How to protect inheritance?
Discussion
Hi all looking for some advise
I am getting married in April this year, we are both 35, we have 1 kid between us who is 19 months and she has an 11 year old who she has 50% custody with his dad.
I'm in the process of writing a will and was going to put in there that the house etc is my sons on him turning 18 but his mum can live in it till then kind of thing but my mum doesn't seem to think that will work and the law will override the will.
At the moment we live in a house that I purchased 3 years ago, I previously had a house for 12 years. I pay the mortgage and all the bills. I have life insurance and critical illness.
Mum has put a couple of scenarios in my head and I want to know how I can protect my assets against these scenarios now basically. Scenario 1 is where I inherit 50% of my mums estate (my sister gets the other 50%) and then I pass away and my wife inherits 100% of my estate including the 50% of my mums estate, if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours. Now if I was my 19 month old son in this scenario I'd be like hold on, thats my dads house nothing to do with you (the step brother). In this scenario the older kid (isnt mine) could end up with 100% of his dads house and 50% of my house where as my son will just get the 50% of mine.
Scenario 2 was similar, I inherit 50% of my mums estate, I then die, my wife inherits 100% of my estate, she then gets remarried and all of a sudden my estate and mums is now being shared with people we dont even know.
How do I protect my estate, I dont want it ending up spread between non relations etc, is it enough to say in the will I want xxxx to be given to this person etc.
I am getting married in April this year, we are both 35, we have 1 kid between us who is 19 months and she has an 11 year old who she has 50% custody with his dad.
I'm in the process of writing a will and was going to put in there that the house etc is my sons on him turning 18 but his mum can live in it till then kind of thing but my mum doesn't seem to think that will work and the law will override the will.
At the moment we live in a house that I purchased 3 years ago, I previously had a house for 12 years. I pay the mortgage and all the bills. I have life insurance and critical illness.
Mum has put a couple of scenarios in my head and I want to know how I can protect my assets against these scenarios now basically. Scenario 1 is where I inherit 50% of my mums estate (my sister gets the other 50%) and then I pass away and my wife inherits 100% of my estate including the 50% of my mums estate, if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours. Now if I was my 19 month old son in this scenario I'd be like hold on, thats my dads house nothing to do with you (the step brother). In this scenario the older kid (isnt mine) could end up with 100% of his dads house and 50% of my house where as my son will just get the 50% of mine.
Scenario 2 was similar, I inherit 50% of my mums estate, I then die, my wife inherits 100% of my estate, she then gets remarried and all of a sudden my estate and mums is now being shared with people we dont even know.
How do I protect my estate, I dont want it ending up spread between non relations etc, is it enough to say in the will I want xxxx to be given to this person etc.
Edited by the-norseman on Sunday 25th February 22:59
Write a will with advice from a proper solicitor, not a will writer, not a template off the internet and not blindly following advice from random strangers on the internet (except if they're recommending getting proper professional advice 
).
You can easily cater for those eventualities far in advance, as well as others. For example, what would happen if you had another child? All these can be discussed and planned for with a specialist solicitor. Our family affairs are similarly complex, and we have wills which cater for every possibility. We own our house as tenants-in-common with 50% ownership each, and we each give the other life interest in our share meaning that the surviving spouse gets to stay in the house or even move somewhere else if they wish, but then the ownership passes to the nominated beneficiaries which cannot be changed, so assets won't cross over except where intended.
You can easily control the path your estate takes through careful planning. Depending on the size, this might necessitate some trusts to be established but those aren't really difficult.
IANAL but I use the services of one!
). You can easily cater for those eventualities far in advance, as well as others. For example, what would happen if you had another child? All these can be discussed and planned for with a specialist solicitor. Our family affairs are similarly complex, and we have wills which cater for every possibility. We own our house as tenants-in-common with 50% ownership each, and we each give the other life interest in our share meaning that the surviving spouse gets to stay in the house or even move somewhere else if they wish, but then the ownership passes to the nominated beneficiaries which cannot be changed, so assets won't cross over except where intended.
