT-R

Quick video here. Skip to 2:35 if you don't wish to look at a ridiculous gurning face.







   
Author
Discussion

smileymikey

Original Poster:

1,270 posts

157 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
The worlds a better place for delightfully bonkers cars smile

mattlad

255 posts

96 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
That's just the type of thing that appeals to my warped sense of humour!

Twin2

240 posts

53 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
I remember chatting to the guy in Nissan about the old one (Mum was thinking about a Qashqai).

He said they had it there for a week and a guy wanted to buy one and was genuinely serious about it.

So they called the head office who reckoned he could have one for £250k...

It's utterly bonkers, I love it, however...

http://www.severnvalleymotorsport.co.uk/about-us/n...

Gandahar

5,534 posts

59 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
On the road a new Micra 350SR would be more fun and relevant.

Completely pointless car.

This is like one of those joints that makes a 4lb hamburger because it gets the crowds in. Once you start eating it however...

xRIEx

8,180 posts

79 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Twin2 said:
I remember chatting to the guy in Nissan about the old one (Mum was thinking about a Qashqai).

He said they had it there for a week and a guy wanted to buy one and was genuinely serious about it.

So they called the head office who reckoned he could have one for £250k...

It's utterly bonkers, I love it, however...

http://www.severnvalleymotorsport.co.uk/about-us/n...
ISTR there was a discussion over the legality of that conversion, as it should have been IVA'd and wasn't.

"The Idea is to keep the entire floorpan of the R35 and amalgamating the body of the Qashqai +2 onto it."

From http://www.gtr.co.uk/forum/175782-svm-release-proj...

It's two cars welded together.

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=140...
Advertisement

Rick1.8t

467 posts

110 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all


Gandahar said:
On the road a new Micra 350SR would be more fun and relevant.

Completely pointless car.

This is like one of those joints that makes a 4lb hamburger because it gets the crowds in. Once you start eating it however...
See the fun in something out of the ordinary, its not for everybody and its not meant to be, are you just upset because you couldnt finish your burger?

thespannerman

209 posts

54 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Twin2 said:
You beat me to it... THIS^

dc2rr07

918 posts

162 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Gandahar said:
On the road a new Micra 350SR would be more fun and relevant.

Completely pointless car.

This is like one of those joints that makes a 4lb hamburger because it gets the crowds in. Once you start eating it however...
Pointless well that's the idea, but it does let the engineers have free reign and I am sure Nissan will get the rewards back from satisfied engineers.

Its nice to see a company letting loose once in a while.

C7 JFW

903 posts

150 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
What an absolutely flippin' brilliant idea!! This thing must just create smiles constantly, all day long.

Now, off to plot the turbo conversion on my V6 Golf!

CS400

145 posts

42 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Well done Nissan for allowing something to be done that is outside the box clap
Awesome car and I want one bowwobble

exceed

434 posts

107 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Would they just make the damn thing (and bring back the creature comforts)!

budfox

1,510 posts

60 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Awful. Makes the PT Cruiser look modern stylish and relevant.

Twin2

240 posts

53 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
xRIEx said:
ISTR there was a discussion over the legality of that conversion, as it should have been IVA'd and wasn't.

"The Idea is to keep the entire floorpan of the R35 and amalgamating the body of the Qashqai +2 onto it."

From http://www.gtr.co.uk/forum/175782-svm-release-proj...

It's two cars welded together.

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=140...
Ahhh, didn't know that... Still a cool car

xRIEx

8,180 posts

79 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Twin2 said:
xRIEx said:
ISTR there was a discussion over the legality of that conversion, as it should have been IVA'd and wasn't.

"The Idea is to keep the entire floorpan of the R35 and amalgamating the body of the Qashqai +2 onto it."

From http://www.gtr.co.uk/forum/175782-svm-release-proj...

It's two cars welded together.

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=140...
Ahhh, didn't know that... Still a cool car
I haven't read the whole of the gtr.co.uk thread, so it might have been sorted. Aye, 1000+hp is almost always going to be a lot of fun.

burningdinos

122 posts

52 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
budfox said:
Awful. Makes the PT Cruiser look modern stylish and relevant.
Still looks like a Juke. Hardly a thing of beauty then, but forgivable given what's underneath
Now if Chrysler had made a PT Cruiser with a Viper drivetrain shoehorned in it back in the day... that would've been awesome. bounce

Edited by burningdinos on Thursday 30th July 13:48

SuperchargedVR6

3,118 posts

151 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Love the engineering behind it but no love for the Juke at all.

C7 JFW said:
What an absolutely flippin' brilliant idea!! This thing must just create smiles constantly, all day long.

Now, off to plot the turbo conversion on my V6 Golf!
Been there, done that. Do it!

TaylotS2K

1,118 posts

138 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Big improvement in the looks department.

Olivera

2,949 posts

170 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
dc2rr07 said:
Pointless well that's the idea, but it does let the engineers have free reign and I am sure Nissan will get the rewards back from satisfied engineers.

Its nice to see a company letting loose once in a while.
That would be the case if Nissan built any of it, but the entire Juke is built/converted by touring car team RML.

JMF894

2,507 posts

86 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
I love it

Criticising it for it's looks just tells me you're missing the point totally and on the wrong website tbh

Like turning down Charlize Theron because you don't like the colour of her dress............


Bladedancer

898 posts

127 months

Thursday 30th July 2015
quotequote all
Bonkers - yes.
Otherwise a complete waste of a perfectly good GTR engine in a horrid, ulgy quasi-suv aptly nicknamed Joke.
You want to do something sensible? Stick it into Infiniti M and make a RS/M/AMG competitor.