Shed of the Week: Volkswagen Passat V6

Low mileage and a solid V6 make for some proper bargain barging - if you can get to it before Shed does!

A few years ago, Shed bought a Passat Estate sight unseen from an eBayer in Cumbria. Same colour as today's Shed of the Week, but a B5.5 1.9 diesel rather than the somewhat rarer B5 2.8 petrol V6 Syncro winter special that we have here.

After an incredibly convoluted train journey, Shed eventually arrived at the sort of deserted one-platform station you see in 1960s art-house films directed by angry young men. In a light but penetrating drizzle, Shed trudged to the seller's establishment. This turned out to be a 'non-specialist garage', as dodgy old-school motor traders are sometimes called.

The Passat looked OK from a distance, as does Mrs Shed when you're looking through the wrong end of a dirty telescope. The nearer he got to it, the more uneasy Shed felt, and that was also the case for the Passat. It seemed a lot more tired in the flesh than it had looked in the eBay ad. The windows were very steamed up, which is definitely not something that ever happens when you're sitting in a car with Mrs Shed.

Pausing only to execute a battery swap - a groin-busting operation not recommended for anyone trying to avoid an operation - Shed set off for home, with the garage shutting very early as he was leaving. Apart from the pervasive smell of damp, all seemed well-ish, but over the next few days a series of strange electrical events began to unfold. When you wanted one thing to happen, something quite different would occur. So you'd go for main beam and the sunroof would open. Pressing the horn would bring a lovely warm glow to your backside as the heated seats kicked in. Attempting to indicate would set off all four winkers at once.

Turned out the drain holes in the battery tray had blocked up, as they do in all Passats apparently, re-routing who knows how many gallons of Cumbrian rain into the passenger side carpet, front and rear. That needn't have been a major issue in itself. After a scant two weeks of drying out using a combination of expensively-hired dehumidifier and two sacks of granulated horse bedding, it was possible to do quite long trips in the Passat without any mushrooms growing on your trousers.

The big problem was the fact that VW, in its infinite wisdom, had located an important 'comfort' ECU under the passenger side carpet. Wiring that had left the factory in strict Germanic order had turned into a more artistic, Italianate almost, vermicelli mush. The ECU was receiving instructions from the driver but then passing them on in a frustratingly random fashion to whichever wire seemed most up to the job at the time.

Shed came out of that experience a wiser, more cynical and fortunately richer man after he managed to offload the Passat onto a delighted vicar who clearly loved the masking whiff of concentrated Febreze. A nice bit of karmic revenge there for Shed's miserable Catholic upbringing and short-lived career as a choirboy.

This Passat looks like a lot more solid bet. The miles are remarkably low for a start. The MOT record confirms that this car rarely did more than 3000 miles a year in any of the last ten years. The MOT history also reveals it's had a fair bit of work carried out on the front suspension, which does take a beating in these 2.8s. Syncro suspension is fully independent front and rear. The 4x4 system is Torsen and the petrol drinking heavy. LPG conversion might be worth a few minutes' research.

Considering the mileage, the half-leather upholstery looks oddly baggy, and who knows what sort of mutant insect headbutted the front end above the numberplate. At least that dent in the offside rear door looks soft enough to pull out.

Mrs Shed never liked the soggy Passat, not so much for its sogginess but for the fact that she found it to be a clumsy town drive. "It's too big," she moaned, for the first and almost certainly last time in their long and terrible relationship.

Still, despite his bad experience, Shed would have another Passat Estate, maybe even a Syncro like this 'un. So if you're selling one and the chap who comes to look at it heads straight for the carpets, mind your manners: it might be Shed.

Here's the ad.

Blue, Here we have for sale a VW Passat 2.8 V6 which has covered only 78,000 miles and comes with a full service record. New MOT will be provided on sale., 3 owners, Electronic Air-Conditioning, Climate Control, Electric Windows (Front), 'Gamma' Radio Cassette with Rear Speakers, Air Bag Driver, Air Bag Passenger, Central Door Locking, Power-Assisted Steering. 5 seats, HPI CHECKED, VOSA HISTORY CHECKED. PLEASE CALL FOR MORE DETAILS OR TO BOOK YOURSELF A TEST DRIVE TODAY. ON SITE CUSTOMER PARKING. WE ARE OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK. OUR SITE POSTCODE IS SN3 3JW. ONLY A 5 MINUTE DRIVE FROM THE M4 MOTORWAY JUNCTION 15, Experian auto check clear, £1,495 p/x considered
2.8 V6 Syncro 4dr

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tezzer

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