You can easily control the path your estate takes through careful planning. Depending on the size, this might necessitate some trusts to be established but those aren't really difficult.
IANAL but I use the services of one!
Drumroll said:
Sorry but this already sounds toxic to me "if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours".
Probably badly worded by me but, at the end of the day hes not my son, yes he lives with us 50% of the time and I look after him etc but hes not mine. He will one day get inheritance off his dads side and also off his mums side, off his real grandparents etc. But don't see why he should also get access to my stuff. if you call him Child A and my son Child B does this look "fair"
Child A
100% of dads estate
50% of mums estate
50% of my estate
Child B
50% of my estate
50% of mums estate
Its not just about Child A though, were only 35, if one of us was to pass now there is a good chance the other will move on and thats the other complication I want to protect against.
Edited by the-norseman on Sunday 25th February 23:41
QuickQuack said:
Write a will with advice from a proper solicitor, not a will writer, not a template off the internet and not blindly following advice from random strangers on the internet (except if they're recommending getting proper professional advice ).
You can easily cater for those eventualities far in advance, as well as others. For example, what would happen if you had another child? All these can be discussed and planned for with a specialist solicitor. Our family affairs are similarly complex, and we have wills which cater for every possibility. We own our house as tenants-in-common with 50% ownership each, and we each give the other life interest in our share meaning that the surviving spouse gets to stay in the house or even move somewhere else if they wish, but then the ownership passes to the nominated beneficiaries which cannot be changed, so assets won't cross over except where intended.
You can easily control the path your estate takes through careful planning. Depending on the size, this might necessitate some trusts to be established but those aren't really difficult.
IANAL but I use the services of one!
Thanks, I will look locally and see who is recommended, another child is a possibility. ). You can easily cater for those eventualities far in advance, as well as others. For example, what would happen if you had another child? All these can be discussed and planned for with a specialist solicitor. Our family affairs are similarly complex, and we have wills which cater for every possibility. We own our house as tenants-in-common with 50% ownership each, and we each give the other life interest in our share meaning that the surviving spouse gets to stay in the house or even move somewhere else if they wish, but then the ownership passes to the nominated beneficiaries which cannot be changed, so assets won't cross over except where intended.
You can easily control the path your estate takes through careful planning. Depending on the size, this might necessitate some trusts to be established but those aren't really difficult.
IANAL but I use the services of one!
the-norseman said:
Drumroll said:
Sorry but this already sounds toxic to me "if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours".
Probably badly worded by me but, at the end of the day hes not my son, yes he lives with us 50% of the time and I look after him etc but hes not mine. He will one day get inheritance off his dads side and also off his mums side, off his real grandparents etc. But don't see why he should also get access to my stuff. if you call him Child A and my son Child B does this look "fair"
Child A
100% of dads estate
50% of mums estate
50% of my estate
Child B
50% of my estate
50% of mums estate
Its not just about Child A though, were only 35, if one of us was to pass now there is a good chance the other will move on and thats the other complication I want to protect against.
Edited by the-norseman on Sunday 25th February 23:41
Drumroll said:
But life isn't fair. Who is to say child A's dad doesn't have more kids? Who is to say what any of the estates will be worth at the time of death.
Child A's dad doesn't have more kids we know that. And my estate currently is worth around 4 times more if It was to happen today. Anyway I will seek professional help from a local solicitor.
My mum did this. Both her and my step dad, if either dies, can stay in the house until they’re either dead or need to go into a nursing home. At the point it’s sold then half the house goes to my step dad’s kids and half goes to us. Same split with other assets and cash except that the other assets and cash will be sold/doled out on death.
It’s a perfectly legitimate thing to do.
It’s a perfectly legitimate thing to do.
I remember as a kid watching Hollyoaks (awful) and I think there was a character called Max who's father and stepmum died and then they had a problem because....
