PAMELA ANDERSON STOPS WHALE PENIS CAR SEATS

Global outrage from lovers of whales - including a personal email from Pamela Anderson - has meant that a Russian custom car manufacturer has had to back out of a plan to upholster a car in whale penis leather.

The Russian manufacturer of the utterly bizarre Dartz $1.5m Pombron luxury armoured car - a car that also features gold plated bulletproof windows and White gold diamond and ruby encrusted badges - is instead searching for alternative ways to cover the foam in its cars' seats.

"After wave of protest we realised our mistake and make a decision not to use natural leathure at all. We will focus on world most advanced nanotechnologies to achieve interior highest quality using artificial materials which also was never used for cars," says Leonard Yankelovich of Dartz.

"We have no any ideas to kill the whale or something like that. All we want - to make just luxury car. We want to tell our hello to all whales: 'Our Sea Brothers! We all know that earth are stand on three whales - we will keep you live! We don't Earth fall down to Ocean!'"

We certainly appreciate the sentiment, Leonard, even if we don't (quite) understand it...