Separated not divorced - liable for ex's debts?
Discussion
I'm trying to find some information on the web to help a friend of mine.
Basically his wife announced it was over (and conveniently 'met a new man' just weeks later, what a coincidence). They've split, sold the marital home, bought houses each (with eye watering mortgages) and that's that. They're waiting for two year to elapse so that they can get a 'no fault' divorce.
My concern is that his ex wife (or, I suppose technically, wife) aspires to a certain standard of lifestyle. She's living alone in the house she's bought working part time and yet seems to still have money to spend.
My question is, if (as I suspect) she's doing this with overdrafts, loans, credit cards and who knows what (maybe hoping that the new man, who coincidentally seems fairly well off, will eventually marry her and give her the life to which she clearly aspires), could my mate be liable for any of it come the final divorce?
I'm just concerned that they'll get to the final divorce and she'll spring on him that she's £30K in the hole and half of that is his responsibility.
There seems to be loads of divorce advice on the internet but I'm struggling to find anything that covers this. If anyone knows of any useful web sites that might help (or has first hand experience) I'd be grateful.
Basically his wife announced it was over (and conveniently 'met a new man' just weeks later, what a coincidence). They've split, sold the marital home, bought houses each (with eye watering mortgages) and that's that. They're waiting for two year to elapse so that they can get a 'no fault' divorce.
My concern is that his ex wife (or, I suppose technically, wife) aspires to a certain standard of lifestyle. She's living alone in the house she's bought working part time and yet seems to still have money to spend.
My question is, if (as I suspect) she's doing this with overdrafts, loans, credit cards and who knows what (maybe hoping that the new man, who coincidentally seems fairly well off, will eventually marry her and give her the life to which she clearly aspires), could my mate be liable for any of it come the final divorce?
I'm just concerned that they'll get to the final divorce and she'll spring on him that she's £30K in the hole and half of that is his responsibility.
There seems to be loads of divorce advice on the internet but I'm struggling to find anything that covers this. If anyone knows of any useful web sites that might help (or has first hand experience) I'd be grateful.
Magic919 said:
If the debts are not in their joint names, nothing to worry about.
You would think so wouldn't you? I was separated from my wife for two years before we divorced, I was still liable for more than half of the debts she'd accrued in the time we were separated right up to the time we got the financial settlement at the end of the divorce.I believe there's an action you can take earlier, (Financial Separation rings a bell), your mate should look into that because he will get bent over if she runs up debts. I wish I'd done it.
Chlamydia said:
You would think so wouldn't you? I was separated from my wife for two years before we divorced, I was still liable for more than half of the debts she'd accrued in the time we were separated right up to the time we got the financial settlement at the end of the divorce.
I believe there's an action you can take earlier, (Financial Separation rings a bell), your mate should look into that because he will get bent over if she runs up debts. I wish I'd done it.
This is exactly the thing that concerns me. The problem is that he's had a rough time over this (and indeed right through his marriage as it turns out) and seems to be taking the path of least resistance, which is not to pre-emptively deal with anything unless he has to.I believe there's an action you can take earlier, (Financial Separation rings a bell), your mate should look into that because he will get bent over if she runs up debts. I wish I'd done it.
This is why I really would like to find something that I can show him that sets out the problem (and ideally a solution) so that it becomes 'real' to him.
My fear is that kicking this one down the road and not dealing with it will bite him very hard in the wallet when D-Day eventually rolls around. And he just does not have any financial slack in the system to deal with this if that is the case.
V8forweekends said:
Why in the name of all that is Holy are they waiting 2 years? Your mate needs to instigate divorce immediately.
Because:He's scared of her (I know, but 20 years of negative conditioning)
He can't afford to (I know, can't afford not to)
After a mammoth amount of grief he is just reactive to situations rather than proactive.
Doing my best to see him straight but it isn't easy, hence wanting to back this up with facts.
"Darling, I ran up debts of £100k while we were separated and half of that's yours I'm afraid".
