Sisters soon to be ex-mother in law threatening to phone...
Discussion
.... police for her stealing car.
Will be as breif as I can.
Sister married a nutcase, why she did it we don't know. Anyway 18 months in and it's going Pete Tong. He's been verbally abusive and is just a seriously mental guy. Once she came in and her possessions were thrown on the floor and water thrown over them, her rings thrown out the window etc.
Guy is mega paranoid and been on drugs for a few years but did stop before their relationship so has been off them for a few years.
Guy most worryingly is a teacher.
Anyway, his parents have realised he is mental but are not happy with my sister as after hearing her side they said along the lines of "we must help him" but she had seen condoms (potentially just him winding her up) and isn't interested.
Anyway she has been living elsewhere for 4 months and paying half the bills still. They have agreed to sell the house in May.
His granddad died and some money he got (this is while they were still together) was used to purchase a car. Now my sister had put a LOT into the house deposit more than he had but this is marriage, it's all shared.
They bought him a motorbike.
He has now demanded the car back in 7 days. She phoned me in a panic as it's in his name. I told her not to worry as the V5C holds no weight and said the police will just see it as a civil matter so she now isn't too bothered and has said she won't give it to him as she needs it for work, he doesn't need a car and is just being an idiot which I think is true.
He starts crying his eyes out every time she phones so I said let's write an email starting with the car.
What are the rules here? I'm assuming they will be getting a divorce soon but in the mean time what is the best approach? We are HOPING to avoid solicitors costs at the moment as she is nearly skint but is paying half his bloody bills!
He has got plenty of income!
I'm thinking 3 options:
He buys her half of the car
She buys his half
They agree he keeps bike and she keeps car for now then settle on a disclosure when house sold.
I'm thinking he will want to keep most of the furniture so I'm thinking it's a good idea to agree on values of everything then split and if she wants the car she will have to lose out on furniture etc assuming the car is the most valuable asset.
I think they paid £3k for the car but it's an 06 automatic Corsa with 40k so I'm assuming worth £2k on a VERY good day so I'd hapilly give him a grand just to get him off her back.
Will be as breif as I can.
Sister married a nutcase, why she did it we don't know. Anyway 18 months in and it's going Pete Tong. He's been verbally abusive and is just a seriously mental guy. Once she came in and her possessions were thrown on the floor and water thrown over them, her rings thrown out the window etc.
Guy is mega paranoid and been on drugs for a few years but did stop before their relationship so has been off them for a few years.
Guy most worryingly is a teacher.
Anyway, his parents have realised he is mental but are not happy with my sister as after hearing her side they said along the lines of "we must help him" but she had seen condoms (potentially just him winding her up) and isn't interested.
Anyway she has been living elsewhere for 4 months and paying half the bills still. They have agreed to sell the house in May.
His granddad died and some money he got (this is while they were still together) was used to purchase a car. Now my sister had put a LOT into the house deposit more than he had but this is marriage, it's all shared.
They bought him a motorbike.
He has now demanded the car back in 7 days. She phoned me in a panic as it's in his name. I told her not to worry as the V5C holds no weight and said the police will just see it as a civil matter so she now isn't too bothered and has said she won't give it to him as she needs it for work, he doesn't need a car and is just being an idiot which I think is true.
He starts crying his eyes out every time she phones so I said let's write an email starting with the car.
What are the rules here? I'm assuming they will be getting a divorce soon but in the mean time what is the best approach? We are HOPING to avoid solicitors costs at the moment as she is nearly skint but is paying half his bloody bills!
He has got plenty of income!
I'm thinking 3 options:
He buys her half of the car
She buys his half
They agree he keeps bike and she keeps car for now then settle on a disclosure when house sold.
I'm thinking he will want to keep most of the furniture so I'm thinking it's a good idea to agree on values of everything then split and if she wants the car she will have to lose out on furniture etc assuming the car is the most valuable asset.
I think they paid £3k for the car but it's an 06 automatic Corsa with 40k so I'm assuming worth £2k on a VERY good day so I'd hapilly give him a grand just to get him off her back.
I think you're living in cloud cuckoo land.
If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
HantsRat said:
Plenty of income and being a teacher are two words I have never seen in the same sentence.
Everything is relative - in a world of £2-3K cars, a teacher, especially with a few years service in, is going to seem well off.OP: Who is policyholder on the car? If it's the husband, mind he doesn't cancel the policy.
photosnob said:
I think you're living in cloud cuckoo land.
If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
^^^ Rubbish. If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
She may get pulled, if she proves who she is (DL etc) and tells the story they will roll their eyes and Foxtrot Oscar. As others have said, it's a civil matter.
If they are married and get divorced, all assets will be split, including motorbikes etc. The % split will be down to any dependants, who they live with and the earning potentual of each party.
Get a solicitor.
Don't get bullied or engage with the noise.
Thanks guys.
My sister in law (wife's side) is going through the same thing. She has a solicitor so I'm kinda using her advice at the moment.
Ironically they are both teachers and both on 60k.....
Head of some departments.
Okay so the bike cost 3k and car 3k so I'm going to use some of the solicitors wording and put an email together for her. Saying call it quits and both parties sign any ownership over.
Hopefully by May we can get some money together to get a solicitor would just be nice to avoid the costs!
My sister in law (wife's side) is going through the same thing. She has a solicitor so I'm kinda using her advice at the moment.
Ironically they are both teachers and both on 60k.....
Head of some departments.
Okay so the bike cost 3k and car 3k so I'm going to use some of the solicitors wording and put an email together for her. Saying call it quits and both parties sign any ownership over.
