Separation solicitor (for men) - Any recommendations?
Discussion
So sorry to hear about this. 
Maybe look around for someone local, who you can work with face to face? Will also give you a chance to try them on for size/make sure you get a good vibe off them?
Feel free to use Pistonheads to vent/see if anyone local to you can help act as a distraction. For all the bulls
t, sarcasm and arguements that go on with this site, there are a lot of members who will know the feeling, and who might be able to help you through.
Maybe look around for someone local, who you can work with face to face? Will also give you a chance to try them on for size/make sure you get a good vibe off them?
Feel free to use Pistonheads to vent/see if anyone local to you can help act as a distraction. For all the bulls
t, sarcasm and arguements that go on with this site, there are a lot of members who will know the feeling, and who might be able to help you through.MockingJay said:
Seems to be a fair few of these threads popping up lately. Check out TheBoss' thread, it's got some good points in there.
And some very relevant lessons to be learned too... essentially avoid protracted legal and custody battles at any cost, hostility is incredibly destructive to the children. And most importantly be absolutely rock solid, consistent, calm and dependable for them as their whole world is imploding too.If its any consolation OP, I know how it feels, and whilst i couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel for many months, you WILL end up looking back on this as a mere character building experience rather than the end of the world as it seems right now. The s
t process you are now going through is entirely unavoidable though, you just have to buckle up for the ride.Reading theboss's thread is defintely a good idea.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
While the circumstances might be worlds different, it will likely offer some insights and advice.
Good luck
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...
While the circumstances might be worlds different, it will likely offer some insights and advice.
Good luck
Gallen said:
Thank you guys. This is very much appreciated. Lots of reading - pages and pages. But TheBoss's initial circumstances seem very familiar having had a *very* quick read of the first page...
G.
Definitely work through that thread when you have the time (difficult I'm sure) as there's lots of good advice there that you can take on board. You have to filter out some of the background noise but there's words of wisdom you'll relate to and find useful. The PH legal eagles know their stuff and seem more than willing to help on this kind of thing so my advice (just my unqualified 2 cents) is to post what you consider relevant here and listen to what they say.G.
And I'm sorry to here about your struggles. If it's any consolation, you're not alone, far from it in fact.
Gallen said:
Thank you guys. This is very much appreciated. Lots of reading - pages and pages. But TheBoss's initial circumstances seem very familiar having had a *very* quick read of the first page...
G.
Very sorry to hear this. Keep us posted, during my time of need I received a huge amount of support from PHers both in my thread and by PM, and I'll be forever grateful. There are some very wise people here. If there's anything I can do to help you or anyone else going through what I did, I'm here.G.
Gallen sorry to hear of your situation
From my own POV, try to keep everything as calm and as "business-like" as possible. You need to ensure that your kids are supported and provided for, whilst avoiding allowing the ex to steamroller you and use emotional blackmail to get what she wants from you.
If you can avoid the ineptitude of CAFCASS etc. when it comes to sorting out access then do everything in your power to do so. Look at the government sites with regards to maintenance payments based upon your circumstances and that will give you a guideline (dependant upon how many nights a week you have kids in your care etc.)
You will read a lot of horror stories on PH. From my own personal point of view I have never been to court or CSA and my ex and I have a decent relationship (and I see my daughter every weekend plus school holidays). If you are lucky enough to be able to deal with things as adults and put the most important people first, they will recover and be glad of having happy parents (even if not together)
It will take a while. There will be some ups and downs. But you WILL get through it all and you WILL look back in future and wonder why you put up with some of the st that you did. At the moment you will reminisce on the happy times and wonder what has gone wrong, but over time you will see the issues and realise that things were not as perfect as they seem right now.
Afraid I'm too far away for a pint but a virtual one is always available.
From my own POV, try to keep everything as calm and as "business-like" as possible. You need to ensure that your kids are supported and provided for, whilst avoiding allowing the ex to steamroller you and use emotional blackmail to get what she wants from you.
