****ing fuming

[seabod91]

I’m normally a totally relaxed kind of person and what happens happens and what’s done is done type.

To cut a long-ish story short.

My stepdaughter went to a friend’s party today, my youngest girl had an operation yesterday so they offered to take her and bring her back. The stepdaughter who is 10 has wattsapp and she is always putting stories on there. My wife’s phone alerted that she had put a picture up, open the picture and its of four young kids the same age in the back of a bmw convertible with the roof down. WITH NO fkING BELTS ON. Even her text on the picture is “4 in the back and no seatbelts” I can tell it was taken on the A1M between Welwyn garden city and letchworth. To say I’m mad is an understatement and will be having stern words with her when she is back. She is getting dropped off by another friend’s mom so unfortunately I can’t have “words” with the tt who took her. Can and should I report this to the police. I’m utterly shocked and not felt this angry in a long time.

[Pebbles167]

Wouldn't bother reporting it, doubt they'd be interested.

Give your daughter some flak, or explain the dangers, whichever way you dispense discipline, and don't allow her to travel with that parent (or driver) again.

Agreed though, silly and irresponsible, an adult should know better.

[texaxile]

I’ve faced a similar situation and it was down to peer pressure in the most part.

Take a deep breath , you’re a good parent and your daughter made a bad, spur of the moment choice.

Show some video on YouTube highlighting the dangers, have a chat over a coffee and maybe show some hardcore racing videos where a harness has made a difference.

If you can find some graphic images of failures to wear a seatbelt then that’s your call, but this kind of thing needs education not harsh reactions.
My daughter saw the error of her ways when I told her that going thru the windscreen isn’t the end of the journey as her face mashes with the tarmac.

[HustleRussell]

TBH some crash test dummy videos would probably do the job

[Grumps.]

seabod91 said:

I’m normally a totally relaxed kind of person and what happens happens and what’s done is done type.

To cut a long-ish story short.

My stepdaughter went to a friend’s party today, my youngest girl had an operation yesterday so they offered to take her and bring her back. The stepdaughter who is 10 has wattsapp and she is always putting stories on there. My wife’s phone alerted that she had put a picture up, open the picture and its of four young kids the same age in the back of a bmw convertible with the roof down. WITH NO fkING BELTS ON. Even her text on the picture is “4 in the back and no seatbelts” I can tell it was taken on the A1M between Welwyn garden city and letchworth. To say I’m mad is an understatement and will be having stern words with her when she is back. She is getting dropped off by another friend’s mom so unfortunately I can’t have “words” with the tt who took her. Can and should I report this to the police. I’m utterly shocked and not felt this angry in a long time.

Not sure I follow. Was it the 10 year old in the back of the car?

[seabod91]

Pebbles167 said:

Wouldn't bother reporting it, doubt they'd be interested.

Give your daughter some flak, or explain the dangers, whichever way you dispense discipline, and don't allow her to travel with that parent (or driver) again.

Agreed though, silly and irresponsible, an adult should know better.

Just had a bit of a talk argument with her as her response was “it’s ok we’re fine”

I know he would never get prosecuted but even if it got to having a word I’d hope it would make him realise.

[seabod91]

texaxile said:

I’ve faced a similar situation and it was down to peer pressure in the most part.

Take a deep breath , you’re a good parent and your daughter made a bad, spur of the moment choice.

Show some video on YouTube highlighting the dangers, have a chat over a coffee and maybe show some hardcore racing videos where a harness has made a difference.

If you can find some graphic images of failures to wear a seatbelt then that’s your call, but this kind of thing needs education not harsh reactions.
My daughter saw the error of her ways when I told her that going thru the windscreen isn’t the end of the journey as her face mashes with the tarmac.

She is 10 so I’m struggling to feel the amount of blame I can put on her. Some good advice there though cheers.

[seabod91]

HustleRussell said:

TBH some crash test dummy videos would probably do the job

Good idea.

[seabod91]

Grumps. said:

seabod91 said:

I’m normally a totally relaxed kind of person and what happens happens and what’s done is done type.

To cut a long-ish story short.