Ari said:
Because:
He's scared of her (I know, but 20 years of negative conditioning)
He can't afford to (I know, can't afford not to)
After a mammoth amount of grief he is just reactive to situations rather than proactive.
Doing my best to see him straight but it isn't easy, hence wanting to back this up with facts.
He doesn't need to pay anything except court fees in order to issue divorce proceedings - get forms from court and fill in. It is exceptionally rare for a divorce to be contested (since the 1974 changes) and ultimately pointless. If he waits two years, she could make it five years by being awkward. Finances will be considered at the point of divorce, not separation - separation doesn't generally have any legal meaning or effect. If he cites adultery or unreasonable behaviour she will find either difficult (and pointless) to argue against. He's scared of her (I know, but 20 years of negative conditioning)
He can't afford to (I know, can't afford not to)
After a mammoth amount of grief he is just reactive to situations rather than proactive.
Doing my best to see him straight but it isn't easy, hence wanting to back this up with facts.
A lot of people have some very odd ideas on divorce. If it's over (as it clearly is) get divorced soon as and move on. If there are any joint credit or bank accounts, shut them down as soon as poss.
Ari said:
They're waiting for two year to elapse so that they can get a 'no fault' divorce.
That's bonkers. There is no public record of reasons for a divorce, there's no stigma, and these days it is ridiculously easy to get a divorce under "Unreasonable Behaviour" as a majority of magistrates will rule that two people not wanting to be married to each other any more is a pretty good grounds for divorce. The only thing is that not waiting two years is one has to be the Respondent and the other has to be the Petitioner. Who is who doesn't matter apart from the fact the Petitioner tends to drive things a little more.
From my own experience of being the Respondent and waiting for my ex to drive things along, I'd suggest he just man's up and petitions for divorce right away as the Petitioner. Why wait 2 years before you can get on with your life? And her shacking up with someone else is pretty good grounds for divorce anyway.
V8forweekends said:
If he waits two years, she could make it five years by being awkward.
Exactly. It's only 2 years by consent. If one party doesn't consent it's 5 years for "abandonment". Edited by JonRB on Friday 20th February 14:51
Gents, I could not agree with you more and have said all this to him.
Ultimately he is a really nice, but rather weak, guy who has been walked all over for 20 years. He's like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly, she only has to raise her voice and he cowers.
She doesn't want him to divorce her for adultery because, surprise surprise, 'it's all his fault (somehow), I'm not going to be labelled an adulteress'.
Plus he doesn't have the money to instigate a divorce and thinks that after two years (which will be this September in any case, it took ages to sell the house) she will pay half toward it.
As I say, had all these arguments, told him to man up and get on with it but it isn't going to happen.
My concern is that in the meantime she'll be getting deeper and deeper into debt and when crunch time comes, she'll land him with half of it. She had a credit card that was in his name, when they split up she told him that was his and washed her hands of it (he paid it off) and when the house wouldn't sell she tried to goad him into hitting her and when he wouldn't, tried to claim he had to have him ejected from the house anyway.
She's really not a nice person and is very manipulative, and he's weak - I really fear that this could go badly for him. I need to show him a website or something which explains his potential liability and explains what to do about it (I think there is a 'final order' or something that can be agreed as a cut off to joint liability but not sure, again hence looking for this info).
Ultimately he is a really nice, but rather weak, guy who has been walked all over for 20 years. He's like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly, she only has to raise her voice and he cowers.
She doesn't want him to divorce her for adultery because, surprise surprise, 'it's all his fault (somehow), I'm not going to be labelled an adulteress'.
Plus he doesn't have the money to instigate a divorce and thinks that after two years (which will be this September in any case, it took ages to sell the house) she will pay half toward it.
As I say, had all these arguments, told him to man up and get on with it but it isn't going to happen.
My concern is that in the meantime she'll be getting deeper and deeper into debt and when crunch time comes, she'll land him with half of it. She had a credit card that was in his name, when they split up she told him that was his and washed her hands of it (he paid it off) and when the house wouldn't sell she tried to goad him into hitting her and when he wouldn't, tried to claim he had to have him ejected from the house anyway.
