Aged Mums jewellery stolen
Discussion
Doubt there is anything anyone can do or suggest so I suppose I'm just having a little rant - cos I can.
My Mum is 81 now, deaf as a post and suffering a bit from dementia. She still lives alone but 125 yards from my sister who shops for her etc. She has a carers and cleaners come in to make sure she eats, takes her tablets and keep herself clean etc
In mid December we were visiting and my sister and my niece came around for a chinwag. The subject of mums jewellery came up and we got out her jewellery box. Immediately it was noticed a diamond cluster ring was noted as missing. After taking the jewellery box for safekeeping my sis mentioned my mums sapphire and diamond engagement ring was missing too. We started to look for photos showing the items and found a photo of a 5 diamonds in a row ring and on checking that's gone too.
Police and insurers have been informed. Police went to interview the carer today but the officer reports he has no suspicion whatsoever of the carer. He will do the same for the cleaners next week. Looks very much like we've got little chance of ever seeing them again. I asked the officer if there was any benefit in circulating the local pawn shops and second hand jewellery shops with descriptions but he said that the Police got very little response from them.
A bit down about it all but at least my mum doesn't realise much about what has happened - ordinarily she'd have been devastated.
If I can suggest to you all if you have elderly vulnerable relatives with carers etc going in that you try to secure their jewellery and valuables and also take some quality close up photos. It would be very helpful to Police and insurers alike.
I just hope karma exists so the thieving scumbag gets theirs before too long... and breathe
My Mum is 81 now, deaf as a post and suffering a bit from dementia. She still lives alone but 125 yards from my sister who shops for her etc. She has a carers and cleaners come in to make sure she eats, takes her tablets and keep herself clean etc
In mid December we were visiting and my sister and my niece came around for a chinwag. The subject of mums jewellery came up and we got out her jewellery box. Immediately it was noticed a diamond cluster ring was noted as missing. After taking the jewellery box for safekeeping my sis mentioned my mums sapphire and diamond engagement ring was missing too. We started to look for photos showing the items and found a photo of a 5 diamonds in a row ring and on checking that's gone too.
Police and insurers have been informed. Police went to interview the carer today but the officer reports he has no suspicion whatsoever of the carer. He will do the same for the cleaners next week. Looks very much like we've got little chance of ever seeing them again. I asked the officer if there was any benefit in circulating the local pawn shops and second hand jewellery shops with descriptions but he said that the Police got very little response from them.
A bit down about it all but at least my mum doesn't realise much about what has happened - ordinarily she'd have been devastated.
If I can suggest to you all if you have elderly vulnerable relatives with carers etc going in that you try to secure their jewellery and valuables and also take some quality close up photos. It would be very helpful to Police and insurers alike.
I just hope karma exists so the thieving scumbag gets theirs before too long... and breathe
Edited by elanfan on Sunday 10th January 20:50
Already done - the police wouldn't investigate until we had done so. Mum moved to be near my sister 4 years ago after her husband died and we had a major clear out before she moved. In the new house there is little clutter so was relatively quick and easy. In all honesty she never wore the jewellery much only on special occasions and I suspect she has forgotten she ever had it.
Upon opening mums jewellery box the 3 most expensive items would leap out at you. It's odd that those 3 alone have gone.
Upon opening mums jewellery box the 3 most expensive items would leap out at you. It's odd that those 3 alone have gone.
my mother (who suffered with multi-infarct dementia) was notorious for hiding things around the house. usually important things. course, no chance of her ever being able to recall where these things might have been squirreled away.
took my dad literally months to find some of the buried treasure after she had had to go into care
in the early stages she once lost her own car keys (not that she was allowed to drive by this point) - eventually found these two years later, hidden under a stone in an ornamental pond. they'd be there now if dad hadn't decided to fill it in (to prevent her perhaps falling in iirc). my sister and i like to imagine that this was just part of an elaborate escape plan - she had no concept that this was her home and that we were her own family. which i guess she just forgot about before retrieving the keys.
paul
took my dad literally months to find some of the buried treasure after she had had to go into care
in the early stages she once lost her own car keys (not that she was allowed to drive by this point) - eventually found these two years later, hidden under a stone in an ornamental pond. they'd be there now if dad hadn't decided to fill it in (to prevent her perhaps falling in iirc). my sister and i like to imagine that this was just part of an elaborate escape plan - she had no concept that this was her home and that we were her own family. which i guess she just forgot about before retrieving the keys.
paul
Edited by paulmakin on Sunday 10th January 21:19
Been through this with a couple of elderly ladies my wife was vaguely related to - one of the ladies did take to hiding stuff, but later would carry it around the house with her which resulted in a bunch of stuff going missing when she was taken to hospital on one occasion.