Hopefully by May we can get some money together to get a solicitor would just be nice to avoid the costs!
Thurbs said:
photosnob said:
I think you're living in cloud cuckoo land.
If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
^^^ Rubbish. If the car is reported as stolen to the police, a marker is going to be put on the PNC. And if/when she is stopped she will be arrested on suspicion of twoc. That's the reality of it. The police will not want to explore the ins and outs of family law by the side of the road.
I think you sister should give him the car back. The V5 might say in big bold letters it's not proof of ownership - but to the police it will be when a theft report is submitted.
She may get pulled, if she proves who she is (DL etc) and tells the story they will roll their eyes and Foxtrot Oscar. As others have said, it's a civil matter.
If they are married and get divorced, all assets will be split, including motorbikes etc. The % split will be down to any dependants, who they live with and the earning potentual of each party.
Get a solicitor.
Don't get bullied or engage with the noise.
Josho said:
Thanks guys.
My sister in law (wife's side) is going through the same thing. She has a solicitor so I'm kinda using her advice at the moment.
Ironically they are both teachers and both on 60k.....
Yeah, right. Unless they're head teachers (or possibly deputy heads at a very large secondary school) they're not on 60K. Although some academies don't follow the scales, top of standard scale (15 years) is around 38K, plus you could possibly gain 10K as the head of a very large department (i.e. Maths, English). My sister in law (wife's side) is going through the same thing. She has a solicitor so I'm kinda using her advice at the moment.
Ironically they are both teachers and both on 60k.....
It might be worth telling mother-in-law that she'd be wasting police time which can result in up to 6 months in prison. In this case she'd not get anything like that but let her do her own research.
The cars an asset of the marriage and it sounds like she's now insured, but it's worth her having sufficient paperwork to quickly prove this at the roadside.
The cars an asset of the marriage and it sounds like she's now insured, but it's worth her having sufficient paperwork to quickly prove this at the roadside.
sim72 said:
Yeah, right. Unless they're head teachers (or possibly deputy heads at a very large secondary school) they're not on 60K. Although some academies don't follow the scales, top of standard scale (15 years) is around 38K, plus you could possibly gain 10K as the head of a very large department (i.e. Maths, English).
At my old school (a 1200 pupil LA Maintained Secondary, not an Academy) the Heads pay band started at about £80k and the 2x Deputy positions were about £60k upwards. Assistant heads started on about £50k upwards. Top of Upper Pay Scale now is £47k.It's not a topic for this thread but a personal bugbear of mine is the TLR (Teaching and Learning Responsibility) payments like you mention for Head of English / Maths etc. In those cases fair enough but if a teacher is asked to do ANYTHING more than their basic duties they immediately claim a TLR enhancement. Support staff just get given extra duties and told to suck it up.
It's a civil matter as others have said.
Practically, if she finds out the police have been contacted she'd be wise to contact them herself (via 101) to ensure the police have the correct circumstances and avoid treating it as a stolen vehicle (which it could be depending on what was reported).
Practically, if she finds out the police have been contacted she'd be wise to contact them herself (via 101) to ensure the police have the correct circumstances and avoid treating it as a stolen vehicle (which it could be depending on what was reported).
Ilovejapcrap said:
HantsRat said:
Plenty of income and being a teacher are two words I have never seen in the same sentence.
Really ?A teacher is a public sector job bet they get paid ok after all the government / councils don't seem to give a s
t how they spend our money. ker manages an anti local government post, PH never ceases to amaze me. well I'd just like to say I think the teachers, educating my children do a fantastic job and I'm sure earn every penny they are paid. The thought of teaching and being in a school and dealing with parents fills me with dread.
well done you teachers !
I hope this helps with yr sister's breakup. I'm available for all sorts of advice 24/7.
I suspect the Police couldn't care less about a couple breaking up, unless a spot of violence occurs.
well done you teachers !
I hope this helps with yr sister's breakup. I'm available for all sorts of advice 24/7.
I suspect the Police couldn't care less about a couple breaking up, unless a spot of violence occurs.
Grunt Futtock said:
sim72 said:
Yeah, right. Unless they're head teachers (or possibly deputy heads at a very large secondary school) they're not on 60K. Although some academies don't follow the scales, top of standard scale (15 years) is around 38K, plus you could possibly gain 10K as the head of a very large department (i.e. Maths, English).
At my old school (a 1200 pupil LA Maintained Secondary, not an Academy) the Heads pay band started at about £80k and the 2x Deputy positions were about £60k upwards. Assistant heads started on about £50k upwards. Top of Upper Pay Scale now is £47k.
It's pretty public information. Top of the upper pay scale is £38K.A family member is an Asst Head in a very big (~ 2000 pupils) LA School and doesn't earn £50K.
Sheepshanks said:
Grunt Futtock said:
sim72 said:
Yeah, right. Unless they're head teachers (or possibly deputy heads at a very large secondary school) they're not on 60K. Although some academies don't follow the scales, top of standard scale (15 years) is around 38K, plus you could possibly gain 10K as the head of a very large department (i.e. Maths, English).
At my old school (a 1200 pupil LA Maintained Secondary, not an Academy) the Heads pay band started at about £80k and the 2x Deputy positions were about £60k upwards. Assistant heads started on about £50k upwards. Top of Upper Pay Scale now is £47k. It's pretty public information. Top of the upper pay scale is £38K.A family member is an Asst Head in a very big (~ 2000 pupils) LA School and doesn't earn £50K.
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