My stepdaughter went to a friend’s party today, my youngest girl had an operation yesterday so they offered to take her and bring her back. The stepdaughter who is 10 has wattsapp and she is always putting stories on there. My wife’s phone alerted that she had put a picture up, open the picture and its of four young kids the same age in the back of a bmw convertible with the roof down. WITH NO fkING BELTS ON. Even her text on the picture is “4 in the back and no seatbelts” I can tell it was taken on the A1M between Welwyn garden city and letchworth. To say I’m mad is an understatement and will be having stern words with her when she is back. She is getting dropped off by another friend’s mom so unfortunately I can’t have “words” with the tt who took her. Can and should I report this to the police. I’m utterly shocked and not felt this angry in a long time.

Not sure I follow. Was it the 10 year old in the back of the car?

Yes.

[HIAO]

I suppose that once they'd accepted that it was ok for there to be 4 back seat passengers, it was going to be inevitable that none would be wearing a seatbelt.

I always hesitate to go ballistic when I find out about bad behaviour, or poor judgement, because an angry reaction just teaches children to get smarter about hiding stuff from us.

[HustleRussell]

seabod91 said:

HustleRussell said:

TBH some crash test dummy videos would probably do the job

Good idea.

Tell ya what else, a sobering account from an emergency services first responder, the likes of which you could see in TV documentaries…

All the fear and none of the gore

[MrSmith901]

My eldest son is 10 and has WhatsApp, worrying times.

In your shoes, I would not be happy about this at all and would probably reprimand the driver and parents. As others have said, explaining the dangers to your child is probably a good start.

Kids growing up too fast these days.

[pip t]

I remember doing this when I was a kid (minus the WhatsApp), as well as riding unrestrained in the boot of many an estate. Somehow I survived.

I’m not saying what happened was a good thing, and I’d certainly question the judgement of the driver, but I’d say it’s not worth causing a ruckus over. It was pretty unlikely anything bad would happen, and nothing bad did happen.

A gentle reminder to your daughter that it’s not good to be a passenger without a seatbelt and move on I’d say. Also remember she may have been put in a position where it was very difficult to say no if she was being given a lift somewhere. If you’re able to do so maybe a polite word to whoever was driving that you weren’t overly pleased….but as I say, I wouldn’t be going fire & brimstone on people.

[Mikebentley]

I too would be spitting feathers, what sort of scumbag wedges 4 10 yr old kids unrestrained in the back of a convertible?

[r3g]

pip t said:

I remember doing this when I was a kid (minus the WhatsApp), as well as riding unrestrained in the boot of many an estate. Somehow I survived.

This! Seems like a complete overreaction to me, to be "****ing fuming"

Back in my day, cars didn't even have seat belts and we'd play around on the back seat, or on occasions in the back of a pick-up being bounced around fields and lanes at silly speeds, and we're all still alive and here to tell the tale.

[iwantagta]

Many people didn't survive. Seatbelts do save lives. I think its reasonable to suggest that when looking after someone elses kid you do so with at least a vague following of current social norms.

[The_Nugget]

r3g said:

pip t said:

I remember doing this when I was a kid (minus the WhatsApp), as well as riding unrestrained in the boot of many an estate. Somehow I survived.

This! Seems like a complete overreaction to me, to be "****ing fuming"

Back in my day, cars didn't even have seat belts and we'd play around on the back seat, or on occasions in the back of a pick-up being bounced around fields and lanes at silly speeds, and we're all still alive and here to tell the tale.

The ones who died aren’t here to tell the tale.
It’s not an overreaction in my opinion.
Another supposedly responsible adult has no right to put your child at that risk. Totally unacceptable.

[Kinky]

Also bear in mind that having 4 in the back might possibly mean being uninsured. I know it used to be case, and assume it still is these days.

[Bill]

seabod91 said:

She is 10 so I’m struggling to feel the amount of blame I can put on her. Some good advice there though cheers.

None. It's the adult's fault.

[monthou]

Kinky said:

Also bear in mind that having 4 in the back might possibly mean being uninsured. I know it used to be case, and assume it still is these days.

No it didn't.