She's really not a nice person and is very manipulative, and he's weak - I really fear that this could go badly for him. I need to show him a website or something which explains his potential liability and explains what to do about it (I think there is a 'final order' or something that can be agreed as a cut off to joint liability but not sure, again hence looking for this info).
I was under the impression that debts only in the name of one party, i.e. his wife, are not connected to him in any way. It is only joint debts that he needs to worry about. At least that what I thought.
Edit:
This website seems to confirm what I think.
http://help.cleardebts.co.uk/partners_debts.html
The fact is that you are only liable for debts if they are in your name.
Edit:
This website seems to confirm what I think.
http://help.cleardebts.co.uk/partners_debts.html
The fact is that you are only liable for debts if they are in your name.
Chlamydia said:
Magic919 said:
If the debts are not in their joint names, nothing to worry about.
You would think so wouldn't you? Probably worth saying that divorces without kids are the simplest and cheapest. Rules are different when dependent children are involved.
Ari said:
Gents, I could not agree with you more and have said all this to him.
Ultimately he is a really nice, but rather weak, guy who has been walked all over for 20 years. He's like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly, she only has to raise her voice and he cowers.
She doesn't want him to divorce her for adultery because, surprise surprise, 'it's all his fault (somehow), I'm not going to be labelled an adulteress'.
Plus he doesn't have the money to instigate a divorce and thinks that after two years (which will be this September in any case, it took ages to sell the house) she will pay half toward it.
As I say, had all these arguments, told him to man up and get on with it but it isn't going to happen.
My concern is that in the meantime she'll be getting deeper and deeper into debt and when crunch time comes, she'll land him with half of it. She had a credit card that was in his name, when they split up she told him that was his and washed her hands of it (he paid it off) and when the house wouldn't sell she tried to goad him into hitting her and when he wouldn't, tried to claim he had to have him ejected from the house anyway.
She's really not a nice person and is very manipulative, and he's weak - I really fear that this could go badly for him. I need to show him a website or something which explains his potential liability and explains what to do about it (I think there is a 'final order' or something that can be agreed as a cut off to joint liability but not sure, again hence looking for this info).
I fear then that all the advice under the sun will be for nought.Ultimately he is a really nice, but rather weak, guy who has been walked all over for 20 years. He's like a puppy that's been kicked repeatedly, she only has to raise her voice and he cowers.
She doesn't want him to divorce her for adultery because, surprise surprise, 'it's all his fault (somehow), I'm not going to be labelled an adulteress'.
Plus he doesn't have the money to instigate a divorce and thinks that after two years (which will be this September in any case, it took ages to sell the house) she will pay half toward it.
As I say, had all these arguments, told him to man up and get on with it but it isn't going to happen.
My concern is that in the meantime she'll be getting deeper and deeper into debt and when crunch time comes, she'll land him with half of it. She had a credit card that was in his name, when they split up she told him that was his and washed her hands of it (he paid it off) and when the house wouldn't sell she tried to goad him into hitting her and when he wouldn't, tried to claim he had to have him ejected from the house anyway.
She's really not a nice person and is very manipulative, and he's weak - I really fear that this could go badly for him. I need to show him a website or something which explains his potential liability and explains what to do about it (I think there is a 'final order' or something that can be agreed as a cut off to joint liability but not sure, again hence looking for this info).
Devil2575 said:
I was under the impression that debts only in the name of one party, i.e. his wife, are not connected to him in any way. It is only joint debts that he needs to worry about. At least that what I thought.
Edit:
This website seems to confirm what I think.
http://help.cleardebts.co.uk/partners_debts.html
The fact is that you are only liable for debts if they are in your name.
That is encouraging, thank you! Edit:
This website seems to confirm what I think.
http://help.cleardebts.co.uk/partners_debts.html
The fact is that you are only liable for debts if they are in your name.
That's the first thing I've seen on line that appears to relate to this situation.
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