Decent family/divorce lawyer
Discussion
Please can I have advice on decent family lawyers for a divorce.
My wife has filed for divorce and is very difficult about access to our 17 month old son. She has a habit of blocking people (like mother, sister, brother, best friends) out of her life forever. I'm afraid she will try the same on me.
She's disappeared with him and left no contact details.
I know I will need to get a court order to gain access. Does anybody know where I can find a good one please? Hopefully sensibly priced but I know good and cheap don't often go together.
My wife has filed for divorce and is very difficult about access to our 17 month old son. She has a habit of blocking people (like mother, sister, brother, best friends) out of her life forever. I'm afraid she will try the same on me.
She's disappeared with him and left no contact details.
I know I will need to get a court order to gain access. Does anybody know where I can find a good one please? Hopefully sensibly priced but I know good and cheap don't often go together.
I don't inow of anyone local to you, however it might be worth Googling direct access barristers (that's not the name of a firm, it's a scheme where you can engage a barrister directly without going through a solicitor. Barristers need to be registered specifically to do direct access). They're the experts at the coalface of family courts so will be well versed in giving you realistic and pragmatic advice.
I would have a look at wikivorce. They have very useful info on the divorce process and child access arrangements etc. http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/
There is a resource section to help you find a local solicitor. You can usually get a free 30 min consultation before engaging their services.
There is a resource section to help you find a local solicitor. You can usually get a free 30 min consultation before engaging their services.
Went through it 20 years ago.
I wish you the best of luck, but urge you to remember that solicitors are businesses and their primary motivation is to make money. They will urge 'being nice', taking your time and all sorts of other actions that take time/cost money.
How do i know this? 2 years into my divorce case I coincidentally went out with a lady who was a solicitor in the firm I used. She told me off the record that my case, as with others, was reviewed at weekly meetings and discussions had as to how much revenue they could look to make from me.
If I had to do it now, I would agree with earlier poster to go straight to a barrister and cut out solicitors. Be brave, get to court/in front of a judge as quickly as you can. Be firm in what you want.
And good luck! It stinks when they use the kids against you.
I wish you the best of luck, but urge you to remember that solicitors are businesses and their primary motivation is to make money. They will urge 'being nice', taking your time and all sorts of other actions that take time/cost money.
How do i know this? 2 years into my divorce case I coincidentally went out with a lady who was a solicitor in the firm I used. She told me off the record that my case, as with others, was reviewed at weekly meetings and discussions had as to how much revenue they could look to make from me.
If I had to do it now, I would agree with earlier poster to go straight to a barrister and cut out solicitors. Be brave, get to court/in front of a judge as quickly as you can. Be firm in what you want.
And good luck! It stinks when they use the kids against you.
CDP said:
Two years? That's pretty depressing but very good advice thanks. I thought interim orders were possible?
Interim orders happen, but the courts will usually want you to explore other options before that. Mediation being the prime one. Getting through all of this takes time and money. Point being showing you've done everything you can so that court intervention really is the last resort. With a reluctant parent it'll drag on into many months.Whilst you may be able to start things quickly, you have no control over how long your ex might take to respond to things. This is where the time adds up.
I hope you sort it. Too many kids miss out on decent parents.
Sorry to hear what you are going through. Been there, got the t shirt.
I spent over 12 years back and forth to court over access.
Firstly, you do not need a solicitor or barrister. If you do use one over what might be years you will spend a massive amount. Many thousands.
I did it by myself. No experience but I took on her (legally aid) solicitors and barristers. And won
Contact Families Need Fathers to begin with. Post here. Look at everything on line, and then do it yourself.
Don't expect anything to be quick. I had three or four periods of not seeing the children which lasted more than 9-12 months at a time.
Finally, remember this. Parents, both you and she, don't have any rights to see their children. The children do however have a right to see each of their parents. So if she stops them from seeing you, she is breaching their rights.
Do you have any contact details for her, or any idea where she is?
I spent over 12 years back and forth to court over access.
Firstly, you do not need a solicitor or barrister. If you do use one over what might be years you will spend a massive amount. Many thousands.
I did it by myself. No experience but I took on her (legally aid) solicitors and barristers. And won
Contact Families Need Fathers to begin with. Post here. Look at everything on line, and then do it yourself.
Don't expect anything to be quick. I had three or four periods of not seeing the children which lasted more than 9-12 months at a time.
Finally, remember this. Parents, both you and she, don't have any rights to see their children. The children do however have a right to see each of their parents. So if she stops them from seeing you, she is breaching their rights.
Do you have any contact details for her, or any idea where she is?
JumboBeef said:
Parents, both you and she, don't have any rights to see their children. The children do however have a right to see each of their parents. So if she stops them from seeing you, she is breaching their rights.
Wise words. This is often forgotten. Parents have very few rights. They have responsibilities. The children have the rights.Huge sympathies OP....so many of us have seen our children suffer from selfish parenting post-separation.
I'm six years in and have been self-repping for a year. Saving a fortune and getting similar positive outcomes. The Family Courts appreciate you keeping law firms out if the process too as it reinforces that your are there ensuring the child's rights.
Try contacting CORAM. Fantastic charity. http://www.coram.org.uk/how-we-do-it/coram-childre...
Good luck.
