Wills and being an executor law
Discussion
Looking for some advice ..Apologies for the long rant
I have joint Power of Attorney over my Mothers finances with my sister,
My Sister also has Power of attorney for her Health and welfare
we are both executers for mums estate named on her will .
Due to me working over seas with limited time in the UK , I let my sister deal with the finances As up till January our relationship was very good !!
6 months ago we downsized mums property and bought a Bungalow next door to my sister , All three of us are registered with the Land registry my sister and I own 10% each my mother 80%
With her 80% to be used if she needs to go into care and the property sold.
My mother has Dementia , Which has now got to the point my sister has placed her into a residential care home as the Dementia has got far worse.
relationships deteriorated between my Family and my sisters family during the house move as my Sister wants Full control , to the point she did not want us to be part of mums life or be involved with the house. They started to decorate the house ,all rooms which although the paint scheme is not to my taste or with our consent I would rather Mum be comfortable. The worrying thing was they removed a fence panel and installed a swing gate between the two properties , So When my Wife , children and I arrived to see mum , she would Grab mum and take her out the back door ...hence a 40 mile wasted drive . We ended up having to record all our visits to prove mum was in good health while we were there on the odd occasion when we found her there....In all a bit sad really.
Now Just after the house decoration was completed I went back to Iraq for 7 weeks , My wife reported The phone had been changed ( does not accept in coming calls ) ...BT advised this was on the day I left ....so only opportunity to call mum , was if my wife was with her over Skype !!.
Then on my return last week 3rd June we arrived through the front door, My sister who was in the property ran out the back door in her haste to avoid us and in so doing slammed the door breaking the glass ....My Brother in law called the police ....as he reported a burglary in progress while looking at me over the fence .. x3 squad cars arrived , With me stood on the doorstep key in hand with our 5 & 8 year old kids and Wife ......the bemused pc commented you don't look like your average burglar !!............It was recorded as a Civil matter , then the PC also had a chat with my Brother in law as he has fire arms in his property .
The upshot is we learned from the police that my sister had placed mum in a residential care home . We were not told where ? but to contact the old solicitors who sold the property as my sister had written to them to advise us..( she did not want to pass info to us directly ) , who due to a conflict of interest couldn't help !!
I contacted social services , who opened a case . Then on the 5th returned back to Iraq .
On the 8th I received an email from my brother in law finally telling me where mum is and informing me that the house needs to be sold valuation of 300 -£320,000. They then said conveniently there son wanted to buy with an offer of 305,000 a private sale so no estate agents fees !!.......They also said if I did not cooperate with the sale , Legal action would follow at Mums expense !! .
Now have a few queries , I understand I can contact the Office of the public guardian to investigate mums finances over the last year ....as my sister has been dealing solely with mums finances and have admitted by email " to keeping the her accounts low " to below the tier to aid receiving Social assistance
The house has been renovated potentially at her expense ?
I want to ensure that they have acted in mums best interest ,,,bear in mind the comment "using mums finances to fund a dispute between my sister and I over the house sale "
The Will is missing from the property ? Can My sister influence Mum to signing a new Will , with out my knowledge as Executor of the old will ........?
I want to Ensure after the House is sold the money will go into an account or trust fund that would require joint signatures of both power of attorneys prior to releasing money from Mums account , so that the care home receives Direct Debit monitored by both of us
How easy is this to set up ?
Finally I received news tonight from the Social mental care team , that the residential care home my sister has placed mum in , is totally inappropriate for her state of dementia , she has had several falls and more worryingly , The staff restrained her on the floor which resulted in her receiving sever bruises to both arms , unbelievable for an 80 year old lady aid her This is being investigated , But social are trying to move mum into an appropriate care home to look after her needs
I am stuck out here in Iraq for another 3 weeks , so its quite a lot to deal with
thanks for the advice
I have joint Power of Attorney over my Mothers finances with my sister,
My Sister also has Power of attorney for her Health and welfare
we are both executers for mums estate named on her will .
Due to me working over seas with limited time in the UK , I let my sister deal with the finances As up till January our relationship was very good !!
