Friday 11th December 2015

Mini JCW: PH Fleet

Final chance for the JCW to unlock the promised 'Maximum Go Kart Fun'

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The hot hatch is 40 years old this year; I know this because I've just watched the PH/Autocar video asking for people to vote for the best hot hatch ever. Besides making me feel ancient, this milestone is definitely cause for celebration. After all, it's a genre evolved to the point that ultimate examples of the current breed can lap the Nordschleife as fast as a 996 GT3. A shopping trolley fitted with a tuned engine, some sticky tyres and trick suspension now has the pace of a revered sports car from the previous decade. That is pretty mind-blowing progress.

No looker, but it's still a decent hot hatch

The video references the Golf GTI as the original hot hatch, and rightly so, but look deeper into the history books and surely it's the Mini Cooper that really paved the way for the genre? Hatch or no hatch, a decade before the Alfasud and Autobianchi A112 Abarth 100 Ti hit the market, it laid the foundations and provided the inspiration.

So what of the current Mini JCW? As Dan points out in the video, it's the B-segment that arguably provides the sweet spot, where price and performance are closest to being in perfect harmony. Here, below £25,000, the real hot hatch heroes duke it out. And the JCW just about scrapes into that price range, as long as you're either shrewd, or frugal, with the options.

Nobody can accuse it of being under-gunned in the engine department, either. Yes, the Mini has started to bulge in all the wrong places, and lacks those classic proportions of its predecessors, but it's still relatively small and light, and you still get a hint of the brilliant pants on the floor driving position and unobstructed vision through the upright windscreen. In standard trim the engine feels like all you'd ever need, particularly low down in the rev range. But, from delving round a few forums, it's also ripe for remapping, and owners that have taken the plunge seem to be achieving around 300hp. That's a pretty exciting proposition, provided you can keep it on the road... Watch this space on that.

"Which way to Goodwood?"

Which brings me to the handling. Frequently described as go-kart like, Mini has taken this cliche and run with it, to the point where selecting Sport mode brings up the reminder that you're unlocking 'Maximum Go Kart Fun'. Now, for me, go-kart handling evokes ideas of plentiful mechanical grip, direct steering and undiluted feedback. But sadly, where our JCW is concerned, these are not characteristics found in abundance. It lacks adhesion to the road, doesn't feel particularly agile and there's never a reassuring build-up of force before the front end begins to push on. The manual car we drove recently was much better in every respect, but having been unable to try some non-runflat tyres means we can only guess that this is the missing piece of the puzzle in the quest to unlock its full potential. So, as it stands, I don't think this model will ever stand among the greats, or feature in any top 10 run-downs in future reflections. That's not to say that a focused, driver-centric GP version, with a power boost, styling based on the Challenge car, sticky rubber and stripped back interior wouldn't get pulses racing. 

The JCW goes back next week. Just enough time for one last hurrah on the PH track day this Saturday at Goodwood. Ever the optimist, I'm hoping the tachometer will tick over the 10,000-mile threshold mid four-wheel drift around Madgwick. Either that or I'll have the arms of a flailing octopus and look of panic on my face as we skate, Bambi-like, across the Tarmac.

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FACT SHEET:
Car: Mini John Cooper Works
Run by: Danny Milner
On fleet since: May 2015
Mileage: 9,414 
List price new: £31,945 (Basic list of £24,445 plus £750 for Rebel Green paint, £1,400 for Media Pack XL, £2,470 for Chilli Pack, £240 for variable damper control, £140 for run-flat tyres, £220 for sun protection glass, £215 for seat heating, £210 for Mini Yours fibre alloy interior, £590 for Park Distance Control, £150 for LED headlights, £590 for Harman Kardon hi-fi, £140 for intelligent emergency calling, £450 for head-up display)
Last month at a glance: Don't forget about the Mini in your hot hatch selection

Previous updates:
£32K for an automatic Mini? It's off to a tough start...
To Scotland for a proper test
New tyres and roof bars before Silverstone
Pushing harder to unlock Mini magic
Pondering over the extra JCW bits

[Goatex]

I can report similar experiences: I've test driven 3 of these new Mini's - First a manual Cooper S with the adaptive suspension but wanted an auto given the amount of town driving I do so had a shot in one of those when the dealer had one in. The auto was on standard suspension but both had 17" non run-flats. Really enjoyed both of them - the auto was surprisingly good and the adaptive suspension a worthwhile option given the cost. Decided to wait until the JCW came out to see whether that was worth the extra and came away disappointed - the one I drove was an auto with the adaptive suspension but had 18" runflats - I can only assume that is the wheels and tyres that are to blame as the Cooper S's were both a much sweeter drive.

[tonyshepp]

I have a Cooper S manual in the previous shape (r56). Knowing what run flats were like on my BMW 630i and the dramatic change when they were swapped out I did the same for the Mini and by gosh what a difference. A lot smoother ride, better turn in and better grip.

It seems all cars with run flats are hampered by a bad ride and variable handling. I'd even go so far as to suggest that you wouldn't need adaptive suspension if you got rid of the run flats.

[Tannedbaldhead]

tonyshepp said:

I have a Cooper S manual in the previous shape (r56). Knowing what run flats were like on my BMW 630i and the dramatic change when they were swapped out I did the same for the Mini and by gosh what a difference. A lot smoother ride, better turn in and better grip.

It seems all cars with run flats are hampered by a bad ride and variable handling. I'd even go so far as to suggest that you wouldn't need adaptive suspension if you got rid of the run flats.

I run the previous shape Cooper S in Clubman form. A dog of a car on runflats. A peach of a car on NRFs.

Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Friday 11th December 18:41

[Numeric]

Having run two R56, one an S and one a JCW, this would have been the logicall next step for my partner. She took one look and soon figured she might as well go the whole way to a lightly used M135i for a lot less money and a big jump in performance.

For her the fun nippy little terrier she loved so much had just been replaced by a rather bloated bigger car - and if you have a bigger car then the 1 is a better car and a first move to 'big toys' performance. (She also hated the styling, especially the front headlights)

Mini had a great USP in R53 and R56, I do feel they have lost it.

Strangely I jumped in a full spec Cooper S estate (Clubman?) the other day and loved it - but I would replace my ancient 5-series with it - I think something has gone wrong at Mini if an old git now thinks 'oooo that's nice an comfy!'

[jimbrown]

My JCW came with 17" non run-flats (p-zeros) and I can't say I've noticed a lack of front end grip. The latest generation of Minis are a lot more refined than the r56, which is good for 95% of the time but less weight and a bit more steering feel would have made the car a lot more fun to drive.