Mum left her 50% of the estate to her daughter
Dad left his 50% to his son and his daughter and step daughter.
So the stepmums daughter got 66% of the assets in total, and her step siblings got 17% each.
I know its rubbish soap and all that but even as a kid I remember thinking how unfair this was and it's good that the OP is taking a prudent view. At the end of the day Child A stands to benefit from 2 estates but Child B only benefits from 1.
Another poster commented 'life is unfair', true, but OP has an opportunity to address that and why wouldn't anyone introduce 'fairness' if they could?
Mum left her 50% of the estate to her daughter
Dad left his 50% to his son and his daughter and step daughter.
So the stepmums daughter got 66% of the assets in total, and her step siblings got 17% each.
I know its rubbish soap and all that but even as a kid I remember thinking how unfair this was and it's good that the OP is taking a prudent view. At the end of the day Child A stands to benefit from 2 estates but Child B only benefits from 1.
Another poster commented 'life is unfair', true, but OP has an opportunity to address that and why wouldn't anyone introduce 'fairness' if they could?
Drumroll said:
Sorry but this already sounds toxic to me "if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours".
Maybe ask the oldest, if he is happy to share his share from his mother's side of the family with his half brother. It's m
Alot of its the ups and downs of split households. Child B has a happy stable family. Child A has come from a broken home and is now being shunned from both sides as the annoying past. Especially so if the dad gets himself a new family.
He's earned himself 2 slices of pie.
Well done for showing your true intentions of not wanting him as part of your family.
He's earned himself 2 slices of pie.
Well done for showing your true intentions of not wanting him as part of your family.
Drumroll said:
Sorry but this already sounds toxic to me "if my wife then dies she will split the estate 50/50 between her two sons which means her eldest son is inheriting mine and my mums estate even though hes not blood relation of ours".
To the OP: Maybe ask the oldest, if he is happy to share his share from his mother's side of the family with his half brother.
Surely, you are treating your wife's son as an equal, would be best. Get married, give your wife everything you have, mental, physical, financial, or rather share it with her. If she died, and you got everything, would you write a will so that each child got a half share, or would you make sure your son was favoured over his half brother. Anything else and you shouldn't be getting married, if you don't treat her son as your own.
QuickQuack said:
Write a will with advice from a proper solicitor, not a will writer, not a template off the internet and not blindly following advice from random strangers on the internet (except if they're recommending getting proper professional advice ).
100% this. ). OP, your concerns are reasonable and legitimate.
zedstar said:
I remember as a kid watching Hollyoaks (awful) and I think there was a character called Max who's father and stepmum died and then they had a problem because....
Mum left her 50% of the estate to her daughter
Dad left his 50% to his son and his daughter and step daughter.
So the stepmums daughter got 66% of the assets in total, and her step siblings got 17% each.
I know its rubbish soap and all that but even as a kid I remember thinking how unfair this was and it's good that the OP is taking a prudent view. At the end of the day Child A stands to benefit from 2 estates but Child B only benefits from 1.
Another poster commented 'life is unfair', true, but OP has an opportunity to address that and why wouldn't anyone introduce 'fairness' if they could?
It's a great soap. My nephew was a regular school boy extra in it. Boy on skate board, boy on edge of fight scene. Boy walking down road, boy in cafe. Etc. His pay, put him through drama school, so he could become an estate agent. Mum left her 50% of the estate to her daughter
Dad left his 50% to his son and his daughter and step daughter.
So the stepmums daughter got 66% of the assets in total, and her step siblings got 17% each.
I know its rubbish soap and all that but even as a kid I remember thinking how unfair this was and it's good that the OP is taking a prudent view. At the end of the day Child A stands to benefit from 2 estates but Child B only benefits from 1.
Another poster commented 'life is unfair', true, but OP has an opportunity to address that and why wouldn't anyone introduce 'fairness' if they could?
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