Getting car back from ex-girlfriend
Discussion
Last November I bought a car for my girlfriend - a Mazda MX5. Paid £3000. The car was registered in her name. I paid with my credit card.
In retrospect, it was a crazy thing to do, but she said she'd marry me if I did this.
In February, we split up. She said she would return the car, but I would have to pay her £750 to buy her out. I did this. She gave me the car, keys and V5, and signed a receipt, stating that I was now the sole owner of the car.
A couple of weeks later, we got back together. Foolishly, I gave her a key, and let her use the car. I retained the spare key, V5 and receipt.
Last week, we split up for good, and she is refusing to return the car, saying that I gave it to her as a gift. She refuses to discuss the matter. I offered to sell her the car cheaply, just to be done with it. She declined, saying she owed me nothing.
She told me that I would be wasting my time looking for the car. I guess she has either hidden it away, or sold it.
I know that I have been very stupid, but I don't want to just give in. Speaking at length with her mother, it seems she has a history of this kind of thing, having bled 3 ex-husbands dry.
Her mother told me not to give in, she needs to learn that she can't keep doing this kind of thing.
I count myself lucky that she didn't marry me. I could have lost everything.
Is it worth pursuing her for the value of the car? If it is, should I go through a solicitor, or small claims court?
I don't want to just try and take the car back (assuming I could find it), as I fear that I will end up being wrong in the eyes of the law, and she may take reprisals against my property.
In retrospect, it was a crazy thing to do, but she said she'd marry me if I did this.
In February, we split up. She said she would return the car, but I would have to pay her £750 to buy her out. I did this. She gave me the car, keys and V5, and signed a receipt, stating that I was now the sole owner of the car.
A couple of weeks later, we got back together. Foolishly, I gave her a key, and let her use the car. I retained the spare key, V5 and receipt.
Last week, we split up for good, and she is refusing to return the car, saying that I gave it to her as a gift. She refuses to discuss the matter. I offered to sell her the car cheaply, just to be done with it. She declined, saying she owed me nothing.
She told me that I would be wasting my time looking for the car. I guess she has either hidden it away, or sold it.
I know that I have been very stupid, but I don't want to just give in. Speaking at length with her mother, it seems she has a history of this kind of thing, having bled 3 ex-husbands dry.
Her mother told me not to give in, she needs to learn that she can't keep doing this kind of thing.
I count myself lucky that she didn't marry me. I could have lost everything.
Is it worth pursuing her for the value of the car? If it is, should I go through a solicitor, or small claims court?
I don't want to just try and take the car back (assuming I could find it), as I fear that I will end up being wrong in the eyes of the law, and she may take reprisals against my property.
clockworks said:
I bought a car for my girlfriend. She said she'd marry me if I did this.
Wow, she loved you a lot!A wise man once said: "Love is grand. Divorce is several hundred grand". You probably need to breathe a sigh of relief that you only got taken for a cheap car, and walk away.
clockworks said:
Last November I bought a car for my girlfriend - a Mazda MX5. Paid £3000. The car was registered in her name. I paid with my credit card.
In retrospect, it was a crazy thing to do, but she said she'd marry me if I did this.
In February, we split up. She said she would return the car, but I would have to pay her £750 to buy her out. I did this. She gave me the car, keys and V5, and signed a receipt, stating that I was now the sole owner of the car.
A couple of weeks later, we got back together. Foolishly, I gave her a key, and let her use the car. I retained the spare key, V5 and receipt.
Last week, we split up for good, and she is refusing to return the car, saying that I gave it to her as a gift. She refuses to discuss the matter. I offered to sell her the car cheaply, just to be done with it. She declined, saying she owed me nothing.
She told me that I would be wasting my time looking for the car. I guess she has either hidden it away, or sold it.
I know that I have been very stupid, but I don't want to just give in. Speaking at length with her mother, it seems she has a history of this kind of thing, having bled 3 ex-husbands dry.
Her mother told me not to give in, she needs to learn that she can't keep doing this kind of thing.
I count myself lucky that she didn't marry me. I could have lost everything.
Is it worth pursuing her for the value of the car? If it is, should I go through a solicitor, or small claims court?
I don't want to just try and take the car back (assuming I could find it), as I fear that I will end up being wrong in the eyes of the law, and she may take reprisals against my property.
Report it stolen? Even though she has the key she doesn't currently have your consent.In retrospect, it was a crazy thing to do, but she said she'd marry me if I did this.
In February, we split up. She said she would return the car, but I would have to pay her £750 to buy her out. I did this. She gave me the car, keys and V5, and signed a receipt, stating that I was now the sole owner of the car.