The other thing is they start giving stuff to all and sundry and where we'd been refusing stuff, other people clearly didn't hold back. Each time we'd go there'd be a gap where a picture or an ornament etc had gone.
The other thing is they start giving stuff to all and sundry and where we'd been refusing stuff, other people clearly didn't hold back. Each time we'd go there'd be a gap where a picture or an ornament etc had gone.
elanfan said:
In mid December we were visiting and my sister and my niece came around for a chinwag. The subject of mums jewellery came up and we got out her jewellery box. Immediately it was noticed a diamond cluster ring was noted as missing. After taking the jewellery box for safekeeping my sis mentioned my mums sapphire and diamond engagement ring was missing too. We started to look for photos showing the items and found a photo of a 5 diamonds in a row ring and on checking that's gone too.
Police and insurers have been informed.
Do you have any idea at all when they might have gone AWOL, or could it be any time in the last few years...? I suspect insurance might be a bit reluctant, especially given the other possible explanations.Police and insurers have been informed.
My sister is pretty sure she saw the cluster last year but cannot put an accurate date on it. Mum doesn't go out as she has very sore feet so highly unlikely to be in the garden or garage. I suspect she will need full time care sooner or later so there will probably be a complete clearance of the house then.
Insurers are aware but I've not put in a claim as such. The problem will probably lie in the limit on her personal possessions cover which is limited I think to £2500. The cluster on its own could be worth that.
Please learn from our lesson chaps and chapesses.
Insurers are aware but I've not put in a claim as such. The problem will probably lie in the limit on her personal possessions cover which is limited I think to £2500. The cluster on its own could be worth that.
Please learn from our lesson chaps and chapesses.
Edited by elanfan on Sunday 10th January 21:54
Edited by elanfan on Sunday 10th January 23:35
Might I suggest going round to the local jewelers which sell s/h items of around the same value. Wander in with another person and ask for something similar to one your mother has lost. You never know your luck. If you do find it, and it has sentimental value, ask to see the manager/owner and tell them that it is a stolen item and that you will be informing the police.
Take a photo of the item, and if the manager refuses, take a photo of him/her. Do not take the item.
If the person bought it in good faith then things become difficult for him and you, but more for him. Sometimes you can come to an agreement, but be aware that if you have been paid out by the insurance company things could then become very difficult indeed for you.
If the items have been stolen by careers or cleaners then they probably don't have a regular fence so the items might still stay local. If the jeweler doesn't trust the vendor and/or buys at a very low price, they might move the item on.
I sympathise with your, and your mother's, situation. CCTV is one answer, items under lock and key is another. Removing all items of value is the one favoured by many, but can exacerbate the situation.
Take a photo of the item, and if the manager refuses, take a photo of him/her. Do not take the item.
If the person bought it in good faith then things become difficult for him and you, but more for him. Sometimes you can come to an agreement, but be aware that if you have been paid out by the insurance company things could then become very difficult indeed for you.
If the items have been stolen by careers or cleaners then they probably don't have a regular fence so the items might still stay local. If the jeweler doesn't trust the vendor and/or buys at a very low price, they might move the item on.
I sympathise with your, and your mother's, situation. CCTV is one answer, items under lock and key is another. Removing all items of value is the one favoured by many, but can exacerbate the situation.
Sad situation but I doubt insurers can help. No forcible or violent entry or exit, and no knowing if the items have actually succumbed to an insured peril, such as theft. Every chance, as someone else has said, that she's hidden them somewhere, and they may even turn up in the future.
Here's hoping that's the case, and they are found eventually.
Here's hoping that's the case, and they are found eventually.
Sadly this is all too common.
