2018 FORD FIESTA

Right, feast your eyes on this: a little Ford Fiesta that's just sauntered onto the forecourt looking like it's auditioning for Fast & Furious: The Budget Years. And here's the shocking bit it's actually brilliant. In fact, it handles so well you'll start to wonder why everyone's faffing about in German hatchbacks that cost more than a small house.

This is the Titanium X, which sounds like a deodorant but is actually the top of the Fiesta tree. It's got all the usual trinkets: alloy wheels, parking sensors the sort of stuff people pretend not to care about but will whinge endlessly if it's missing. But then Ford went mad in a meeting and said, "Fine, give it heated seats, a heated steering wheel, some leather, and Sat Nav," presumably after realising they'd accidentally built something nicer than a Mercedes A-Class, for half the price and without the "I work in finance" attitude.

And the condition? Immaculate. Not "your nan's best china" immaculate properly immaculate. The previous owner clearly treated it like a first-born child, and it arrives complete with two keys and paperwork thicker than War and Peace.

Now, because we're apparently feeling philanthropic, we'll lob in a brand-new MOT, a service, and a 12-month parts and labour warranty. For free. Yes, free. As in, you could literally spend nothing and still complain because we know you will. But it's all part of the frankly ridiculous deal we're offering, so come get it before someone else does and ruins your day.

Features:

16in Alloy Wheel Style Pack, Frozen White