A couple of weeks later, we got back together. Foolishly, I gave her a key, and let her use the car. I retained the spare key, V5 and receipt.
Last week, we split up for good, and she is refusing to return the car, saying that I gave it to her as a gift. She refuses to discuss the matter. I offered to sell her the car cheaply, just to be done with it. She declined, saying she owed me nothing.
She told me that I would be wasting my time looking for the car. I guess she has either hidden it away, or sold it.
I know that I have been very stupid, but I don't want to just give in. Speaking at length with her mother, it seems she has a history of this kind of thing, having bled 3 ex-husbands dry.
Her mother told me not to give in, she needs to learn that she can't keep doing this kind of thing.
I count myself lucky that she didn't marry me. I could have lost everything.
Is it worth pursuing her for the value of the car? If it is, should I go through a solicitor, or small claims court?
I don't want to just try and take the car back (assuming I could find it), as I fear that I will end up being wrong in the eyes of the law, and she may take reprisals against my property.
You say you gave her the spare key but kept everything else, why get in the car and drive it off?
Is the money a lot to you? Can you not walk away and consider 3 k to be worth the price of getting rid?
I don't know about taking her to court as I have never had to do it, but I look forward to seeing how this pans out.
Yes, I have learned a lot from this experience. I had a poor self-image when we met, and she played on that.
She made me doubt my worth as a human being, as I was getting such mixed signals from her. Continual criticism, but daily declarations on her undying love.
It does have an upside though. The experience was a wake-up call. I knew that I couldn't go on the way I was. I needed help.
I enrolled on a 30 week counselling skills course at the local college, and treated it as group therapy. I also got 16 weeks of one to one counselling for free.
This has helped me to see that I am a decent bloke, and deserve better. The support I got from my fellow students gave me the strength to stand up to her, to get out of the relationship.
My self-image has improved a lot, I am now comfortable with who I am.
I am ready to move forward, and I am tempted to just drop the whole thing, treat it as part of my therapy. An expensive mistake, but probably cheaper than paying for years of therapy, and certainly cheaper than if we had got married.
I am semi-retired (retired early), and £3000 is basically 3 month's income for me.
She made me doubt my worth as a human being, as I was getting such mixed signals from her. Continual criticism, but daily declarations on her undying love.
It does have an upside though. The experience was a wake-up call. I knew that I couldn't go on the way I was. I needed help.
I enrolled on a 30 week counselling skills course at the local college, and treated it as group therapy. I also got 16 weeks of one to one counselling for free.
This has helped me to see that I am a decent bloke, and deserve better. The support I got from my fellow students gave me the strength to stand up to her, to get out of the relationship.
My self-image has improved a lot, I am now comfortable with who I am.
I am ready to move forward, and I am tempted to just drop the whole thing, treat it as part of my therapy. An expensive mistake, but probably cheaper than paying for years of therapy, and certainly cheaper than if we had got married.
I am semi-retired (retired early), and £3000 is basically 3 month's income for me.
clockworks said:
Last November I bought a car for my girlfriend - a Mazda MX5.
You have answered your own question.It was a gift, a foolish one in hindsight but a gift none the less.
You were luckly to get it back the first time, you may not be so lucky this time.
3 ex husbands and you didn't see the signs, really?????
Do you really want police resources to be used on this? The police may be reluctant to get involved in what they will see as a private tiff, but things could go badly if the ex chooses to cause hassle and says "I left him because he abused me", or some such.
If you sue, the ex may say that after your last reconciliation you gave her the car outright, and you may have a swearing contest in front of a District Judge. Then if you win you will have to enforce judgment against a person who may have no visible assets.
Put this down to experience and move on. When you first gave the woman the car, you had already spent the money and did not expect to have money or car, so treat that money as gone.
If you sue, the ex may say that after your last reconciliation you gave her the car outright, and you may have a swearing contest in front of a District Judge. Then if you win you will have to enforce judgment against a person who may have no visible assets.
Put this down to experience and move on. When you first gave the woman the car, you had already spent the money and did not expect to have money or car, so treat that money as gone.
ks then rent it". 
MiniMan64 said:
You are in position of the V5?
So she can't of sold it which means it is somewhere. By the sounds of it you're on fairly good terms with at least the mother, must be able to track it down.
The V5 is not proof of ownership and it is perfectly possible to sell a car without possession of the V5 for it. So she can't of sold it which means it is somewhere. By the sounds of it you're on fairly good terms with at least the mother, must be able to track it down.
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