Discussion
http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/1437889..._Just_give_me_the_points_and_fine___I_did_the_mobile_phone_course_yesterdayIt_was_boring_as_hell_/
I've posted this before but it is good:
Chap driving a blue three-wheeler Reliant along a bus lane in Holborn.
The chap is stopped and as the PC goes towards the car he notices the woman passenger has her hand over her mouth.
The PC approaches the driver, who says:
"Please report me officer."
PC: "I make those decisions. You were driving in the bus lane."
Driver: "I have an excuse but you won't believe me."
PC, seeing that the passenger was trying hard to stifle laughter, and nearly failing, said, "Give it a go. If I haven't heard it before I'll let you off."
Driver, resined, "I'm a bus driver. I regularly drive along this road, in this lane, and I thought I was in my bus."
PC takes a step back, makes it obvious he is counting the wheels, has a shocked expression when he discovers there is no upstairs. He approaches the driver again, and says, "But its the wrong colour, sir."
By this time the woman is unable to stop laughing and is actually crying.
The PC told him to be careful from then on and walked off without reporting him, but shaking his head, rather obviously.
From then on the bus driver used to hoot and wave at the PC.
It was the best excuse I'd ever heard. Still makes me smile. I hope the same for you, and those who read it before.
Chap driving a blue three-wheeler Reliant along a bus lane in Holborn.
The chap is stopped and as the PC goes towards the car he notices the woman passenger has her hand over her mouth.
The PC approaches the driver, who says:
"Please report me officer."
PC: "I make those decisions. You were driving in the bus lane."
Driver: "I have an excuse but you won't believe me."
PC, seeing that the passenger was trying hard to stifle laughter, and nearly failing, said, "Give it a go. If I haven't heard it before I'll let you off."
Driver, resined, "I'm a bus driver. I regularly drive along this road, in this lane, and I thought I was in my bus."
PC takes a step back, makes it obvious he is counting the wheels, has a shocked expression when he discovers there is no upstairs. He approaches the driver again, and says, "But its the wrong colour, sir."
By this time the woman is unable to stop laughing and is actually crying.
The PC told him to be careful from then on and walked off without reporting him, but shaking his head, rather obviously.
From then on the bus driver used to hoot and wave at the PC.
It was the best excuse I'd ever heard. Still makes me smile. I hope the same for you, and those who read it before.
Red Devil said:
My PC isn't working.
Because the keyboard is knackered from the spilt coffee.
I'm sending you the bill for its replacement.
I met up with an old colleague and he was custody officer when a rather obviously gay chap was brought in for drunk and disorderly and criminal damage. I'd just got off the phone to my super who'd told me that I had to post two officers for a pointless show of concern after an industrial accident.
I'd moaned at the CO and ended up saying, "He must think this station has a bottomless pit." meaning of officers.
The gay chap gave a little scream and said: "We don't want one of them."
It took us a few seconds to see the joke, but we ended up patting the prisoner on the back.
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