We looked in on an elderly neighbour with increasing frequency over a couple of years as her general health deteriorated - as the number of carers and frequency of visits increased her valuables began to go missing, by the time it was properly noted and checked all the sentimentally important (and valuable) stuff was gone. There was no way of knowing exactly when or vaguely who could have been liberating it... it just evaporated. It was very sad, more so given that this frail trusting person was being taken advantage of so callously.
It served as a sobering reminder of human nature and to ensure that all valuables are properly logged and locked away.
I am sorry to hear of your mum's stuff - sadly, in all likelihood, it will be impossible to prove that it has been taken and impossible to recover. You just have to write it off as a 'cost of care'.
We looked in on an elderly neighbour with increasing frequency over a couple of years as her general health deteriorated - as the number of carers and frequency of visits increased her valuables began to go missing, by the time it was properly noted and checked all the sentimentally important (and valuable) stuff was gone. There was no way of knowing exactly when or vaguely who could have been liberating it... it just evaporated. It was very sad, more so given that this frail trusting person was being taken advantage of so callously.
It served as a sobering reminder of human nature and to ensure that all valuables are properly logged and locked away.
I am sorry to hear of your mum's stuff - sadly, in all likelihood, it will be impossible to prove that it has been taken and impossible to recover. You just have to write it off as a 'cost of care'.
Twiggy - I'm sure there'll be a problem with the insurance but might be more to do with value of items exceeding the personal possessions limit which is all risks. There has been no F/V/E/E so no cover under the general contents cover. I get to deal with the Staff Personal Insurance department so I maybe get a little more understanding.
As to letting strangers in my Mum opens the door to no one - us included. Went to collect her on Xmas eve to bring her to ours and it took us three quarters of an hour to get in. We now have our own key but if she leaves hers in the other side we still cannot get in.
To give you an idea how bad she is the gas people have been trying to change her meter for at least 2 years. We go there and there are numerous cards where they've turned up but not gotten in. Various letters asking her to make an appt etc. I think they've just about given up. I did try to get them to put her a meter outside as in my opinion it's in an awkward and potentially dangerous position (it's actually in the corner of a wardrobe in a bedroom) but they want to charge to do it!
As to letting strangers in my Mum opens the door to no one - us included. Went to collect her on Xmas eve to bring her to ours and it took us three quarters of an hour to get in. We now have our own key but if she leaves hers in the other side we still cannot get in.
To give you an idea how bad she is the gas people have been trying to change her meter for at least 2 years. We go there and there are numerous cards where they've turned up but not gotten in. Various letters asking her to make an appt etc. I think they've just about given up. I did try to get them to put her a meter outside as in my opinion it's in an awkward and potentially dangerous position (it's actually in the corner of a wardrobe in a bedroom) but they want to charge to do it!
elanfan said:
Twiggy - I'm sure there'll be a problem with the insurance but might be more to do with value of items exceeding the personal possessions limit which is all risks. There has been no F/V/E/E so no cover under the general contents cover. I get to deal with the Staff Personal Insurance department so I maybe get a little more understanding.
Well fingers crossed. elanfan said:
As to letting strangers in my Mum opens the door to no one - us included. Went to collect her on Xmas eve to bring her to ours and it took us three quarters of an hour to get in. We now have our own key but if she leaves hers in the other side we still cannot get in.
If she has any doors with Euro cylinder locks, I'd recommend you change to one that allows you to unlock even when a key is in the other side. CISA Astral S certainly permit this, but I'm sure others do too. Cheap and easy to do and might save you considerable agitation in future. simion_levi said:
elanfan said:
As to letting strangers in my Mum opens the door to no one - us included. Went to collect her on Xmas eve to bring her to ours and it took us three quarters of an hour to get in. We now have our own key but if she leaves hers in the other side we still cannot get in.
If she has any doors with Euro cylinder locks, I'd recommend you change to one that allows you to unlock even when a key is in the other side. CISA Astral S certainly permit this, but I'm sure others do too. Cheap and easy to do and might save you considerable agitation in future. But it wasn't anything a half-brick through the kitchen window couldn't get round...
Elderly relatives, eh? Who'd have 'em?
Forums | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff