Many thoughts entered my head the other night during the 13-mile round-trip to collect the Chinese takeaway in a
new Fiesta ST
. This was, after all, my first time in the car.
If you drive cars for a living, which I suppose I do, you quickly drop into the habit of running through the same process of evaluation, but this time I wanted to try something different. I wanted to imagine that it was 1989.
Bear with me on this one.
What would this man think of the Fiesta ST?
I think 1989 might be remembered as the perfectum annum in hot hatch history. With enthusiasts able to buy the very best machines, I was wondering what someone plucked from the seat of, say,
a 205 GTI 1.9
would make of a machine built 24 years into the future and trying to deliver a similar driving experience.
I think he'd (or she'd) just love the cabin. The quality, the sense of solidity and the cheeky touches. He wouldn't know that this was just a standard Fiesta cabin, so that wouldn't matter. He'd think the seats were the best he'd ever sat in. From the outside he'd think it was very subtle. Probably too subtle. And he'd want to know why the radiator grille constituted half the frontal area of the car.
The initial refinement - the lack of noise from the engine bay - would come as quite a shock. As would the torque. Driven at 4/10ths this car would seem crazy fast because the torque is so strong low down. He probably wouldn't even spot that it was turbocharged either - there's only a light flutter from the wastegate if it needs to dump un-used boost. And to be honest he wouldn't be concentrating on the powertrain because the steering would be too much of a distraction.
I suspect he would find it quite baffling.
Hot hatches have grown up loads since the 80s
At parking speeds its lightness would have impressed him but as the car travelled faster I think he'd be perplexed as to why the steering didn't have more weight and a greater sense of connection to the road. But here's the rub, after 10 miles, I think he'd quickly begin to warm to the steering in a way that many modern commentators
doggedly assume
It's quick, Eric Bristow accurate and the more you relax your grip on the wheel, the more you can decipher some quiet information being fed back to the driver. But I still think the sheer lightness would register as unnecessary, as would the thickness of the steering wheel: 1989 man would rightly assume the human race had mutated into some kind of primate.
Would he find the car fun? To begin with, no. Fast, yes; but nut the snappy fun he'd associate with this type of car. The controls would remind him of those of a much bigger car: the pedals and gearshift would all feel very grown-up. Of course he'd still be struggling to understand the badging because this so-called Fiesta is in fact bigger than what they call a Golf, but the ST just doesn't have that zippy sense of weightlessness because it's too big and heavy. It doesn't make much noise either, and it is so damn good at dealing with corners riddled with bumps that 1989 man would possibly confuse competence with smile-making. He would also be a little bit awed at how much grip a modern street tyre can generate and how subtle the ABS was and how, if he went too fast into a turn, the car would somehow trim its own line. He'd think that was black magic.
Much would amaze, some of it would disappoint
I think after the initial shock at the zero-effort performance 1989 man would be slightly disappointed by what happens when you use all the revs. Yes, he'd think it was mighty fast, but he'd find the effort/reward ratio a little unnatural compared with what he was used to. Still, the sheer smoothness of the engine and the realisation that a turbochager could be tricked into operating with so little lag would leave him speechless with admiration.
Relative to inflation he'd think the car was quite good value and, once all the emission regulations had been explained, he'd be staggered that you could make such an engine so environmentally friendly. If he could see the results of a 40mph offset crash test in this Fiesta compared to his 205, he'd probably need to sit down for a while. He'd think the Fiesta ST was the best hot-hatch he'd ever driven by some distance, but he'd definitely note that the connection between the driver and the machine was less physical; that technical excellence had come at the expense of simple fun.
But most of all he'd be thrilled that 24 years into the future he could still buy a relatively small car with loads of performance, a petrol motor and a manual gearbox - one that won't kill you if you hit a sparrow at 7mph.
Because the motoring media of 1989 had told him he'd be driving something similar to an electric golf buggy in the year 2013. And that certainly isn't the case.