2015 NISSAN JUKE

Right. So.

Look at it.

Its a Nissan Juke which, normally, is the automotive equivalent of ordering a ham sandwich in a restaurant that also serves steak. Safe. Predictable. Mildly confusing. And absolutely everywhere. If you stood in a supermarket car park and shouted JUKE!, at least seven would look up.

But this one this one is different.

Because this isnt some sad little Juke owned by a part-time yoga instructor who only drives it to buy quinoa. No no this is the Tekna. The top-of-the-range one. The posh Juke. The sort of Juke that turns up wearing cufflinks.

And because its the Tekna, its got everything.

Full leather seats? Yep.
Heated seats? Of course because Britain is basically a damp sock nine months a year.
Reverse camera? Yes, so you can park this gloriously odd-shaped thing without mowing down a bollard.
Sat nav, Bluetooth, cruise control, lane departure warning, keyless entry its all here.

In fact it has so many features you half expect it to make you a cup of tea, judge your posture, and remind you to call your mother.

And then theres the colour.

Ink Blue metallic.
Which is a fancy way of saying it looks like its been dipped in the North Sea at midnight. And with those diamond-cut wheels, it actually looks dare I say it cool.

Now lets address the little number issue because I can already hear some bloke at the back going:

Hang on why does the mileage look weird?

Well. Heres why: the speedometer was replaced at 30,000 miles.

So yes, its showing 17,080 like its been driven only to church and back by a retired librarian.

But in reality its done 47,801 miles.

And frankly thats still nothing. For a 2015 car it should be approaching 100,000 by now covered in scars, emotional trauma, and a faint smell of wet dog.

This one? Still fresh. Still eager. Still basically in its prime.

And powering all of this is the legendary 1.5 dCi diesel an engine so dependable it might as well come with a flat cap and a packed lunch. It runs on fumes. It will do mileage figures so high you start suspecting witchcraft. And it will keep going until the sun burns out and the oceans boil.

Its a proper workhorse.

And because its been properly looked after almost full service history, two keys itll come with:

Fresh service
12 months warranty
Brand-new MOT with no advisories

And the best bit?

You dont pay extra for any of that.

Its free.

FREE.

Which, in motoring terms, is practically unheard of like finding a German car that doesnt have a warning light on.

So yes there are loads of Jukes out there.

But this one?

This one is the right one.

Features:

Ink Blue, Premium Leather - Black with Black Centre Console