I'm six years in and have been self-repping for a year. Saving a fortune and getting similar positive outcomes. The Family Courts appreciate you keeping law firms out if the process too as it reinforces that your are there ensuring the child's rights.
Try contacting CORAM. Fantastic charity. http://www.coram.org.uk/how-we-do-it/coram-childre...
Good luck.
Huge sympathies OP....so many of us have seen our children suffer from selfish parenting post-separation.
I'm six years in and have been self-repping for a year. Saving a fortune and getting similar positive outcomes. The Family Courts appreciate you keeping law firms out if the process too as it reinforces that your are there ensuring the child's rights.
Try contacting CORAM. Fantastic charity. http://www.coram.org.uk/how-we-do-it/coram-childre...
Good luck.
I'm six years in and have been self-repping for a year. Saving a fortune and getting similar positive outcomes. The Family Courts appreciate you keeping law firms out if the process too as it reinforces that your are there ensuring the child's rights.
Try contacting CORAM. Fantastic charity. http://www.coram.org.uk/how-we-do-it/coram-childre...
Good luck.
I can give you the name of one in Lincolnshire?
I've spent some professional time very recently in the family courts and average solicitors are very common the good ones are hard to come buy. I can offer you the name of the person and firm I would use, I have no ties to this person but I know how realistic, down to earth and functional she is.
PM me if you are interested.
I've spent some professional time very recently in the family courts and average solicitors are very common the good ones are hard to come buy. I can offer you the name of the person and firm I would use, I have no ties to this person but I know how realistic, down to earth and functional she is.
PM me if you are interested.
I'm never going to be in this situation, but when discussing with a colleague who was, he said he was keeping copies of all correspondence including letters/cards he wrote to them and was prepared to show his children when old enough to understand. He knew his ex was twisting words and trying to poison their mind (whether this is true or not is a moot point), but he worked on the premise at some point he'd be able to get them back in his life and this paper record of being reasonable, pleading for access, etc etc would help him prove he loved them and it wasn't him that prevented access when it occurred. Maybe a rubbish idea, hopefully never needed, but thought it worth mentioning.
Good luck.
Good luck.
OP you say she left with no contact details - do you know where you can even find her?
She may be used to cutting people out of her life but if you stand firm and act decisively you don't know yet how she wikl respond. I applied for an order in September after being dicked around by my wife who was "hard as nails" and being dictatorial abour contact arrangements - granted my kids are much older - but she stood cocksure telling me to "bring it on" and that no court would apparently take me seriously. I called her bluff and submitted the C100. Within 2 months with a first hearing date set in stone and realising I was prepared to throw all I could at being well represented, she crumbled and turned up begging me to halt the proceedings. We now have amicable agreement and cooperation on the kids arrangements and she knows that if she messes them around I'll be going straight back.
I know its only one anecdote but just saying that in my case, decisive no-nonsense action co-ordinated by a good solicitor stopped her in her tracks.
Just to echo the above... whatever you do, this is not about "you" or upholding any rights you think you have... but your young son has every right to have a relationship with his father. You are fighting for the sake of his best interests, not your own.
She may be used to cutting people out of her life but if you stand firm and act decisively you don't know yet how she wikl respond. I applied for an order in September after being dicked around by my wife who was "hard as nails" and being dictatorial abour contact arrangements - granted my kids are much older - but she stood cocksure telling me to "bring it on" and that no court would apparently take me seriously. I called her bluff and submitted the C100. Within 2 months with a first hearing date set in stone and realising I was prepared to throw all I could at being well represented, she crumbled and turned up begging me to halt the proceedings. We now have amicable agreement and cooperation on the kids arrangements and she knows that if she messes them around I'll be going straight back.
I know its only one anecdote but just saying that in my case, decisive no-nonsense action co-ordinated by a good solicitor stopped her in her tracks.
Just to echo the above... whatever you do, this is not about "you" or upholding any rights you think you have... but your young son has every right to have a relationship with his father. You are fighting for the sake of his best interests, not your own.
Edited by theboss on Friday 23 December 08:16
CDP said:
Thanks for the suggestions. Forgot to mention I'm in the Cambridge/Norwich area.
Taylor Vinters - http://www.taylorvinters.com/our_people/jackiewell...Excellent and local. If she is too expensive, she gets a team member to do the grunt work but Is always overseeing and accessible! She is very approachable.
You could do an awfully lot worse than simply call her and ask..... Good luck
Edited by Slaav on Friday 23 December 20:03
Slaav said:
CDP said:
Thanks for the suggestions. Forgot to mention I'm in the Cambridge/Norwich area.
Taylor Vinters - http://www.taylorvinters.com/our_people/jackiewell...Excellent and local. If she is too expensive, she gets a team member to do the grunt work but Is always overseeing and accessible! She is very approachable.
You could do an awfully lot worse than simply call her and ask..... Good luck
Edited by Slaav on Friday 23 December 20:03
Willhire89 said:
T V are a great recommendation - eye wateringly expensive but worth every single penny
Funnily enough, somebody I sent their way said very similar!!Jacky doesn't seem to take the pish though and does offload to a junior if and where appropriate. She effectively turned a good friend away for two reasons: 1) mediation was the solution and 2) if client/wife wanted to 'go nuclear' the fees wouldn't be justifiable!
How rare is it for a lawyer to come out with that???
Edited by Slaav on Sunday 25th December 09:33
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