Son parting from his wife - any advice?
Discussion
My son has caught his wife sleeping around in more than one place the dirty slapper (even going to Turkey to meet up with a waiter they met previously on holiday). They have an 8 year old daughter which doesn't help with the emotions involved on all fronts. She doesn't yet know he knows about the adultery (she thinks it's because of money aspects - see below)
She hasn't just been sleeping around either, for example my son found letters from the council stating he is in £4850 in arrears for council tax after giving the wife the money to pay it. (she's been using the money for sending to her Turkish boyfriend we think) but no doubt this is the tip of the iceberg.
I've advised him to see a Lawyer, but a heads up from any of you legal wise folk out there would be greatly appreciated!
1. He maintains a seperate savings account that only he sees/has access to (she has never been trustworthy enough with money) Will he have to hand over half his savings upon divorce?
2. He's obviously more than willing to pay maintenance for his daughter, but will he have to support this slapper too after her commiting adultery?
3. They live in a rented apartment which is in his name (he's currently back home with me), whilst he won't see his daughter on the street so to say, is he obligated to pcontinue paying the rent without any contribution from her?
Any advice welcome, thank you in advance!
She hasn't just been sleeping around either, for example my son found letters from the council stating he is in £4850 in arrears for council tax after giving the wife the money to pay it. (she's been using the money for sending to her Turkish boyfriend we think) but no doubt this is the tip of the iceberg.
I've advised him to see a Lawyer, but a heads up from any of you legal wise folk out there would be greatly appreciated!
1. He maintains a seperate savings account that only he sees/has access to (she has never been trustworthy enough with money) Will he have to hand over half his savings upon divorce?
2. He's obviously more than willing to pay maintenance for his daughter, but will he have to support this slapper too after her commiting adultery?
3. They live in a rented apartment which is in his name (he's currently back home with me), whilst he won't see his daughter on the street so to say, is he obligated to pcontinue paying the rent without any contribution from her?
Any advice welcome, thank you in advance!
Edited by Nors on Thursday 11th June 11:24
Nors said:
but will he have to support this slapper too after her commiting adultery?
I would have thought that as his dad, you would be the calm and mature voice of moderation, and encouraging him to exercise pragmatism over emotion. That's going to be needed if your son is going to continue to have a relationship with his child.By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I would have thought that as his dad, you would be the calm and mature voice of moderation, and encouraging him to exercise pragmatism over emotion. That's going to be needed if your son is going to continue to have a relationship with his child.
By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
Agreed! I'm just feeling a bit emotional for him! Lots to think about on that front obviously. By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
Nors said:
1. He maintains a seperate savings account that only he sees/has access to (she has never been trustworthy enough with money) Will he have to hand over half his savings upon divorce?
2. He's obviously more than willing to pay maintenance for his daughter, but will he have to support this slapper too after her commiting adultery?
3. They live in a rented apartment which is in his name (he's currently back home with me), whilst he won't see his daughter on the street so to say, is he obligated to pcontinue paying the rent without any contribution from her?
1. When the time comes, all marital assets are assessed and divided, by a judge if they can't agree. This may be 50:50 but unlikely. Usually the parent with the care of the child gets the majority share.2. He's obviously more than willing to pay maintenance for his daughter, but will he have to support this slapper too after her commiting adultery?
3. They live in a rented apartment which is in his name (he's currently back home with me), whilst he won't see his daughter on the street so to say, is he obligated to pcontinue paying the rent without any contribution from her?
2. Possibly. Conduct has no relevance to finances. Spousal Maintenance is alive and well, but is it dependent on one parties need and the other parties ability to pay.
3. Phew, no mortgaged home to worry about (see similar thread running). But yes, he is legally liable for the rent until the current lease expires.
Edited by PurpleMoonlight on Thursday 11th June 12:09
PurpleMoonlight said:
1. When the time comes, all marital assets are assessed and divided, by a judge if they can't agree. This may be 50:50 but unlikely. Usually the parent with the care of the child gets the majority share.
2. Possibly. Conduct has no relevance to finances. Spousal Maintenance is alive and well, but is it dependent on one parties need and the other parties ability to pay.
3. Phew, no mortgaged home to worry about (see similar thread running). But yes, he is legally liable for the rent until the current lease expires.
Thanks!!2. Possibly. Conduct has no relevance to finances. Spousal Maintenance is alive and well, but is it dependent on one parties need and the other parties ability to pay.
3. Phew, no mortgaged home to worry about (see similar thread running). But yes, he is legally liable for the rent until the current lease expires.
Edited by PurpleMoonlight on Thursday 11th June 12:09
Some good food for thought there.
Lease is only on a month's notice as they've had it for 3 years now.
Nors said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I would have thought that as his dad, you would be the calm and mature voice of moderation, and encouraging him to exercise pragmatism over emotion. That's going to be needed if your son is going to continue to have a relationship with his child.
By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
Agreed! I'm just feeling a bit emotional for him! Lots to think about on that front obviously. By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
But just remember there are 3 versions to this story, his version, her version, and the truth. It is entirely possible that he hasn't been an angel himself!
abitlikefiennes said:
As he is back living at home with you I would imagine you will incur higher living costs with an extra person in the household.
Perhaps your son could contribute to the housekeeping by an amount close to that of his savings?
That could work, to a degree, with reason I guess. Cheers.Perhaps your son could contribute to the housekeeping by an amount close to that of his savings?
The trouble is with her, she's never really worked at all, she's 'conned' him out of thousands and anything she gets will most likely get handed over to the foreign boyfriend and or blown on spending more time over there.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Nors said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I would have thought that as his dad, you would be the calm and mature voice of moderation, and encouraging him to exercise pragmatism over emotion. That's going to be needed if your son is going to continue to have a relationship with his child.
By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
Agreed! I'm just feeling a bit emotional for him! Lots to think about on that front obviously. By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
But just remember there are 3 versions to this story, his version, her version, and the truth. It is entirely possible that he hasn't been an angel himself!
my ex cheated on me, i ha no idea and i had never messed around outside of our relationship.
why are so many people on here so quick to condemn these days?
jesta1865 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Nors said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I would have thought that as his dad, you would be the calm and mature voice of moderation, and encouraging him to exercise pragmatism over emotion. That's going to be needed if your son is going to continue to have a relationship with his child.
By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
Agreed! I'm just feeling a bit emotional for him! Lots to think about on that front obviously. By the sound of the above, you're not going to be much help on that front!
But just remember there are 3 versions to this story, his version, her version, and the truth. It is entirely possible that he hasn't been an angel himself!
my ex cheated on me, i ha no idea and i had never messed around outside of our relationship.
why are so many people on here so quick to condemn these days?
So don't get your knickers in a twist.
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