6 months ago we downsized mums property and bought a Bungalow next door to my sister , All three of us are registered with the Land registry my sister and I own 10% each my mother 80%
With her 80% to be used if she needs to go into care and the property sold.
My mother has Dementia , Which has now got to the point my sister has placed her into a residential care home as the Dementia has got far worse.
relationships deteriorated between my Family and my sisters family during the house move as my Sister wants Full control , to the point she did not want us to be part of mums life or be involved with the house. They started to decorate the house ,all rooms which although the paint scheme is not to my taste or with our consent I would rather Mum be comfortable. The worrying thing was they removed a fence panel and installed a swing gate between the two properties , So When my Wife , children and I arrived to see mum , she would Grab mum and take her out the back door ...hence a 40 mile wasted drive . We ended up having to record all our visits to prove mum was in good health while we were there on the odd occasion when we found her there....In all a bit sad really.
Now Just after the house decoration was completed I went back to Iraq for 7 weeks , My wife reported The phone had been changed ( does not accept in coming calls ) ...BT advised this was on the day I left ....so only opportunity to call mum , was if my wife was with her over Skype !!.
Then on my return last week 3rd June we arrived through the front door, My sister who was in the property ran out the back door in her haste to avoid us and in so doing slammed the door breaking the glass ....My Brother in law called the police ....as he reported a burglary in progress while looking at me over the fence .. x3 squad cars arrived , With me stood on the doorstep key in hand with our 5 & 8 year old kids and Wife ......the bemused pc commented you don't look like your average burglar !!............It was recorded as a Civil matter , then the PC also had a chat with my Brother in law as he has fire arms in his property .
The upshot is we learned from the police that my sister had placed mum in a residential care home . We were not told where ? but to contact the old solicitors who sold the property as my sister had written to them to advise us..( she did not want to pass info to us directly ) , who due to a conflict of interest couldn't help !!
I contacted social services , who opened a case . Then on the 5th returned back to Iraq .
On the 8th I received an email from my brother in law finally telling me where mum is and informing me that the house needs to be sold valuation of 300 -£320,000. They then said conveniently there son wanted to buy with an offer of 305,000 a private sale so no estate agents fees !!.......They also said if I did not cooperate with the sale , Legal action would follow at Mums expense !! .
Now have a few queries , I understand I can contact the Office of the public guardian to investigate mums finances over the last year ....as my sister has been dealing solely with mums finances and have admitted by email " to keeping the her accounts low " to below the tier to aid receiving Social assistance
The house has been renovated potentially at her expense ?
I want to ensure that they have acted in mums best interest ,,,bear in mind the comment "using mums finances to fund a dispute between my sister and I over the house sale "
The Will is missing from the property ? Can My sister influence Mum to signing a new Will , with out my knowledge as Executor of the old will ........?
I want to Ensure after the House is sold the money will go into an account or trust fund that would require joint signatures of both power of attorneys prior to releasing money from Mums account , so that the care home receives Direct Debit monitored by both of us
How easy is this to set up ?
Finally I received news tonight from the Social mental care team , that the residential care home my sister has placed mum in , is totally inappropriate for her state of dementia , she has had several falls and more worryingly , The staff restrained her on the floor which resulted in her receiving sever bruises to both arms , unbelievable for an 80 year old lady aid her This is being investigated , But social are trying to move mum into an appropriate care home to look after her needs
I am stuck out here in Iraq for another 3 weeks , so its quite a lot to deal with
thanks for the advice
DBSV8 said:
The Will is missing from the property ? Can My sister influence Mum to signing a new Will , with out my knowledge as Executor of the old will ........?
Of course she can. The question is whether in doing so she will be acting improperly. Proving it is another matter.https://www.wrighthassall.co.uk/knowledge/legal-ar...
DBSV8 said:
Now have a few queries , I understand I can contact the Office of the public guardian to investigate mums finances over the last year ....as my sister has been dealing solely with mums finances and have admitted by email " to keeping the her accounts low " to below the tier to aid receiving Social assistance
From your post it seems that your sister is taking full advantage of your frequent absences abroad.Your b-i-l sounds like a piece of work as well.
In your shoes I would be involving the OPG sooner rather than later.
As well as a full and frank meeting with Social Services as soon as you return.
Edited by Red Devil on Sunday 17th June 19:54
DBSV8 said:
I have joint Power of Attorney over my Mothers finances with my sister,
With, presumably, the ability for each attorney to act on their own, rather than needing to be jointly? (Section 3)DBSV8 said:
My mother has Dementia , Which has now got to the point my sister has placed her into a residential care home as the Dementia has got far worse.
I know it seems horrible, but it's probably for the best - for your mother, who's the most important one here.Come over to the "Parents with dementia" thread - https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?t=16...
DBSV8 said:
On the 8th I received an email from my brother in law finally telling me where mum is and informing me that the house needs to be sold valuation of 300 -£320,000. They then said conveniently there son wanted to buy with an offer of 305,000 a private sale so no estate agents fees !!
But they've got several valuations, right...?Does that valuation sound about right?
DBSV8 said:
They also said if I did not cooperate with the sale , Legal action would follow at Mums expense !!
<raises eyebrows> Legal action to do what? Force a sale? Your sister has PoA, so can authorise the sale on your mother's behalf, and - obviously - on her own. Yes, they could instigate legal action to force you to sell your 10%...But, putting the value aside for a moment and concentrating only on the concept, why not sell?
DBSV8 said:
Now have a few queries , I understand I can contact the Office of the public guardian to investigate mums finances over the last year ....as my sister has been dealing solely with mums finances and have admitted by email " to keeping the her accounts low " to below the tier to aid receiving Social assistance
Ewk. Never mind the accounts, she must have been actively lying on the forms by "forgetting" to mention the house.DBSV8 said:
The house has been renovated potentially at her expense ?
Your mother owns 80% of the house. Why would she not pay 80% of the renovation cost...?DBSV8 said:
The Will is missing from the property ? Can My sister influence Mum to signing a new Will , with out my knowledge as Executor of the old will ........?
Yes, she could. But does your mother have capacity to make a valid will? It doesn't sound like it. So the new will would be invalid, and if there's no old will available, then the rules of intestacy would apply.DBSV8 said:
I want to Ensure after the House is sold the money will go into an account or trust fund that would require joint signatures of both power of attorneys prior to releasing money from Mums account , so that the care home receives Direct Debit monitored by both of us
How easy is this to set up ?
Not hard. Speak to the bank. But do you REALLY want that, if you're going to be away from the country for extended periods...?How easy is this to set up ?
DBSV8 said:
more worryingly , The staff restrained her on the floor which resulted in her receiving sever bruises to both arms , unbelievable for an 80 year old lady aid her This is being investigated
Don't underestimate what a confused and scared person can get up to. Remember, she doesn't really know what's happening.Read this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0091901812
As far as your sister goes, of course she might be an utter fruitloop on the make, but could it be that she thinks that she's been landed with all the stress and work, while you swan in once every blue moon and just criticise without knowing the true circumstances...?
instruct three Estate Agents in your area to value the property.
However the long and the short of it is your sister quite likes the idea of having all the money to herself, quite possibly convinced herself she deserves it as she has been the one there etc..whilst you were overseas.
Do you know what the will said?
And what exactly does the PoA say?
However the long and the short of it is your sister quite likes the idea of having all the money to herself, quite possibly convinced herself she deserves it as she has been the one there etc..whilst you were overseas.
Do you know what the will said?
And what exactly does the PoA say?
I feel very sorry for you OP - and your frustration with the situation is very clear. What are your major concerns here - that your mother is not being properly looked after? that you do not have access to see your mother? that you think your sister has been taking her money? that your sister is trying to disinherit you?
Your best hope is to try to get some kind of working relationship with your sister by personal contact otherwise this could get extremely messy and expensive in every way (not just money). Why do you think your sister is behaving like this? Did you have a good relationship with her before? If you have not already done so, it would be a good idea to keep a log all of these events and collect as much evidence as you can.
Your best hope is to try to get some kind of working relationship with your sister by personal contact otherwise this could get extremely messy and expensive in every way (not just money). Why do you think your sister is behaving like this? Did you have a good relationship with her before? If you have not already done so, it would be a good idea to keep a log all of these events and collect as much evidence as you can.
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