Co-parenting agreement
Discussion
Bit of an odd one this - I've just been asked to notarise one of these things (text is here: http://familybydesign.com/content/wp-content/uploa... - basically like a pre-nup, but instead only dealing with the upbringing of a child.
We've had a fairly lively debate in the office with some suggesting that this would never be enforceable in England, with others (in the minority) saying that parts of it would be. Just wondering what anybody else thinks, particularly any family lawyers?
I declined to act, but always interested in being schooled - I've certainly never seen anything like this before, but I didn't used to see any pre-nups, and they're now relatively common.
We've had a fairly lively debate in the office with some suggesting that this would never be enforceable in England, with others (in the minority) saying that parts of it would be. Just wondering what anybody else thinks, particularly any family lawyers?
I declined to act, but always interested in being schooled - I've certainly never seen anything like this before, but I didn't used to see any pre-nups, and they're now relatively common.
Fantastic idea and should be compulsory. Hopefully prospective parents would read it, disagree on many important issues, row, fall out, split up and not have the kids they were going to have when they were clearly incompatible in the first place.
Saving us all a lot of time and money, and increasing the chances of kids being born to couples with common goals and attitudes who might just stay together for the long term.
Saving us all a lot of time and money, and increasing the chances of kids being born to couples with common goals and attitudes who might just stay together for the long term.
Jesus wept. Looks like a typical American invention, full of self important horse manure and trying to micromanage life to the nth degree while assuming that the parents are separate. Why tf is it "co-parents" anyway, what the hell is wrong with plain old "parents"? Has anyone, ever been asked about their "co-parents"??? These types of extreme-pc neologisms really drive me up the wall. Then there's the bit about who's going to be on the birth certificate. Who else but the PARENTS?! Anyone seen a birth certificate with "co-parents" section on it? FFS... 
PurpleMoonlight said:
I shorten that for you.
Mother has all the power.
Father has to take what the mother permits.
Read the link - you'll love it - it's all about sharing and stuff like that.Mother has all the power.
Father has to take what the mother permits.
Genuinely though, the one I got today was not biased in Mum's favour at all - it was just...odd.
QuickQuack said:
Jesus wept. Looks like a typical American invention,
Quite. What might have some validity under US legislation might very well not work in the UK.What people forget is that the vast majority of theirs is State Law and can differ between jurisdictions.*
Then there are overarching Federal Statutes. We don't have any such two tier system in the UK.
There is quite enough US influence/presence (e.g. ********* coffee shops) in the UK already.
* See Section H paragraph 5
We are not the 51st state. Over here Cornwall and Cumbria are subject to the same laws.
Our nearest equivalent is the divide between E&W and Scotland.
Americans seem to have a real hard on for litigating at the drop of a hat.
Some of the particulars in filings I have discovered are bizarre/mind boggling.
Kateg28 said:
PurpleMoonlight said:
I shorten that for you.
Father has affair and leaves.
Mother left with tiny baby and tries her best, juggling working, childcare and quality parenting time.
Fixed that for youFather has affair and leaves.
Mother left with tiny baby and tries her best, juggling working, childcare and quality parenting time.
How about mother has affair as dad was working 2 jobs to keep a roof over family's heads - breaks up family but still controls access etc
Father spends next 15 years paying contributions to a home he no longer has access to whilst getting 1-2 days a week with his kids.
ers come in both sexes you knowYes, I think the idea is that you can now become a parent without being in a relationship - you meet a partner, she is then inseminated with your sperm, and you become co-parents.
I agree that it's a good idea to sit down and discuss 'stuff' with each other, but these are dangerous as they're presented as legally binding, and I can't see how any part of it could be - indeed the one I saw included some clauses that were, in my view, discriminatory (homophobic to be precise).
EFA
I agree that it's a good idea to sit down and discuss 'stuff' with each other, but these are dangerous as they're presented as legally binding, and I can't see how any part of it could be - indeed the one I saw included some clauses that were, in my view, discriminatory (homophobic to be precise).
EFA
Edited by Actus Reus on Wednesday 16th December 14:53
Pieman68 said:
Oh yes, that's how it always works
How about mother has affair as dad was working 2 jobs to keep a roof over family's heads - breaks up family but still controls access etc
Father spends next 15 years paying contributions to a home he no longer has access to whilst getting 1-2 days a week with his kids.
ers come in both sexes you know
You wouldn't know that on this site. I just get fed up of hearing how perfect the men are and always the woman who has the affair. Just not true. Men are just as bad.How about mother has affair as dad was working 2 jobs to keep a roof over family's heads - breaks up family but still controls access etc
Father spends next 15 years paying contributions to a home he no longer has access to whilst getting 1-2 days a week with his kids.
ers come in both sexes you knowKateg28 said:
You wouldn't know that on this site. I just get fed up of hearing how perfect the men are and always the woman who has the affair. Just not true. Men are just as bad.
Men are far worse. Of all the couples I know where one of the couple has had an affair, it was exclusively the men. Apart from one case. And I don't blame her, because he was a nasty piece of work who made her life hell. If she's going to get beaten up for looking at a bloke the wrong way, she may as well get the benefit of the sex!TwigtheWonderkid said:
Men are far worse. Of all the couples I know where one of the couple has had an affair, it was exclusively the men. Apart from one case. And I don't blame her, because he was a nasty piece of work who made her life hell. If she's going to get beaten up for looking at a bloke the wrong way, she may as well get the benefit of the sex!
In the cases I know it turned out to be both having affairs. One was marginally better at hiding it for longer.TwigtheWonderkid said:
Men are far worse. Of all the couples I know where one of the couple has had an affair, it was exclusively the men. Apart from one case. And I don't blame her, because he was a nasty piece of work who made her life hell. If she's going to get beaten up for looking at a bloke the wrong way, she may as well get the benefit of the sex!
I think it's all dependant on situation. Of all my friends who I know have been involved in affairs, it has been 3 times the woman, once the guy. I wasn't friends with that guy for long after. Actus Reus said:
Yes, I think the idea is that you can now become a parent without being in a relationship - you meet a partner, she is then inseminated with your sperm, and you become co-parents.
I agree that it's a good idea to sit down and discuss 'stuff' with each other, but these are dangerous as they're presented as legally binding, and I can't see how any part of it could be - indeed the one I saw included some clauses that were, in my view, discriminatory (homophobic to be precise).
EFA
Not my field.I agree that it's a good idea to sit down and discuss 'stuff' with each other, but these are dangerous as they're presented as legally binding, and I can't see how any part of it could be - indeed the one I saw included some clauses that were, in my view, discriminatory (homophobic to be precise).
EFA
Edited by Actus Reus on Wednesday 16th December 14:53
I see a value in them as for the less thinking of us it provides a hit list of a load of things that they have not thought about. If this is co parenting (ie outside a relationship that most would normally recognise) then it is perhaps even more important that this be set out in black and white to avoid any potential 'glibness' or lack of consideration of the potential consequences of your decision to become a parent. That is from the practical side though.
From the legal side i see little or no value in E&W, although it could i suppose be said to be indicative of the intention of the parties at the commencement of the relationship and there for could be considered to be persuasive. But as said way way way off my field and this post and all on this topic from me are the musings of an interested person, not legal advice.
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