Dementia and getting power of attorney
Discussion
My partners father has recently died and her mother has dementia (and is in care). There is no house to deal with but they have a few thousand pounds savings (20k max).
The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
This tells you about getting a lasting power of attorney.
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
However, if the mother is legally not of sound mind as you imply, you'll need to apply for deputyship. This is covered here;
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documen...
and here
https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
However, if the mother is legally not of sound mind as you imply, you'll need to apply for deputyship. This is covered here;
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documen...
and here
https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy
uknick said:
This tells you about getting a lasting power of attorney.
https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
However, if the mother is legally not of sound mind as you imply, you'll need to apply for deputyship. This is covered here;
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documen...
and here
https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy
She has good days and bad days, but she has been diagnosed with dementia and is in a home. https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/overview
However, if the mother is legally not of sound mind as you imply, you'll need to apply for deputyship. This is covered here;
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documen...
and here
https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy
The fee's for becoming a deputy see huge. It looks like about £800 up front and on going fee's of £400 a year, preparation of accounts etc
My partner simply doesn't have the money to pay those sort of fee's so I guess I'm paying
Diagnosed with dementia is one thing, not being legally competent is another.
My grandmother was in a home for many years with vascular dementia. But, it was only for the last couple of years she was probably not legally competent, e.g. never recognised family members on a regular basis.
Why not get her GP to assess her competence? And then decide where to go from there.
My grandmother was in a home for many years with vascular dementia. But, it was only for the last couple of years she was probably not legally competent, e.g. never recognised family members on a regular basis.
Why not get her GP to assess her competence? And then decide where to go from there.
uknick said:
Diagnosed with dementia is one thing, not being legally competent is another.
My grandmother was in a home for many years with vascular dementia. But, it was only for the last couple of years she was probably not legally competent, e.g. never recognised family members on a regular basis.
Why not get her GP to assess her competence? And then decide where to go from there.
On a good day she recognises some of us, most of the time she really doesn't know who we are. No doctor would say she was competent.My grandmother was in a home for many years with vascular dementia. But, it was only for the last couple of years she was probably not legally competent, e.g. never recognised family members on a regular basis.
Why not get her GP to assess her competence? And then decide where to go from there.
The key question is whether she is able to understand what she is doing at the time she is doing it. My wife aand I arranged for a Power of long after my Father-in-Law started suffering from dementia and were able to do so as a family frien who saw him regularly was able to sign that he had capacity to understan what he was doing when signing hte forms, as indeed a comment he made afterwards about my MILs former resistance demonstrated. Sadly about a year later he fell off a cliff both menally and physically (but not literally) and if we had not got the thing signed up when we did we would have been in the Court of Protection.
So if your partner's mother is still able, even if not all the time to understand that she is giving you an your partner the right to manage her finances you may be able to get a lasting POA put in place.
So if your partner's mother is still able, even if not all the time to understand that she is giving you an your partner the right to manage her finances you may be able to get a lasting POA put in place.
jensenhealey2 said:
The key question is whether she is able to understand what she is doing at the time she is doing it. My wife aand I arranged for a Power of long after my Father-in-Law started suffering from dementia and were able to do so as a family frien who saw him regularly was able to sign that he had capacity to understan what he was doing when signing hte forms, as indeed a comment he made afterwards about my MILs former resistance demonstrated. Sadly about a year later he fell off a cliff both menally and physically (but not literally) and if we had not got the thing signed up when we did we would have been in the Court of Protection.
So if your partner's mother is still able, even if not all the time to understand that she is giving you an your partner the right to manage her finances you may be able to get a lasting POA put in place.
We consider a good day when she can remember our names. You can hold a conversation with her but Its rambling and she really soesn't understand.So if your partner's mother is still able, even if not all the time to understand that she is giving you an your partner the right to manage her finances you may be able to get a lasting POA put in place.
The irony is that my partners dad wouldn't agree to power of attorney for either of them as he was adamant he wanted to remain in control and pay for her care. Now its causing my partner massive stress as everyone she speaks to gives her a bill and she has no means to pay for it.
I arranged for a solicitor to visit my Dad with the forms for him to sign for me to become p.o.a. The solicitor was adamant that if he did not understand what he was singing it was definatly a no-no. Luckily he realised that is was in his interest to do so.