If you can avoid the ineptitude of CAFCASS etc. when it comes to sorting out access then do everything in your power to do so. Look at the government sites with regards to maintenance payments based upon your circumstances and that will give you a guideline (dependant upon how many nights a week you have kids in your care etc.)
You will read a lot of horror stories on PH. From my own personal point of view I have never been to court or CSA and my ex and I have a decent relationship (and I see my daughter every weekend plus school holidays). If you are lucky enough to be able to deal with things as adults and put the most important people first, they will recover and be glad of having happy parents (even if not together)
It will take a while. There will be some ups and downs. But you WILL get through it all and you WILL look back in future and wonder why you put up with some of the s
t that you did. At the moment you will reminisce on the happy times and wonder what has gone wrong, but over time you will see the issues and realise that things were not as perfect as they seem right now.Afraid I'm too far away for a pint but a virtual one is always available.
The advice...
I'd go to a local solicitor for a free consultation to go over the basics and get an idea. It happened to me many years ago. I bought a house (in my name only) and paid the mortgage and all of the bills but my ex moved in and we had a child. She had an affair so we split. At the time, I had to sell up and she was entitled to 1/3 of the profit of the sale of the house. (This may be different now.) This was at the boom time so I made exactly £100k on a 3 bed semi in the 6 years of ownership. She accepted £25k payoff back then but was entitled to more. I've paid child maintenance ever since but I don't mind as I see my son every week and I know it is contributing to him living in a decent area.
The none legal stuff based on experience...
You'll be angry and you'll get bouts of rage. Don't let your kids see this side. Try and be civil (not easy I know) with her and let the legal side of things come to a conclusion. You'll be a mess for a while but try and keep things together, job, health, friends, etc.
The good bit...
After a while, things will get less emotional and you'll see a new future and you'll feel happier with things. I went on to have 7 years of single life fun. Living on my own and seeing my son part time meant I had more time for lads holidays, nights out on the pull and generally being selfish. You won't be at this stage yet but you can get there. If I'm honest, they were the best times of my life and I actually get on better with the ex now than when we were together. We're very cooperative for our sons sake and I even get on with the guy she had the affair with and eventually married. We were both better apart although you may not be feeling that right now.
Actually reading that, why the hell did I hook up with Mrs Toon, get a house together and have another kid?
I'm happier than I've ever been in case she's reading...
I'd go to a local solicitor for a free consultation to go over the basics and get an idea. It happened to me many years ago. I bought a house (in my name only) and paid the mortgage and all of the bills but my ex moved in and we had a child. She had an affair so we split. At the time, I had to sell up and she was entitled to 1/3 of the profit of the sale of the house. (This may be different now.) This was at the boom time so I made exactly £100k on a 3 bed semi in the 6 years of ownership. She accepted £25k payoff back then but was entitled to more. I've paid child maintenance ever since but I don't mind as I see my son every week and I know it is contributing to him living in a decent area.
The none legal stuff based on experience...
You'll be angry and you'll get bouts of rage. Don't let your kids see this side. Try and be civil (not easy I know) with her and let the legal side of things come to a conclusion. You'll be a mess for a while but try and keep things together, job, health, friends, etc.
The good bit...
After a while, things will get less emotional and you'll see a new future and you'll feel happier with things. I went on to have 7 years of single life fun. Living on my own and seeing my son part time meant I had more time for lads holidays, nights out on the pull and generally being selfish. You won't be at this stage yet but you can get there. If I'm honest, they were the best times of my life and I actually get on better with the ex now than when we were together. We're very cooperative for our sons sake and I even get on with the guy she had the affair with and eventually married. We were both better apart although you may not be feeling that right now.
Actually reading that, why the hell did I hook up with Mrs Toon, get a house together and have another kid?
I'm happier than I've ever been in case she's reading...Forums | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff