ongoing problems with partners ex
Discussion
Ive been on here before about my partners ex who has bi-polar and is obsessed with his ex wife. Since she split up with him 4 years ago he has attacked me twice by coming into her house & tried to sexually assault her when he dropped the kids back. I went to the police on my 2 occasions and nothing was done as it was his word against mine even though i had video footage of him running away. The police are helpful but they need hard evidence. He texts her vile comments like a 10 year old who has just learnt to swear and the latest is he saw her best friend at work last week. He is a mental health nurse at the local hospital. My girlfiend spoke to her friend and she said she spoke to him for 60 seconds as she passed him in corridor said hi etc and was on her way. He has been texting my gf non stop the past 2 days in his usual obsessive way saying her friend thinks im a danger to her children, her family dont like me and that we should split up. This is all utter rollox and I'm sick to the back teeth of it. The bloke just wont let go. He called for a truce for the sake of the kids 1st Jan and week later was asking her to the park / shopping / cinema, when she said no he got the hump and started back with his crazy ways.
Ive spoken to the General Medical Council before about him and although they were concerned didnt press any charges as the things that were happening didnt happen in work time. Have I got anything to go on regarding this slanderous comment?
Ive spoken to the General Medical Council before about him and although they were concerned didnt press any charges as the things that were happening didnt happen in work time. Have I got anything to go on regarding this slanderous comment?
Hey there, Sounds like a similar situation as to what I had with someone harassing my mother. I would recommend seeing a solicitor, Keeping a record of all the messages that have been sent and some witness statements regarding comments made/him approaching you in any threatening manner. You could potentially sue for harassment (malicious communications act 1998, give it a look). Does he value his career? His savings? These are things you could potentially put at stake should things be getting out of control. I'm not an expert but once you slipped a letter through the door of his home or work with a potential court case I'd assume even a mental case might re-consider their actions.
Ultimately you will have to learn to be the bigger man & turn the other cheek.
I went through a lot worse than you describe. Ultimately you find these people can be very clever about what they do & don't do, often leaving your powerless to do anything about it. You need to understand that they get off on causing you distress & getting a reaction from you. A strongly worded solicitors letter may help, but far better will be your attitude.
I went through a lot worse than you describe. Ultimately you find these people can be very clever about what they do & don't do, often leaving your powerless to do anything about it. You need to understand that they get off on causing you distress & getting a reaction from you. A strongly worded solicitors letter may help, but far better will be your attitude.
wjwren said:
Ive spoken to the General Medical Council before about him and although they were concerned didnt press any charges as the things that were happening didnt happen in work time. Have I got anything to go on regarding this slanderous comment?
The GMC are for doctors not nurses, if you want to talk to a regulatory body try the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC). The NMC can still knack people for being naughty outside work although it generally needs to be something fairly serious and unequivocal.Edited by Osinjak on Tuesday 26th January 07:51
My wife got an injunction or non molestation order or whatever they are called against her ex husband for less than that. The police arrived at their joint house the night after it was granted and gave him 15 minutes to pack his essentials and get out.
Solicitor sorted it all out quickly, first he knew about it was a knock on the door and being handed the paperwork.
Solicitor sorted it all out quickly, first he knew about it was a knock on the door and being handed the paperwork.
eatcustard said:
Get your GF to change phone number or block his calls, not hard really is it?
she still needs to communicate with him when he is having the kids.He is a control freak. Will cancel last minute or want the kids in half an hour making sure we cant do anything.
When he came in and attacked me the police were very good and wanted to nail him, when he came in he knocked a tiny piece of plaster out the wall so the police wanted to do him for criminal damage. But in the end all he got was a few hours overnight in the cell and let off.
Sorry it wasnt the GMC it was the Nursing council, my mistake.
Plus he is a crap dad see's them twice a month. The kids dont even ask about him now. He is more intent on hurting/loving his ex than his kids.
eatcustard said:
Stop him from seeing kids, until he starts to act normal.
You are in control.
If he gets violent hit him back, dont let the bully win
Ive said that to my gf to give him no contact. But she says the kids want to see him.You are in control.
If he gets violent hit him back, dont let the bully win
When he came round and attacked me I did just that. He is bigger than me but i just snapped. Ended up with him asking me to get off him. Amazing what adrenaline can do.
wjwren said:
Since she split up with him 4 years ago he has attacked me twice by coming into her house & tried to sexually assault her when he dropped the kids back.
wjwren said:
Ive said that to my gf to give him no contact. But she says the kids want to see him.
I hate to say this but your Girlfriend needs to deal with this. When he tried to sexually assault her she should have gone to the Police and stop access to the children.LordHaveMurci said:
eatcustard said:
Stop him from seeing kids, until he starts to act normal.
You are in control.
If he gets violent hit him back, dont let the bully win
Not the most sensible of posts really.You are in control.
If he gets violent hit him back, dont let the bully win
Cowards run and hide and let bullys win, dont be a coward.
Kaelic said:
How about this?
don't use his kids to punish his bad behaviour!
Use the police or a solictor.
Kids are not f
king weapons
He would get nailed for Section2 Harassment going by what you have said, Have you even pursued this route?
The real issue is that in order to allow him access she needs to remain in contact which assuming what we have been told is correct is not really appropriate.don't use his kids to punish his bad behaviour!
Use the police or a solictor.
Kids are not f
king weaponsHe would get nailed for Section2 Harassment going by what you have said, Have you even pursued this route?
I'd imagine that had she reported the assault to the Police access would have been stopped until the matter was investigated.
I'm not saying this to be offensive - but in your position i'd just leave the women. Who needs that much baggage? There are plenty of nice normal women around. There are plenty who do not cause you to be attacked or have to put up with this rubbish.
She's got kids with the bloke. He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. She clearly isn't that bothered about sorting it.
She's got kids with the bloke. He isn't going anywhere anytime soon. She clearly isn't that bothered about sorting it.
Collect real evidence, indoor security camera can be had from £30
http://www.maplin.co.uk/p/sentient-discreet-wirele...
Talk to Police about Protection from harassment Act 1997.
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/s_to_u/stalking_and_ha...
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/discrimination/t...
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