Life became much easier after I became his p.o.a.
Life became much easier after I became his p.o.a.
Message to everyone who has posted/will post on here:
You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
QBee said:
Message to everyone who has posted/will post on here:
You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
A little story about putting POA while you are still young, a bloke I know gave his son POA, within six months his bank account was empty even though the bank rang him when a large withdrawal was made.You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
£60,000 life savings gone. He wishes that he could turn the clock back.
QBee said:
Message to everyone who has posted/will post on here:
You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
We are certainly going to get something sorted. Even to the point of dumping all our crap now. We have spent a week getting rid of 50 years worth of accumulated crap in a 3 bed house. 90% of the stuff hadn't seen the light of day in decades. It was just a normal house but we spent days clearing stuff .You can see what a nightmare it is to wait until mental incompetence to get a POA in place.
How many have already put one in place for themselves so that your next generation can take care of your care and finances if needed in the future? Those who haven't, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later.
My wife and I recently sorted out our wills, (we were 59 and 49 at the time), and the will guy suggested putting POAs in place. It made perfect sense, so we did it, appointing our daughter and her husband to look after us if we got Alzheimer's, got cabbaged in an accident, had a stroke or whatever. So glad we did, dead simple process, minimal fees.
Go on, you know you want to.
I'm also going to leave instructions for the funeral etc. Everything about a death is stress and pain for the, kids and I want it to be simple. Even choosiing music is a stress for the kids. If you've written it down then there is no agonising about it for days like my partner did.
98elise said:
My partner simply doesn't have the money to pay those sort of fee's so I guess I'm paying
How about her Mum pays once you get the authority? No reason why not.The state would take everything to pay for otherwise free, and identical, care if she had more. The state has also effectively forced you to pay for setting this up, you'd do it without the special piece of paper if you were allowed to. So they shouldn't complain.
You are managing the money for her and doing it for nothing so asking for just the set up fee doesn't seem unfair. Her health has incurred the cost, so a fund set up to care for her due to her health should fund the cost of getting the fund going.
98elise said:
My partners father has recently died and her mother has dementia (and is in care). There is no house to deal with but they have a few thousand pounds savings (20k max).
The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
Are there on-going arrangements to cover the fees? Otherwise your parter's mother is pretty quickly going to need a Social Services needs assessment.The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
Sheepshanks said:
98elise said:
My partners father has recently died and her mother has dementia (and is in care). There is no house to deal with but they have a few thousand pounds savings (20k max).
The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
Are there on-going arrangements to cover the fees? Otherwise your parter's mother is pretty quickly going to need a Social Services needs assessment.The money is now the mothers, but is obviously not of sound mind. How do we get control of the money to continue paying for her care (and what ever else she needs). For a start we've just had a 1.5k bill drop through the letter box addressed to my Father in Law, so that needs to be paid.
My partner and brother have been dealing with it to date with their Dad, but now he's died they have no means to pay. She has a minimum wage part time (around 26 hours) job.
Social services have been involved as we have issues getting her mother into a new care home. She's in hospital at the moment having had a hip injury, and the care home have said she cannot go back as she is a risk from falls and they can't monitor her.
We can't find another care home as the hospital have said (during the care home assessments) she shouts, wanders and is violent. I've known the woman for decades and she is the quietest person I've ever met. I have never even heard her raise her voice. She has walked with canes all her adult life due to a disability, and has needed a frame since she was about 60. She moves at about an inch per second. We managed to get to the bottom of the "violence"...apparently she pinched a nurse once!
cymtriks said:
98elise said:
My partner simply doesn't have the money to pay those sort of fee's so I guess I'm paying
How about her Mum pays once you get the authority? No reason why not.The state would take everything to pay for otherwise free, and identical, care if she had more. The state has also effectively forced you to pay for setting this up, you'd do it without the special piece of paper if you were allowed to. So they shouldn't complain.
You are managing the money for her and doing it for nothing so asking for just the set up fee doesn't seem unfair. Her health has incurred the cost, so a fund set up to care for her due to her health should fund the cost of getting the fund going.
We really don't need this in the same week she buried her Dad!
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